The Power of Yoga

If you follow me on Social Media you will have seen me talking more and more about Yoga. I’ve always been off and on with Yoga, but over the past year it has started to play a really big part of my life. It’s really become a time of sanctuary for me and an essential part of my weeks. I’m going to share a little bit about what Yoga just is to/for me.

We are constantly being pulled in a million different directions at any given moment. If you don’t think so, then just pay attention to yourself this evening. While you are sitting on the couch, what is going on? What are you doing? Perhaps the tv is on or maybe some music is playing. While the TV is on/music is playing, are you scrolling through your phone? Are you reading a book/magazine/newspaper? Do you have kids? Are they playing in the background?  Or even worse, the tv is on/music is playing, kids are in the background playing, we are talking on the phone to someone, AND we are making something or ordering something for dinner. How do we do so much all the time? No wonder we end up feeling burnt out after a while.

There are very limited amounts of time that we do not have this assault of things going on. That we unplug our mind. Unplug our body. That we just breathe and be in a space where we don’t have a million things. THIS is one of the things that Yoga is to me.

Yoga is so much more than just doing some stretching or poses and breathing exercises. It is about bringing a level of peace from our inner selves to our outer world. I’ve said it before, but yoga is the ONE time that my whole mind just shuts down and there is not a single wave of thought going through. I am able to just focus on my body, on my breathing, on just being present. I step outside (figuratively and literally) of the world of noise and into a world that is just peaceful. That is calm and devoid of distraction.

The only thing that Yoga asks of you is that you show up and be present. Be present in your moment. Be present in yourself, in your environment. To soak up the calm energy and allow it to flow through you. To just welcome the peace that comes when you stop and breathe. In a world of constant noise, of constant thought, of a mentality of “if you’re not moving/going, you’re missing out”, it is so important to pull away from that. To reflect. To breathe.

Something else that Yoga has really brought to me is a level of healing within my body and soul. I experienced trauma throughout my late childhood/adolescence/young adult life (which I talk about HERE if you want to read/are new) and Yoga has just opened up so many doors of healing. When I spiral, I can just deep into the calm of breathing, sit in a pose, and be able to break out of my spiral in a way that I haven’t been able to do before. It has brought a new level of healing and recognition of my own body and given me another tool for my healing.

One last bit that Yoga has opened me up for is just a knowledge of my body. When you are sitting on a mat working through your breathing, through your poses and stretching, you can become really in touch with the different parts of your body. When I wake up, do my “hard core” workouts, or just head out hike, I can immediately tell if something is off in my body. I attribute this to being in touch with my body, taking stock of my movements, during Yoga. This is a big help when I feel “off” or if I get injured.

Yoga has honestly just become such a big part of my life and I have become such a believer in its power. I highly encourage everyone to do it and will continue to just share my deep appreciation and love for the art. I look forward to deepening my knowledge and study.

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A Peak Into My Past

I have never shared this story publicly. I have never talked about this part of my past with anyone, outside of a couple of close friends and family. All of my healing has been done privately, in and out of therapy. Figuring out what works for me and how I would even begin to piece my life back together after the rug was pulled out from under me almost 16 years ago. I’ve finally reached a peaceful place in my life, partly due to finding love in someone else, partly finding the ability to love myself. The biggest part of my peace being the forgiveness I have given. 

Finding the peace within myself has allowed me to reach a point where I want to talk with and help others. When I first entered therapy I had sworn that once I had made my own peace, I would help others in any way that I could. I thought it would be something that I could do within a little bit of time and then I could get to helping others and speaking about this trauma that simply isn’t spoken about. Here I am 12 years later, only just now feeling like I can share this story. Only just now feeling that peace, that urge to share, and finally being comfortable enough to share. Finally at the point where I really feel like I can help others. Help them find their healing, help them see the light at the end of the tunnel. To be that person that I needed.

I’ll get into more of that at another time, but I want to give you my story. I want to publicly share the part of my past that I’ve never shared before. You may have read this already, if you read the linked article in Friday’s post, but I wanted to address it here. Directly on my blog. So, here we go…IMG_4702

I was emotionally abused for 10+ Years and physically abused everyday for 7 of those years (everyday for 5, off and on for 2) by a parent. The person who was supposed to be my guide, my champion, supposed to be everything, was instead my tormentor. I went through my childhood with the expectation of perfection placed on me (and criticized, put down, insulted if not) and my adolescent years with an unthinkable amount of fear. Child abuse is not just being scared, it is a traumatic event that changes everything. Everything about you, everything about your life, and everything about everyone you come into contact with. 

Before I even had the opportunity to have a voice, it was taken away from me. Before I could even understand what was truly right and wrong, what I wanted to be or do, what true happiness could be, I knew what fear was. Not just being scared of something, but true fear. True terror. In some ways I can’t put to words what I was feeling, but in other ways it is crystal clear. 

As I said to start this post, I have reached a good space. A space where I can handle the tough moments, when all of those emotions, fears, and moments come back. I feel like I am at that light at the end of the tunnel, when you know that the tunnel is coming to an end, but there is still a bit of darkness. It has been a long and tough road to get here, and it is a road that will continue for the rest of my life. I have also recognized that having gone through this, having worked through it, and having come out on the other side, I am a better person for that. I am a better wife, mom, a better person all together. 

I want to end this by saying that I will be starting to talk more about trauma, child abuse, and dealing with both of these factors a little more frequently on my blog. There will still be plenty of my usual happy go lucky content (as I am that happy go lucky, keep all things cosy, find the silver lining kinda girl), but I want to start sharing more of my story. I find that Childhood Trauma and Abuse is a topic that doesn’t seem to get enough attention (unless it is a major event) and it is something that is more common than we think. 

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