My Evening Routine – Updated in 2023

I feel like in order to have a good day the next day, it starts the night before- cliché I know, but somewhat true. A couple years back I started experiencing some really bad chronic back pain that really started to affect me in ways that I didn’t really understand. This really affected my sleep, which then affected my morning, the next day, and then a cycle was born. A couple weeks into physical therapy I completely overhauled and shifted my evenings to try and help develop a better sleeping habit. For me, sleep is a big chunk of my attitude and approach to the day in a way that I didn’t recognize prior to working through my chronic pain. 

A couple of things….

This is what I’ve found works best for me. It allows me to calm both my body and my mind, both of which will hold tension and thoughts all night if I let them. This is also something that will apply year-round, although the time of evening might change come Summer. The basic concept and order of events stays the same, meaning my evening routine will always be about an hour and a half before I’m ready to read and then lay my head down. So, basically in the summer I will do this routine and then maybe pop outside and read out there until I’m ready for bed or what not. This is just what I need to do to get into that bedtime calmness.

So, my “evening” technically begins around 7:30PM when I put the kettle on, turn off anything on my phone that deals with “words” (I used to listen to podcasts as I cleaned in the evening and got ready for bed, but I found that that didn’t end up being very “relaxing”). I’ll turn on a classical music playlist on Spotify and start to do the dishes while the kettle is boiling. I pour an evening cup of tea- I swear by the Twining’s Nightly Calm- and will nurse it over while I tidy up the kitchen, wiping down all the counters, sweeping the floor and then a quick Swiffer. Once I finish in the kitchen it is usually time for the boys to start cleaning up their toys and getting ready for bed. 

I’m very lucky in the fact that, when he’s home, my husband will do most of the boy’s night routine. It’s kind of become his time with them (though there’s a lot of back and forth about cleaning typically ha-ha) and I’m happy to leave that to him. I continue to nurse the evening tea as I help the boys tidy up their toys (this is usually just pushing the boxes back where they belong and putting the couches and blankets back where they belong). Usually by the time this is done I’ve finished my tea and I’ll clean the mug up, turn all the lights off downstairs and head upstairs. 

I’ve still got the classical music playing in my ears as I head into the bathroom to take my makeup off, wash my face, and brush my teeth. During this time the boys are getting a bath (if Robert is not home, I’ll put off washing my face until after bedtime so as to handle the boy’s bedtime). I’ll admit, it took me a long time to get the good habit of washing my face every night. My skin tends to be fairly normal, no major breakouts, and most of the time it absorbs moisture very well. I would always take my make up off, but I’ve found that beyond the good benefits of skincare, it also just continues that feeling of “the day has ended”. Sometimes your body and mind really need the physical reminders to start shutting down. 

So, wash my face, brush my teeth, then moisturize my hands- this is a necessity especially in winter when my hands crack. 

On school nights the boys are in bed by 8:30PM (weekends tend to be anywhere from 8:30-10:00PM depending on what we’re doing- the later time being rare). Starting at 9:00PM my phone is put away and not touched again. I’ve always had the do not disturb option come on at 9:00PM, but I’ve been guilty of continuing to peruse social media or whatever until the second bedtime. No more. Looking at my phone, at all the “things” just makes my mind light up again and it’s hard to come back from that. So, phone up and away, and that includes the classical music playlist that I had going. It’s all done and gone. 

Once kids are in bed, in winter at least, I’ll crawl into bed and do some reading for about an hour until I turn the reading lamp off and go to sleep around 10:30PM. I’m not sure how this will change in the summer- I’m sure I’ll be sipping on my tea outside or downstairs with my book and soaking up the last of the light much later into the night. 

And that’s it! Seriously so simple and full of “obvious” duh things, but we often forget or miss out. This honestly has truly changed how I sleep and how I feel when I wake up the next morning, which in turn has been a game changer across the board. 

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Spring has Sprung…or has it?

Well, it’s official, by the calendar we are in Spring. A time of year for new growth, for life to emerge after the harsh, cold, dark winter…except we are still in that harsh, cold, dark winter. Mother Nature- how am I supposed to emerge full and bursting with new life? How am I supposed to come twirling out, welcoming the gloriousness that will be Spring sun and storms…if you can’t be bothered to stop the gosh darn forsaken winter tantrum storms? 

Ok- that was a lot for an introduction- I guess you could say I’m reaching the end of my tether with snow and winter. The snow and winter weather started so early for us this year, and with a bang I might add- nothing like a shocking 5 ft of snow to usher in Winter before Thanksgiving. There was another 5 ft snowstorm right as Christmas moved in (which we missed due to traveling), and it’s just seemed to be a forever gray landscape. Our false spring came super early this year- talking the beginning a February, almost a full month, and now it just seems like Mother Nature seems to be toying with us. 

As I’ve mentioned and discussed a wealth of times both here on this blog, as well as across social media, I’m a big believer in magic moments, in little joys, in finding the light in everyday moments. But even with my comedic take on the snow, it’s starting to get harder to watch the snow come down and think- oh how beautiful. I mean it is OBVIOUSLY beautiful, and I am OBVIOUSLY over it. 

AND I’m over wearing jeans (and pants in general)- bring on the spring/summer wardrobe of dresses, skirts, and more relaxed clothes please and thank you.

I’m ready to be sipping my morning tea on my front porch, spending the slowly lengthening evenings in the backyard. I’m ready to transform my space into a little paradise- full of light and fresh growing things. Ready to go for walks through the woods, and along the sidewalks of our neighborhood without looking like a giant puff marshmallow (seriously- just the preparation to head outside makes the worth of going for a walk questionable). While I miss the sledding, I’m ready for my kids to be able to run down the hill to the playground and play for hours outside- truly tiring themselves out. 

Oh, I am yearning for Spring. 

I hate to think too much of it – if anything, winters here have taught me to be grateful for every moment of whatever the weather throws at us whether that’s a surprise snow or a 50-degree sunny day- but it does seem like we seem to be on an upswing. Overall temperatures are trending upwards, and snowfall amounts are trending downwards. I’m hopeful that before too long we can say a fond farewell to the depths of winter. 

So, a toast to Spring, a toast to warmer weather slowly coming, to longer days, and to a new season to celebrate…even if it’s a whole month before we actually see it. 

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A Chatty Re-evaluation and Sharing Joy

I didn’t really have a post planned for today. Or rather, I had a million different ideas on what to post, posts prepared, and none of it really felt…right. I’m not sure- I’m kind of entering a bit of a funk with the blog. Not in a bad way, just in a…where do we go from here kind of way. What do I share? How do I share it? Do I even need to share it?

You could say in some ways there is a bit of an imposter syndrome moment happening over here. I hate saying it like that because I don’t know that that is exactly what it is. I go through these moments throughout the year of wondering if I really add any value (which HA wake up Mia- that IS Imposter Syndrome). These moments tend to come at times where there just isn’t a lot going on with life. Or at times when I feel like I’m creating much better…content in other spaces on the internet (videos on IG are really sparking a special kind of joy lately). 

I’m basically in a space where I want to reevaluate ever so slightly what I’m doing. A lot of the things that I’ve written about in the past, and tend to focus on, are…well not happening this year. We don’t have many trips planned because of life and work and such; we don’t have much going on that I can talk and share about publicly (not that I would necessarily choose to do, but I’ve always somewhat shared things that are affecting us). And so, I’ve just been trying to figure out what I actually want to write and talk about. This has been a thing that seems to happen every couple years – I tend to look back and forward to see where things stand (believe it or not I’ve been blogging in some form for 8 years now!). 

 So, what is going on? Well, the boys are on winter recess this year- I’m always shocked at how independent and self…sufficient, self-entertained they are getting as the months go by. I’ve filled in some of our days with playdates and errands (ambitious of me given the weather that’s coming in), but I’ve also scheduled in some time at home to rest and play. They’ve become amazing at simply playing together in their given spot in the house- whether that’s their room or the Lego area downstairs and allowing me to get things done or have a bit of quiet time. It’s shocking in some ways, sad in others, but overall, just super helpful haha. It’s a new level of parenthood that I’ve been grateful and sad to step in to- like much of parenthood. 

I’ve been a bit of a reading fiend this past week or so- I’ve just been devouring books in a way I haven’t in a long time. It’s been so refreshing to spend so much free time in between the pages of a book, to challenge my reading abilities, and just escape. When I’m not reading, I’m creating or I’m parenting, and I’ve just found a real joy in those three things together. 

It’s funny- when I picked my word for the year back at Rosh Hashanah (the Jewish New Year- read about it HERE). I had no idea just how much it would guide and ring true to me. I’ve found life to be filled with so much joy these past few months, even when its hard or when I’m feeling a bit down. I’ve once again found a contentedness to our lives, a complete space of peace with where things are at just right now. I’m looking forward to experiencing more of this joy throughout the year- and sharing it with you! 

Something I’ve been thinking about implementing it’s a bit more of the slice of life stuff that I share over on Instagram. Not in the same way, maybe when I put together a reel or video of something we’ve done- I might do a little blog post here, go into a bit more detail, share links if needed and so forth. I feel like I want to immortalize some of these just true joys filled moments in so many ways and I think finding a spot on my blog for them might be good- especially as I’m reevaluating my content on here as it is. 

With that being said, if you’ve made this far through all my waffling – I want to share two little pieces of joy from the past week or so! 

The first was our little Valentine’s Day celebration. The boys had a half day at school (which was full of parties and card/gift exchanges), so I decided to put together a little something for the afternoon. I told them to work with each other to pick one movie, one of their favorites, while I put together a “little” charcuterie board. Well, the “little” charcuterie board ended up going a bit overboard and we spent all afternoon curled up in the living room eating a variety of cheese, salami, crackers, and fruit while watching Star Wars. I also made a special heart shaped Challah that was topped with pink and red X/O sprinkles and filled with chocolate. We made a total of three loaves, two of which were shared with friends, and enjoyed it all week long! It was a small but very special event for the boys and me. 

The second was a reading challenge I did over the weekend. I’ve done these challenges before- usually a read for 24/48hrs or something along those lines, but this time I had three books that I really wanted to read and wanted to read now. I knew they would all be compulsively readable- as in once I started, I wouldn’t be able to stop before I finished, so I decided to go for it!

And somehow, I managed to read all three in the three-day weekend. I managed to read The Very Secret Society of Irregular Witches by Sangu Mandanna, Radiant Sin by Katee Robert, and Finlay Donovan Knocks ‘Em Dead by Elle Cosimano in 3 days! I surprised myself as this was a challenge, I didn’t know I could succeed at, the kids are one winter recess (which started a day early), I was trying to do a couple of fun things for them a movie night, and two hockey nights, AND I was doing it all solo- just me and the boys. But remember how earlier I talked about how independent and grown and self-engaged they’ve become? It was a real game changer for the weekend.

So that’s it on this chatty little Winter Recess post! Coming up I’ve got my monthly reading wrap up, a Jewish Literature post (that’s been written and waiting for a minute now), and maybe a little royal commentary! 

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My Morning Routine – Updated in 2023

The time has come that I feel like it’s time to do an updated Morning Routine. Some things have changed, some are completely the same from the last morning routine I wrote a couple years back. The biggest change is that I’ve been dealing with chronic pain for the past couple of years. I have been through physical therapy – finished that about a year ago, but the pain is starting to come back again (this is to be expected with what is going on with my back). So, back to the doc, physical therapist, and more I go! Anyway, when I wake up in the morning I don’t know if it’s going to be a mid-pain day or a high pain day, which, as you can imagine, makes a massive difference. I stick to this routine generally, but on a high pain day I tend to take a little longer to get out of bed in the morning. 

Before we really get into this routine, I want to note that a morning routine isn’t a lot without a solid evening routine. I’ll be talking about that in an upcoming blog post. 

So, weekdays my alarm goes off at 6:00AM. During the school year the boys get up around 7:20-7:30AM, and I need to have at least an hour for myself before I go get them up. One of my intentions for this year was to get out of bed when my alarm goes off, which, most of the time I actually do. There are some instances where I don’t, but most morning my alarm goes off and within 5 minutes I’m out of bed. The biggest help for this is some sort of a sunrise alarm clock going off when my alarm on my phone does. I wrote about this in my “magical winter” post HERE, but I found this great alternative on Amazon (which you can find HERE). It’s not a full-on sunrise alarm clock, but it’s working for me for now. 

I’ll put on some sort of calming or inspiring Spotify playlist depending on what mood I’m in/what I need to set myself up for the day. Beyond that I do not look at my phone. I have the Do Not Disturb set on my phone, it goes on at 9:00PM and goes off at 7:00AM. I try not to look at anything on my phone until 7:00AM, with social media/Email/Whatever until 8:00 or 9:00 AM. I just find that if I start my day on my phone, it instantly shifts my mood and mindset- even if it’s just good things I’m seeing. 

I hop out of my bed and will typically start the day with a couple of stretches to get my back moving and loose. My chronic pain is in my back and the biggest thing I can do to help it is to stretch it out first thing. From there I jump in the shower, either just a quick shower or a full on wash my hair, shave, and do all the things. Now, this is where my morning has changed the most- I used to try and do some yoga or a quick cardio blast or something to move my body, but I have found that it just didn’t work for me. I either didn’t do it, and then beat myself up for not doing it, OR I would do it and then rush through everything else I need to absolutely get done before I get the kids up. So, I still do these things, but later in the day. 

Around 6:30-6:45 (depending on the hair wash situation), I’m typically sat in front of my mirror putting on a little bit of makeup and then getting dressed. My wintertime wardrobe is vastly different from my spring/summer (and not just because it’s cold), but I’ve talked about all the wardrobe and clothing things HERE. 

At about 7:00AM, I head downstairs to open up all the blinds and get breakfast started. If you follow along on my social media, you’ll know this part of my routine quite well as it’s one of my favorite things. I start by going into the sunroom and opening up the blinds on our biggest window. During winter it’s still relatively dark, but in the summer the light just floods in. Then I slowly go around to the rest of the windows downstairs opening the blinds, turning lamps on, and creating the cozy morning space. 

Once that is done, I return to the kitchen where I put the kettle on and prep breakfast. It’s simple most morning, bagel for myself, pop tarts or donut holes for the boys. Some mornings I’ll make a breakfast for my husband and myself – breakfast burritos- once the kids are on the bus. When we are able, we typically will have some sort of berry as well. The boys get up around 7:20AM during the school year, get dressed and such, and then come downstairs to eat breakfast. 

Both boys ride the bus to school, and I’ll walk with them down to the bus stop (which is just a couple houses down from ours) and wait with them. Once they’re on the bus, I finish up my tea and visit with Robert. This little chunk of time is meant for chatting and planning. It’s also when I typically will do a little journaling and look at my tasks for the day/map out how I want my day to go. 

I try to have my “day” start at 9:00AM with unloading and putting away the dishes in the kitchen. Then I’ll do the cleaning chores I have set out for the day (I deep clean one section of the house a day, and do a light tidy up the entire house every evening) and finally, around 10:00AM or so I’ll head into the office to get started on my computer tasks for the day. 

And that’s it! It doesn’t really change too much as I’ve found that it really works. I think the biggest game changer to my morning and day is getting up before my kids. Even if it’s just 10 minutes, it makes a difference. 

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A Magical Winter

Winter can be rough. No matter where you are located (at least in the Northern Hemisphere) the days are shorter, they tend to be darker, its colder and we all tend to enter a bit of a hibernation. It’s funny as I never really thought of it that way- but, like many animals, we do tend to hibernate in the winter in some form. Whether that means that we just stay home more, stay inside, or if we actually struggle with a level of depression that tends to be present in those darkest months of Winter. And with that hibernation can come a level of…stagnation. There is so much “staying put” that it envelops us and tends to not only just affect what we do, but also how we think and feel. Seasonal Depression (technically called Seasonal Affective Disorder of SAD, but I’m shortening it for the purposes of this post) is a very real thing and a very common thing. 

How we deal with Seasonal Depression is such a personal thing. For some it requires a level of medication, for others natural remedies, and for some a combination of different things. For me, I’ve found that making an intentional shift to my morning routines, to my outlook, to what I eat and do really helps. 

I don’t know that I had ever dealt with Seasonal Depression prior to our move to Germany. And it wasn’t Germany’s fault that I got it- we just happened to get these super thick foggy weeks (yes weeks, not days) where you couldn’t see past your car hood, and it would just sit. Unmoving. I was driving home one day from playgroup with the boys and the direction my thoughts went was…unheard of for me. It crept up on me and, until my brain cycled through that, I didn’t realize that it was actually Seasonal Depression. 

It wasn’t that I didn’t think I would ever deal with Seasonal Depression, it was that I was such a gloomy day kind of girl. I love a soft rainy day, overcast skies, cooler temps (and by cooler, I mean like 60’s- let’s not go crazy)- all of this spells the perfect day for me. HOWEVER, when you go weeks with this thick unending fog, gloomy gray taking over everything and everywhere…well let’s just say even the gloomiest of weather girl gets out of sorts. And boy, I got way out of sorts. 

I learned a lot that year, about Seasonal Depression, about what works for me and what doesn’t, and then how to prepare and work through it for future years. I will say, I am very blessed in that I deal with this in a very mild way. Most of my issues just are general mood and sleep issues. I’ve found and learned and talked through intentional ways to “trick” myself (which we’ll get into) and make this work for me. However, if you are dealing with Seasonal Depression, it’s always a good idea to talk with a therapist and figure out what works best for you. 

For me, there is a lot of intention that I put in for the winter months. I’m already a “make the mundane magical” kind of person, but this really amps up in the winter (though to be fair it’s really just amped up across the board since coming back to the States). It starts when I wake up in the morning…

One of those things I struggle with in the winter is sleep. I tend to oversleep or have very little energy to actually get up in the morning. As this goes on, I can fall into the trap of becoming a bit of a night recluse, though that tends to come later when the real overstimulation hits. A lot of my morning issues boil down to the fact that there is no light. When I wake up in the morning it’s dark, throughout the day it tends (in our area) to stay very gray, and then all of the sudden it’s dark again before dinner time. Very dark. I’ve been looking at a variety of sunrise alarm clocks, and while I still need to buy an actual one some point in the near future, this year I did get a small light that is movable that I was able to set up as a makeshift sunrise alarm clock. I picked up THIS little light and one of the settings you can program is a sunrise to go off when you’re alarm clock goes off. It’s not quite a sunrise alarm clock as those mimic the sunrise much better, typically over an hour or so, this one cycles through the brightness and colors in about a minute and a half, but it does the trick in a pinch! 

In order to combat the overwhelming urge to just snuggle under and stay in bed, I will give myself 5 minutes post alarm (10 minutes if I’m sick/slept poorly/whatever), then I sit up, turn my actual lamp on, and turn my phone upside down. Since I’m already sitting up, a full light is on, I might as well just get out of bed and get going- mind tricks at their best. My body, my mind, and my soul truly appreciate the extra quiet time in the mornings to prep myself before the kids have to get up. 

Another trick that I play on myself is to properly get ready for the day, even if I’m not going anywhere (this is absolutely not the first time I’ve shared about this phenomenon). This is a twofold situation- the first is that I always feel better when I’m at least a little put together, the second is that if you trick your body and mind into thinking something is happening, you’ll actually make things happen. For me personally, if I stay in sweats all day or pajama clothing, I tend to do very little and, as someone who NEEDS to be at least somewhat productive, this is a problem. So, I pick out an outfit that works for how I’m feeling and then I’ll figure out how to make it work for the weather (as sometimes I just cannot bring myself to wear jeans). Once I get clothes on, throw a little dash of makeup on and fiddle with my hair, I put some soft music on my phone. 

I’m a big music person- it sets the mood, can change the mood, can alter my thoughts and feelings. Most mornings it’s a soft playlist (Romanticize Your Life), a mixture of classical, movie scores, and a couple of songs that just speak to my soul. I will play it through a Bluetooth speaker once I get downstairs and the soft melodies really drift through the downstairs and create a calm, cozy atmosphere.

But, honestly, the most important thing I do for myself in the winter is work on feeling like those little moments, the first cup in the morning, watching yet another snowfall from my backdoor, spending way too much time inside my house, are actually the most magical moments. Really just marveling at what winter DOES offer, rather than what I’m losing when it’s gray for days on end and I can’t always step outside for a long walk in the woods (which I technically could still do, but most of the walking paths aren’t maintained in the winter, so it requires snowshoes and full gear). 

Even though I can’t necessarily go for the walks and fun things that I normally will do with friends when the weather is nice, I try to do other things. I’ll do a brunch charcuterie with a friend, or a reading date, things along those lines (I’m not a big gym go-er so I don’t “go workout” or walk the treadmill- though I have done that). 

I will tell you what I don’t do, or rather what I try to do less…spend time on electronics. I try to limit (as much as I can) my time on social media, my time on shopping websites (which tends to get bad in the winter), and my time watching tv/movies/YouTube. During winter I’ll fall into rabbit holes very quickly and will find myself spending hours rewatching, scrolling, whatever. Then I end up feeling worse than I did before (I know psychologically I am dissociating and all the rest of that, but I really just want to do less psycho analysis this year my goodness). I try to put my phone up at distances while I am doing other things, or just ignore it all together as much as I can. Again, not perfect (as my screen time would confirm), but it is something I tend to try to be more aware of in winter. 

You’ll notice I haven’t said anything about moving my body. It’s true that I’m a big exercise that doesn’t feel like exercise person- think hikes, walks, bike rides, and such, with a little yoga on the side. During winter outdoor walks are…difficult until they end up becoming impossible without fifty million layers. It’s also true that I’m a big believer that moving your body in some way is essential to your mental health (and your physical but you already know that). I try to move my body in some way 3 times a week. Typically, that ends up being yoga, but sometimes I try to throw a little cardio dance workout in there just to get my heartbeat going and the blood truly pumping. But I also don’t push it too much- if it happens then it’s great, if not there is another day to try. I’m always outside walking to and from the bus stop twice a day so there is something every day. 

I’ve written about romanticizing your life HERE and this is just a much bigger expansion of that. Our winter season here tends to be really bad in the January/February/a little of March time period- though I can fake it with March, pretending like Spring is coming (though it doesn’t here until late May), so I really focus on myself, my mood, and the little things during those times. It doesn’t always work, I still have rough days, but I find that it HELPS. And honestly, I’ll take any help I can get. 

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2022 – A Year in Review

Whew- 2022 is coming to a rapid end. Does anyone else just feel like…where did this year go? It can’t just be me, honest it can’t. I feel like this year has just flown by. 

The New Year is funny as I celebrate the Jewish New Year and it’s always, historically been when I feel like it’s a new year…but then I celebrate and wrap up with the English calendar. So, most of my thoughts and goals have already been stated possibly, though I have a bit of a firmer attitude at this point. 

2022 was…notable and yet not notable. I learned some things about myself, my relationships, and others that really shaped my thoughts and life moving forward. I’ve alluded to this before, but there have been some real ups and downs over the past year. Nothing terrible, but just…reminding myself of lessons I’ve learned prior to this. 

I’ve learned that jealousy from others is a very real thing and that there is nothing that you can do about it- maybe even more so when it’s about aspects that you can’t really…help. I’ve learned that as much as you might love something, if it’s toxic you have to lesson your involvement. I’ve been reminded that once you remove certain people and situations from your life you remember what life is. 

I’ve had to relearn and remind myself what sticking firm to my boundaries looks like. I’ve had to remind myself that there are shades to boundaries (remember THIS post?). I’ve had to have conversations with my children that I hadn’t expected to have yet- and I’ve said, “this is a conversation we aren’t quite ready for, but if you have any questions, please ask them”, several times. 

But I’ve had so many good times in 2022. I’ve re discovered and reminded myself who I am, the beauty and excitement and magic of the little moments I’ve found joy, happiness, and magic in the little in between moments, in the mundane daily tasks, in the tiny touches nobody notices (until they do). We’ve traveled quite a bit- NYC, Niagara, Mackinac, Toronto, Montreal, North Creek for the Autumn Leaves, and Letchworth for our Camper Trip. Our older baby “graduated” Kindergarten ahead of grade level, and our youngest started Kindergarten strong ending 2022 with an award! 

When I sat down to figure out my word of the year back during Rosh Hashanah (post HERE), I really took the time to think about what I wanted to welcome in my life in the new year. It sounds ridiculous but I really want to choose a word wisely. I don’t know it’s just important to me, but it is and this year I kind of struggled. Eventually it just came to me…

Simcha – the Hebrew word for Joy. That’s what I wanted. That was all I wanted. Joy in everything. And to be honest, I think I’ve found it. It’s funny because I picked “Simcha” because that’s what I wanted, but it’s what I had been finding for several months. I had been reminding myself what joy in everything looked like. And I feel like I’ve brought it to life, both in myself and in my family. And I’m excited to see what is coming in 2023 and my Jewish New Year has already been going SO WELL. 

What else do I want in 2023? Well, not a whole lot. I think this year is the year that I don’t have a lot of goals- every year I’ve said that I want to complete a few personal projects, and this still stands, but I don’t have a timeline for those. I started back on my podcast, and I want to continue that, I want to take on a bit more volunteer work and do more within my community. But I also want to recognize that 2023 is going to be a toucher one for us and I want to be flexible to work around the year ahead. 

I hope that everyone has a wonderful start to the New Year! Let me know if you do a word of the year, if so, what is it? Do you have any goals for the new year? 

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Boundaries – A Holiday Moment

Oh, Holiday Season- the time of year has finally descended upon us, and we greet either two ways…or a mixture of both. We either have excitement for the coming holidays, the family time, the vacations we are bound to take, OR it’s a feeling of at best reluctance at worst outright dread. 

It’s the time of year a lot of posts start to circulate about “maintaining boundaries” and that whoever doesn’t respect your boundaries can get out, and empowerment, and such. 

And those are all very important. It IS important to set boundaries, not only for yourself but for others. And boundaries are for EVERYONE not only for those who may have strained or toxic relationships. And boundaries look DIFFERENT from person to person, relationship to relationship. 

And while we see posts about setting boundaries, maintaining boundaries, we don’t really see many posts about the realities of boundaries. We don’t see posts about how complicated this can become, how boundaries being disrespected isn’t always black and white (though we wish it was), and that sometimes hope for something better can change boundary limits. 

Because while we can cut someone out of our lives who disrespects a boundary, and I know plenty who do, and there is nothing wrong with that, it’s not always that simple in some instances. Sometimes it’s more being firm in your boundary, reaffirming it, and then moving forward. 

I’m speaking from a recent personal experience where I was very much reminded that I can do the work, I can set my own boundaries, verbalize them, work independently on myself to ensure that relationships with a high number of boundaries will work for me in a way that does not harm me, and have someone steamroll through that with a smile. It was a rude reminder that not everyone will respect, acknowledge, or believe in the work that you put in to make a relationship work all around.

Now you might be wondering from the above recent experience, why not just cut this individual off? And this is where I say it’s not always black and white. I have worked hard on myself and what I need my boundaries to be in this relationship to ensure that others can have a relationship, as others do. And I am OK with that. I have a hard line that, if crossed, the relationship will cease, but when working on boundaries I find that sometimes it’s better, for both parties, to reaffirm the boundary. 

This is why I feel like posts talking about boundaries tend to be lacking. It’s not black and white, it’s not across the board, it’s not the same thing for every person. Boundaries are so important, but it’s equally important to recognize where/what/how people choose to use those boundaries. Yes, crossing a boundary is disrespectful and wrong, but the decision on what you do when that happens can only come from you. 

So, while this is an excellent time of year to check in with yourself and your boundaries, and all those posts (and this one) might be a great affirming reminder for you to do that…remember that those boundaries are YOURS and you choose how implementing them works for you. 

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A Week of Rest, Relaxation and Re Charging

What a month October was. I don’t know if it was for anyone else, but man it was just a lot. Here’s the thing- it wasn’t even that bad of a month really. I think it was just a lot of things happening at once. Aside from that first long weekend, my husband was in and out most of the month with work, we were finishing up our Autumn sports, I was planning one event the full month, and wound up helping plan another one last minute, there was a whole lot of Jew Hatred going around (along with all the regular hatred), along with just some regular volunteering that I do, being a mom, wife, homemaker etc. By the end of the month/beginning of November I was completely strung out. Like I said, nothing bad, it was just a lot of things at once.

Not only did I feel strung out and just exhausted, but I also started to feel a lack of…creativity? I’m not sure if that’s the best term, it was more so just the lack of desire to create anything. Whether that was social media stuff, or blog posts, or really anything. I just needed a minute to pause.

So, I decided last week that I was going to do that. I was going to take a week, do very little, and just focus on doing the things that I know helps me feel better. It’s little things, like the tidying the house, scrubbing up the kitchen and such, doing a puzzle, reading a book. I vowed to just lay low. I wanted to take the pressure off of everything and just…relax. 

It was nice. I didn’t realize how far down the rabbit hole I had gone in doing all the things all myself until I stopped. After the first couple of days, I already felt so much more like myself and just much more relaxed. I think that sometimes it’s really good to be able to take a step back and just take a day or two to ourselves. Often times that’s all we really need to do- take a day or two to take care of ourselves and our mental health. 

My week of rest/relaxation/recharge ended up having to change halfway through due to a sick kiddo, but I found that even just having those couple of days made a world of difference in myself. And I was still able to finish out my goal of the week while tending to a child (who I was a much better mother to just having those couple of low-key days). 

And now, going into this new week I feel much more open to what is to come. I have a renewed sense of self, a renewed outlook, and a small amount of creativity seeping back into myself. 

At the end of all this, I feel like this is a bit silly. It’s a funny thing mental health (not really) and it’s a funny thing when you logically know that there is so much more going on in the world. Things could always be worse as the saying goes. But I know that as silly and trivial and ridiculous it might seem, that I was at the edge of a very long, very frayed rope and I needed…something. I needed to not be needed for just a few minutes, to feel like everything was done and handled and I could go off into my “den” for just a few days and hibernate. 

Yea, I mixed a whole bunch of nonsense in there, which is typically a sign to sign off.  I have a couple of low-key things planned for the rest of November, as well as a dream resurfacing. Tell me, what do you do when you’re at the end of your very long, very frayed rope? What is the thing to bring you back?

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As Summer Fades Into Autumn

Alternatively titled: Life Lately…

For me, Autumn starts on September 1. I’m not sure when/why I’ve picked this date, but it’s just always been there. It might have something to do with school schedules (and being on the East Coast where school does not start until after Labor Day has only solidified this) or it might be because no matter where we have lived, August has always been the worst with heat/humidity/bugs. Whatever the reason, for me “Autumn” begins tomorrow. And wow am I ready for Autumn. 

This Autumn marks a time of change, most notably that both my boys will be in school all day every day. I’ll have an empty house during the day for the first time in 6 years. It seems a bit surreal to me to be honest. Definitely a little bittersweet. As ready as we all are (and believe me, we are READY), it’s still a bit sad to think that my baby-est of boys, my little mama’s boy, is off to school. Luckily, I am volunteering within the PTO and school again so he won’t be far and the chances of me seeing him throughout the year and during the school day are high. He also attended the KinderCamp prior to school getting started and he did so well, loved every minute, and it very much added to his excitement of the start of school. 

In reality, there are a lot of other changes coming down the pipeline as Summer turns to Autumn, most of which I won’t be talking about, but it just feels like such a transition period- more so than in the past. 

I started out Summer with big plans- I wanted to journal with the kids every morning, we had an idea to our days, I had plans to only be here and there for little bits, while taking most of the time to really be present with the boys. And yet, while some of that happened, a lot of it didn’t. We went on our Summer Holiday, which was great and loved every minute, but then once we came back it was a rush to get back settled again, to get self imposed deadlines down, to re create those perfect day to days that I had dreamed, to then only throw them out the window- create playdates out of nowhere, and then strive to balance all the things I wanted to accomplish. It felt very…un summer like and definitely not like previous summers. I’m not sure what was so different, maybe it’s because this Autumn will be so different, but it just felt very short, very rushed, and very…unsatisfactory. But that’s life sometimes. 

Like Summer (you would think I would have learned, but no), I have big plans for Autumn and Winter. I’ve created a sort of overview of dates and timelines (again mostly self-imposed) that I’d like to meet and I feel like I’ll actually be able to do it. The big things are continuing regular blog posts (maybe some exciting new ones- anything you’d like to see more of?), starting up the podcast, and editing my book.

How was your Summer? What big plans do you have for the changing season?

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On Spring/Summer Style

You know, I wouldn’t call myself “stylish”. Or maybe I would (on a good day I would probably say that I have a sense of classic style, on a bad day…well who knows). Really though I wouldn’t say that I am a person that people look to for style advice, tips, or what is “trendy”. HOWEVER, what I will say is that I know what I’m comfortable in and I know what tends to look good on me- which, in my opinion is what style/personal style is actually about.  I never really thought I would right a post on style, but I seem to do just that every year (sometimes twice a year!). 

My style has evolved over the years, as I think everybody’s does over time. On the whole things have stayed the same- I love a good pair of jeans with a tee or sweater and that will never change. I love a dress in the spring/summer or when the occasion calls for it. I go on and off with screen print anything though- has to be the biggest thing that changes haha. However, I think I’ve settled into what I think works for me, between what looks good, what looks comfortable, and what fits my overall…personality/aesthetic for life. 

So…all that to say…I’m living my best cottage core/European Countryside dress life and I’ll never go back. 

It all started maybe a year or two ago when I purchased the above black and white polka dot dress from Old Navy (fun fact- most of these dresses are from Old Navy). It was so comfortable, I felt so good in it, and it flatters any shape, even my petite one. I’ve always loved the flowy dresses, but it’s hard to find ones that flatter, without adding. That dress was quickly followed by a black floral dress, and then a blue and white striped dress (which is a die hard favorite- will wear every chance I can). I still would purchase the short, cute dresses too, there was/is/always will be a variety to the dress game in my closet, but the main theme over all of it is English countryside/European Summer/Cottage Core. 

This year I’ve well and truly fleshed out my spring/summer wardrobe. It’s 80% dresses, 10% shorts/teas and 10% skirts. I wear the shorts the least (though mostly just because the shorts that look good on me personally tend to be the daisy duke style and as I get older/my kids get older I tend to feel less and less comfortable in that). The thing that I love the most about the dresses is that you can be flowy and soft, or short sweet (and sexy). I really can dress for my mood and all of them will work with the weather (aka all options for hot and sweaty days). 

This all shifts (obviously) come Autumn/Winter when I gravitate back to jeans, with scarves, sweaters, and other oversized long sleeved tops (you could say it’s an academia/dark academia style aesthetic), but we’ll talk about that come Autumn. 

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