Friday Morning Cups – A Super Important Motherhood One

IMG_3221

“Toddlers are not giving us a hard time, they are having a hard time”. Saw this quote a little while ago and it really just put me back in the right mindset. Figured I would share it as well as it may remind someone else of what toddlers go through. I’m not going to sit here and tell you that it ISN’T hard to be a parent (it is at times and I will be the FIRST PERSON to acknowledge that, I actually just recently did), but I am going to try and say that sometimes we need to rethink our thought process when it comes to “terrible two’s”, “threenagers”, etc (which I totally do say those things, so I’m not perfect with this by any means.

☕️

It’s hard for us to truly understand (as we as adults now possess the abilities our youngsters are learning), but imagine having all the feelings, feelings which you’ve never experienced before, learning all of these new things you’ve never known before, trying to understand the vastness and complexity of the world you live in, without having the words to express yourself. Without having the ability to truly make sense of what is going on around you. Sounds frustrating, right?

☕️

So, when you are dealing with the 5th temper tantrum over your first morning cup, try to remember, they don’t understand. They are trying to learn about their world. Their rules. Their role. And it is up to us, as their parents to calmly riddle it out for them. To show them the way. To speak to them and help them understand. It is hard for them, just as it  can be draining for you. AND if you are feeling drained, say something. Take a little breather and do some self care. 

acuppacosy1 Comment

The Power of Yoga

If you follow me on Social Media you will have seen me talking more and more about Yoga. I’ve always been off and on with Yoga, but over the past year it has started to play a really big part of my life. It’s really become a time of sanctuary for me and an essential part of my weeks. I’m going to share a little bit about what Yoga just is to/for me.

We are constantly being pulled in a million different directions at any given moment. If you don’t think so, then just pay attention to yourself this evening. While you are sitting on the couch, what is going on? What are you doing? Perhaps the tv is on or maybe some music is playing. While the TV is on/music is playing, are you scrolling through your phone? Are you reading a book/magazine/newspaper? Do you have kids? Are they playing in the background?  Or even worse, the tv is on/music is playing, kids are in the background playing, we are talking on the phone to someone, AND we are making something or ordering something for dinner. How do we do so much all the time? No wonder we end up feeling burnt out after a while.

There are very limited amounts of time that we do not have this assault of things going on. That we unplug our mind. Unplug our body. That we just breathe and be in a space where we don’t have a million things. THIS is one of the things that Yoga is to me.

Yoga is so much more than just doing some stretching or poses and breathing exercises. It is about bringing a level of peace from our inner selves to our outer world. I’ve said it before, but yoga is the ONE time that my whole mind just shuts down and there is not a single wave of thought going through. I am able to just focus on my body, on my breathing, on just being present. I step outside (figuratively and literally) of the world of noise and into a world that is just peaceful. That is calm and devoid of distraction.

The only thing that Yoga asks of you is that you show up and be present. Be present in your moment. Be present in yourself, in your environment. To soak up the calm energy and allow it to flow through you. To just welcome the peace that comes when you stop and breathe. In a world of constant noise, of constant thought, of a mentality of “if you’re not moving/going, you’re missing out”, it is so important to pull away from that. To reflect. To breathe.

Something else that Yoga has really brought to me is a level of healing within my body and soul. I experienced trauma throughout my late childhood/adolescence/young adult life (which I talk about HERE if you want to read/are new) and Yoga has just opened up so many doors of healing. When I spiral, I can just deep into the calm of breathing, sit in a pose, and be able to break out of my spiral in a way that I haven’t been able to do before. It has brought a new level of healing and recognition of my own body and given me another tool for my healing.

One last bit that Yoga has opened me up for is just a knowledge of my body. When you are sitting on a mat working through your breathing, through your poses and stretching, you can become really in touch with the different parts of your body. When I wake up, do my “hard core” workouts, or just head out hike, I can immediately tell if something is off in my body. I attribute this to being in touch with my body, taking stock of my movements, during Yoga. This is a big help when I feel “off” or if I get injured.

Yoga has honestly just become such a big part of my life and I have become such a believer in its power. I highly encourage everyone to do it and will continue to just share my deep appreciation and love for the art. I look forward to deepening my knowledge and study.

acuppacosy1 Comment

Friday Morning Cups : A 2 for 1 on Motherhood

IMG_6071Before I was a mom I never thought I would be the mom who said: “Send (insert:caffeine,wine,junk food, etc) it helps” (In my case it’s tea and It totally does help).

▫️Before I was a mom, I never thought I would be annoyed at my messy house (I mean the kids are living, making memories, etc). 

▫️Before I was a mom I never thought I would celebrate the idea of using the bathroom in peace (I totally knew this whole everyone in the bathroom would be a thing, but that solo celebration is also a thing).

▫️Before I was a mom I scoffed at the idea of making separate sides for children (I don’t make a full separate meal, but I do occasionally make two different sides, while offering all options, just to ensure my picky toddler eats something at dinner).

▫️Before I was a mom, I thought that after becoming a mom it wouldn’t be hard to get back to husband and wife (don’t let this scare you, it’s not HARD per se, you just have to make it a priority because it is so so important. 

▫️Before I was a mom I had all sorts of ideas about TV time, technology, etc (which I actually still maintain most of those same ideas ☺️)

▫️Before I was a mom…The list could go on and on of things I thought, ideas on how I would parent, how I thought life as a mother would be. Then I became a mom. 

▫️That’s the thing about motherhood, you have all these ideas and principles in your head…and then it happens. You are handed your child and it gets real. While your overall principles stay the same, your approach, the way you talk, the little things you do everyday. New things annoy you, old things fade away. And if you decide to have multiple children? Your parenting approach and style change to meet the individual needs of each child. 

▫️So have your ideas and overall principles about how you want to parent, try to stick with them as you parent, but know that the minor details may change here and there. That every child is different and will have different needs. That it’s ok to say, how I had planned to parent isn’t what is working. It is ok to shift styles as you figure out what your child needs. Once you find what works for you and for your child, it’s magic…or at least magic with a side of what gets you through the day. 

…

IMG_2124.JPGI’ve said it before- I like a clean house. I strive for a clean house 97% of the time (the 3% being the time that my kids are awake and trashing everything 😅). A clean home makes me calm (no joke). What I really pride myself on though is my kitchen. I strive for clean counters, floor, dishes in either the washer, drying wrack or put away. Perfection in my kitchen is heaven/less stress to me. BUT (and this is THE BUT of life really), there is a time and place for that. 

☕️Yes, there are dishes on my counter. Yes, I was in the process of clearing breakfast and handling my kitchen after a meal. But if I hadn’t turned around. If I hadn’t bent down. If I hadn’t taken the chance to just be with these two and have a mini pile up/dance party. Then I wouldn’t be me. I wouldn’t have this picture. I wouldn’t have these smiles. It may sound dramatic and over the top, but it’s true. 

☕️Our children want us. They want us to watch, to play, to talk, to be with them. While we see all the mess around us, see everything that needs to be done, see the work that needs to be done, they just see Mommy and Daddy. So turn around for a minute. Have the dance party. They may not remember every little thing, but they will remember the overall feelings/picture they had. And you will remember. And there will be smiles. Giggles. Happiness. 

acuppacosyLeave a comment

A Cuppa Cosy Heads International!

Yep, you read that title right! We are heading out of the United States and are so incredibly excited to do it! For the next few years we are going to be residing in Germany, learning about the culture, the history, exploring all over Europe, and blogging all about it!

I don’t normally speak about what my husband does, or really talk about him much at all, and that is both for privacy and security reasons. He is a relatively private person and I definitely respect (and love) that part of him, BUT I do want to say that the reason we are moving is to do with his job. He is in the military and we jumped at this opportunity when it presented itself.

We are so incredibly lucky to be able to move out of the country and explore somewhere completely new. It is not something that we are taking for granted, nor something that we are approaching lightly. We plan on truly absorbing everything that Germany (and Europe as a whole) has to offer. I can’t wait to share our experiences over the next few years and see where this journey takes us!

I will touch a little bit on our process for anyone that is wondering or is looking at a similar situation. For us (aka for military families) it’s all about timeline. The preparation stuff so far hasn’t been so bad. The biggest thing is just handling it early enough, so you don’t feel a bottleneck of stuff to do close to your move. I know that sometimes this isn’t a possibility, thankfully it is in our case, but if you can handle as much as you can as early as you can then that will really help the ease of a move. I will share once we get closer to our actual move date more tips and tricks that I have found in a single post.

We are both very excited about what the future holds for us and what this new path is going to be like!

acuppacosy3 Comments

A Different Kind of Tired

If you follow me on any of my Social Media you may have already picked up on this, but the past few weeks have been no joke. They’ve been rough. It hasn’t been anything inherently bad, just routine life, but it’s just been a constant of life that’s stretched me thin.

Before we get too far into this, I did take a little “break” and did some self care that I haven’t really been able to get in, so I will not be so stretched thin and can “recuperate” a little. I am doing so much better now, which is referenced at the end of the post.

 I was talking with my husband one night and I found myself saying “I’m just so tired”. This was a pretty good sign to me as to where I was at. How I was feeling and what was going on. His response though? “Why don’t you go to bed then” A logical response to what I had actually said, but I knew that going to bed wasn’t really the answer, just like being physically tired wasn’t what was wrong. Yes, I was physically tired, and yes, going to bed would have probably helped, but it wasn’t the larger issue.

There is a different kind of “tired” when you are a mom. The feeling of just being so worn out emotionally and mentally. We say tired because with this feeling we can feel physically tired, but the root of that is really just our mental and emotional state. It usually comes at a point when we just simply need a break from “being a mom”. We need to have an adult conversation, an adult beverage, or -honestly- an adult only restroom break.

Being a mom (and a parent) means being constantly there when your kids are there. Yes, there are times when we step away and do dishes, or write, or read, or make food, but honestly there is always a part of us that is paying attention to our children. Keeping an ear out for what they are doing, keeping a side eye on what toys they are playing with, making sure that they aren’t destroying the house or hurting each other or getting into things they shouldn’t be into.

That alone, that divided attention, trying to do two things at once (keep the kids happy, and maybe cook some food, do some dishes) is exhausting by itself. And sometimes, being a mom is not the only thing we do. It may be the most important, but often times we are also wives, employees, business owners, or have some other commitment going on that we need to do.

Not only do we balance motherhood, partnership, work, we are also actively maintaining a living space and trying to take care of ourselves. Even with the help of our respective partners, it all adds up. And, at some point, we get tired. Not just physically tired, but emotionally and mentally worn out. We collapse in a pile in bed or on the couch and just lay there. We revel in the peace that is the house after the kids go to bed, the nightly chores are done, and there is a quiet that we haven’t heard all day long.

So yes, I was tired when I said that and yes, I did go to bed, but it wasn’t (and isn’t ever) a simple fix. It took a couple days for me to get out that “tired” feeling. A couple days of easy weekend-ing, having my whole little family together, and getting a blissful few hours kid free. That was what I really needed and when we started a new week, it felt as if I was back in action.

acuppacosy4 Comments

Restoring Order: A Lighthearted Short Story About One Tired Mom

The alarm clock chimed 6:00AM, as it did every morning. Playing a classical medley of strings and piano to gently nudge the sleeping mom awake. Morning had come too quick once again. After a late night, a non sleeping baby, and an early alarm she was tired before the day even began.

She did her morning yoga flow and was starting to feel better. More “with it”. Trying to save a little time (as she could hear the soft murmurings of her older son waking up), she stopped into the kitchen to put the kettle to boil.

Tea was her savior in the morning. The workout or yoga session started her off in the right direction, and the tea just put everything over the top. To hear the whistle of the kettle, the splash of the water being poured into her teapot, steam rising up, and then a few short minutes later that beautiful rich colored tea being poured into her cup—this was the way to start her morning. Not to mention the caffeine that would curse through her veins, and, as she sipped her tea, she would slowly emerge from the sleepy fog of her brain.

After setting the kettle to boil, she headed back to her bedroom to get ready for the day. Makeup done, tended to her-now full awake- two year old and then quickly did her hair. All this time (about 30 minutes or so) she didn’t hear the whistle of the kettle. After getting her one year old ready, it occurred to her that she still hadn’t heard that whistle. Thinking maybe someone had pulled it off (as family was in town) she quickly finished up and hurried back to the kitchen.

Stepping into the kitchen- it hit her. The smell of something burning, the no steam, and no whistle from the kettle that was sitting on the still hot burner. The kettle had been placed on the burner empty and the interior (and exterior) had simply been overheating for nothing.

Devastated, she pulled the kettle off, turned the burner off and wondered if it was ok to use or not. The outside had gone quite dark and rusted burned in some spots, the interior a questionable shade of burned brown. It smelled cooked. Damaged was the final determination of her beloved kettle. A new one would need to be purchased. In the meantime, she would have to figure out some other way to heat her water.

In her search for a new tea kettle, she came across a sure beautyf of a kettle, but due to the specifics that she wanted she would have to order it online. This meant a couple days without a kettle! The kettle was ordered and all she could do was wait.

She used the old Keurig that they had saved for family visits, and things were ok. A kettle isn’t the only way to heat water and it wasn’t the end of the world, but she missed that whistle. She enjoyed making tea with the kettle and her teapot. In some ways it was a little ritual she had set up for every morning and the Keurig water just didn’t do the same justice to her tea.

But, oh! The kettle came faster than expected and in just two short days, order was restored to their house. That first whistle from the new kettle instantly made her day better. All was well.

Authors note:

So first, this is a completely true story EXCEPT for the “soft murmurings” of my two year old. When he wakes up, he takes maybe a minute or two to stretch in bed and then he is out that door and off to the races. Very rarely does he have a “slow” start to the morning.

Second, I totally know that this wasn’t an end of the world problem. It’s definitely not a huge deal in the grand scheme of things and I totally survived (and realistically could survive) without a kettle for a couple days. We have an old Keurig that is used by family when they come to visit, or I can simply heat water in a sauce pot on the cooktop. It just is different (if you own a kettle and use one regularly, you know what I mean). I was totally fine and I recognize that this was the definition of “first world problem”

Third and final note, this was meant to be taken lightly and humorously. I thought it was quite funny that a simply tea kettle caused an “uproar” of humor for me and figured I would share in a funny manner. I hope you enjoyed!

acuppacosyLeave a comment

Sunday Evening Chat (aka supposed to be Friday Morning, but I missed it)

As moms (and parents in general), we’ve got some pressure.

▫️

The pressure of raising a being who is entirely reliant on you. The first few years are like nothing else. A baby needing you 24/7, then a toddler demanding your sole attention at all waking hours. It seems like the days are never ending (even though they say the years are short-which they are).

▫️

The pressure of putting on the “facade” of a “happy, beautiful mom with her happy beautiful children”. The pressure of constantly feeling “on” all the time.

▫️

The pressure of a clean home, ready to greet visitors, friends and family alike, and then the pressure of feeding and hosting those visitors.

▫️

The pressure of needing to do all the things for all the people all the time. Of constantly needing to feel like you are handling everything, taking care of everything and everyone. Making sure everyone is happy, healthy, and fed.

▫️

Finally, the pressure not to complain. Not to talk about how hard it can be. To only share the good, the positive. To put a smile on and brush any problems or struggles under the rug. To talk about the problems is to be ungrateful, to be airing stuff that just shouldn’t be talked about. This is just what t is to have children and deal with it.

▫️

Some of this pressure is just being a mom (the children are reliant on you after all and there are things that we have to do as mothers), some of this pressure just comes from who we are as a person. Some of this pressure comes from outside voices. Voices who judge us for who we are, what we do, how we handle ourselves and our family.

▫️

All this pressure is bullshit and insane. But it’s there.

▫️

How do we handle this pressure? How do we make sure we don’t bottle it up and let it take over bit by bit? How do we manage? How do we make sure that with all the pressure we don’t break?

▫️

Sometimes it feels like we are balancing on a tightrope with plates and cups stacked up high on our head. One wrong step and everything comes tumbling, no crashing, down. How do you do it? How do I do it? How do any of us do it? I wonder because we all do it.

acuppacosyLeave a comment

“Don’t You Want A Little Girl”

***Disclaimer (although I feel crazy for having to even put this here): I know I could have had the same traits and such with a girl as with a boy. The relationship is different. I am pulling on my own relationship with my boys, as well as relationships with mothers as a daughter/in law. Instead of saying “but it’s a girl”, let’s just let the post be what it is.***

I hear the question: “Don’t you want a little girl?” or “Are you going to try and have that little girl”, way too many times. I was bless with two wild, rambunctious little boys that I wouldn’t trade anything in the world for. 

I’ve never felt that calling to have a little girl. Sure, I saw how sweet they could be and how I could have a little “mini me” in a little girl, but I never was the person who said I want/have to have a little girl. I always wanted boys for as long as I could remember. I always wanted to have that wild, adventurous, fearless spirit to raise and nurture. I wanted to have wrestling matches, to see them get dirty exploring their world, to feel that Mother/Son bond. To have the comradeship of brotherhood. 

D’Corzo Photography | http://www.dcorzo.com | 2018
D’Corzo Photography | http://www.dcorzo.com | 2018
D’Corzo Photography | http://www.dcorzo.com | 2018

I’ve read (and heard) the quote: “Little boys bring you to the brink of insanity before gently easing you off the edge with a sweet kiss and laughter from a perfectly timed fart” and I can assure you that that is completely accurate. I wouldn’t live life any other way. 

SO, no I don’t feel like I am missing anything by not having a daughter. No, I do not want to try for that little girl as I have exactly what I want now. I feel so incredibly complete between my husband and our two boys. Nothing can change that. 

acuppacosy1 Comment

One Small Act

There used to be a commercial on TV (it may still be on- I’m not really sure) that had a whole sequence of people doing kind acts for each other. It went through and said so and so did this for so and so who then did this for so and so and on and on. It cycled through about 7 instances and after each, the person would smile and do an act of kindness for the next person who needed it. Seems like a common occurrence (or common decency) in our everyday, right?

Wrong.

I have to say, somewhere along the way of the past few years we’ve really lost our sense of kindness towards others. Our sense of compassion. 

Maybe it’s the state of the world we live in. Maybe it’s sensationalized news stories. Maybe we are all just too wrapped in ourselves, our lives, our things and our technology. I don’t know. All I know is I don’t see many of those little acts of kindness anymore. 

I’m tired of making excuses for this lack of kindness. It’s not something we do intentionally, but the rationalization that we give for poor behavior is insane. The whole “maybe they are just having a bad day” or “Well there is obviously more than meets the eye” is unacceptable. Maybe you are having a rotten day or something else is going on, but it doesn’t give an automatic get out of being kind card. 

I want to bring kindness and compassion back. I want to start seeing people pull away from their own lives and be drawn into the world. Stop and say hello to someone. Offer a seat. Come out of your own little bubble, your own life and look around you. Is someone in need of help? It could be as simple as holding a door, or offering directions. It may be more complex. Whatever it may be, that person will remember and thank you for the kindness you showed. That may have been all they needed to put a smile on their face. Or, they may not appreciate it at all. They may grumble and just move on. Honestly it shouldn’t matter what their reaction will be. In the end, you will feel better and more connected to what is going on around you.

I want to challenge you to find a couple ways to show kindness (and compassion) in your everyday. I know I will be. 

acuppacosy2 Comments

To My Little Bear on Your First Birthday…

Man the big first birthday. How have you already been in this world for a full year? Where has the time gone? More importantly, how have you grown so much in this short little period of time? It’s hard to believe that it’s been a year, but here we are. Celebrating your first birthday the way we do, just a small family moment. 

Over the past year I have seen you grow, watched you learn, discover, play, fall down and then promptly smile and get back up. I have watched you struggle with colds, with those darn teeth, and with getting a break from big brother (he sure does love you though). I have watched you learn how to roll, crawl, stand, and walk with assistance. You’ve found a love for food (you’re gonna eat us out of the house), laughing, music, and a special love for your big brother. 

You’re a reserved little guy at first, but will open up and just give the biggest, brightest smile. That smile that lights up your whole face and will make the whole world smile along with you. You’re laugh is infectious and while you may not totally share your brothers endless supply of energy (thankfully), you still are quite a firecracker. You are really starting to grow your own little personality and I can’t wait to see it shine through even more.

As I sit here trying to figure out what to make for your first birthday cake (and your first dose of sugar), I’ve been trying to think of a good way to put the first year of your life, but there are no words (well that’s a little strange considering that I’ve typed 249, wait 250 words now). What I mean is that this past year has been priceless. Every little moment with you has been incredible and you’ve brought so much joy into our little family.

Happy Birthday Andrew Gage. We love you so much. 

acuppacosyLeave a comment