Let’s Talk About Insecurities : A Two Part Challenge Pt 2

Last week I posted about my insecurities. I shared what I thought insecurities were, as well as what my own insecurities are. I encouraged you to share your own insecurities. Today, I want to talk about overcoming, or dealing with, those insecurities.

If you would like to recap the Challenge post, you can do so HERE.

I’ve always been pretty open about when I’m feeling low, or when I’m struggling with my insecurities. I feel like that is the best way to deal with those feelings, not in a way for people to comment building you up or shower you will compliments, but in that you can hear from others who may have the same insecurities. Or those who have had those insecurities and have found a way to work through them.

I don’t have the answer of how to overcome them, because I don’t know that is necessarily a “right” way to do it. I feel like we are always going to have moments of insecurity. We are all going to stumble at a time, have that little voice whispering in the back of our head. Rather than “overcoming” the insecurity, we need to find a way forward. A way of saying yea that isn’t my favorite feature or my favorite feeling, but I am still over here doing my thing, feeling great, living my life to it’s fullest.

Two of my biggest insecurities, my white legs and my hips/belly. For a long time I wouldn’t wear certain clothes because I was worried about it and actually for a long time I’ve gotten comments about my legs being so white. This may sound silly and you may be wondering why I don’t go do a fake tan or something along those lines- believe me I’ve tried. And to be honest, I’ve reached a point that I really just don’t care. It wasn’t overnight and it wasn’t something quick. It was just a process of wondering why I cared so much over my legs.

Am I still insecure about them at times? Sure, but the more that I put “my legs” on display, the more I wore dresses, shorts, and such, the better I started to feel.

And I honestly think that is how we have to handle our insecurities. We have to confront them head on, show the bits that we are worried about, confront the things that we are unsure of, and the more we do that, the better we start to feel. We have to talk about what we are insecure about, sharing it already lessens some of that fear, and then figure out what we can do to become more comfortable with our insecurities.

For me, that means wearing dresses/skirts/shorts, putting my hair up in a bun more, and being a little bit freer about my hips. I do love my body and I can say right now I’ve never felt better in my own skin. I wear what I love and feel good in, whether I may feel a little more uncomfortable or not. After an hour or so I’m so wrapped up in whatever we are doing that how I look starts to fade away.

It also means jumping headfirst into things that I worry about. If there is a post that I worry about that typically mean that I am on the right track and need to simply hit post. In fact, if there is a post that I am insecure or worried about, I will typically write it and then schedule for a date in the future. By scheduling it I am less likely to go back in and remove it and it is also just not sitting on my desktop with me worrying about it. I just do it and get it done and then try my hardest not to think about it.

So, what can you do to put your insecurity out there? To get more comfortable about area’s that you are uncomfortable with? Leave a comment below to tell me what you will do to answer the Insecurity Challenge.

Let’s Talk Insecurities – A Two Part Challenge : Part 1

Insecurity. We all deal with it. Insecurities. We all have them. Some of us deal with more insecurities than others. They manifest in different area’s of our lives, in different ways, and we all react to them and deal with them differently. I’m a fairly confident and self assured person and I have plenty of them. I know many others deal with them as well. I want to talk about insecurities, delve into them a little- share what my insecurities are and how I deal with them.

I’m thinking this is going to be a two part post and I hope that you will come along on this and participate as well. I think we can all learn from each other, in coping, in feeling better about ourselves and I think even just hearing that someone deals with the same insecurity helps.

This is the first part.

Insecurities is one of those things that we either talk about or don’t talk about. Sometimes giving a voice, words, saying our fears out loud can help. Sometimes it doesn’t. In this first part we are going to talk about our insecurities. I am going to share the parts of myself, both physical and non, that I am insecure about.

Let me be clear- I do not want compliments, I do not want to hear about how it’s silly or anything like that. I am not putting this out there to ask for compliments. I am putting this out there to work on dealing with the insecurity itself. To help others who may be experiencing the same thing or have some of the same insecurities. To be in a space where others can open up and share their insecurities as well in a safe and productive way.

So, let’s get down to the hard part, shall we?

Physical Insecurity

I think the hardest insecurities to deal with can be the one’s concerning our bodies. Sure, we can fix some of them, but some are just DNA or beyond our control and there isn’t much we can do with them. They also seem to be the one’s that we, as a society, fixate on (which is a topic for a whole separate post). In a physical sense I am insecure about my eyebrows (random, I know), my teeth, my really white legs that do not hold a tan (at all, seriously), and my hips/belly area. When I gain weight, I gain it in my hips and belly. One other thing that I do get a little self conscious about (more so than an actual insecurity) is the fact that I am petite. Since I am petite, people often feel like it is more “acceptable” to comment on my body and while none of it is bad, it’s still isn’t right and it can make me a bit insecure at times.

Other Insecurities

Insecurity is not just physical, you can feel a lack of confidence in other area’s as well. For example, I am uncertain at times if I am doing the right thing for my children. Questioning whether are not I am being a good mom. Whether are not I am being to like my parents, and not better.  I am uncertain at times if I am doing the best thing for myself and my family. I face self doubt from time to time , probably more than I have ever admitted to before, where my blogging/social media and sharing is concerned.

I would like to hear about your insecurities (if you are up to sharing, you do not have to if you do not want to). I feel like just talking about the things that we are insecure about that already can take some of the weight off of our shoulders. The next part of this challenge will be to figure how to work through the insecurities, how to push them aside, or recognize when we are letting them control our everyday.

A Ramble on: Confidence

Ever see those people who seemingly just don’t care what people think? Who go about life so self assured and comfortable with who they are? Wonder what they were doing to get to that point?

They weren’t always that way. 

Confidence is something that is gained as you grow into yourself. And as you face new experiences, new life moments, new risks you grow more confident in yourself. And better yet, those people that you think are just so self confident, still have moments of insecurity. You can also be confident in some areas of your life, and not so confident in other areas. You can be solid in yourself, but maybe a new change has happened to cause that confidence to waver.

Sometimes it just takes some time to get to (or get back to) that moment of “I know who I am, I know what I believe, and who cares what others think of me”. Because with confidence comes a freeing moment of not caring. Of letting go of what others think of you. Of saying, who gives a damn.

For me, I started to feel really good about myself just after High School (aka just as I fully hit my stride in recovery). I thought I knew what I wanted in life, how I was going to achieve what I wanted, and who I was. I met my husband, and things really started to click in place even more. Then we had our first boy. While something in me clicked when I became a mother, my confidence in myself was still a little shaken. My confidence in my ability to do everything that I wanted to do. To be a good wife, a good mom, a good person. To manage all the things. 

Then, I hit my stride again and became confident as a new mom. I got everything down and my confidence was on the upswing and we had our second boy. Instead of my confidence wavering, I knew. I believe in myself. I was confident in myself, my choices, in every aspect relating to being myself. 

Something to remember: Even when you have that self confidence, when you have that process of letting go what people think of you, there are still moments. Moments where you question yourself. Moments where you wonder, what do people think about you. 

But trust in the process. Trust in yourself. Trust in the fact that when you get through whatever has caused that wavering, that that will just be one more thing to have overcome. You’ll come out the other end more confident and having learned something new about yourself. 

I’m glad that I can say that I am finally, 100%, at that point. I have found my voice. I have found the confidence in myself, in what I believe, in what I am doing that I can say that there is not much that can tear me down. That took a lot of work to get to and you better believe I am not letting go of that any time soon. Do I still have moments of weakness, of caring what people think of me? Kind of. It’s hard for me to say that I will never question myself, but I have reached a point in my life where there are just so many other things to do and think about.