Real Talk : Priorities and Prioritizing

Whether you are a Stay At Home Mom, a Student, a Business Owner, or the Head of a Corporation, we all have a running to do list. A list of things that we have to accomplish or we will not reach our goals. Sometimes that list grows longer and longer and it starts to feel never ending. Some days we feel like we don’t cross anything off, or like there is no way to get it all done. Some days we experience that self doubt of “Can I really do/handle it all?”.

As I said on Monday, there is no such thing as “doing it all”. It is simply not realistic. You can come close, but there is always a sacrifice somewhere. If we can’t “do it all” we have to know what we want to do. What is most important in our day to day. So how do we do that?

The first step is figuring out what is important to you and in what order do those items fall into. For me, being a Wife and then a Mom are my top two most important things. I will choose those two over anything else. Example, if my children are sick and they need my full attention, everything gets shelved for that day. Same with my Husband. The rest of the list falls into line with my business/blog, my job, then myself. I put myself towards the bottom of the list only because I know that if I start to feel burnt out or need a little breather I will take that. Once you have this narrowed down, it is easier to look at your day to day to do list and see what you will need to prioritize for the day.

The second step of prioritizing is saying No. Prioritizing gives you is an easier way to say “NO”. Sometimes we simply cannot do something, but we feel like we have to say yes. There is such a pressure put on us, especially women and especially mothers, that we have to say yes to everything, do everything, and look good doing it (although that’s certainly a topic for another post). I will repeat myself, IT IS NOT POSSIBLE. Wouldn’t you rather spend your time doing things and being with people that are important to you, rather than giving an attempt at balancing a whole bunch of other things that you don’t really truly care about? Say no. If it is going to throw your priority list out of whack, or it doesn’t fit in with your list, and you don’t absolutely have to do it (i.e. a job or task for work), say no.

What are your priorities and how do you prioritize to make sure you feel like you are handling everything you want to handle?

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30 Day Challenge – Half Point Check In!

It’s been about 2 weeks when I took a *mostly* Sugar Free 30 Day Challenge. You can read that post HERE. I’m about halfway through the month and I figured I would give a little update as to how it is going!

So my end goal was to do a complete re set of my body when it comes to sugar. I found myself eating a lot of candy and junk and I wanted to quite with that. Now, sugar is in a lot of items, and our body sugars are controlled by a lot of different food groups (carbs is a big one), so I decided to narrow down the idea of Sugar Free.

I’ve only cut out what I would call “junk” sugar, so candy, soda, cookies, etc. The only “treat” that falls into that category I’ve allowed myself is Banana Chocolate Chip Muffins. This was a great alternative as the sugar in the muffiins is from the chocolate chips (only ½ cup for the whole batch), honey (instead of straight sugar), and the banana itself. This is a great alternative and I’ve found that it satisfies the whole sugar craving.

I don’t normally have much of a sweet tooth, so for the most part cutting out candy and soda hasn’t been too bad. I’ve also preferred salty over sweet, but I’ve noticed that once I start eating candy, I don’t stop. Hence the 30 day challenge (again, check that blog post out, it goes into more detail).

I’ve only had one issue and that is a self made one. There are a brand of wafers out there that I absolutely love (and eat way too many of), but as of now I’ve only found them at World Market and on Amazon. I figured that would be my treat for getting through the month Sugar Free. I would head over to World Market, pick up a bag and enjoy them over the first few weeks in October (being diligent about portion control). Well…my mom was in town and we went to World Market her last morning. Those wafers are now sitting in my fridge taunting me…I can do it though! I am stronger than the wafers 😉

Otherwise, I have noticed a shift in myself. I’m not as groggy and sluggish and not as low energy as I was before. I’m not saying this is only because of the Sugar Free, but I do think that what we eat plays a large role in how we feel, mentally and physically, and when we cut out those junk items it makes a big difference. If you think about it, when you cut junk foods out of your diet and you start to physically and mentally feel better, you start to exercise, get out of the house, be active more because you have the energy to do that.

Basically, challenge is going really well! I’m sticking to what I wanted to accomplish and I’m super proud of that!

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“Do It All and Look Good Doing It”

**I don’t honestly know if I’ve done a post on this before, but I feel like it really feels right to talk about right now***

***Oh, also I feel like the next few posts are going to all basically be somewhat of the same message, phrased differently. Maybe. Just a possibility. So, there’s that heads up for you***

Ah fall. The best time of year. September. Busy times are ahead for everyone. I feel like as much as well all LOVE fall, it’s also one of the busiest times of year in any life. Whether you are a mom with kids going back to school, an employee, business owner, student, whatever it is- fall can be hectic. We find ourselves ending any summer holidays, trying to get into that routine again and before too long the winter holidays come and it’s time to start that holiday shopping. Yes, it goes by that fast!

With all of the things going on, it is super easy to fall into the trap of feeling that “do it all & look good” feeling. There is such a pressure, on really anyone, but I find it mostly applies to women and mothers, of needing to be able to do everything with a smile on your face and heels on your feet. Not only are we pressured to be able to do everything, but also to keep ourselves looking in tip top shape. To be quite blunt…eff that.

We cannot do everything, and yet we sacrifice things to still try and do that. WHY?! Why can we not take a step back and really look at what we are missing out on? What are we actually missing out on? Why do we have such a hard time saying no? Why are we constantly pushing ourselves past our limits? For what? We get such a pressure, both from ourselves and from others (who may not even realize they are doing it) and it can make things so much harder.

Life is short and we only get one chance to really live it. Do we want to spend our lives running in a race against ourselves to get to the next thing, to cross all the t’s and dot all the I’s? OR do we want to stop every once in a while and enjoy what we have. Enjoy time with those who are in our lives. It is up to us to make that determination and up to us to put our feet down and say I don’t want to “do it all”. I don’t want to live my life this way. In this endless cycle.

I will say, I take the time to make myself look good in the mornings because it makes me feel good. I take the time to spend time with my husband and children because I love them and I cherish our times together. I take the time to write, to read, to enjoy my cup of tea. I take the time because that is what is important to me. That’s not to say that I don’t fall into that trap of “I need to be doing all of the things”. When I feel that start to happen I take a second to kind of check myself. To remind myself what is important to me. My husband. My family. What do I want and what do I find important right now.

In the next week or so, I am going to talk about the burning question that I get from everyone, as well as how I handle this pressure of checking off every item of my to do list. As well as the constant need to just be doing all of the things all of the time and look good while doing them.

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A Little 30 Day Challenge for September

If you’ve been around for a little while you’ll know two things about when it comes to food: 1. I have been in recovery for Anorexia for   years and 2. I believe that how we fuel and treat our body directly relates to how we feel, act, and do. I’m a big believer in what we put in our body translates to what comes out of our body (and not just in an input = output in the bathroom). Making choices to eat healthier, eat a more balanced diet, and being mindful of how we “treat ourselves” when it comes to food is such a big part of life. I’ve personal noticed a change in my attitude, my productivity, my day to day when I eat better versus when I eat junk foods. Which is why I’ve decided to challenge myself for the whole of September. 

A little backstory for August to get us started…

Vacation and travel has always been one of those “throw aways” when it comes to eating. We all are guilty of indulging when we are on vacation and when you are traveling to and from vacation, it is hard to find those perfect snacks that meat all the travel criteria. It often just becomes a time for us to just throw caution to the wind and eat all the bad things we wouldn’t normally eat. There is NOTHING wrong with this. 

Where it becomes wrong is when we get back from vacation. When the time comes to get back to healthy eating, making good food choices, and getting back into routines. It is so easy to just let those bad habits continue on as “treat” moments and then next thing you’ve gone down the full rabbit hole into eating bad all the time. 

I’m totally guilty of this and have no shame in admitting that I’ve been eating a little too much junk food since we came back from vacation. So, to get out of the junk food hole I’m going to do a little September challenge. I’ve found Sugar to be my main problem, so…drumroll please…I’m going to go mostly sugar free for all of September. 

When I say sugar free I mean no candy, no soda, no artificial sugars of any kind. I am going to try and stick to the following “sugar” sources: fruit, honey (for baking), and a chocolate chip here and there for when I bake. 

I don’t think this will be too bad as I’ve been taking a couple small steps over the past week or so to cut back on the sugary treats that I’ve been consuming. The only bits that are left to cut out are Soda and Sour Patch Kids. I really think that kicking this out for a month will give me a chance to re set myself, so that I won’t chug it all down when/if I do decide to eat candy or drink a Soda again. 

At this point, I don’t plan on making this a permanent change, but rather one to get myself back to a good place with my “junk” food consumption. I want to be back to a soda once a week (if that) as well as having some sort of candy in a small small portion once a week (rather than a whole bunch everyday). If at the end of September I feel like I don’t want any of it anymore, then that’s fine too. 

I’ll be posting my progress on Social Media, as well as doing a mid month check in post and an end of month wrap up.

I would love for you to join me in this challenge! Are you up for it? 

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Dealing With Forgiveness

Forgiveness is one of those tricky things to figure out and incredibly hard to do. A lot of times, to forgive is to give up a lot of bottled up emotion, to open yourself to feeling that emotion and then letting it be “free”. That is hard. Without even realizing it, we can become dependent on that bottled up emotion and use it as an excuse to other issues that we may have. We fall into a trap of holding on to emotions, to bitter experiences, toxic relationships or people, and letting that dictate our future. 

It is hard to believe how much our past experiences can play into our future decisions and life. Well, maybe not that hard to believe when you think that everything we have gone through as an individual makes us who we are. Every decision, conversation, experience, person we interact with, plays into shaping who we are. When we have a negative experience, or experience a level of trauma caused by another person, that leaves a whole pot of emotions that then factor into everything else.

Forgiveness is essential to healing, to moving forward, to letting go of those emotions that cloud our future. This doesn’t have to apply to any major trauma or event (although it quite often does), this can honestly just be forgiving someone of a mistake they made or for what they said when they had an off day. Without forgiveness, those emotions (and that person) hold power over you. You may or may not realize it, but it is there. It factors in to every decision you make, and you’ll see that one day. 

However, how do you forgive someone who never “admits” to what they have done to you? Never recognizes the harm? Never even gives a thought to what happened or how it affected you?

Sure, in a perfect world, this would never happen. And we can all sit and say, “If I’m wrong, I’m wrong and I’ll own that” and while most of us would, not all would. When you are trying to cope with something that has happened to you, and the person who did it doesn’t even recognize or admit to it, it takes a different kind of forgiveness to occur. That forgiveness is truly for yourself. It truly says that you are ready to move forward, to free those emotions, to free yourself from your past. You aren’t doing it for anyone else, because in these instances, there isn’t anyone else to do it for. 

At its core, forgiveness is for the person doing the forgiving, NOT for the person being forgiven. This is so so so important to remember. When you are working through your own hurt and trying to move forward, that is for YOU. It is not for anyone else and when you are at that point of forgiveness, you need to be sure that YOU are ready to forgive. To let loose those emotions. To truly be free. Not because someone is pressuring you, not because you feel like you have to do it. 

Forgiveness is more than just saying “I forgive you”. It is more than just uttering words to yourself or someone else. It is a promise to yourself to let go of what happened. To let go of the emotions attached to whatever it was. When you are ready to forgive, you are truly saying, I am done. I let go of what happened. I let go of my feelings around what happened. I am letting go of what happened. 

Forgiving does not mean that it didn’t happen. It does not mean that you be perfectly healed. It does not mean that you will never remember or never have flashbacks. It does mean that you are ready to take that next step in healing. That you are ready to lose the chains that have weighed you down. 

For me, forgiveness came naturally once I took stock of where I was at in life. I had realized that what was done to me was not done out of hatred. It was done because that person simply did not know better. That person loved me, still does love me, and they simply did not know any other way to be. Forgiveness became my way of taking back my life. Freeing myself from what I was, where I was going, who I was turning into. I didn’t say anything to that person, I didn’t feel like I needed to. At the end of the day, I did it for me and I was the only one that needed to do it. 

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Friday Morning Cups

5198051616_IMG_3835.JPGSo, I’ve never posted a picture like this. It’s not in my comfort range of things to share. My body isn’t perfect (hello DR stomach that will never be normal again), but I’m OK with it. I’ve had two sweet babies and my body has proved itself again and again.

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I’m constantly told that I’m so lucky to be the size that I am. That folks would love to be my size. If I could profit off of everybody that told me how lucky I am, how they wished for my size, what am I doing, how do I eat, and the worst- I must not eat anything at all (which as a recovering anorexic is just lovely to hear 🙄), I would be a rich person. I hear constantly that I shouldn’t complain about this or that because overall I’m petite.

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Let me tell you something- just because I’m a smaller size doesn’t mean anything. I’m a fairly confident person and don’t often have moments of insecurity, but there are times that I feel iffy about my body. I work out regularly, I make sure that I fuel my body appropriately (and that doesn’t mean I don’t eat popcorn or candy every once in a while), and I have been blessed with some good genes. I am well aware of my size and how that is viewed, but newsflash, I still have my moments.

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Body confidence, body positivity, body issues are across the board. It doesn’t matter what your size or shape is, everyone is entitled to (and will probably at some point) feel insecure. And when someone is feeling insecure, we shouldn’t invalidate their feelings by telling them they shouldn’t feel that way because guess what…insecurity hits everyone. We are all beautiful, but we all have our moments. Let’s recognize that, cut the crap comments, and be supportive.

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The Busy Gal’s Guide to Meal Prep : Guest Post Featuring Kelsey from AdventuringKelsey!

Entrepreneurs, diligent moms, and workforce women alike all have one thing in common. We want to be efficient with the time we have. We want to spend the least amount of time on chores, errands, and those annoying work tasks that always end up following us home, and the most amount of time with friends, family, and a glass of red wine (give or take on your preferences).

I am a teacher, and from the day I began my career I knew that meal prepping was what I needed in my life to ensure that extra time to spend on the things that I enjoy. Being a person who purses a healthy lifestyle, meal prepping has become very beneficial to my way of living. I can hear you now, “You’re telling me to take 3-4 hours out of my sweet weekend to plan and cook food?” Heck yeah I am. I totally get it. I know the feeling of the weekend being too short. But don’t you feel like week nights are even shorter?! Why not have an extra hour of time each night to spend playing with your kids, cuddling your fur baby, or catching up on your Netflix shows while still having a delicious dinner prepped and ready to go? I know that hour provides me with endless possibilities and it feels FABULOUS.

Let me provide you with a few tips to get you started on this journey. Trust me. You won’t regret a minute of it.

  1. Planning

It all starts with a plan. There are two different directions you can go with this. If you are a person who is trying to lose weight or watch what you eat, I suggest doing your planning on the app, MyFitnessPal. This is what I personally use because I can plan out each meal, log it in, and see how much I am consuming in a day. It helps to make sure I’m not eating too much, but that I’m also not eating too little. If watching what you eat does not matter to you, I’d suggest either writing your plan down on a notepad, or downloading a meal planner printable. There are so many free ones out there! After you have everything planned out, make your grocery list. I even go to the lengths of making sure I write down how much of each item I need. That way it won’t be necessary to make extra trips to the store throughout the week.

  1. The Cooking Process

Start by thinking through what you are prepping. What’s going to take the longest amount of time? Can you multitask by baking your chicken while you chop up the veggies? This one takes some working through, practice, and simply just experience. I won’t lie to you, when I first started prepping it would take me anywhere from 4-5 hours. I’ve gotten it down to a science now where food is cooked up, packed up, and the kitchen is cleaned up within 2 hours. But that’s because I figured out what works for me and the meals I typically prepare (I’m not one to expand my horizons with meals often). If something can bake while I work on preparing another item, that’s the first thing I pop in the oven. If prepping my lunch is going to be quicker than my breakfast, I start with the lunch. Think your meals through, and just know it’s going to take some time to get used to.

  1. 0553CED0-1C9C-4401-B5D1-76D6F7C9F213.JPGPrep it ALL!

It may sound tedious. But seriously, prep it all. The granola you’re going to put on your yogurt? Portion it out and put it in a baggie or small Tupperware. The spinach, banana, and berries you’re putting in your smoothie? Put them in a Ziploc and toss that in the freezer. You won’t regret it when your workout ran longer than expected in the morning and you don’t have time to measure out and toss every ingredient in the blender. You especially won’t regret it when you’re packing your lunch for the next day and can barely see straight from exhaustion. It’s SO convenient to just be able to grab things and go! It’s really nice when you know it’s healthy and that YOU prepared it. It’ll make you feel a lot better than that Egg McMuffin you picked up at the drive thru because you were out of time. Trust me on this one.

Processed with VSCO with f2 presetI get it. I know it sounds like a lot. And I’m not going to lie to you, at first it will be. But once you get in a routine you will never regret spending a couple hours of your weekend preparing your meals for the week. Heck you don’t even have to prep all of them at first, or ever. If you enjoy cooking dinner for your family each night, don’t give that up. Just prep your lunch instead so you have something you can grab quick before heading off to work. Or maybe mornings are just really hard for you and you don’t want to have to think about your breakfast in the morning. Spend 30 minutes on Sunday getting those breakfasts ready, and grabbing them will be like second nature.

Happy Prepping!

Kelsey

The Gal behind Adventuring Kelsey

www.adventuringkelsey.com

@adventuringkelsey

Loves collaborating with other exciting women!

 

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Summer Vacation 2018 : Canada

We started a tradition last year that every year we would take one week in the summer to go somewhere we’ve never been, rent a cabin on a lake (preferably, but just a cabin works too), and disconnect. Somewhere without phone service, somewhat secluded, where we can focus solely on each other and ourselves. Last year we went to Maine and it was a whopping success. This year we decided to take it one step further and head out of the country and up to Canada. It did not disappoint. 

We decided at the outset of this trip that we were going to travel “easy”. We weren’t going to rush getting to places, we weren’t going to wake up super early just to drive somewhere, but rather just truly take our time with everything. This is key because what is the point of vacation if you are just rushing to get to places. How are you supposed to truly enjoy yourself?

We got off to a little rough start with some car trouble, but sorted it out early enough into the trip (and without any trips to any car places) that it did not impact our traveling or trip in any major way. We decided to split the 9-10 hour drive up into two days and our first stop was Syracuse NY. After a full night of sleep, in which Colton got to sleep in a “big” bed for the first time, we headed for the border. 

I have to say that part of America is absolutely beautiful. A lot of farm country, water, and a large area with not a lot of people. Crossing into the border was easy enough and after a few short hours, we were pulling into the driveway of the cabin we rented (found on AirBnB). 

I cannot even begin to describe how beautiful this location was. I’ve always heard of places being described as “picturesque”, and here we were, staying in the most picturesque location! I cannot talk about it enough, just perfection. The cabin itself was really well set up as well for what we were needing, and every wall facing the lake had a window in it. You literally never did not have a view of the water (except the boys room, which had a driveway window). I fell in love with the spot almost instantly.

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Our first full day in Canada we spent exploring the Capital area of Ottowa. We strolled along Parliament Hill, I got to go to a Chapters (yes I was excited over a bookstore, what can I say?), and we soaked up the beautiful weather and scenery. This was on our list of places and the only place that we actually wanted to go to. I love seeing different countries architecture and government, and while we missed our chance to actually go in to Parliament (which turned out to be a blessing in disguise as Parliament wasn’t sitting on that holiday), the pamphlet had a pretty good rundown. 

The second two days we spent at the cabin, just soaking up the lake, relaxing in the sunshine and just spending some uninterrupted time together. The boys got to “stretch their legs” and run wild and do things they hadn’t done before. They went fishing with Daddy, went on a short little canoe trip, got to see a snapping turtle, frogs, geese, and fish up close and personal. They loved their time there, which made the whole trip even better. 

 

 

For us, we got some much much needed time alone together. It is so important to carve out that time to be with your partner and it is not something that we do enough of. It is so easy to let life interrupt anytime that you have and this vacation gave us a chance to connect and talk and spend that uninterrupted time together that we have been needing. We also got a chance to have a little time to ourselves individually. My husband got to get up early and get some good fishing done (seriously the fishing there was incredible!) and I got to sit by the water and do some yoga and reading. 

After 4 blissful days it was time to pack up and head out, this time to Cooperstown NY. My husband is a huge baseball fan, and while he has been to Cooperstown before, he went during Hall of Fame week and wanted to have a chance to enjoy it without the hoards of people. It was “on our way” back, so we figured we would stop for a day or two. 

Let me tell you, Cooperstown is not for the casual baseball fan. It is for the die hard, to the core, true baseball fan. Casual fans will enjoy it, but it may get a little monotonous at times. They are baseball 100% and you better be there for it. I like baseball well enough to watch it, support my husbands love of the sport, and watch my children fall in love with it. I wouldn’t say I know everything about it, or even necessarily care to know every little thing about it (as this was proved throughout the day and a half we were there). I enjoyed walking through the Hall of Fame and seeing all of the history of the sport and teams. I enjoyed seeing the Astros in their rightful place at the top. I loved the feel of the town, the look of all the houses, the little bakeries and shops on Main St, and I suppose all of the baseball wasn’t too bad. 

Our boys both seem to be following daddy’s footsteps with a love of baseball (although it is still early days yet lol) and they really enjoyed just being able to walk around and watch the other kids play baseball around them. 

Overall this trip was an overwhelming success! We came back feeling refreshed, re charged, connected, and relaxed. We loved seeing the new places and sharing some new experiences together. I’ll treasure the memories and moments that we make on these trips forever. 

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Friday Morning Cups

Screen Shot 2018-05-08 at 12.04.43 PM.jpg“I want adventure in the great wide somewhere, I want it more than I can tell” It’ll be quite silent around here as I am going to take a little break away from everything and really focus on family and our special little alone time together. We take about a week or so every year to just re connect, be away from everything, and just get back in tune with each other, with ourselves, and with the outdoors. I also don’t know if we will have wireless or not, which I’m very excited about. To be completely disconnected from the phone and technology is quite a thrilling concept for me. Don’t worry, I’ll be back soon and better than ever!

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Friday Morning Cups

IMG_6872 3.JPGI’ve been trying to think of a good caption for this photo. One that would accurately represent all the things I want to say. Truth is…I don’t have that caption. I don’t have all of the words (and if I did it would make for a really long caption). What I do have is this: This was a shot from a few weeks ago. When I was overwhelmed. When everything just kept triggering. It was a rough night- Probably the roughest I’ve experienced yet as a mother. This is just one image of what being a survivor is. There are numerous smiling happy pictures to match our numerous smiling days. I’ve never shown this side (just like I’ve never spoken publicly about my past), the tough moments. The times when I’m curled up in a ball, just trying to breathe. Just acknowledging what is and what was. Being a survivor, healing, forgiving, moving forward doesn’t mean that all those memories, all those reactions and fears go away. Those are still (and always will be) very much there in your body and memory. And some days will look like this. Some days will bring you to your knees, but not all of the days. And as you continue to heal, continue to move forward those days will become fewer and fewer. 

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