Boundaries – A Holiday Moment

Oh, Holiday Season- the time of year has finally descended upon us, and we greet either two ways…or a mixture of both. We either have excitement for the coming holidays, the family time, the vacations we are bound to take, OR it’s a feeling of at best reluctance at worst outright dread. 

It’s the time of year a lot of posts start to circulate about “maintaining boundaries” and that whoever doesn’t respect your boundaries can get out, and empowerment, and such. 

And those are all very important. It IS important to set boundaries, not only for yourself but for others. And boundaries are for EVERYONE not only for those who may have strained or toxic relationships. And boundaries look DIFFERENT from person to person, relationship to relationship. 

And while we see posts about setting boundaries, maintaining boundaries, we don’t really see many posts about the realities of boundaries. We don’t see posts about how complicated this can become, how boundaries being disrespected isn’t always black and white (though we wish it was), and that sometimes hope for something better can change boundary limits. 

Because while we can cut someone out of our lives who disrespects a boundary, and I know plenty who do, and there is nothing wrong with that, it’s not always that simple in some instances. Sometimes it’s more being firm in your boundary, reaffirming it, and then moving forward. 

I’m speaking from a recent personal experience where I was very much reminded that I can do the work, I can set my own boundaries, verbalize them, work independently on myself to ensure that relationships with a high number of boundaries will work for me in a way that does not harm me, and have someone steamroll through that with a smile. It was a rude reminder that not everyone will respect, acknowledge, or believe in the work that you put in to make a relationship work all around.

Now you might be wondering from the above recent experience, why not just cut this individual off? And this is where I say it’s not always black and white. I have worked hard on myself and what I need my boundaries to be in this relationship to ensure that others can have a relationship, as others do. And I am OK with that. I have a hard line that, if crossed, the relationship will cease, but when working on boundaries I find that sometimes it’s better, for both parties, to reaffirm the boundary. 

This is why I feel like posts talking about boundaries tend to be lacking. It’s not black and white, it’s not across the board, it’s not the same thing for every person. Boundaries are so important, but it’s equally important to recognize where/what/how people choose to use those boundaries. Yes, crossing a boundary is disrespectful and wrong, but the decision on what you do when that happens can only come from you. 

So, while this is an excellent time of year to check in with yourself and your boundaries, and all those posts (and this one) might be a great affirming reminder for you to do that…remember that those boundaries are YOURS and you choose how implementing them works for you. 

A Week of Rest, Relaxation and Re Charging

What a month October was. I don’t know if it was for anyone else, but man it was just a lot. Here’s the thing- it wasn’t even that bad of a month really. I think it was just a lot of things happening at once. Aside from that first long weekend, my husband was in and out most of the month with work, we were finishing up our Autumn sports, I was planning one event the full month, and wound up helping plan another one last minute, there was a whole lot of Jew Hatred going around (along with all the regular hatred), along with just some regular volunteering that I do, being a mom, wife, homemaker etc. By the end of the month/beginning of November I was completely strung out. Like I said, nothing bad, it was just a lot of things at once.

Not only did I feel strung out and just exhausted, but I also started to feel a lack of…creativity? I’m not sure if that’s the best term, it was more so just the lack of desire to create anything. Whether that was social media stuff, or blog posts, or really anything. I just needed a minute to pause.

So, I decided last week that I was going to do that. I was going to take a week, do very little, and just focus on doing the things that I know helps me feel better. It’s little things, like the tidying the house, scrubbing up the kitchen and such, doing a puzzle, reading a book. I vowed to just lay low. I wanted to take the pressure off of everything and just…relax. 

It was nice. I didn’t realize how far down the rabbit hole I had gone in doing all the things all myself until I stopped. After the first couple of days, I already felt so much more like myself and just much more relaxed. I think that sometimes it’s really good to be able to take a step back and just take a day or two to ourselves. Often times that’s all we really need to do- take a day or two to take care of ourselves and our mental health. 

My week of rest/relaxation/recharge ended up having to change halfway through due to a sick kiddo, but I found that even just having those couple of days made a world of difference in myself. And I was still able to finish out my goal of the week while tending to a child (who I was a much better mother to just having those couple of low-key days). 

And now, going into this new week I feel much more open to what is to come. I have a renewed sense of self, a renewed outlook, and a small amount of creativity seeping back into myself. 

At the end of all this, I feel like this is a bit silly. It’s a funny thing mental health (not really) and it’s a funny thing when you logically know that there is so much more going on in the world. Things could always be worse as the saying goes. But I know that as silly and trivial and ridiculous it might seem, that I was at the edge of a very long, very frayed rope and I needed…something. I needed to not be needed for just a few minutes, to feel like everything was done and handled and I could go off into my “den” for just a few days and hibernate. 

Yea, I mixed a whole bunch of nonsense in there, which is typically a sign to sign off.  I have a couple of low-key things planned for the rest of November, as well as a dream resurfacing. Tell me, what do you do when you’re at the end of your very long, very frayed rope? What is the thing to bring you back?

Rosh Hashanah 5783

Shanah Tovah U’metukah! Happy Jewish New Year! As Rosh Hashanah comes to a close this evening, the Ten Days of Teschuvah begin (actually they start with Rosh Hashanah and then end at Yom Kippur). This period of time is a starting off point to reflection, growth, and returning to being the best that we can be. It’s a chance to jump start your growth and goodness for the year ahead. It’s a process that is meant to be continued year-round, but specifically these ten days are spent making right with relationships and our community. 

Last year’s post is really detailed about Rosh Hashanah and what we do, how we celebrate and what my thoughts were going into the past year- all of which you can read HERE. I’ll just add a little fun fact for this year. On Rosh Hashanah we wish each other a GOOD new year, whereas in the English New Year, you with a HAPPY New Year. This can serve as a reminder that by doing good, being “good”, happiness will follow. 

I normally post my Rosh Hashanah post prior to the holiday beginning, having spent the month of Elul (the last month on the Jewish Calendar, meant as a time of deep reflection and introspection) reflecting on the year, however this year I delayed. It’s been a bit of a weird time. Nothing truly major, nothing truly bad, just a forced time of reflection that had me…not really wanting to share things. I wanted to do some deep inner work and make things right in and with myself before I felt comfortable looking forward and turning outward. 

5782 was a year full of so many highs, a few lows, and a lot of…meh. Not meh necessarily, just a lot of stressful situations that, to be honest, I could have easily avoided or saw my way out of. And I should have. I let a lot of “out of my control” things affect my own self and that is not something that I really liked about myself. It’s not something that is directly in my nature, until I’ve been pushed to a point, and there were a couple of times that I was pushed to that point (and I shouldn’t have been). 

But I’m a deep believer in something higher than us, guiding our way, and placing things in/out of our lives to continue to guide and show us the way forward. And, while 5782 held both good and bad, I feel like I really deepened my own feelings and truths about my thoughts, beliefs, and feelings about relationships. And that is how I spent my month of Elul- deep in introspection over the prior year. I’m not going to be sharing too many of those thoughts, mostly because they are private and not something I want to put out into the world. 

All that being said, I was thinking and reflecting all the way up until Erev Rosh Hashanah. I was trying to figure out where I wanted this year to take me, it’s a year of change for us after all in so many ways, and I what I felt would be best for me, my family, and our community. And when I heard that Shofar Blast, that awakening to a new year, I felt those familiar shivers and goose bumps, and something locked into place for me. It’s a new year, a Shanah Tovah (a good year), and I’m READY. 

So, what does all this really mean???

Well, I’ve got a new…word for the year- really a new mindset. I’ve always been a “find the good” kind of person, but I found that in 5782 I struggled with it a bit more than I have in the past. That may not actually be fair to say…I’ll change that thought. I focused more of my time and intentions and energy on the negative, on the toxic, than I should have, than I normally would have. That’s more accurate. 

So, in 5783 I’m choosing הַכָּרַת הַטּוֹב (Hakarat ha’tov) or quite literally “recognize the good”. I’m also choosing שִׂמְחָה (simcha) or joy. It’s simple- there is no place in my life for the toxic, for the negative, for the bad energy. I recently read a quote that really just…resonated with me and fed into this feeling of needing this to lead my year- “At this big age, I’m only interested in progress and peace. Anything that costs either has to go”- We the Urban. If it does not serve my families progress or peace, if it does not feed our joy, our lives, then it has no place. 

Now, that does not mean that bad days do not come. It does not mean that we do not struggle. In fact, this year (5783) is going to be full of challenges for our family, but it means that either I will toss out of the negativity- treat it with a light laughter, turn it into something humorous, OR I will cling to the good moments when the bad come. 

None of this is really new to me- I’ve always been someone who tries to find the good, find the happiness, in fact this is something I touched on last year when my word was “mechaye” – something that gives great joy or life. This has always been who I am, but sometimes it can get a little lost in the everyday and this is my way of bringing it back to the forefront a little more. 

Beyond that – my goals for 5783 are in flux right now. I have things that I want to accomplish, as I do every year, and I feel like this year could really be a big year for those goals. Both boys are in school, so I have a bit more free time- though I’m rapidly filling it with commitments. However, I’m trying to keep an open mind to really welcome any new opportunities that knock on our day and find new ways that I can help those around me and in my community. 

So, with all those words said…I really just want to with everyone a Shana Tovah U’metukah- I hope 5783 is everything and more. 

As Summer Fades Into Autumn

Alternatively titled: Life Lately…

For me, Autumn starts on September 1. I’m not sure when/why I’ve picked this date, but it’s just always been there. It might have something to do with school schedules (and being on the East Coast where school does not start until after Labor Day has only solidified this) or it might be because no matter where we have lived, August has always been the worst with heat/humidity/bugs. Whatever the reason, for me “Autumn” begins tomorrow. And wow am I ready for Autumn. 

This Autumn marks a time of change, most notably that both my boys will be in school all day every day. I’ll have an empty house during the day for the first time in 6 years. It seems a bit surreal to me to be honest. Definitely a little bittersweet. As ready as we all are (and believe me, we are READY), it’s still a bit sad to think that my baby-est of boys, my little mama’s boy, is off to school. Luckily, I am volunteering within the PTO and school again so he won’t be far and the chances of me seeing him throughout the year and during the school day are high. He also attended the KinderCamp prior to school getting started and he did so well, loved every minute, and it very much added to his excitement of the start of school. 

In reality, there are a lot of other changes coming down the pipeline as Summer turns to Autumn, most of which I won’t be talking about, but it just feels like such a transition period- more so than in the past. 

I started out Summer with big plans- I wanted to journal with the kids every morning, we had an idea to our days, I had plans to only be here and there for little bits, while taking most of the time to really be present with the boys. And yet, while some of that happened, a lot of it didn’t. We went on our Summer Holiday, which was great and loved every minute, but then once we came back it was a rush to get back settled again, to get self imposed deadlines down, to re create those perfect day to days that I had dreamed, to then only throw them out the window- create playdates out of nowhere, and then strive to balance all the things I wanted to accomplish. It felt very…un summer like and definitely not like previous summers. I’m not sure what was so different, maybe it’s because this Autumn will be so different, but it just felt very short, very rushed, and very…unsatisfactory. But that’s life sometimes. 

Like Summer (you would think I would have learned, but no), I have big plans for Autumn and Winter. I’ve created a sort of overview of dates and timelines (again mostly self-imposed) that I’d like to meet and I feel like I’ll actually be able to do it. The big things are continuing regular blog posts (maybe some exciting new ones- anything you’d like to see more of?), starting up the podcast, and editing my book.

How was your Summer? What big plans do you have for the changing season?

On Spring/Summer Style

You know, I wouldn’t call myself “stylish”. Or maybe I would (on a good day I would probably say that I have a sense of classic style, on a bad day…well who knows). Really though I wouldn’t say that I am a person that people look to for style advice, tips, or what is “trendy”. HOWEVER, what I will say is that I know what I’m comfortable in and I know what tends to look good on me- which, in my opinion is what style/personal style is actually about.  I never really thought I would right a post on style, but I seem to do just that every year (sometimes twice a year!). 

My style has evolved over the years, as I think everybody’s does over time. On the whole things have stayed the same- I love a good pair of jeans with a tee or sweater and that will never change. I love a dress in the spring/summer or when the occasion calls for it. I go on and off with screen print anything though- has to be the biggest thing that changes haha. However, I think I’ve settled into what I think works for me, between what looks good, what looks comfortable, and what fits my overall…personality/aesthetic for life. 

So…all that to say…I’m living my best cottage core/European Countryside dress life and I’ll never go back. 

It all started maybe a year or two ago when I purchased the above black and white polka dot dress from Old Navy (fun fact- most of these dresses are from Old Navy). It was so comfortable, I felt so good in it, and it flatters any shape, even my petite one. I’ve always loved the flowy dresses, but it’s hard to find ones that flatter, without adding. That dress was quickly followed by a black floral dress, and then a blue and white striped dress (which is a die hard favorite- will wear every chance I can). I still would purchase the short, cute dresses too, there was/is/always will be a variety to the dress game in my closet, but the main theme over all of it is English countryside/European Summer/Cottage Core. 

This year I’ve well and truly fleshed out my spring/summer wardrobe. It’s 80% dresses, 10% shorts/teas and 10% skirts. I wear the shorts the least (though mostly just because the shorts that look good on me personally tend to be the daisy duke style and as I get older/my kids get older I tend to feel less and less comfortable in that). The thing that I love the most about the dresses is that you can be flowy and soft, or short sweet (and sexy). I really can dress for my mood and all of them will work with the weather (aka all options for hot and sweaty days). 

This all shifts (obviously) come Autumn/Winter when I gravitate back to jeans, with scarves, sweaters, and other oversized long sleeved tops (you could say it’s an academia/dark academia style aesthetic), but we’ll talk about that come Autumn. 

From Our Front Porch

I feel like it’s only right to write this post from our front porch…so here I am sat just marveling at that Spring Morning Breeze, dazzled by the flowers and chimes and birds chirping all around me. I’ve always dreamed of having a front porch- almost exactly like this one ( I mean what I’d really like is a wrap around, but this will do for now). I’d pictured it to be a place to sit at any time of day and just take in the world around us. The boys would be able to play in the front yard and I would be able to read a book. And here we are, I’ve created what I’ve always dreamed of. Our front porch is utilized by almost everyone in our home, and visitors. It’s a true highlight, home to morning teas, afternoon teas, picnics, and everything in between. Once the weather warms, I spend at least 60% of my day on our porch. 

Last year I went a little tame. It was our first year of having this space to work with, and I was really focused much more heavily on our indoor plants if I’m being totally honest. Still, we had some hydrangeas, petunias, marigolds, and such. But this year, this year I had plans. I had a vision. Our last frost was Mother’s Day, so this year, for Mother’s Day, I went on a little shopping trip to pick out the flowers for our front porch. I was not prepared for just how far I would go to create what I dreamed of. I tend to do a combination of big box and garden centers/greenhouses to get what I’m looking for and this year has proven to be no different. 

I wanted to create a little oasis of sorts filled with flowers and cheer and I feel like I’ve done that within the constraints that I have. I am not able to hang anything really (which stinks) as we get the brunt of the winds on our little stretch of the street. I’ve set up some wind chimes and even those are taking a beating from the wind, but the sounds that come from it, combined with the birds chirping, are just a dream. Also, with the winds I have to be mindful of smaller plants. When we are supposed to see an increase of winds, I have to move several of the plants around to ensure that none really topple over or take a lot of wind, so I try to put some thought into where they go so I’m not moving them too much. Finally, I can’t plant anything in the actual ground- everything is potted. This limits quite a few of the plants that I dream of one day having in a full fledged garden (like the iris’s that I had to heartbreakingly pass up). 

However, I am fairly pleased with what I’ve done this year. It’s just about put together, with maybe at most only one or two more plants joining later in the spring into summer season (the fuschia that I had last year are a must get again this year). We’ve got a good variety of flower and color, and hopefully, once things start opening and growing in a bit more, we’ll have a lovely scent profile as well. 

We’ve got two hydrangea’s on either side of the door. Hydrangeas are one of my favorites as not only are they fairly hardy, but the blooms just keep coming. Last year my bloomed from May through to August/September and I was able to chop and bouquet them. I have daisies and petunias as well- always a hardy, easy grow with big payoff. This year I’ve added in some Dipladenia with these beautiful white blooms. Then, rounding out this front corner is an azalea and this little pot of snapdragon and garden grape hyacinth. 

Coming around here to my favorite area in the whole house (ok maybe that’s exaggerating- I really love our whole house) we’ve got quite the set up. The furniture is from Amazon from a couple years back, blanket from Etsy even further back, and the bee happy pillow is a Walmart find. You’ll see another little pot of the garden grape hyacinth and snapdragon, as well as more petunias, snapdragons, and Dipladenia. We’ve also got an Asiatic Lily and Poppy bush, as well as a large climbing rose bush in the very back. These three pots are what I’m hoping fills out and creates the ambiance- a big explosion of smell and color from these blooms. Finally on the table I’ve got a columbine and ornamental rose. I had ornamental roses last year and they really do well in this spot, so I’m hoping for success this year. 

And that really wraps it up for our front porch! I tried to go for simple, but pops a punch. You can follow my Instagram (@acuppacosy) to see how everything blooms, grows and changes over the season!

Romanticize Your Life

Yes, yes, I’ve fully jumped on this trend- though to be fair, I’ve always been a bit like this- treating my life as if it were a movie where I was the main character, we just have now named this trend. But I’m getting a bit ahead of myself here…

***This post is full of photos of small moments, little pockets of joy reframed in my mind with a softness, a contentment. It’s these little moments, little mundane parts of our day, such as opening the blinds, a walk to the school bus, a cup of tea in the afternoon, that can be reframed in our minds. This is where romanticizing your life can begin. It’s also the bigger moments, the bigger show- at the end of the post- as well.***

Romanticize Your Life.

I think some people hear that or see a post with that caption and think…it’s out of reach or not realistic or just adding extra time and effort to tasks. And while in some cases, yes it can be a bit of an extra effort, but it’s much easier than it maybe looks. 

That’s because the whole concept of “romanticizing your life” is more so a mindset than everything else. It’s about falling in love, being so content with the life you are currently leading (and when I say content- I don’t mean in a stagnant way- we should always grow and change). Life ebbs and flows, we go through highs and lows, but romanticizing your life is about loving your life as it’s lived, good and bad. It’s trying to view the everyday mundane things through a different lense, in a different sense. It’s taking those little moments and turning them into more, whether that’s simply by putting on some music, filming them, or turning them into a grandeur production (I’ll explain that- I promise). By romanticizing our lives, we are reminding ourselves just how special some of these mundane tasks/moments, the everyday everyday can still be special.

 

I want to be clear, for me, this DOES NOT mean that everything is sunshine, roses and daisies. It DOES NOT mean that life is simple and easy. It DOES NOT mean that I don’t have off days/off moments/deal with tough moments with the kids. It DOES NOT have to happen every second of every day. What is DOES mean for me, is that the simple act of making tea, of putting together a little fruit tray, taking care of the plants (heck even doing the dishes, folding laundry, etc.), of doing the little tasks is calming, is charming, is sweet. It gives me a better outlook- the idea that instead of HAVING to do something, I CAN do it in a way that will be better/happier for all of us. 

I do this year-round, no matter the season, but there is nothing like having these moments in the Spring or Autumn. It’s no secret that I love the transitional seasons, Autumn when the leaves start to turn and fall, and the air goes crisp and cool. Everything floods with the vibrant reds/oranges/and yellows, and big scarves, sweaters and light jackets become our attire. But also, Spring, when new life emerges, when we leave that den of Winter and step back out into the sunlight. When dresses come back into play, the air still crisp, but with a lightness of life coming back. You can romanticize your life year-round (think of those moments in Winter when the first snow hits, or the snow falls just right, OR those Summer thunderstorms, lazy days on the porch), but it’s definitely easier during the transitional seasons for me.  

So, at its basic- this is about setting a mood for yourself, your space, and your family. Some of the smaller examples of how I do this just everyday- opening the blinds when I wake up, picking particular clothing out, playing my mood setting playlists (this can be anything from a “day in the cottage” style playlist with instrumental and movie soundtracks OR hits from the early 2000’s, whatever my mood calls for). I set out certain tasks to be right away as it…” sets the scene” so to speak- so I wake up and immediately open up the blinds to let the light in. Then I pick out a playlist that meets my mood- honestly most of my morning music tends to be softer instrumental or movie soundtrack style music. Somewhere along the way I’ll switch…or not, it just depends. These two little things first thing already sets my brain into a “romantic” mood and lifts my mood and spirit. Then everything else starts to fall into place after that. When I go down to make my morning tea or coffee, I make a “production” out of choosing the perfect mug for the day, preparing my tea, and pouring the water from the kettle. When you first start doing this, if you choose to, it may feel silly, BUT as time goes on you start to find joy in these little moments and then it clicks. 

You can also bring this concept into your own living space with plants or flowers, add books and little things that make you happy to the spaces of your home. In the Spring/Summer I usually like to have some fresh flowers on our counter tops, we also have plants (obviously), and then I’ll style the coffee table genre books in our home to fill some of the “first look” spaces. Light some candles throughout your space. These can be real burning candles or the electronic ones if for some reason you can’t burn candles. Not only will the scent fill you with that same joy and peace, but the candlelight will shift your mood as well. 

I’ll give an example of one of my most frequent “bigger” ways of doing this in the spring/summer…this is something super easy but makes a world of difference. Everyday my kids want a snack in the afternoon (which is totally normal) and I usually want to join them. So, we will make a full picnic out of this little snack. Yes, it takes a fraction more effort, usually in terms of cutting, BUT it’s only a fraction and the simple joy (and excited good happy behavior as a result) that comes from this is well beyond that small effort. I’ll usually cut a couple different fruit options, some cheese/cracker/meat combination, place it all on our charcuterie tray and, weather permitting, we will head outside. I would say we do this 2-3 times a week in the summer, and it’s always met with such excitement and joy (from everyone involved) that it ends up feeling like a movie. Something about creating this little picnic just completely changes our entire day. 

Ultimately, it doesn’t take a lot to “romanticize your life”. Find the ways that you feel content, peace, and joy and implement those into your everyday. Maybe that’s the simple act of opening the blinds first thing in the morning, maybe it’s morning coffee/tea on the porch, maybe it’s an afternoon spent at the park with a picnic. Maybe it’s being more intentional with your clothing or your space. Whatever it may be, I promise you there is just such a joy and peace that comes with being so content with life as it’s lived. 

To Thaw or Not To Thaw

Winter is veeerrrrrryyyyyyyy slowly coming to an end here in the Northeastern part of the country and I may finally be seeing the light at the end of this tunnel. This year we experienced our first proper winter in Upstate New York, and it changed us. I don’t think I’ve ever experienced a winter quite like this one. 

To start with- the snow. There was a lot of it. Not as much as they’ve had in the past I’m told, but it was still a lot for us. And at times it seemed never ending. The weatherman didn’t quite get it right- it would stop and start of its own accord, and of course throw in the lake effect part and we had quite the time with it. We got a lot of use out of the snowblower (which I highly recommend) and the boys got to have a lot of fun. 

The snow was one thing, something I could prepare for, but what I couldn’t really prepare for was just how COLD it got. Let me tell you, I don’t know that I’ve ever experienced below zero temperatures, but I sure did this year. I think that was one of the hardest things about winter here, most days it was either snowing OR it was sunny and below zero. In fact, at one point I used the words “warm” and “not so bad” in reference to a 20-degree sunny day. Previous Mia would never. 

I quickly learned that those cute little winter outfits we see splashed around are just not…practical in any sense. And I’m not even referring to like the little sweater dress and boots. I’m talking about the jeans with the cute sweater, oversized but thin trench, and boots. No, no, no, that would not cut it here in the heart of winter (even though I tried- I tried so hard). 

Enter…the coveralls. The things that I would previously really only wear to go play in the snow with the boys have become an everyday staple in my winter wardrobe. Seriously, every day. I have found that these coveralls, with a long-sleeved layer underneath, pants (and sometimes thermal leggings under those), with snow boots, a thick winter jacket, hat and gloves have been my saving grace. 

The epitome of fashion over here. 

Because, to be honest, at this point I’ve really come to understand the whole function over fashion. 

When it’s -20 with a real feel of -32 and they are delaying school due to temps no one (you included) is going to care about that cute little sweater you’ve got on, or the perfect calf boots you’ve found. The only thing you’re going to care about is staying warm at that comes at the expense of “looking fashionable”. Note- I said looking fashionable, you can still be cute and cuddly in these clothes…it’s just not high fashion. Maybe fashion designers should take note ha-ha. 

In fact, if I do say so myself, there is nothing quite as cute as looking like the kid from A Christmas Story and staying warm. 

Planning in 2022

Well, it’s a new year and even though I am trying not to plan too much, there is still a lot going on and I still need to have a planner of some sort. Going along with my new “be flexible” lifestyle (ha- that’s a bit of a joke) I decided to once again dip my toes in the bullet journaling world. 

Here’s the thing, my ideal planner would have a spot to sort of time block my day in a visual sense, but also a separate section for a bit of a rolling to do list. I want to have the space to write out what I actually need to accomplish, but also be able to visualize how I’m spending my day in a time sense. All of that in a weekly view spread. Every planner that I was finding then involved me needing a separate notebook for the to-do list/meeting notes, and then a separate journal space, and a separate reading space. That was just not something that I wanted. Less is best, right? So, I decided to go back into the bullet journaling world to see if I could find a way to make it work. 

The biggest change this year with the bullet journaling is twofold. The first is that I’m using stencils. The biggest turn off or reason I stopped in previous years is it IS a lot of work and most of the time, I prefer to read a book or do something other. I’m not NOT crafty, but it’s also not something that I really focus on. So, I ordered a pack of stencils to kind of cut my time spent setting up my planner in half. 

The second change I made is in how I set it up. A) all of my months are preset at the beginning of the bullet journal. I needed to be able to see all 12 months at one time, with school/appointments/breaks there is just too much going on for me not to be able to see several months pre outlined. I typically am planning and booking stuff almost a month out, so this was a necessary. I wanted to be able to see my month, but then customize my week as it happened. B) I don’t have a monthly view within each month. Since I did the full calendar year in the first 24 pages of the bullet journal (a month on two pages), I don’t feel the need to then duplicate the work each month. This actually cuts a lot of my “bullet journal work” time in half. Each month has a reading spread and a tracking spread prior to the actually weekly spreads. That’s it. One page to track my movement, mood, and journaling, and one page to track all the book things (I’m tracking both reading and purchasing this year). Then I have my weekly spread, with notes and meeting information as necessary. 

I have found that, so far, a few months in, this has really been working for me. I’ve always said that I want everything to be in one place. That’s something I’ve always liked about Bullet Journaling- it’s really one notebook that can encompass everything you need. I’m hopeful that this will actually work out for me this year and give me both the structure and flexibility I think that 2022 is going to need. 

And that’s the planner for 2022! I’ll do another check in with it about halfway through the year (this is what I tend to do when I do bullet journaling) and we’ll see where it’s at at that point. 

A Year In…

It’s been a year. A whole year being in New York. A {little over a} year back in the United States. I figured I might take a minute and just…reminisce? Share some of the things that I’ve learned? I don’t want this to be a recap post or anything of the sort (I already did that with my New Year’s post HERE), but there are some things that I’ve learned that I want to briefly share about. 

In 2021 we moved away from our little village in Germany back to the US. We took a month to visit some family, before heading on our way to very {veerrrryyyyy} Upstate New York. As someone who was very sad to be leaving Germany, even the excitement of being back in the States, setting up a new home, and being in a new location wasn’t enough to bring me out of my blues. Also, the move back was a bit overwhelming, as was the adjustment of being back in the States. I was excited, but also sad, and a little apprehensive. This would be a different life for all of us. 

I will say this, I have fallen in love with this area of the country. We truly live in a very beautiful area, close to a lot of outdoors activity, smaller town living, and really…not much can top Upstate New York in Autumn. We still have easy access to a lot of travel spots, and we’ve even tried out some different travel options (and fell in love with one or two). It’s been something special this past year, but a lot of that “get out of the blues” feeling is due to one thing…

Romanticizing my life as it is. 

Now, let me make this clarification (and I’ll probably make this several times throughout this little post) …this doesn’t mean that life is easy or grand or beautiful every day. It doesn’t mean that everything is perfect and wonderful and easy. BUT what it does mean is accepting that those days come, but celebrating, reflecting, and holding on to those little moments of joy- that first cup of coffee in the morning, a picnic on the front porch, the quiet of the afternoon while the kids are at school, the beauty of a sunrise or sunset. Or bigger things like walking in a field of flowers, picking some fresh for the table, sitting at the edge of a mountain in the middle of Autumn with the vibrant reds and yellows all around. Those little joys are what I share, what I reflect on, what I treasure, making sure those are the moments that hold me through…that’s what this means to me. It’s finding those little moments in the midst of the chaos and holding those close when it is chaotic. 

I know it might sound cheesy, but if you’ve been following my social media over the last 6-9 months, you’ll have seen me share a lot of those moments (I mean how many times can I wonder at opening my blinds up in the morning to greet the day?! It’s glorious!). 

It’s really easy to get swept away in life and the world living in Europe. Like beyond easy to feel like you’re living in a dream, living in a fairytale. I didn’t want to lose the joy and wonder I had when waking up in Europe every morning when we moved back to the US. And while the US is incredible and the area, we live in is beautiful, I needed to find a way to carry that feeling from Europe into our new life in New York. So, I started doing little things. Our new routines and scheduled meant for less time for “dallying” in the morning, so I tried to take little moments, making that first cup of tea, opening up all the blinds in the house, playing calming music in the morning, etc. It’s nothing I wouldn’t already be doing, but it’s more so putting a bit more intention into these little moments. I find that if I take a couple extra seconds in the morning to put on a calming playlist (I have several to choose from) and just take a couple extra minutes when opening up the windows to truly take in the day- it shifts my mindset. It reminds me that life is beautiful (even if not always perfect and calm) no matter where we are or what we are doing. 

It doesn’t mean that life isn’t chaotic, or busy, or that my children don’t throw fits and I don’t feel like screaming and crying all at the same time…it simply means that I am constantly looking around and reminding myself how wonderful life is in the good moments. It doesn’t change that we have bad moments (because oh boy do we), but it makes a small difference in them. 

And that to me is what Romanticizing my life is all about. It’s about putting myself in the movie, in seeing the beauty in all the little moments throughout the day, to help get through the bad moments (also throughout the day). It’s about reminding ourselves that life can be incredible and celebrated and enjoyed.