My Evening Routine – Updated in 2023

I feel like in order to have a good day the next day, it starts the night before- cliché I know, but somewhat true. A couple years back I started experiencing some really bad chronic back pain that really started to affect me in ways that I didn’t really understand. This really affected my sleep, which then affected my morning, the next day, and then a cycle was born. A couple weeks into physical therapy I completely overhauled and shifted my evenings to try and help develop a better sleeping habit. For me, sleep is a big chunk of my attitude and approach to the day in a way that I didn’t recognize prior to working through my chronic pain. 

A couple of things….

This is what I’ve found works best for me. It allows me to calm both my body and my mind, both of which will hold tension and thoughts all night if I let them. This is also something that will apply year-round, although the time of evening might change come Summer. The basic concept and order of events stays the same, meaning my evening routine will always be about an hour and a half before I’m ready to read and then lay my head down. So, basically in the summer I will do this routine and then maybe pop outside and read out there until I’m ready for bed or what not. This is just what I need to do to get into that bedtime calmness.

So, my “evening” technically begins around 7:30PM when I put the kettle on, turn off anything on my phone that deals with “words” (I used to listen to podcasts as I cleaned in the evening and got ready for bed, but I found that that didn’t end up being very “relaxing”). I’ll turn on a classical music playlist on Spotify and start to do the dishes while the kettle is boiling. I pour an evening cup of tea- I swear by the Twining’s Nightly Calm- and will nurse it over while I tidy up the kitchen, wiping down all the counters, sweeping the floor and then a quick Swiffer. Once I finish in the kitchen it is usually time for the boys to start cleaning up their toys and getting ready for bed. 

I’m very lucky in the fact that, when he’s home, my husband will do most of the boy’s night routine. It’s kind of become his time with them (though there’s a lot of back and forth about cleaning typically ha-ha) and I’m happy to leave that to him. I continue to nurse the evening tea as I help the boys tidy up their toys (this is usually just pushing the boxes back where they belong and putting the couches and blankets back where they belong). Usually by the time this is done I’ve finished my tea and I’ll clean the mug up, turn all the lights off downstairs and head upstairs. 

I’ve still got the classical music playing in my ears as I head into the bathroom to take my makeup off, wash my face, and brush my teeth. During this time the boys are getting a bath (if Robert is not home, I’ll put off washing my face until after bedtime so as to handle the boy’s bedtime). I’ll admit, it took me a long time to get the good habit of washing my face every night. My skin tends to be fairly normal, no major breakouts, and most of the time it absorbs moisture very well. I would always take my make up off, but I’ve found that beyond the good benefits of skincare, it also just continues that feeling of “the day has ended”. Sometimes your body and mind really need the physical reminders to start shutting down. 

So, wash my face, brush my teeth, then moisturize my hands- this is a necessity especially in winter when my hands crack. 

On school nights the boys are in bed by 8:30PM (weekends tend to be anywhere from 8:30-10:00PM depending on what we’re doing- the later time being rare). Starting at 9:00PM my phone is put away and not touched again. I’ve always had the do not disturb option come on at 9:00PM, but I’ve been guilty of continuing to peruse social media or whatever until the second bedtime. No more. Looking at my phone, at all the “things” just makes my mind light up again and it’s hard to come back from that. So, phone up and away, and that includes the classical music playlist that I had going. It’s all done and gone. 

Once kids are in bed, in winter at least, I’ll crawl into bed and do some reading for about an hour until I turn the reading lamp off and go to sleep around 10:30PM. I’m not sure how this will change in the summer- I’m sure I’ll be sipping on my tea outside or downstairs with my book and soaking up the last of the light much later into the night. 

And that’s it! Seriously so simple and full of “obvious” duh things, but we often forget or miss out. This honestly has truly changed how I sleep and how I feel when I wake up the next morning, which in turn has been a game changer across the board. 

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Spring has Sprung…or has it?

Well, it’s official, by the calendar we are in Spring. A time of year for new growth, for life to emerge after the harsh, cold, dark winter…except we are still in that harsh, cold, dark winter. Mother Nature- how am I supposed to emerge full and bursting with new life? How am I supposed to come twirling out, welcoming the gloriousness that will be Spring sun and storms…if you can’t be bothered to stop the gosh darn forsaken winter tantrum storms? 

Ok- that was a lot for an introduction- I guess you could say I’m reaching the end of my tether with snow and winter. The snow and winter weather started so early for us this year, and with a bang I might add- nothing like a shocking 5 ft of snow to usher in Winter before Thanksgiving. There was another 5 ft snowstorm right as Christmas moved in (which we missed due to traveling), and it’s just seemed to be a forever gray landscape. Our false spring came super early this year- talking the beginning a February, almost a full month, and now it just seems like Mother Nature seems to be toying with us. 

As I’ve mentioned and discussed a wealth of times both here on this blog, as well as across social media, I’m a big believer in magic moments, in little joys, in finding the light in everyday moments. But even with my comedic take on the snow, it’s starting to get harder to watch the snow come down and think- oh how beautiful. I mean it is OBVIOUSLY beautiful, and I am OBVIOUSLY over it. 

AND I’m over wearing jeans (and pants in general)- bring on the spring/summer wardrobe of dresses, skirts, and more relaxed clothes please and thank you.

I’m ready to be sipping my morning tea on my front porch, spending the slowly lengthening evenings in the backyard. I’m ready to transform my space into a little paradise- full of light and fresh growing things. Ready to go for walks through the woods, and along the sidewalks of our neighborhood without looking like a giant puff marshmallow (seriously- just the preparation to head outside makes the worth of going for a walk questionable). While I miss the sledding, I’m ready for my kids to be able to run down the hill to the playground and play for hours outside- truly tiring themselves out. 

Oh, I am yearning for Spring. 

I hate to think too much of it – if anything, winters here have taught me to be grateful for every moment of whatever the weather throws at us whether that’s a surprise snow or a 50-degree sunny day- but it does seem like we seem to be on an upswing. Overall temperatures are trending upwards, and snowfall amounts are trending downwards. I’m hopeful that before too long we can say a fond farewell to the depths of winter. 

So, a toast to Spring, a toast to warmer weather slowly coming, to longer days, and to a new season to celebrate…even if it’s a whole month before we actually see it. 

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Jewish Literature 2nd Edition – Non-Fiction

It is time for our second edition of my Jewish Literature posts! I’m thinking this is going to be probably a once a month or once every other month schedule for these, mostly because I already have so many to talk about! I’m also going to try and keep with the concept of choosing two books that share some commonality- whether that be in genre, topic, age range, something along the same lines. 

The first edition of Jewish Literature covered two Literary Fiction/Romance novels. You can read that post HERE. I will have a separate page to link where there will be a roundup of all these posts, but I am still working on that.

This second edition we are going to focus on nonfiction, activism style books. I’ve found that this is an area that is interesting to try and find books in. It seems like the books that I’d like to read focus on aspects that are lacking or where the general populations thoughts are concerning Jewish People, and most books seem to focus on the political or the “why not us” style argument. 

Once again, I have two books that I had very different thoughts about. One I really enjoyed, highly recommend, buy for everyone and think everyone should read. The other I liked, but found it swung a bit too far away from what I’d like to see Jewish Activism be (which is an entirely different conversation). I’ll start with the positive – mostly because if you stop reading halfway through- I’d like you to read the recommendation of the book that I’d like you to pick up and think you need to read. 

People Love Dead Jews by Dara Horn

Ok, this book is a masterpiece and something that I feel like we don’t talk about, or honestly, even realize is a thing. Dara Horn takes the most famous or most talked about Jews (all of whom, or most, happen to be…dead) and dives deep into their stories, into why we love them, and why we focus so much on those stories. 

She starts the book out with a startling commentary on how she has only been reached out for commentary about Judaism, Jewish Life, and the like once an act of terror (and I mean an international level newsworthy even- like the Pittsburgh Synagogue or similar, not the acts of violence Jewish people are subjected to almost daily, or the hatred that spews out of people’s mouths every day). It seemed she was only asked for commentary, for a piece of journalism AFTER Jewish people had died. And that triggered something in her brain to examine it from a historical perspective. 

And boy, did she. This book really opened my eyes in a lot of ways, and I found myself equally gasping/saying woah, agreeing with her commentary, and crying at the sheer unfairness of it all. This book had me think about Anne Frank’s Diary in a completely different way- and I guarantee it will you too. But it wasn’t just Anne Frank, throughout history we tend to celebrate the Jewish People, to campaign for them, to help them ONLY AFTER a catastrophe has occurred. There isn’t a lot of the why’s or how’s, but more so a concept of laying bare the reality of what it means to only care about the Jewish people after their dead. 

I will never stop talking about this book and quite honestly think it should be one of those books that everyone picks up. 

Jews Don’t Count by David Baddiel

I’ve had this book on my radar for a minute, in fact I’ve owned it for a little while, but I hadn’t picked it up until the last couple months. Here’s the thing, a lot of my issues with social activism, especially where the Jewish people are concerned, is there is a lot of “What about us?” or “When is it our turn”. Valid questions, ones we ask ourselves as Jewish people all the time, but questions that I don’t care for. It implies that a) you can’t care for more than one cause at one time, which is false as we are all humans and we are multi-faceted and layered as humans and b) it implies that Jewish people should be/are more or less than others, which is just…wrong. We are all people, and we should all care about other people. But that’s a humanity thing and much bigger than this series about Jewish Literature. 

So, at the beginning of the book David addresses this right away. He says something along the lines about how he hates that question and the idea that groups have to “take turns”, but that it seems that in activism we’ve reached this point where that is the best way to explain where we’re at. I don’t know if I entirely agree with that because I feel like there are other ways to handle Jewish Activism, but I’m also not entirely in that realm, so I might (and probably am) missing some of that. 

Anyways, the book is a look at how, historically and in a modern setting, Jewish people are left out of the conversation when it comes to any sort of “ism” talk. There are specific examples stated about how politicians treat accusations of antisemitism, celebrities, and joe shmo across the street as well. I feel like this book is important to read (even though David Baddiel is British, and UK based so some of the sentiment doesn’t crossover to the US well) because there is a lot that we can miss- little things that we may not even think about but are important to call out. However, the book didn’t quite feel the same…call to action or I’m not sure how to word this, fix the problem as I think it could have been. Obviously, you can’t make people love Jewish People, but this felt like a very accusatory book and then didn’t follow up with any sort of…I don’t even know. 

I’ve got a couple of other Non-Fiction books that deal with the Social Activism sphere kind of on my radar as I’d like to read a couple more to compare a bit more in depth, but it’s going to be a bit before I get to those. I think of these two, you definitely need to read People Love Dead Jews by Dara Horn. 

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A Cuppa Cosy Reads – February 2023

Wow oh wow did February just blow me out of the water. Not only was it a busy one in real life, but it was a busy reading month too! I somehow managed to read a total of 10 books (insert a woah face here). Not only was it a whopper of an amount, but my average rating was a 4.125. Not too bad for a month I’ll say! I’m really hoping that this is a sign of a continued good reading year ahead of me- I was excited about every book I picked up, intrigued to read them, and just devoured books in a way that I haven’t in a long time. Let’s talk about them. 

Small Game by Blair Braverman 3.5 Stars – This is a book about contestants that are on a wilderness challenge game show. Think…oh I don’t know The Challenge or Naked and Afraid, but the production and camera crew just disappear halfway through. You follow the contestants as reality well and truly starts to set in. I enjoyed this one, even if I had this weird incomplete sense while and after reading it. 

Crave by Tracy Wolff 3 Stars – I picked this one up and while I don’t regret it, I definitely think that this…story didn’t end up working for me. I don’t know if it was too much of the play off of Twilight, or if it was just an overall feeling of “too much” for me, but it just didn’t work out. We are following a girl who has lost her parents as she relocates to a school where…not everyone is human. 

Chain of Thorns by Cassandra Clare 5 Stars This concluding book to this trilogy was incredible. Such highs, such lows, such a ride from start to finish. The past few months has seen me really fall back into Cassandra Clare’s Shadowhunter World and I’m not mad about it- especially with these later novels and trilogies. 

Romancing Mister Bridgerton by Julia Quinn 4 Stars I picked this up on a whim- I wanted to see if I would even enjoy the books- as Bridgerton the show is one of my favorites, but I was pleasantly surprised. I feel like the romance came on a bit suddenly, but it’s all in good fun. There definitely was some spice too, which I don’t know if I thought would be there – I figured Netflix embellished, but nope. 

*** The next three books I read as part of a read 3 books in a 3 day weekend challenge- you can read a little snippet HERE or catch the full “vlog” on my Instagram (@acuppacosy)***

The Very Secret Society of Irregular Witches by Sangu Mandanna – 5 Stars This was like a cozy cup of good tea- just a wonderful way to spend an afternoon) and yes, I read it in an afternoon). I heard someone say this was a “soft place to land” and I couldn’t agree more. This is just a good one. 

Radiant Sin by Katee Robert 4.5 Stars Wow oh wow, somehow, I go into each one of these wondering…what can we do this time and each time it stuns me. I highly recommend these if you need something a little (or a lot depending on your preference) spicy, quick/captivating, and fun to read. Modern reimagining’s of Greek myths (heavy on the re-imagining).

Finley Donovan Knocks Em Dead by Elle Cosimano 5 Stars Ok, wow what a difference book two makes in a series! I found the first book to be OK- in fact the main character just irritated me for a third of the book, but that was not the case in this second book. I loved it! I don’t know if it was actually better, or if we just didn’t need all the groundwork that the first book provided. 

I Survived the Nazi Invasion by Lauren Tarshis & I Survived the Nazi Invasion Graphic Novel by Georgia Ball NR I read both this one and the next for a middle grade/juvenile edition of Jewish Literature (hence the no rating) and found these to be alright. I don’t really know what to expect from middle grade literature as I feel like it’s so catered to each individual child and their own concepts of reality- as well as the parents and their parenting philosophies. As a Jewish child, I was intimately familiar with a lot of aspects of The Holocaust that I would venture to say my non-Jewish peers were not. So, while these were good and they do tell a story of a part of The Holocaust (and a good one for children to read), I don’t know that I would rely on this to teach or talk to my children about The Holocaust. 

Linked by Gordon Korman NR I’ll keep my thoughts on this brief, but I found this to be such a good read- age appropriate, content appropriate, and very good at tying history, to modern life, to children, to society and to Judaism. This book is a great jumping off point for a wide variety of conversations, not just about Judaism and Jew Hatred, but also about racism, history, and people. 

The Wisteria Society of Lady Scoundrels by India Holton 3 Stars This book was…ok. It was fine. A woman’s society of pirates, with flying houses, dry humor, and a tie to the Bronte’s? Sounds great! I don’t know what about this missed the mark for me, but it was a combination of probably a couple of things (the romance not being swoonish, the ending seemingly dragging, the plot being second…second to what though I couldn’t tell you). 

And that’s it! Like I’ve already shared- these first two months of the year have me really excited for what this year will hold for me in books and reading.

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