On this International Holocaust Remembrance Day

I said I wanted to share more of my heart on here, I wanted to share more real-world stuff, more of my “unfiltered”/” real world” thoughts, but man it’s scary! Especially on a day like today, in a world like we are in…but here goes.

Today (well the day that I am writing this- not sure if it’ll be posted same day or if I’ll sit on it for a couple days) is International Holocaust Remembrance Day. It is the day that the U.N. decided should be used to remember the Holocaust as it is the day that Auschwitz was liberated by the Allies. 80 years ago, today. In fact, the picture in the featured image (also below) is the sign at Auschwitz. The sign that has become synonymous with The Holocaust- which the saying and sign ARE, BUT this Auschwitz sign was actually at the “nicer” side of Auschwitz. Not the side that the Jewish people lived and starved and were murdered in gas chambers.

I feel like it’s important to note that this is NOT the day that the Jewish people mourn and remember- the Jewish people have a dedicated holiday called Yom HaShoah, which is in time with the Warsaw Ghetto uprising (you know- the notable important time when the Jews fought back). ***Don’t worry I’m trying to edit out some of my anger in this post***

Today I feel conflicted. It’s so important to remember (you know- we all say Never Forget like the good little citizens as the rise of Jew Hatred surges to unimaginable numbers), but this year I am filled with anger, with sadness, with heartbreak, with hope (because the Jewish people will survive), with frustration. 

We have people in power politicizing gestures (which- let’s face it, that was what it was regardless of how it was then politicized and the reaction from the person who did it was disgusting at best, horrifying and terrifying at worst- and that margin is microscopic), while Jews are being attacked physically and emotionally/mentally every day. There are BABIES BEING HELD BY A TERRORIST ORGANIZATION, but go off on a hand gesture (which again was what we all thought it was) fam. 

We say, “Never Forget” and then turn a cheek at chants, flyers, disruptions on college campuses intended to terrify, to harm, to disrupt. We say, “Never Forget” and then twist our bodies into pretzels to justify an actual TERRORIST ORGANIZATION kidnapping CIVILIANS and BODIES and holding them hostage for over a year, chanting horrible words, parading their crimes as others cheer. We say “Never Forget” as a holocaust survivor just passed away in December, having survived both Holocaust, but losing two of his GRANDCHILDREN on October 7th

***And let me be clear because there will be those who NEED this disclaimer because they don’t know me, they don’t know my heart, my feelings, my beliefs and they will take this post and turn it into something entirely different. I should not have to say this but here I am- you can be pro the Palestinians living in peace in their own home AND be pro Israelis living in peace in their own homes. You can recognize the actual history of the land and the people and not try to rewrite it to continue twisting your pretzel. You can be with the families of those murdered in cold blood on October 7th and the day, months following, be with the families of these hostages, these CIVILIANS, who were brutally taken, be with all of the people who are now living with very real trauma. You can do all of that and still believe that both sides deserve and need peace. It’s not one side only. Not if you have your humanity intact.***

Words have power if we give them power, right? And how do we give words power? With action. Never Forget means to never forget- it means both holding the memories of survivors, sharing their stories, facing the atrocity head on, AND stopping the rampant Jew Hatred, both overt and subtle, in its’ tracks. 

So, this year, on this International Holocaust Remembrance Day, I want to not only see all the shared posts about “Never Forget”, but I also want to see a post about present day Jew Hatred that needs to stop. I want to challenge you to go beyond the minimum, to truly embrace “Never Forget”. Because we are forgetting. 

Almost 2/3rds of American Millennials (millennials- my generation) and Gen Z do not know that 6 million Jews were killed in the Holocaust. 48% could not name a single concentration camp. 23% believe that the Holocaust is just a myth, didn’t happen or was exaggerated. These are HISTORY facts that folks don’t know about or don’t believe happen. Millennials and Gen Z are those who are leading the way (in a grassroots sense) for the next stage of our future. We have people on video calls saying we no longer need to carry guilt for the Holocaust. We need to move on. If we “move on”, if we do not learn from history, we are doomed to repeat it. And let me say this- we are repeating it. We are repeating it. 

So, I ask that you not simply say the words “Never Forget”, but that you give those words power again. That you speak about what you see. That you stand up. 

Rosh Hashanah 5785

Let’s be honest, I didn’t know if I was going to write this post. Honest. I didn’t know how to share the happiness, the joy, the celebration that is a new year while there is so much hatred, so much loss, so much heartbreak and anger. But, as I was sitting here getting ready for Chag (it’s currently 9:35 on October 2), I was just so overwhelmed, so moved and I wanted to get some of my words out. 

This year has undoubtedly been one of the hardest. Not to be Jewish- being Jewish is the easiest thing in the world, like breathing, but to exist in a world that wants to see Jews no longer. I know that sounds harsh, but that is the blunt honest reality we are living in. I have never in my life seen such vitriol, such pretzel twisting to make the Jewish people (and their state) the oppressors, such rewriting of history. It has been shocking. 

5784 was a tough one, probably one of the toughest we’ve experienced in a long time (and that is saying something), but it wasn’t all bad. 

Such unity, such embrace, such joy in simply existing, in being alive, in our blessings and protections from above in our faith and community. If it has been heartbreaking and horrifying to see outside the world, it has been heartwarming and comforting to see within our community. 

As we wander into these high holidays (some of the most important in our calendar) I know that we will be both celebrating, holding space for those no longer here, and also waiting with a small amount of bated breath- what next. But above all, we will be praying. Praying for ourselves, our families, our friends, our community, the hostages, the displaced, and our community as a whole. 

For me personally, 5784 was a tough one, but I am looking forward to 5785; to this fresh start, new beginning, and a lightness that I just feel is coming our way. I feel like it is going to be a bit of a transitional year on a personal level. I am doing a lot of looking, not necessarily just inward, but also at our larger community (and not even just the Jewish community). I am trying to once again find my place in it, find where I can do the best, and really strive to make an impact. 

There is a lot our world needs right now, but I believe at the core, we need to hold kindness in our hearts and in our words. I think we need to hold cooler heads, more abilities to listen and engage, and that these will allow for real meaningful change to happen. It’s a big ask, it’s a dreamer’s words, and sometimes it really seems impossible. To that, I think the best place to start is with kindness. Kindness opens doors, allows for cooler heads, and shows us a path forward. So, with that, my word this year is going to be Chesed (which is much much more than just kindness, but it embodies the feeling that I want to bring to this year).  

I hope this year brings peace, kindness, warmth, and joy to all of our lives. 

Pesach (Passover) 5783

***Fair Warning- this post jumps a little all over the place- trying to correct in the editing process, but you’ve been warned ***

Every time I think about the variety of Jewish Holidays we celebrate; in the back of my mind, I’m always clocking the kinds of celebrations we have. The level of preparation we put into them, the way that level varies from person to person, the way it’s varied for me over my life. It’s funny to think of them throughout the year- Rosh Hashanah and Chanukah are the ones I easily go the hardest for- they’re hands down my favorite. Purim is the one I probably do the least for, and Sukkot, Tu Bishvat, Simchat Torah all fall somewhere in the middle. Yom Kippur is so solemn that there isn’t sense in counting it- it’s spent in inward reflection and atonement. 

But these holidays are all different in the way we celebrate them within religious institutions as well. For Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, Simchat Torah we celebrate in Shul, with prayers and services and so forth. Sukkot, Tu Bishvat and Passover are all seemingly celebrated outside of the Shul (though still with community and there are still Shul events to be attended). And of those, I personally feel like Pesach requires the utmost care and attention. It’s always, for me at least, been one of the bigger holidays on the calendar. Not only in preparation, but also in content. 

So, a quick word on what Pesach is, how we celebrate it, and then what my family specifically does (as it is different, and different year to year- this may change in the future who knows). 

Pesach (Passover) is the holiday in which the Jews celebrate their freedom from slavery during the Pharaohs time in Egypt. Without getting too nitty gritty, the Jews were slaves in Egypt (all those pyramids? Yea we built them), and Moses was given a task from Hashem to go to save the Jews. Throughout his speaking with Pharoah there were 10 plagues visited on the Egyptians by Hashem, the final being the death of the firstborn son of all the Egyptians. This last plague led to Pharoah releasing the Jews, causing them to flee in the darkness of night across the deserts of Egypt. Pharoah tried to chase after them, but they were free. Of course, they then wandered for 40 days and 40 nights and there was a whole bit about worshipping false idols, but it all ends with the Ten Commandments, and we are on our way. 

Pesach is the holiday where we acknowledge the struggle of the Jews, the fight for the freedom, and the wandering in the desert. How do we celebrate that though?

Well, for starters, because the Jews were not able to wait for the bread to rise before fleeing, we purge our house of all chametz (leavened/ing items) and abstain from eating any bread/grain items for 8 nights. If you are strict in your home, you sell all of the bread/leavening, not kosher for Pesach items in your homes to a non-Jewish person. Most people will just pack the items away and place them outside the home (either with friends or in a garage, etc.). Some will tape up drawers and cabinets that have items they can’t use during the week. Once the house has had all chametz removed, the Kasher practice begins. This is a second step, a cleansing of spaces and cooking items to prepare for Pesach. The night before Pesach begins, there is one final hunt and prayer said to rid any last chametz. Instead of bread products, we eat something called Matzah- which is a dry cracker- unleavened bread. 

The first night a Pesach a Seder is held. This seder is held in a family home, or a community hosts it, where we follow the Haggadah- a book full of prayers, songs, the story of Pesach, as well as various rituals to guide our evening. We have a Seder plate that ties into the Seder itself and is meaningful (and required to have a Seder) and we are commanded to drink 4 glasses of wine/grape juice.  We make sure to acknowledge the plagues, the flight from Pharoah, the struggle of the Jewish people, as well as the freedom of the people. While a seder can be long, it does tend to be celebratory, and there is typically a lot of drinking (I had my first drink at a Pesach Seder). I honestly have some of my fondest memories form Seders in my childhood- ones that I treasure. 

There is another seder on the second night of Pesach, and then things shift a bit as we take the week. The weekdays of Pesach are considered Chol HaMoed- a time for family and typically consist of family outings and time away from work/school. Throughout the week, there is no consumption of leavened products. 

So, what do we do? 

It’s complicated. I will usually tell my children the story of Passover, we will talk about the seder plate and what each item means and its importance, and that turns in to a very abbreviated Seder. We don’t rid our house of Chametz, as my husband does not celebrate and will go about his regular eating habits- as do our children, but I will typically abstain from eating bread products at breakfast and lunch (we still do normal dinners). The boys will each have a bit of matzah and try the various concoctions I create with it. I will eat kitniyot (this is a kosher thing), but dinners by and large will remain the same in our home. In the past I’ve gone all out with a Seder and as a child, some of my fondest Jewish memories are during Pesach, around the Seder table. This may change in the future, but I think it works for us in a way- it allows me to celebrate Pesach, to acknowledge my ancestors, to teach my children about our history, but also acknowledge that my husband is from a different background. (I feel like I should say, we don’t do Easter in our home- though the kids have done Easter egg hunts at their Grandparents and school). 

Any questions? Please let me know- I would love to answer! 

Hanukkah 2022/5783

Ah, Hanukkah- the magical holiday about hope, about holding and fighting on to your beliefs, your traditions, and about having a joyous celebration for 8 long nights. It’s one of my favorite holidays and one of the few that is purely celebratory. We celebrate the Maccabees triumph, and we celebrate the miracle of the oil lasting. This year Hanukkah started this past Sunday evening and goes until Christmas Day (so our original gift giving of the first and last night is not happening this year- I’m thinking first and fourth? Who knows).

This year is a special one as it is the first year, I am going to be sharing Hanukkah in a real way. I’ve been invited into the boys’ classroom to share the holiday, as well as our local library for Storytime. It feels good, in the light of all of the rampant Jew Hatred lately, to be able to share the joy of Judaism through this holiday. To be able to share my Jewish-ness in a real way, in a way that is meaningful. 

Last year I really talked about the holiday of Hanukkah – you can read that HERE (I also talk about the Christmas-ization and the attempt of companies to profit off of Hanukkah more and more). This year, because I am teaching in a public school, I am not able to touch on any religious aspects of the holiday. This actually works out well as a) Judaism is an ethnicity before a religion (though the two are closely tied and it is technically considered and ethnoreligion) and b) Hanukkah is a minor religious holiday- not even really religious at all beyond the fact that they are praying in a temple. 

Since we aren’t fully going into the details of the celebration of Hanukkah (beyond the basic festival of lights), we are going to be leaning heavily into the traditions of the holidays and what exactly we do to celebrate.

Light the Hanukkiah

So, I think this one is pretty obvious if you know anything about Hanukkah and it’s one of the most important, key things. Every night we light one candle on the menorah celebrating every night the oil lasted. We light the candles from right to left using the Shamash (Helper) Candle. Now, a Menorah and a Hanukkiah are two different things. They are often used interchangeably- especially by non-Jews as the menorah is not as universally recognized. A Hanukkiah is specific to Hanukkah and has 8 candles plus the ninth Shamash candle (so a total of 9 candles). A menorah is a more standard 6 candles, plus a seventh helper candle (a total of 7). There is a difference, and to see a standard menorah on a Hannukah shirt bugs me. 

Every night of Hanukkah at sundown we kick the evening off with lighting the menorah, some families might light multiples) before getting down to the celebration. 

Games for Hanukkah

Another obvious one if you know anything about Hanukkah is the game of Dreidel, but maybe you don’t know the history of the game…

So back in King Antiochus’ reign, the Jews were not allowed to study Torah or practice any of their beliefs, this is all well-known knowledge at this point. However, the Jewish people have always found a way, even if it is under darkness and in total secrecy. The Torah Scholars in Antiochus’ day would quickly hide the torah scrolls and studies and pull out the spinning tops when the Greek soldiers would approach. They were “playing” not studying. Later this game would get the name “dreidel” (Yiddish for “to turn around”) and the letters on the dreidel stand for “Nes Gadol Haya Sham” or “A Great Miracle Happened Here” (I would have the appropriate Hebrew here, but Word and WordPress do not take kindly to inserting Hebrew into English- it reads different and then messes the entire document up). 

Dreidel is a fairly simple game that can descend into competitive chaos and great fun. Each side represents a different task- Nun – nothing, Shin – put one in, Hay – get half, and Gimel- get everything. Each player can start with the same amount of gelt, and then the center pot has enough gelt for each player to have one (so 6 players, the pot needs a minimum of 6 pieces- you can choose whether this comes from a separate amount or if the players put in to start). If you do not have enough gelt you can also use chocolate chips, raisins, pennies, whatever little treat. Each player gets a turn to spin the dreidel and follow the direction. Once a player runs out, they’re out! The game ends when there is only one player left with all the gelt. 

What we eat during the Holiday

I’ve actually been asked this this year and the answer is…a lot of food. Food is at the heart of the Jewish community- we show so much of ourselves, our community, our family with food. It’s one of the unspoken love languages (we will ALWAYS try to feed you or fret over food in some way). Most of our holidays have some element of food specifics- i.e., we eat a round challah on Rosh Hashanah, fasting is how we atone for our sins on Yom Kippur, we don’t eat leavened bread during Passover, I mean every holiday has some food element- whether it’s in the traditional foods or a more major atonement or guidance revolving the holiday. 

Hanukkah is no different. Most of the foods that we eat and enjoy revolve around…oil! Shocker since we are celebrating the miracle of oil and light. 

First up- latkes. Latkes are a potato pancake. Literally. That’s it. Shredded potato’s (with some other ingredients) fried in oil and then consumed with either apple sauce or sour cream- which triggers some lively debates (apple sauce for the win over here). 

You’ll also here a food called Sufganiyot, which are fried jelly filled donuts- think of it like if a beignet and a jelly donut had a baby. A delight (if you like that sort of thing) for the senses! 

Again, the main theme with both of these is that it is fried in oil. When we taste and smell the fried oil it is supposed to remind us of the miracle of the oil lasting all 8 nights. 

Most of our holiday celebrations are met with a main course of Brisket. Fun fact- brisket is the easiest of the meats to slice Kosher and it is more affordable, which is why we tend to eat it on all the holidays (it’s also delicious). 

Final- almost all Hanukkah celebrations contain some extent of Gelt. Meaning “money” (Yiddish), Gelt are wrapped chocolate coins commonly used when playing dreidel. They also signify the “gifts” that were originally given to children during Hanukkah. 

Finally, a note on gifts. 

Gifts are a fairly modern idea that mostly American/European Jews participate in, that’s right modern and only on our Western side of the continent (Israeli’s do not gift give during Hanukkah). The thought is that when Jewish families became more “mainstream” and Jewish children more integrated into our heavily Christian leading society, the idea of giving a gift during Hanukkah was introduced as a way for children to not feel “left out” in the rush of Christmas gifts. This tradition is vastly different from family to family, community to community, heck even year to year. 

Any Hanukkah questions? Leave them down below!

A Run on Jewish Literature

I want to start by saying just how apt that title is- the…double entendre of it all. These posts will probably be a bit of a…run on, but I also hope they create a “run on” in terms of shopping. But that’s all aside…

I’ve talked about Jew Hatred before on this blog (HERE) and this post isn’t necessarily about that, BUT I think it’s important to touch on quickly and it ties into a project I want to work on. If you haven’t seen the latest attack on Jews by Kanye West, well consider yourself lucky. He said some truly horrifying things and the response has been both disheartening and heartening. I’ve seen both ends of the spectrum from condemnation, to trying to write him off. However, he has spurned folks to take very real action in the real world (displays in Los Angeles over the weekend) which once again proves that words are real, no matter the source they come from. Now, Jew Hatred is not a new thing, it’s a thousand-year-old thing that ebbs and flows in intensity and presentation but always remains. However, the Jewish people are working not only to call out all levels of Jew Hatred – both shady and subtle as well as overt- but also to educate folks about Judaism. 

I’ve always personally felt like the best way to learn about the Jewish people and Judaism and our history is by speaking to people, learning or reading their experiences and stories. Judaism is unique as every single Jewish person has a completely different story to tell. A completely different life experience. You could talk to me and to my Jewish relatives and we will have very different experiences, different views, different levels to our Jewish-ness. Sure, there are some things that may be similar, but in terms of life and experience- every single one of us is different. Which means that listening and learning is so important. 

In this attempt to listen and learn, we will often turn to literature…or at least I will. And boy is there quite a bit of it out there, mostly centered on The Holocaust. 

I want to interject really fast and say- there is nothing wrong with reading literature regarding The Holocaust. This was the most horrifying, devastating thing to occur to the Jewish People in modern times and a truly horrifying act for all humanity. It’s also something regularly referenced and used as a tool to try and stop it from happening again. Which I have conflicting thoughts about, but that’s a thought for another day. 

So, so much literature around one of the most devastating things in our Modern Jewish History. And it’s not wrong to read books about it. In fact, I encourage you to read survivor testimony, to listen to the stories and understand why any level of Jew Hatred is terrifying to Jews around the world. It’s a hard subject, but it is so important to read. 

HOWEVER, you have to be careful when consuming Holocaust literature. You have to be careful when consuming any level of Jewish Literature. And that’s what I want to do with a new project. There is a lot of good Jewish literature out there, A LOT, but there is also a lot of harmful Jewish literature that is DANGEROUS and could contain some level of Jew Hatred that you don’t even realize when reading. 

What brought this idea on is the news (that I’m not sure how new this is- I think it’s been talked about before, but we might only just now be getting new publishing news?) that The Boy in the Striped Pajamas is going to be getting a sequel of sorts. Now, a lot of us have read the book or seen the movie. A lot of us would probably think- great it’s shining a light on the Holocaust- and the story of this Nazi family experiencing the torture and loss of their son, killed in the same manner as all the Jews. BUT what you’re actually reading is a Nazi excusing book. A book that’s saying this Nazi family (outside of the commandant) had no idea of what was happening in the camps, that this little Nazi boy befriended and helped this little kid, and it HUMANIZED him. The whole book is about HUMANIZING this Nazi family, when at the same time the dad in the family was continually torturing, starving, and killing Jews in the camp that he was in charge of. 

But we don’t pick up on that when reading. Especially if we are not reading critically and we don’t have the history or the trauma in our lineage or in our people. This is often times one of those books that is recommended to young children as an introduction to The Holocaust, but how can we expect our children to understand the magnanimity of the Holocaust if, from the start, they are looking at the Nazi’s through a sympathetic or humanized lens?

And that’s just Holocaust literature. Do you know that there is more to the Jews than just being murdered? 

During this project I am going to be reading a wide variety of Jewish stories, both Holocaust and not Holocaust related. I am going to be reading fiction and nonfiction, trying to cover a variety of genres. And then I’m going to come here and I’m going to talk about it. I’m going to talk about the representation, I’m going to talk about the level of Jewish-ness in the book, how it fits with our history, how it fits with my own story, and more. I’m going to take each apart and dissect them. It’s going to be more in depth than my monthly wrap ups because I really want to get to the meat and potatoes of Jewish Literature. 

I want to be able to recommend books that I feel are worthy of your time to read, to give you some insight on Jewish life (both the highs and the lows) and Jewish history. This is how I learn, how I take in knowledge, and I know that it is for others, so I hope this helps. This is going to a long-term project, though I have no idea on posting schedules for these. I have already read several books that I will be diving into first, but if you have heard of any, know any that you would like my take on, please let me know what they are, and I’ll add them in (same goes for if you hear of any in the future). 

Rosh Hashanah 5783

Shanah Tovah U’metukah! Happy Jewish New Year! As Rosh Hashanah comes to a close this evening, the Ten Days of Teschuvah begin (actually they start with Rosh Hashanah and then end at Yom Kippur). This period of time is a starting off point to reflection, growth, and returning to being the best that we can be. It’s a chance to jump start your growth and goodness for the year ahead. It’s a process that is meant to be continued year-round, but specifically these ten days are spent making right with relationships and our community. 

Last year’s post is really detailed about Rosh Hashanah and what we do, how we celebrate and what my thoughts were going into the past year- all of which you can read HERE. I’ll just add a little fun fact for this year. On Rosh Hashanah we wish each other a GOOD new year, whereas in the English New Year, you with a HAPPY New Year. This can serve as a reminder that by doing good, being “good”, happiness will follow. 

I normally post my Rosh Hashanah post prior to the holiday beginning, having spent the month of Elul (the last month on the Jewish Calendar, meant as a time of deep reflection and introspection) reflecting on the year, however this year I delayed. It’s been a bit of a weird time. Nothing truly major, nothing truly bad, just a forced time of reflection that had me…not really wanting to share things. I wanted to do some deep inner work and make things right in and with myself before I felt comfortable looking forward and turning outward. 

5782 was a year full of so many highs, a few lows, and a lot of…meh. Not meh necessarily, just a lot of stressful situations that, to be honest, I could have easily avoided or saw my way out of. And I should have. I let a lot of “out of my control” things affect my own self and that is not something that I really liked about myself. It’s not something that is directly in my nature, until I’ve been pushed to a point, and there were a couple of times that I was pushed to that point (and I shouldn’t have been). 

But I’m a deep believer in something higher than us, guiding our way, and placing things in/out of our lives to continue to guide and show us the way forward. And, while 5782 held both good and bad, I feel like I really deepened my own feelings and truths about my thoughts, beliefs, and feelings about relationships. And that is how I spent my month of Elul- deep in introspection over the prior year. I’m not going to be sharing too many of those thoughts, mostly because they are private and not something I want to put out into the world. 

All that being said, I was thinking and reflecting all the way up until Erev Rosh Hashanah. I was trying to figure out where I wanted this year to take me, it’s a year of change for us after all in so many ways, and I what I felt would be best for me, my family, and our community. And when I heard that Shofar Blast, that awakening to a new year, I felt those familiar shivers and goose bumps, and something locked into place for me. It’s a new year, a Shanah Tovah (a good year), and I’m READY. 

So, what does all this really mean???

Well, I’ve got a new…word for the year- really a new mindset. I’ve always been a “find the good” kind of person, but I found that in 5782 I struggled with it a bit more than I have in the past. That may not actually be fair to say…I’ll change that thought. I focused more of my time and intentions and energy on the negative, on the toxic, than I should have, than I normally would have. That’s more accurate. 

So, in 5783 I’m choosing הַכָּרַת הַטּוֹב (Hakarat ha’tov) or quite literally “recognize the good”. I’m also choosing שִׂמְחָה (simcha) or joy. It’s simple- there is no place in my life for the toxic, for the negative, for the bad energy. I recently read a quote that really just…resonated with me and fed into this feeling of needing this to lead my year- “At this big age, I’m only interested in progress and peace. Anything that costs either has to go”- We the Urban. If it does not serve my families progress or peace, if it does not feed our joy, our lives, then it has no place. 

Now, that does not mean that bad days do not come. It does not mean that we do not struggle. In fact, this year (5783) is going to be full of challenges for our family, but it means that either I will toss out of the negativity- treat it with a light laughter, turn it into something humorous, OR I will cling to the good moments when the bad come. 

None of this is really new to me- I’ve always been someone who tries to find the good, find the happiness, in fact this is something I touched on last year when my word was “mechaye” – something that gives great joy or life. This has always been who I am, but sometimes it can get a little lost in the everyday and this is my way of bringing it back to the forefront a little more. 

Beyond that – my goals for 5783 are in flux right now. I have things that I want to accomplish, as I do every year, and I feel like this year could really be a big year for those goals. Both boys are in school, so I have a bit more free time- though I’m rapidly filling it with commitments. However, I’m trying to keep an open mind to really welcome any new opportunities that knock on our day and find new ways that I can help those around me and in my community. 

So, with all those words said…I really just want to with everyone a Shana Tovah U’metukah- I hope 5783 is everything and more. 

Pesach 5782

***A little aside here at the outset- I don’t really know what this post is going to be, what it’s going to say, or anything really, I’m just putting some thoughts to paper (as it were) and sharing. I do this from time to time when it feels right and right now, I’m clinging to my culture and me Jewish-ness.***

We are currently, as of the time that you are reading this, right smack dab in the middle of Pesach. And it has struck me that while Pesach has always had a big role in my childhood/early adolescence, I’ve never really spoken about it. More so in a passing “oh it’s the holiday that celebrates the freedom of the Jewish people and we don’t eat bread”- which is more for others benefit than actual statement of what the holiday represents. It’s the basic phrase that I’ve answered for more years than I care to admit, the easy way to please someone without overloading them with information and leaving them confused or not caring. 

And in truth, it’s a basic answer. It details what the holiday celebrates and how we honor that celebration. But in reality, Pesach is so much more than that and its meaning and importance from ALL of my childhood Jewishness is much deeper than a simple sentence can convey. So, let’s unpack all of that.

First off, what is Pesach? And I’m going to call it Pesach, even though the English is a word much more familiar- Passover. At its core, Pesach tells the story of the Jews liberation from slavery and Pharoah in Ancient Egypt. It is a celebration of our freedom. As ridiculous as it is, I always like to point to the movie The Prince of Egypt because this movie tells the most basic, easy to understand story of Pesach. The Jews were slaves to Pharoah in Egypt, building his temples, his homes, doing back breaking labor for nothing. Pharoah was a truly horrible leader to his slaves, killing sons so that the population was controlled. The story of Moses birth, then upbringing in Pharaoh’s home is one told again and again. His eye-opening experience finding out he is one of the Chosen, a Jew. His task given to him by Hashem, to free the Jews. 

Moses goes to Pharoah and asks him to “Let his people go”, however Pharoah refuses (whatever will he do without all that free labor to build his grand temples and homes?). Of course, his refusal then leads to the 10 Plagues, with the final plague being the death of the first-born son of every non-Jew. At this, Pharoah tells Moses to get the Jews and get out. The Jews leave quickly, not even allowing enough time for their bread to rise (this is important) and make their way out of Pharoah’s Egypt. But of course, Pharaoh, in his grief, chases after them, cueing Moses parting the sea and the Jews escaping to safety. They then wander the desert of Egypt for 40 years before finding their way to Canaan, Israel. 

So, how do we celebrate this joyous event? Well by not eating any Chametz, or leavened bread, and by hosting a Seder. First, the foregoing of the leavened bread. We abstain from eating any form of gluten (this includes bread, pasta, flour tortillas, ANYTHING that expands when contacted with water) for 7-8 days (depending on how you practice). You are supposed to cleanse your house of all Chametz and do a full cleaning so not even a crumb is left. It’s important to note that there are varying levels of practice, as with anything else in Judaism, and how one practices does not reflect how Jewish one is.  However, no matter how you practice, the tradition of the ridding of Chametz, the eating of Matzah, is to ritualize and remember the breaking away from slavery. The idea of cleansing the house of Chametz, then going forward to 7-8 days with only Matzah (or unleavened crackers) is to symbolize our effective breaking of ties to Egypt. Eating the Matzah (while not always fun) is a symbol of our journey as Jews in the desert. 

As with any other Jewish holiday, Pesach is steeped in ritual. Aside from the cleansing of Chametz and eating Matzah, we also have a Seder. The seder is a very orderly, ritual reading of the Haggadah, telling the story of the freedom of the Jews, feast. This feast has a strict and precise order and details out everything from how many glasses of wine will be consumed during the formal portion (it’s 4), to the washing of hands, to the game of finding the Afikomen. It is a joyous, happy occasion and often times one full of laughter and a true sense of community. As part of the seder we invite both those we know and those we don’t know to join our table as a way of honoring that we were all strangers at one point. Typically, there is a Night One Seder and a Night Two seder as we celebrate the first two nights of the weeklong holiday. 

Starting the second night of Pesach, Jews typically “Count the Omer”, in which we count and pray on the days between Pesach to Shavuot (the next holiday). This is a 50-day period that links the freedom of Pesach and the handing down of the Laws at Shavuot. There is also Yom HaShoah, falling 5 days after Pesach, which is the Day of the Holocaust. This is a day of mourning for the Jewish people to commemorate the six million Jews murdered in the Holocaust. 

Pesach for me is a holiday that I have the fullest, fondest memories of. Of course, giving up gluten for a week is…well torture, it is also one of the few very physical ways to honor that struggle that our ancestors went through to gain our freedom. A freedom that cannot be taken away, no matter how much struggle we have been through since as a people. But I also have some of the best memories of family seders as a child. We always did a night one Pesach Seder with some really close family friends and their extended family. It was a loud raucous night full of singing, laughing, and some great readings of the Haggadah. There was always a spirited hunt for the Afikomen, and the evening ALWAYS ended with a second, third, whatever round of Dayenu. I always loved the holiday of Pesach as it is not only a story of freedom, but also a celebration of finding home. Of having community in each other. Of struggling and triumphing together as a people. 

AntiSemitism and Judaism

I’ll be honest- I’m really conflicted about writing this blog post. I feel like this is something that I NEED to talk about because it is RAMPANT right now in our world, but I also…don’t want to oversaturate or focus too much on it for a variety of reasons- some of which I’ll touch on in this blog post. I’m going to try and edit this blog post, but it is also going to be a bit freeform, going from point to point and just a bit stream of consciousness as I work through my thoughts and feelings. 

I feel like there are incidents that occur with regular frequency against the Jewish community (anything from physical assaults to vocal microaggressions) that don’t get talked about. I’ve come to expect this, but when there is a large news making incident against and involving the Jewish community that quickly gets deflected away from the Jewish community, that is, by and large, swept aside by the non-Jewish world, then we need to talk about it. 

By the time this will actually be posted the Synagogue Hostage situation in Colleyville, TX will have probably been completely “resolved” – and by that, I mean the news cycle has moved on and everyone has forgotten about it…except the Jews. There have also been several additional instances of Jew Hatred ranging from a woman yelling slurs and spitting on children, to rhetoric and swastikas being written on subway signs in NYC to name just TWO of the things that I’ve seen. So, let’s bring everything back up. Let’s talk about it. Let’s talk about the bigger issue at hand…antisemitism. 

But first, let’s talk about the word antisemitism. 

Antisemisism was first used in the late 1870’s by a German to describe the anti-Jewish campaigns that were occurring. It really and truly gained traction during Nazi Germany as a way to…placate those who may have questioned the anti jewish state the country was heading toward. The definition and examples have been expanded as the years go (and the ADL has some great resources in regard to this), but at its core it’s hostility or discriminations to the Jews, whether its towards them in a religious or racial way.  There are a couple things to note about the word…

  1. Jew Hatred stems further back than the introduction of “antisemitism”. It is the oldest hatred that we know, dating back to before Christ. This is a known and documented fact. 
  2. The word Antisemitism is actually not “correct” as it refers to “Semites” which, in some instances, can also include Arabs and other groups, not just the Jews. However, “anti-Semitism” was created to specifical relate to the Jews. Often times this fact gets shoved in when talking about “antisemitism” as a way to discredit or minimize actions.

So, in all honesty, I hate the word antisemitism. I hate it for a couple reasons; the first being that it was really brought to popularity by people who wanted to put a “stomach-able” label to the true horrors they were inflicting on others. While the Jewish community has really kind of taken over ownership of the word and have used it as a way to light upon certain hatred and hostility, we CANNOT ignore the origins of the word and who brought it in to regular use. It has by and large been used as a label to “hide behind” instead of blatantly stating what’s happening. The second reason that I hate the word is that, to be honest, it’s just becoming overused and watered down as a tool. While words have power, if a word is used to often (even if it’s justified) it becomes less powerful. I’ve long felt like “antisemitic” or “antisemitism” has lost its “effect” on the non jewish world and this has just become more obvious to me over the past year. I’ve, by and large, tried to cut that word out of my vernacular. I really want to start giving a bit more power to my words, choose them a bit more carefully, and really call things as they are. So, let’s start calling it what it is- Jewish Hatred. 

There is no actual place in Judaism for or that refers to Antisemitism. Let me kind of explain what I mean. Jewish holidays celebrate a few different things, some are in regard to the earth and what we are given by Hashem (such as Tu B’shevat which just passed- this is a celebration of the trees), some are in regard to Jewish triumph (such as Hanukkah), and some are a celebration of Jewish freedom (such as Passover). Our highest holidays of the year (Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur) are days of atonement and judgement. While holidays like Passover and Hanukkah reference hatred, control, slavery, a desire from outside forces for Jews to submit/change, there isn’t a direct reference. It’s more of a celebration of the Jews moving forward and continuing to survive. In fact, a lot of Judaism is a celebration of tradition, survival, justice, and the beauty of our world (and thus taking care of those things). While the hatred of Jews or othering of them is implied, it’s almost just an after statement in a way. 

There is no place in our celebration for hatred from others (or towards others- in fact you can argue that we just want acceptance for who we are and anything that has been done has been not done from a place of hatred, but that’s a whole separate post for a separate day). It’s a celebration of our traditions, our very people, surviving, moving forward, continuing on. It’s a celebration of our world, of the beauty that is in life. And so, most of the time, for most Jews, that’s what we want to share, that’s what we want to focus on, that’s what we want others to SEE when they see US. We don’t want to see, on our end or on others, the sheer amount of hatred there is. Judaism is so beautiful in so many ways and that’s what we want to focus on, share about, and just live. 

So, why can’t we? Please refer to my previous post for more thoughts and words HERE

They Saved Themselves…

I’m going to preface this post (rather this series of posts), with a bit of a disclaimer. I never thought that I would be here talking about this level of Jew Hatred. This is something that I’ve shared about on social media and maybe briefly mentioned on the blog, outside of talking about Holocaust sites that we’ve visited, but never something I’ve outrightly discussed. There are several reasons for this that we will get into in another post, but I feel like I’ve reached a point that I can no longer NOT talk about it. I’ve been feeling this pressure within to talk about it more for the past year or two, but it’s really starting to reach a crescendo. 

I want to start this off by saying that almost every single Jew has experienced some form of “othering”, of hatred, SOMETHING. Every. Single. Jew. It’s actually not hard to believe when you realize that Jews make up 0.19% of the world population. I’m not going to spit facts at you this entire post, but that’s an important one to know. Ask any Jew that you know, and they’ll talk to you about some incident. In fact, a recent number has come to light that in 2021 an average of 10 antisemitic incidents were REPORTED a day. 10 A DAY. And that’s just a) what’s reported (often they go unreported) and b) what can actually be reported. In just the weeks following the hostage situation at the Synagogue in Colleyville- which we will be getting into in this post- I’ve seen numerous incidences both in a micro aggression commentary sense, but also in physical attacks. In NYC a woman yelled holocaust and Hitler slurs at two young Jewish children and spat on them. An op-ed in the Wall Street Journal talked about how the only Jews that had to fear antisemitism are those that are “outwardly Jewish” or “frequent Jewish institutions”. This is beyond false and actually very dangerous rhetoric. Two instances right there in two weeks; examples of both physical (though mild as most are truly physical assault rather than just spitting on someone which is still bad and disgusting) and micro verbal nonsense spewed in a “reputable” news source. 

For me? The first time I experienced it was when my family moved from TX to CO, and I started a new school. I was the “weird girl who talked funny and didn’t celebrate Christmas”. Oh, and I also was the girl “who had that weird birthday celebration at the school” aka a Bat Mitzvah. This othering is not unusual by any means (and nowhere near close to some of the other things I’ve experienced), but at 11/12 in a new community and a new school it had an impact. Later in life I’ve experienced some micro aggressions and truly horrifying things said to me that I will not repeat (because they are truly horrifying). I’ve always kind of written them off as people coming from a place of ignorance or not understanding. But honestly that’s a lie and it’s a dangerous mindset to have. I see so many comments, words of ignorance, and statements becoming commonplace that are actually scary to hear as a Jewish person. 

The reality is that people are quick to write off the Jewish community. In terms of social justice, they are considered “white”, but in terms of white supremacy they are the antithesis of “white” (and in reality- Jews are NOT “white”, but at most white passing). The history of the Jews is long and storied and since it involves SO MUCH it must have been exaggerated or falsified- even though there is documented proof. There are always “bigger issues” to contend with OR “not enough information” to comment on what is happening. And, as a Jewish person, it is hard to watch my very people, my community, my home be wiped to the side as quick as dirt being swept on the floor. 

Sometimes it’s easy to see, like in the most recent incident that made international news- a gunmen entered a synagogue, took 4 hostages for 12 hours before finally being killed by the FBI without any other casualties. 

First off, this is an annual occurrence. There is some form of massive violence against the Jewish community every year. We see it in Synagogue shootings, hostage situations, stabbings in Kosher supermarkets. And these are the “major” events, the news making stories, this is not counting “minor” physical assaults and verbal attacks that Jews face EVERY SINGLE DAY. But we’ll focus on these major ones for the sake of conversation (just remember- Jew Hatred is not limited to these annual major occurrences, but rather happens every day). 

Now, let’s get into the specifics of this most recent hostage situation because I feel like they paint a pretty accurate picture of the state of Jewish Hatred. 

First, I personally saw the news break from an Israeli News Organization. I then saw the Jewish community rally and share details before lastly seeing our standard news outlets sharing information. I don’t have cable so I can’t say what the coverage was in that sense, but I will say I first heard and saw the hostage situation NOT from our American Mainstream Media. 

Second, the ONLY people I saw sharing it, talking about it, updating others was the Jewish community. This is going to sound a bit like a call out, and maybe it is in a way, but I didn’t see ONE person who was NOT a member of the Jewish community share. It was like crickets outside the Jewish community. The sad fact, is that a lot of the folks that were talking about it, sharing it (again- within the Jewish community) were sharing it and the fact that they KNEW that they would get no support from outside the community. That’s SAD. When there were finally comments being made from outside the community, they were…stilted to say the least. I saw everything from a “praying for the hostages” to “please don’t let this lead to a rise in Islamophobia” to the White House not even stating (in their initial comment- I know Biden later released a full statement condemning Antisemitism and what not) what was going on- just that the president had been “briefed about the developing hostage situation in the Dallas area”. Let me make something absolutely clear here- this is one of the things that HURTS the Jewish community when it comes to Jewish Hatred. Not immediately saying exactly what it is is a detriment, ESPECIALLY when it is BLATANTLY clear. 

When the hostages escaped (and we’ll get to that next), the FBI’s initial statement from the Dallas Special Agent in Charge was that this was “not specifically related to the Jewish Community”. Yes, read that again. We’ve learned a lot in the days following this hostage situation and there were some rumors, but we’ll put that aside for the purposes of this (and we’ll get to them- I promise). If we look at what we knew when this statement was made what we KNEW was that this man had taken these hostages in a Synagogue with the intent on getting someone (who also hated Jews and wanted the jurors at her federal trial genetically tested to determine if they were or were not Jews) freed from Federal Prison. He had the Rabbi call another Rabbi in another state to continue pushing his case for freeing this person. And the FBI made a public statement that this was “not related to the Jewish community”. Let that sink in. This is a government organization. A federal government organization saying something directly opposite of what we all saw. And, while most of us can see the flaw in that statement, there are people who, because this is the FBI, will believe it. 

Now the FBI has come out and corrected that initial statement and most people are talking about how outrageous and false that statement is, it’s still a damning heartbreaking statement to make literally on the heels of the entire Jewish community praying, daring to hope, and sitting on edge for the entirety of a Sabbath day. 

In the days following the Hostage situation we started to get a clearer picture of the events, which makes the entire situation clearer, more heartbreaking, and more damning. 

First, we hear confirmation that the hostage taker had the Rabbi call a Rabbi in New York to push his agenda forward. Not every rabbi knows every rabbi, and they are most definitely not connected in this sense to the justice system. The entire concept of “Jews control the Justice System” connects to an antisemitic trope of “Jews control the world”, which is…quite obviously false. False as it is, this is a narrative that is pushed forward quite regularly.

Second, we hear that 3 out of the 4 hostages escaped through their own self-defense tactics, knowledge, and training, rather than being “freed” or “rescued”. This is one of the most important factors to look at, after we look at the fact that this is obviously an attack on the Jewish Community, and we need to recognize what led to that. When the 3 hostages noticed that the attacker was getting more agitated, they used the training that they had received not long before this attack to escape. The Rabbi threw a chair at the attacker and the Vice President of the congregation had lined both himself and the other hostage up with the exit. These were tactics they had learned through a self-defense that they took in response to a rise in Jew Hatred and Jewish attacks. They saved themselves. 

They saved themselves. 

This is what Jews have been doing for thousands of years. 

Now, I’m not going to comment on what/how the FBI operates. I am sure they have trained tactics and five million different options, and they just try different things to do what they need to do. I’m not going to comment because I am just not aware and have not done any training for those situations. 

What I will comment on is the lack of awareness/sharing/” justice”, as well as what the commentary WAS when it happened. 

I saw a lot of the Jewish Community, once the hostage situation had ended with the hostages escaping, saying that they didn’t even think to look outside the Jewish community for anything. Where previously we would look to those outside our community to share information, bring situations to light, stand in solidarity, speak up…in this situation none of that happened. It wasn’t even expected. A lot of the community didn’t even hope for it. In fact, a lot of posts that I saw were “we know we have to do this ourselves”. What a dark place to be in. When you are trying so hard to say, “look here we are, we’re under attack, please just say something, anything” and to be rebuked, to be met with crickets. It’s heartbreaking. We don’t exist outside our own community. 

Think about this, your community is under attack, your family is under attack, you’re shouting to the world that this is happening, and you’re met with silence. Or, maybe more frustratingly, you’re met with “well let’s not turn this into this” or “well how did this one part of the issue happen”. Because that’s what happened. Outside our community it was a cry of “don’t let this lead to hatred in the other direction”, or “how did he get in the country?”, and “obviously something in gun control is flawed here”. All of these are things that need to be looked at, obviously. All of these are valid points. All of these are important questions. But there weren’t a lot of questions or headlines about the obvious…he attacked Jews. He thought that these Jews, this small community of people, had the power to accomplish his goal. So much so that he not only attacked them but had them call another separate Jewish community to push the agenda further. And yet, somehow, this is not really being talked about beyond our community. In fact, I’m not really seeing any real headlines at all at this point (we’re a few days out when I’m writing this). 

As I said the day after the attack, I don’t want false platitudes, I don’t want just a share and move on (though even that would be nice in some ways- show you care, ya know?), the Jews know how to fight and take care of themselves and their community…obviously. We’ve had to learn. We’ve had to learn the hard way. Because it was SILENT. It was silent during the attack, it was silent after, and it seems like it will continue to be silent. 

And that’s heartbreaking and enraging. It’s not ok. I am not ok.  

Hanukkah 2021

Last night at sundown started the Jewish holiday of Hanukkah. This is a minor holiday that was added to our holiday list after the Tanach was established. However, this holiday has a mighty, important story that we should all learn and know. To be honest, Hanukkah is my absolute favorite Jewish Holiday, with Rosh Hashanah being a very (almost tied to be honest) second. It has nothing to do with the gift part of it (which many people would assume), but with the story of the miracle of light. The miracle, the holding out of hope, the celebration of this one little miracle (as opposed to some of our other miracle celebrations). The entire holiday just gives me the warm fuzzies and makes me feel just…hopeful, grateful, and good. 

So, at its basic level, Hanukkah is the Festival of Lights. It celebrates the rededication of the 2nd Temple of Jerusalem. 

In the 2nd Century Antiochus IV and the Seleucids ruled over the territory and attempted to force the Jews to assimilate. They took over the temple of Jerusalem, sacrificed pigs and welcomed prostitution within the walls, built an alter to Zeus on a holy spot of Hashem, and outlawed several Jewish laws and practices. The Maccabees, Jewish warriors, refused to assimilate. They not only revolted against the Seleucids and drove them out, but they also revolted against those Jews who had assimilated. They waged a Civil War within the Jews and fought hard to bring back the Jewish beliefs and practices. Now, when the war was done and they went to rebuild and rededicate the temple, there was only one bottle of oil for the menorah (a 7-branch menorah- different from the hanukkiah we light during Hanukkah that has 9 branches). A miracle upon miracles, that oil lasted for 8 days, giving the Jews time to make fresh new oil to continue lighting the menorah every day. 

So, the story of Hanukkah is twofold, one is the miracle of the oil; the small pot of oil lasting for 8 days. The second is the fight against the assimilation of our people, the fight to keep our beliefs and traditions despite those who would destroy it and us. And for both of those reasons, I hold the holiday very close to my heart and it’s one of my favorites. 

Ok, so now that we know the history and such, let’s talk about the…” Christmas-ization” of Hanukkah. This is something that I’m a bit…well I have complicated feelings over. I’ll start by saying that as a family we celebrate both Hanukkah and Christmas, which most definitely plays a role in some of my opinions, but also as a child who experienced being “othered” for not celebrating Christmas/being Jewish, AND someone who is re defining what being “Jewish” and using my voice means/looks like, I feel like how I approach this is…notable. 

First off, by now you should know/realize that Christmas and Hanukkah are not the same. At all. And I’m not even saying in a commercial/capitalistic sense, but also just in a basic story of each. Christmas is the story of the birth of Jesus, who would go on to become the savior. Hanukkah is the story of a revolt against those who would have us change our ways, change our beliefs, change who we are, who would crush us into the ground. So, not really the same story at its most basic level. 

Second, these two holidays are not celebrated in the same manor. Hanukkah is celebrated over 8 nights, with fried foods, dreidel games, gelt and gift giving, and song and dance. When the Jews immigrated to the US they included gift giving as a way to offer something to Jewish children who go to school and hear about gifts/Santa (however some could argue that this is just an extended version of the tradition of gifting gelt that dates back to the early 1900’s). Hanukkah is also celebrated on a bit of a simpler “stage” than Christmas. At its basic-ness, we simply need a hanukkiah (the Hanukkah menorah- 9 candles instead of 7), some candles, and the prayers. Now, some families go beyond that, and set up larger displays in their homes, which is fine, but it is a far stretch from some of the Christmas decorations and idealizations of the holiday. 

With that being said, I appreciate stores trying to be inclusive and offer a wide variety of products to cater to every holiday in the winter. But, as we previously come to understand, these holidays are not the same. They are different both in basic story and in how they are celebrated. So, with respect to capitalism and big stores attempts, I do not want a “Hanukkah Bush”, nor do I want a “Mencsh on a Bench”, or “Hanukkah Charlie”. I don’t want to go into a store and see an attempt to take the holiday of Hanukkah and give it a Christmas rip off product. I don’t think that is wrong to feel AND while I was going to say that I appreciate the stores trying to include a wider variety of holidays, I really actually don’t. Hanukkah is not Christmas and when we understand a bit more of what the story of Hanukkah is (beyond the festival of light and the miracle of the oil), this becomes a bit more upsetting. The idea that The Maccabees were fighting against the idea of assimilating and changing our core, who we are, and our belief system, makes it so much more important to see the reflection of that in what is offered. And while we can argue that some…adapting is necessary in our survival and that the Jewish people have become experts at adapting our beliefs and rituals to fit just about anywhere (hello that is something we are very good at), that doesn’t mean that we need to be marketed to in this way.

I should say- I think each family should handle holidays in ways that work with their family and their beliefs. I would never judge a family on how they want to celebrate or practice. What I would like to see is stores doing a bit more research and understanding in the holidays themselves, rather than just shilling whatever out to consumers (a good example being making “Hanukkah Stockings”). It doesn’t take a lot for a business to do just a bit of research. 

I don’t know if I’ve worded my feelings above in a way that makes sense (and I did do a podcast on this, which may be a little cringeworthy, but there we are: HERE), but that’s my Hanukkah post for this year. I hope you’ve learned a little bit of the history of Hanukkah and my opinions on where we stand now.