To My Boys Who Made Me A Mom

To my boys who made me a mom-

I’m going to go all mushy and disorganized here for a minute-although what else is new?

Sure this day may be all about appreciating Mothers and all that they do, but I want to take a minute for the boys (and my husband) who actually made me a mother.

When we first found out I was pregnant with our first, there was a nervous excitement. This was what we had wanted. What we prayed for. What would change our lives forever. We experienced that same feeling (then followed by a whole lot of sickness) with our second.

While I may remember what life was like before kids, I can’t imagine our lives without these two. These boys are the lights of our lives. They have brought such a happiness to our family and home. Watching them grow and learn has been the greatest joy of my day to day.

I love you both so incredibly much (so much so, sometimes it hurts) and thank you for letting me be your mom. For giving me the ultimate blessing of motherhood. I will always be there and will always work hard to be the best mom I can be for you.

To my husband- I couldn’t do this without you. Aside from the obvious biological reasons, I couldn’t imagine raising these boys or living our little life we’ve made without you.

acuppacosyLeave a comment

Motherhood.

Your whole world changes. You hear the heartbeat on the Ultrasound. You feel those light little kicks in your belly. Those first few contractions and signs of labour. Hearing the cry of your child for the first time. All those months of growing, planning, preparing and suddenly there he is. That little boy that you had once dreamed of having. Tears slowly start to fall from a cocktail of hormones, relief, joy, love, exhaustion, and a little bit of pure happiness mixed in. I remember both of those moments like it was just one minute ago. I remember the moment when the boys went from being a movement in my belly to a baby on my chest. Each time my life (and my husband’s) drastically changed.

I would not change it for the world. 

Motherhood is giving your whole life, your whole being over to someone else. Each of my boys has a piece of me that I will never get back. I love that and I wouldn’t change it for anything in the world. Not on the days that my patience is put to the test. Not on the days where I feel like I’ve failed them. Not on the days where I know I could give just a little bit more. Because that is Motherhood. 

I say all of the above, and now I’m going to say that Motherhood is not just taking care of your children. No, it is taking care of everything and everyone. Motherhood is becoming selfless in almost all senses. 

{I say almost because I still 100% believe that you have to take care of yourself before you can take care of others and to do that you must be selfish at some points.}

It is taking care of your children, your home, your significant other, yourself. It is learning how to balance all that life has to offer, to not only survive, but thrive in. It is learning how to fill your cup up while filling up others as well. It is finding your voice and using it. It is becoming the strongest person that you (and your spouse/children) know. It is about finding the good moments even when it seems like everything is rough. It is all these things and many more. 

For all of that, I salute any mother. Right now, I say thank you. Thank you for everything that you do. 

There is something that just clicked when I became a mother. Everything fell into place and even though I struggled (and boy did I struggle with our first), I knew, inherently, that I was doing exactly what I was meant to be doing. I was blessed with these little boys; to raise them, guide them, be there for them. It’s only the second time I have felt this overwhelming true feeling. 

It’s scary as hell, knowing that you are responsible for these little beings. That they are wholly dependent on you for a time, and at times I sure have wondered if I’m doing everything right. I’ve had plenty of moments of questioning myself, feeling like I’ve failed at one aspect or another, but in those moments I just try to remember that this is what I’ve been meant to do. 

I firmly believe that we are given no more than what we can handle. That even when life and things seem so overwhelming, that we can handle it. So, we carry on and move forward. We put our heads down and get through the rough phases because we know, that not only can we handle it, but that the other side of this phase is going to be wonderful. We try to survive and thrive in the rough phases and sit back and enjoy the smooth phases. 

acuppacosyLeave a comment

Mid Week Meltdowns

Almost every week, like clockwork,  we have one day that is just all around rough.  A day where it just seems like both boys spend the day in tears, fighting, or just overall in a yuck mood. It has become such a part of our life, that I have coined the term “Mid Week Meltdown” to put a name on that day. Mid Week came from the fact that it is typically on a Wednesday. The exact middle of the week and both boys just go off to another world. Mid Week Meltdown days typically look something like this:

Now, we don’t experience this every single week, but it does occur quite frequently. While I don’t have a perfect way of dealing with these days, I have honed down just a couple of tips to keep myself sane, and then in turn help me help the boys out. This definitely isn’t perfect or even the best answer, but I have found that on days where nothing seems to be working, these are the things that I try to keep in mind on these days.

The first thing I try to remember is that it is just a phase/day/season. It will not stay forever. These rough days (or even full patches) are just that. They will come to an end, and both myself and our children will come through them with new tools. No matter how long the time may seem, it will resolve (or it’ll be bedtime haha).

The second thing I try to keep in mind is that my oldest is only two years old. He doesn’t possess the full vocabulary and knowledge to express everything that he is feeling/going through. Hell sometimes he can’t even truly express what he actually wants. Their brains are developing and while we can (and do) teach him, there are times when he just isn’t able to communicate what exactly it is that he needs in that moment.

What I have found in dealing with this is that alone time can be crucial. Hear me out with this one as it is an important lesson to learn, even with newborns. When the point comes (and it will come) that quite honestly NOTHING seems to be working. No tool in your toolbox is helping yourself or your kid and both of you are reaching the end of your rope, separation is key. Honestly I find that putting our oldest in his room- separating him from not only whatever it is that is causing the frustration and from me (who at this point is dwindling and holding on by a single piece of hair) solves a lot of the issue. We both have a chance to cool down, me in the quiet, him in the sanctuary of his own space, and just a few minutes later we re unite and are actually able to talk (and hug) and all is right again.

I don’t treat this as a time out. He has had time outs before and with those his toys are picked up off the floor in his room and he has a set period of time. This is more of a comfort time. Where he just needs the sanctuary of his own space where he can just take a moment to collect himself. We all need this time, even as adults.

Now, heading to rooms and walking away is not the first choice. It is not something I do right off the bat. I usually try and work with our oldest and see if we can work together to figure out whatever is causing the problem. However there are times where the only thing that will really work is him going into his room and take a little break. When these times come, I am more than happy to let him go into his room, his sanctuary, and take a moment to himself. 90% of the time he takes a couple of minutes, calms down, and it’s as if nothing ever happened. We have some squeezes, a kiss and off we go to play.

Have you experienced a meltdown? What are your tips?

acuppacosyLeave a comment

Real Talk: Winter Blues

Let’s face it- February and March are two of the hardest months of the year. All of the momentum and excitement from the New Year is starting to wear off and winter is usually the worst in these two months. The slump because real when the skies seem to be a never-ending shade of grey, the temperatures are frigid (although we have had a couple good days) and those super cute summery clothes are mocking you from the deep recesses of your closet.

While I personally am a fan of grey, rainy, dreary weather, I too can become a victim of the Winter Blues. When everything becomes stagnant, and there seems to be a general slump of feelings and just sadness. As cheesy as it sounds, the sun plays a vital role in your feelings and well being. It’s always cheery when it’s sunny. Right now though it’s a rough time of year and it is super easy to just let those feelings take over your life and seep into everything you do.

I recently posted about my top 5 tricks to getting out of a bad mood/day, which you can find HERE. This Real Talk is kind of an extension of that, because this is such a time of year for these types of feelings. The Winter Blues are kind of a tough cookie to deal with because it’s not always so simple to break out of those slumps. Sometimes it’s all you can do to just hold on and ride the slump out till better days hit. If you can though, it’s always better to try and pick yourself up and keep moving forward.

So, how do you do that?

Find one positive thing in everyday. This may sound like an over simplification, and in some ways it is, but realistically if you try and focus on the good the bad doesn’t have a chance to take over. The positive thing may only be that you got out of bed and put on real clothes instead of just sweats or it may be that you crossed every item on your to do list off. It doesn’t matter how big or little you think the positive thing is, find it.

By making a choice at the end of everyday to find one positive thing you will not only find that there are more than a few positive things, but you will find yourself a little more energized to do more the next day. By continuing to focus on the little “wins” of everyday, you will slowly turn your mindset around and before you know it, you’ll be out of that Winter Blues slump.

So what do you do when the Winter Blues hit? Do you find that you are able to quickly bounce through those blues and back to a happy mood or does it take you a little while to get back into your happy place?

acuppacosyLeave a comment

The 5 W’s of A Cuppa Cosy

I wanted to take a quick moment today and touch base with myself, with you, and just lay out who I am (which most of you probably already know), what A Cuppa Cosy is/what I want to do, where, when, and most importantly WHY.

So…

Speier Family in Alexandria, VA

Who: If you’ve been around for al little while you know who I am. If you’re new, hi! I’m Mia, a wife, mom, homemaker, business owner, and employee. I am a lover of all things cosy, an avid reader, a serious tea drinker and a semi adventurer. There are a few things I am passionate about (aside from my family) and those things are: mental and physical health, travel and being 100% in every aspect of your life. I don’t mince words, I wont BS you, and will always be 100% authentic.

What: This is a place for me to share my life, my stories, my everyday to help you not feel so alone. A feeling of meeting up with a good friend a chatting over a cup of tea/coffee. Someone that you feel like you are right in the trenches of life with in a place where not everything is perfectly curated with all the sunshine and daisies. A place that is true to every aspect of life, the good and the bad. I want to create a community of women and moms who are just experiencing life together.

Where: Well, I’ve got this blog which will feature 2 posts a week, along with a Facebook Page (HERE) and Instagram Page (HERE) for everyday day glimpses. I will also have a Facebook Group for the community and all of us to share day to day, but that is currently in development. Like & Follow the blog and social media and check back for updates on the Facebook Group!

When: Blog Posts will be posted on Mondays and Wednesdays- Mondays being more of a recap/spontaneous style, Wednesdays being more of a tip or learning post.

Why: I see a lot of either end of the spectrum- the perfectly coiffed, always perfect, ready to go mom and family OR the over the top hot mess, don’t care mom. I have not seen a place where there is a middle ground. Where there is a place that is both good and bad and in a way that is completely real and authentic. I didn’t see a view of just a real woman who is going through real life- with all of it’s ups and downs.

I want to help women and moms by sharing my story/life and giving them a real community to share, learn, and uplift so they can be their best selves in their own lives (all while being as cosy as possible 🙂 ).

acuppacosyLeave a comment

A Lesson Well Learned…A Little Recap

I feel like I’ve had those back to back weeks where you just don’t catch a break. The first week was just a rough week. Everything that could go wrong went wrong and we all just tried to hold on to the ride. This past week, I felt like I was a hamster on a wheel; never stopping and never getting anywhere. I had SO MUCH that I was trying to accomplish. So many thoughts and ideas constantly going through my head, that it felt like if I didn’t get them out right then and there, they would disappear into the great unknown of my brain.

Basically, rough week followed by insane week. I’ll let you be the judge as to which type of week is worse.

It was around Wednesday or so that I realized I didn’t even know how I was spending my time. I was so far on the wheel, that I couldn’t truly account for where my time I had gone. Sure, I know what hours and work I had accomplished for my part time work, but beyond that- no idea. I was head deep in everything else that I needed to do, needed to get done, and needed to get out of my head that I hadn’t even taken two seconds to look outside. IMG_0491

It was a beautiful day on Wednesday. A perfect day some would say (seeing how the weather turned bad quickly, others may say it was a “calm before the storm”). The sun was bright, not many clouds in sight and whats more, it was the perfect temperature. I sat at our dining room table just stunned for a moment as the realization of what was going on hit me.

I needed to get off that wheel and get off it fast. I decided that lunchtime on that beautiful day would be spent outside, getting some rays (and Vitamin D!) and just overall reveling in what was a perfect little break. Not only did I come back in feeling much more refreshed and ready to get back into the thick of things, but I got some much needed free time with my children. Such freedom is found when you can just galavant across the backyard.

To top off my insane week even further, at some point in the past week my youngest started developing more of that “big boy” look to him. He is still young and is still a baby, but he just started looking and doing things that just made my mommy heart cry out- my little baby is starting to grow up. I didn’t even know when that had started, just a week ago he was still wanting to snuggle and sleep on my chest (ok, ok, he still does some of that) and now here he is, standing against furniture, babbling, scooting all over the place, and just overall acting and starting to look like a little boy rather than a baby.

It took these two “shocks” to my system to remind myself of a couple things.

One, I am never going to get these times back. My children are not always going to want to just run around with mommy in the backyard. They aren’t always going to find that little joy in the birds flying overhead or the trees swaying in an absolutely ridiculous windstorm.

Two, anything that falls with number one goes ahead of ANYTHING else. My little family is above anything else. It is so easy to get caught up in everything else that is going on and trying to get things done and it can be so hard to see that you are losing sight of what is truly important until you have a moment like I did on Wednesday.

We’ve had a relatively easy weekend, getting back from the insanity of the week and re grounding ourselves into our little family and just focusing on each other.

acuppacosyLeave a comment

Coming Back from “Hot Mess-Ville”

It was a rough week. To be brutally honest, I had one of those weeks where by the end of it, you are just grateful to have gotten yourself, your husband, and your children through the week unscathed. I don’t even know if I could tell you what happened to set the week off, or how we got to such a rough spot, all I know was that somewhere along the way I had boarded the express train to Hot Mess-ville.

Normally I can still keep my head up if it is just one person in our family having a rough week. I can up the care that that person receives and adjust everything else as needed. But when everyone is just in that rough spot, it makes it ten times harder.

Let’s see…

Our oldest was just having an “off” week. There isn’t anything going on with him aside from an exacerbation of the normal 2 year old problems. It seemed like everything was magnified and even the littlest things became a major temper tantrum. We did a lot of bedroom cool downs, mom/dad snuggles, and just lay and cries with him. The combination of him being such a stubborn independent child, with a very full, strong willed personality makes for some good and some bad situations. We are still trying to learn what works best for him and how to teach him.

Our youngest was having a nice amount of his own issues as well. He’s getting those two top teeth and he is an angry teether (our oldest was quite mild with teething until his canines and molars). We had a lot of fussing, A LOT of snuggling, but not a lot of day time napping. I know I shouldn’t complain because he is an excellent night time sleeper, but daytime naps play such an integral role for both of the children and when they are cut back in time or don’t happen it makes for a tough rest of the day.

On top of that, both boys are going through growth spurts. It seemed like I was trying to feed double our household. I know this is going to be a situation we frequently encounter as they are boys and will continue to consume more food than I thought possible (our oldest had 2.5 pancakes for breakfast one morning?!) for the rest of their lives. At times it seemed that we would never get a reprieve from the crying.

With all of that going on, I was dealing with a come and go migraine all week long and was overall just feeling all out of sorts. I felt like I wasn’t accomplishing anything when it came to day to day tasks (although I was) and there were a couple moments over the week that I just ended up “throwing in the towel”. My husband was trying to sort out what his new assignment and responsibilities would be.

Somehow though, we’ve all made it through the week and it’s time to put this bad one behind us as we step into a new week. Things seem to already be looking up as I am writing this as we’ve got the grocery shopping done for the week (cheaper than last week!) and I have a bit of free time to just relax before getting dinner ready. I fully plan on enjoying my cup of tea and getting a little reading done while the kids (actually) nap! Ah such bliss after a rough week.

acuppacosy1 Comment

A Not So Noteworthy Revelation | A Weekly Recap

I was thinking and thinking about what to write about today in this little recap. A lot has happened this week, but it was more of random bits and not really a huge post worthy situation. Little things here and there- Colton finally loosened the “sticking” of his door enough to open it without us, Andrew continued on his quest to conquer the entire house, me hitting my eye on the corner of our nightstand- but nothing that I really felt truly noteworthy. Then, in the course of my weekend, I realized something really important this past weekend and while it didn’t come as a huge surprise, it definitely solidified my thoughts in this stage of our lives.

Over this past weekend I decided to do something special for my business that would require my full attention for a whole weekend. Even though I would still be at home, my husband would be taking over all of the child care and just overall weekend chores. I’ve done a whole weekend once before at the end of September for a craft show, but for that weekend I actually left the house and was physically away during the day.

I think that it is so so important that everyone have some self care and take a little time to treat themselves, away from family, spouses, whomever. This self care can take different shape for different people and will be different lengths of time for different people. For me, typically, I’ll take a couple hours every couple weeks to go get pampered or go to the bookstore. This past weekend though, I decided to take a whole weekend and stay home, be by myself, and just read. *There is more to this, but I am shortening it for the point of this post.*

Honestly- I don’t think I will be doing it again at all in the near future. I’m just not in a space or time in my life that I really want to spend time without my children. I always knew that I wouldn’t be someone to be actively taking time away from my kids or traveling without them, but this weekend just continued to solidify that for me. Taking a couple hours of time away from them or having a date night out with my husband is one thing, but I do not want to actively choose to do things separately from them or spend a whole weekend without them.

It is quite simply not for me. If it works for someone else or is important to someone else that is completely fine, it’s just not for me. The whole weekend I felt like something was missing. Not that I was missing any big moments or anything super special, but not being able to just be doing the everyday things with them – I felt like something was missing.

My children definitely had their moments as well where they just wanted mommy and while I would take some time to be with them, it definitely wasn’t what was normal. I know that this is good for them and they had a good time with their dad and that it is good on all counts to have a little time away, but a whole weekend is a long time.

I honestly would NEVER judge another mom or dad who decided to take a weekend away and I know that this opinion may change as the continue to grow older, BUT at this time in our lives I just don’t think I could do it again. I think I’ll just continue to stick with a couple of hours here and there.

acuppacosyLeave a comment

Sharing is Caring…Right?

We have encountered a new “fun” problem in our home With a new mobile, very determined 7.5 month old and a stubborn, also very determined 2 year old this issue was bound to pop up sooner or later, it was just a matter of when…and over what toy.

Enter the toy (two toys actually)…the Little People farm animals from Fisher Price and a Thomas the Train train set (which yes, I know is a potential choke hazard – Littlest didn’t actually end up playing with them). One child peacefully, blissfully playing with a toy. Second child spots said toy. All chaos ensues because a temper tantrum is perfect at 9AM and we are only just entering the realm of sharing- our oldest is only just encountering the idea of sharing his toys.

I knew this day would come. I know playtime will sometimes be such sweet blissful moments of them playing together and there will sometimes be blow ups and tantrums over who had what toy and how to play. I couldn’t predict what would set it off, I didn’t know how we would handle it or what would work for the boys. What I do know is that sharing has now become a part of playtime for the past week or so.

Most of the time a simple “No, your brother is playing with that, why don’t you play with (insert toys across the room)” seems to do the trick. If they both are super determined to play with that same toy, we have a “divy it up” system, where one boy picks one part and the other picks a different part. Example: the Little People, we split up the animals. Sometimes they fight over the barn, but typically it is just the animals. By dividing the toys, they actually end up being able to play well together.

For those times neither of those works? Well, you’ve got me there. Most of the time there is an underlying cause that is causing the temper tantrum and once we can figure that out, things are good to go. If there isn’t, then it just has to be cried out. Sometimes our children just need to cry and as much as that may be irritating to us as parents, it’s what they need and I let it happen – even if it means they go to their room and do it while I enjoy a cup of tea in the living room.

How did you handle sharing? WE are still so new to this sharing/fighting bit that we are still learning and navigating the ropes.

acuppacosyLeave a comment

Planning in 2018

I’m a paper and pen kinda gal. I firmly believe in writing down goals, plans, to do’s and believe that it helps organize not only your life, but your mind. Once it’s written down, you are more than likely not only going to get whatever it is done, but you’ll feel better just by writing whatever it is down. I am not someone who really uses my phone as a main calendar, but rather as a back up system. I like to be able to disconnect and disengage from technology and by using a physical planner and journal, just makes it that much easier.

So, what am I using for this year? Excellent question. I tend to switch things up throughout the year, but one of my intentions last year was to stick through one single planner. This year I want to carry through with that same intention. I spent the better portion of the year in a bullet journal and considered that intention a success. While I love the bullet journal and think that it is great, this year I have decided to go back to a pre filled planner. At this point I really would like the bare bones of my planner already filled in and I can just write in my specifics.

IMG_7327This year I have picked out a Blue Sky and Day Designer collaboration planner from (big surprise) Target. I have used Day Designer planners before and I love them! I may actually end up going back to a full size Day Designer planner, but for now I have gotten this simple month and week layout going. I typically spend about 15 minutes or so Sunday Evening or Monday Morning mapping out my week and then about 5-10 minutes each morning with any specifics I want to mark down.

The other item that I have is my own personal journal. Once again, I am a firm believer in the paper and pen method and I write down 95% of everything. Some things I do not, but if something is bothering me or I’m having a rough time, I find that sitting down and writing it out helps so incredibly much. I try to write regularly and typically do about once a week (if not even more than that). It is just so helpful in getting things out of your head, off your plate, and a lot of times it helps me sort through my own thoughts.

This year I have a feeling I’ll be filling more than one journal, but I am starting with, yet another Target find, a Pink Light Design Notebook. It’s not what I typically go for, but I really liked it and I feel like it fit what I was hoping for for the beginning of my year.

So that is that! Those are the paper items I am using this year to help me stay on track for my year. Are you a pen and paper person? What are you using to keep organized this year?

acuppacosyLeave a comment