The Personal Development/ Motivational Book Challenge

Alright, I’m going to admit this one very unpopular opinion…I’m not the biggest fan of “self help”/personal development or motivational books. Maybe I’ve only gotten duds, but they always feel just a bit off to me. I get the whole “ra ra get your life together” feeling, but in the same book it also will make almost excuses for everything else going on. I’m more of a swift kick in the ass kinda person (haha kidding…maybe). Sometimes all we need is a blunt approach, rather than a soft it’s ok, you can accomplish it all now doing it this way. IT ALL DEPENDS ON THE PERSON, SITUATION AND MINDSET.

With all of that being said, I feel like maybe I’ve just gotten a couple of duds of self help and motivational books. With the year coming to an end, and everyone doing some reflection and planning for next year, I figured now may be as good a time as any to re evaluate my thoughts on Self Help and Motivational Books.

Here’s what I want to do…a challenge of sorts for the next month-ish. Tell me in the comments below, in comments on my Social Media Post, in an email or direct message, whatever, what is a self help or motivational style book that has changed your life. That you really found meaningful, was chock full of knowledge, that just changed your outlook. I will make a deal to read 5 of the most commented books over the next month (or two depending on how long they take).

If I haven’t read it, I will add it to a short reading list and I’ll start reading the books that you’ve recommended! With each book read, I’ll make a blog post detailing the recommendation, what the book focuses on, and my thoughts about it. Help me find some motivational reading that will change my life!

acuppacosy5 Comments

The Spider-Pocalypse : A Light Hearted Story about a Facing an Invasion of Our Worst Nightmares…

***Disclaimer: this is completely true story. This fear is very real. I know that there could be a lot worse and is a lot worse going on in the world. This is intended to be a light hearted attempt poking fun at my own fear.***

She woke early one morning, full of excitement for the upcoming day ahead. Quickly changing from her pajamas to her yoga clothes, she was looking forward to taking her morning flow/practice outside. It was finally starting to get cool enough (and not crazy muggy) to do her Yoga on the back deck and she had been eagerly waiting for this moment.

There is just something special about taking your practice outside, surrounded by all the wonderful morning sounds: birds chirping, breeze flowing through the trees, and of course a sunrise that only dreams contain. Perfection.

After changing, throwing her hair up into a loose pony, and brushing her teeth, she grabbed her mat and headed to the back door. She was about to crack it open when she saw it…

A spider. Suspended in mid air (in its web of course). Just hanging out. Blocking her way of getting to the back deck.

“No” she thought to herself. “No, no, no. This is NOT happening”.

In her mind, it was the beginning of the end.

***Now, I suppose I should clear something up. She was TERRIFIED of spiders. Borderline Arachnophobic and while bits of her fear were rational, for the most part it was a completely irrational fear. ***

Determined to still feel calm, she did her morning practice in her living room, curtains open, and tried to go about the rest of her day as if there was not a killing machine in the form of an innocent bug right outside her back door.

The next morning dawned, the spider was still there, this time joined by two more outside of other windows. This WAS not ok for her. She was FINALLY getting the cooler weather, where it wasn’t so oppressive to be outside and she couldn’t even enjoy it?!

***I suppose I should also mention that she did not kill spiders. Every time she had tried to, she didn’t actually succeed in killing the spider in the first attempt. I could go into a whole separate story about this, but we’ll just leave it at she was almost as scared to kill a spider as she was of the spider itself. As I stated earlier, irrational.***

Over the next few mornings the number slowly grew. When it reached 5, she told her husband that something needed to happen. They had to go. They couldn’t enjoy the weather they were waiting all summer to get. So, that weekend he went out to handle the situation.

10 spiders gone. 10 spiders. Spiders she hadn’t even known were there because she couldn’t get onto the back deck to see where they were. Spiders under the deck. Spiders in the back yard, the side yard. 2 had even caused her husband to remark on the size! She followed and counted as he kept spraying and spraying. Once it was done, she thought they were good to go on the spider front.

And they were. For a week or so.

Morning dawned clear. There was a brightness to the morning and as she opened up the blinds in preparation of her day she had a smile on her face. That is, until she saw it…

A spider. In the outside corner of her bedroom window. Hanging out in its masterpiece of a web (pun completely intended).

***If this sounds like dejavu, it completely is.***

“Is this ever going to end?” She thought to herself. They had just handled this and she thought they would now be good for the year.

Not a day later, she found three more spiders, one hanging out in their carport, another the other right next to their front door, one just off the front porch. Front door spider made getting the mail a lot of fun. Her older son loved the spiders. Every morning for the week the one was outside their bedroom, he would come in in the morning and watch it. His favorite? The morning the spider was eating it’s meal of an unsuspecting bee. He thought it was really cool, she did not really think so.

Her husband found the fact that the spiders had returned comical. She knew that he would eventually either handle the spiders again, or maybe they would move on their own, but until then he would get a good chuckle out of the whole situation.

The weekend came and her husband decided to power wash bits of the front of the house. This took care of two out of the four spiders. The spider right outside their window was a speedy one and moved just fast enough to avoid being sprayed by the water. It clung to its web in an upper corner and there it stayed for a little while longer.

Eventually that spider moved its web to another part of the house and all was well…for now…

***Authors Note: I know that once again, this is a ridiculous thing to get out of sorts with, but I’m trying to poke a little fun at my own fears and silliness from my day to day. Please treat it as just the lighthearted giggle that it has become. Also, in case you’ve seen on my SM, I wrote this at the end of September/Beginning of October. Since that time we have had a resurgence of Spiders. Rather than me continue to add on to the ridiculous length of this story, just repeat the couple last paragraphs over again in your head. I guarantee it was about the same reaction on all fronts. I hope you enjoyed!!

acuppacosyLeave a comment

Say Something. Tell Someone.

From the outside looking in, we were a happy family. How could we not be? All three of us, smiling cheery faces, eyes barely showing the cracks within us. And for a time we were happy. I’ll not deny that we had happy moments as a family. Moments that weren’t besieged with fear, with watching every step, every word.

From the outside looking in, you would NEVER have known what happened behind closed doors. You would never had known what fear the young girl was experiencing, what anger the mom was trying to control, or that dad was unaware for most of it.

That’s the thing about abuse. You don’t know. An abuser excels at hiding in public. A victim learns to shut up and become as little as possible. To not bring any attention upon themselves. Bruises can be hidden/written off/explained. You don’t truly know until someone says something. And a lot of times, when someone speaks up others don’t believe them. Especially in cases like mine, when we appeared to the world as a happy family.

But that’s one of the keys to healing, to moving forward. Say something. Tell someone. Speak up.

Living with abuse, or even living after the abuse has ended is like living with a constant weight. The weight of this enormous secret. Something that you’ve never talked about. It is a weight on your shoulders, a weight on your chest. It governs your every move, your every word, your every decision. Your every breathe is tainted by the weight of this secret. Even if you have left the situation where the abuse has occurred, your abuser still has power over you with this weight.

That’s the thing about abuse that no one really talks about. You leave, get out, walk away and it still follows you. It follows you mentally, emotionally, and physically. The weight of this secret is usually a big factor in the healing process, a big factor in all three of the ways abuse follows you.

Talking about it, telling someone, starts to lift that weight. It allows you to feel as if you can breathe again. You don’t have to tell the world, you don’t have to make any crazy public display, just tell one person. A friend, a stranger, a loved one. It doesn’t matter-just someone. Start lifting that weight off of your chest and start taking back control of yourself.

In fact, from my own experience, I had some folks who knew us as a family be shocked when I first spoke out. It was a surprise to some, not so much too others, but overall if I had never said anything no one would ever have known. I also knew though that I wanted to take back control. I wanted my voice back. I wanted to be “normal”.

While I’ll never be “normal”, I have become a person that I like again. I am no longer a shell, scared of the slightest thing. I’ve no longer got a weight on my shoulders/chest controlling everything. The first time I told someone that weight started to lift.

Talking about it, sharing my story, even just to one friend who already had an idea that something wasn’t right, allowed me to breathe a little easier. And slowly, ever so slowly because the healing process takes time, I started to take back control by talking and by writing.

I’ve faced some backlash, and I know others who have faced even more backlash than I have, but the freedom that we feel, the relief, that’s feeling of being able to breathe-that feels better than the backlash that comes. You may lose friends, you may face some backlash, BUT the freedom that you will get, the feeling of relief, the ability to breathe again without this weight. That is something amazing.

acuppacosyLeave a comment

Mug Collection 2018

Some people have a purse collection (…oh wait…I have that), some people have a shoe collection (…have that too), some people are me and have a mug collection. If you follow me, read my posts, look at my social media, or really just any of my pictures anywhere, I usually always have a mug in the picture. And usually…it’s a different mug almost every time. There are multiple reasons behind this, not just because I like my tea, or because I take life…One Cup at a Time (yep just went there), but also because I collect them. Today we are going to focus on my collection of Mugs!

Yep, that is my random collection of choice. I do collect handbags, shoes, books, tea, but the collection that typically gets the most questions/comments is the mug one! I definitely think it might be the craziest things I collect…

I started doing this a few years back when I was gifted a teacup and saucer as part of a wedding gift. It was such a beautiful piece of fine china and I had decided (quite on the spur of the moment) to get the matching larger mug. I loved that mug (still do, see below) and drank from it very regularly. It started this love of not only what tea I was drinking, but what I was drinking out of. I know it’s silly, but it’s just something that I fell in love with.

I figured it was time to share my “collection” with the world…or with the few of you that are subscribed to this blog and those that follow me on Social Media. One place for all of my mugs to live and you can see them all “side by side”. I wont be showing each individual mug as I have 55 (…yes…55…let’s let that sink in for a minute) and it would just end up being a really big, really long post. Instead I am going to highlight a few special ones throughout my collection.

***I feel like I should interject something here. 55 is a crazy number. I totally see that. It’s just one of those things-almost like a guilty pleasure.  I do use all of the mugs that I own and I do try to be realistic when buying.  I try to limit my mug purchasing by only purchasing mugs that I really like, and can see myself enjoying. I try to avoid impulse buying. This is something that I actually extend into all of my money spending habits.***

IMG_7150First I am going to touch on where I “display” them all. I’ve got a cabinet that is in our living room, and most live on the top two shelves, with a couple on the bottom shelf (the bottom display shelf is mostly tea). I’ve got them grouped together: the top shelf being my The Cosy Book Shoppe Mugs, my Rae Dunn larger mugs, my Inky and Indigo collection, and the middle shelf being my Anthropologie, Emma Bridgewater, and miscellaneous (which changes as I pull out the couple of seasonal mugs I have…yes I have a couple of seasonal-aka Christmas-mugs). The rest of the mugs live in the inner cabinet (not shown here) and they are the mugs that are lesser reached for at this time, there is one mug in there that I still reach for semi regularly), or have sentimental value.

So, without further ado, let’s look at some of the mugs.

 

The one that started it all:

IMG_7105

The two that I consider the most special:

My recent favorites (that I’m reaching for most currently):

IMG_7116

My most recent addition:

IMG_7182

So, there you have it! If you want to see a specific one, or having questions on where I bought one, please just comment or message me! I’m always happy to share!

acuppacosy4 Comments

On Our Anniversary

October 18. 4 years.Mia-349

Every year I’ve had the words to say on this day planned out weeks in advance. What words, which throwback picture, and I look forward to this day with baited excitement for those few weeks. A day for just us. A day to celebrate our union, the day we said I do, the day we pledged our lives together. A day to celebrate the enormous love we have for each other.

This year is really not very different. I’ve had the words planned in my head for a couple weeks. The image picked out, everything sort of set in place in my mind. But on reflection, this past year has taught me a lesson. One that my husband has been saying every year, but I just love celebrating this day so much so we celebrate it anyway.

Celebrating anniversaries are important. It is important to acknowledge the milestones in life, to take a moment to reflect on what happened. It’s why we celebrate the birthdays of children, and our own up to a point. It’s why we have memorial days and personal dates that are important to us. We acknowledge these days every year, reflect on whatever made that day special, and then move on with our lives. We may take it a step further and throw a party, go on a extra special date night, light a candle in remembrance (or on national/federal holidays throw a parade). Ultimately though, the day passes and we trudge on with life.

Here is the lesson I’ve paid more attention to and learned over this past year of marriage: We don’t just celebrate and show our love on this one day every year. We celebrate it every day. In the kiss my husband gives me early in the morning as he heads off to work. In the “Goodnights and I love you’s” of every evening. In the small acts of help, kindness, and love that are peppered throughout our days/weeks/years over the span of our lifetime. When we bump into each other in the kitchen, or slip a smart ass comment to each other on a slow Sunday morning. In the quiet moments of an evening, snuggled up on the couch, grateful for each other and for the quiet moment together. We constantly celebrate and show our love.

It’s not a one day event.

So, while I want to celebrate our anniversary and enjoy today, it’s not just today. I love this man with all my soul. I loved him 7 years ago when I met him. I loved him 4 years ago when we said I do. I loved him 2.75 years ago when we welcomed our first child. I loved him 16 (ish) months ago when we welcomed our second child. I love him more today than I ever could have imagined. And finally, I’ll love him more tomorrow (and the next day, and the day after that and the day after that) than I thought was possible today.

Life is not easy, we have our ups and downs, we go through trials and roadblocks, and massive, incredible, sometimes insane adventures. But through everything one thing has remained constant. Our love.

So, this year, on our Anniversary, just know we celebrate our love. Our union. The passing of time together. And after today has ended, we will still celebrate our love.

Cheers to 4 years. I love you.

 

acuppacosyLeave a comment

The Power of Yoga

If you follow me on Social Media you will have seen me talking more and more about Yoga. I’ve always been off and on with Yoga, but over the past year it has started to play a really big part of my life. It’s really become a time of sanctuary for me and an essential part of my weeks. I’m going to share a little bit about what Yoga just is to/for me.

We are constantly being pulled in a million different directions at any given moment. If you don’t think so, then just pay attention to yourself this evening. While you are sitting on the couch, what is going on? What are you doing? Perhaps the tv is on or maybe some music is playing. While the TV is on/music is playing, are you scrolling through your phone? Are you reading a book/magazine/newspaper? Do you have kids? Are they playing in the background?  Or even worse, the tv is on/music is playing, kids are in the background playing, we are talking on the phone to someone, AND we are making something or ordering something for dinner. How do we do so much all the time? No wonder we end up feeling burnt out after a while.

There are very limited amounts of time that we do not have this assault of things going on. That we unplug our mind. Unplug our body. That we just breathe and be in a space where we don’t have a million things. THIS is one of the things that Yoga is to me.

Yoga is so much more than just doing some stretching or poses and breathing exercises. It is about bringing a level of peace from our inner selves to our outer world. I’ve said it before, but yoga is the ONE time that my whole mind just shuts down and there is not a single wave of thought going through. I am able to just focus on my body, on my breathing, on just being present. I step outside (figuratively and literally) of the world of noise and into a world that is just peaceful. That is calm and devoid of distraction.

The only thing that Yoga asks of you is that you show up and be present. Be present in your moment. Be present in yourself, in your environment. To soak up the calm energy and allow it to flow through you. To just welcome the peace that comes when you stop and breathe. In a world of constant noise, of constant thought, of a mentality of “if you’re not moving/going, you’re missing out”, it is so important to pull away from that. To reflect. To breathe.

Something else that Yoga has really brought to me is a level of healing within my body and soul. I experienced trauma throughout my late childhood/adolescence/young adult life (which I talk about HERE if you want to read/are new) and Yoga has just opened up so many doors of healing. When I spiral, I can just deep into the calm of breathing, sit in a pose, and be able to break out of my spiral in a way that I haven’t been able to do before. It has brought a new level of healing and recognition of my own body and given me another tool for my healing.

One last bit that Yoga has opened me up for is just a knowledge of my body. When you are sitting on a mat working through your breathing, through your poses and stretching, you can become really in touch with the different parts of your body. When I wake up, do my “hard core” workouts, or just head out hike, I can immediately tell if something is off in my body. I attribute this to being in touch with my body, taking stock of my movements, during Yoga. This is a big help when I feel “off” or if I get injured.

Yoga has honestly just become such a big part of my life and I have become such a believer in its power. I highly encourage everyone to do it and will continue to just share my deep appreciation and love for the art. I look forward to deepening my knowledge and study.

acuppacosy1 Comment

A Cuppa Cosy Heads International!

Yep, you read that title right! We are heading out of the United States and are so incredibly excited to do it! For the next few years we are going to be residing in Germany, learning about the culture, the history, exploring all over Europe, and blogging all about it!

I don’t normally speak about what my husband does, or really talk about him much at all, and that is both for privacy and security reasons. He is a relatively private person and I definitely respect (and love) that part of him, BUT I do want to say that the reason we are moving is to do with his job. He is in the military and we jumped at this opportunity when it presented itself.

We are so incredibly lucky to be able to move out of the country and explore somewhere completely new. It is not something that we are taking for granted, nor something that we are approaching lightly. We plan on truly absorbing everything that Germany (and Europe as a whole) has to offer. I can’t wait to share our experiences over the next few years and see where this journey takes us!

I will touch a little bit on our process for anyone that is wondering or is looking at a similar situation. For us (aka for military families) it’s all about timeline. The preparation stuff so far hasn’t been so bad. The biggest thing is just handling it early enough, so you don’t feel a bottleneck of stuff to do close to your move. I know that sometimes this isn’t a possibility, thankfully it is in our case, but if you can handle as much as you can as early as you can then that will really help the ease of a move. I will share once we get closer to our actual move date more tips and tricks that I have found in a single post.

We are both very excited about what the future holds for us and what this new path is going to be like!

acuppacosy3 Comments

Real Talk : Priorities and Prioritizing

Whether you are a Stay At Home Mom, a Student, a Business Owner, or the Head of a Corporation, we all have a running to do list. A list of things that we have to accomplish or we will not reach our goals. Sometimes that list grows longer and longer and it starts to feel never ending. Some days we feel like we don’t cross anything off, or like there is no way to get it all done. Some days we experience that self doubt of “Can I really do/handle it all?”.

As I said on Monday, there is no such thing as “doing it all”. It is simply not realistic. You can come close, but there is always a sacrifice somewhere. If we can’t “do it all” we have to know what we want to do. What is most important in our day to day. So how do we do that?

The first step is figuring out what is important to you and in what order do those items fall into. For me, being a Wife and then a Mom are my top two most important things. I will choose those two over anything else. Example, if my children are sick and they need my full attention, everything gets shelved for that day. Same with my Husband. The rest of the list falls into line with my business/blog, my job, then myself. I put myself towards the bottom of the list only because I know that if I start to feel burnt out or need a little breather I will take that. Once you have this narrowed down, it is easier to look at your day to day to do list and see what you will need to prioritize for the day.

The second step of prioritizing is saying No. Prioritizing gives you is an easier way to say “NO”. Sometimes we simply cannot do something, but we feel like we have to say yes. There is such a pressure put on us, especially women and especially mothers, that we have to say yes to everything, do everything, and look good doing it (although that’s certainly a topic for another post). I will repeat myself, IT IS NOT POSSIBLE. Wouldn’t you rather spend your time doing things and being with people that are important to you, rather than giving an attempt at balancing a whole bunch of other things that you don’t really truly care about? Say no. If it is going to throw your priority list out of whack, or it doesn’t fit in with your list, and you don’t absolutely have to do it (i.e. a job or task for work), say no.

What are your priorities and how do you prioritize to make sure you feel like you are handling everything you want to handle?

acuppacosy1 Comment

30 Day Challenge – Half Point Check In!

It’s been about 2 weeks when I took a *mostly* Sugar Free 30 Day Challenge. You can read that post HERE. I’m about halfway through the month and I figured I would give a little update as to how it is going!

So my end goal was to do a complete re set of my body when it comes to sugar. I found myself eating a lot of candy and junk and I wanted to quite with that. Now, sugar is in a lot of items, and our body sugars are controlled by a lot of different food groups (carbs is a big one), so I decided to narrow down the idea of Sugar Free.

I’ve only cut out what I would call “junk” sugar, so candy, soda, cookies, etc. The only “treat” that falls into that category I’ve allowed myself is Banana Chocolate Chip Muffins. This was a great alternative as the sugar in the muffiins is from the chocolate chips (only ½ cup for the whole batch), honey (instead of straight sugar), and the banana itself. This is a great alternative and I’ve found that it satisfies the whole sugar craving.

I don’t normally have much of a sweet tooth, so for the most part cutting out candy and soda hasn’t been too bad. I’ve also preferred salty over sweet, but I’ve noticed that once I start eating candy, I don’t stop. Hence the 30 day challenge (again, check that blog post out, it goes into more detail).

I’ve only had one issue and that is a self made one. There are a brand of wafers out there that I absolutely love (and eat way too many of), but as of now I’ve only found them at World Market and on Amazon. I figured that would be my treat for getting through the month Sugar Free. I would head over to World Market, pick up a bag and enjoy them over the first few weeks in October (being diligent about portion control). Well…my mom was in town and we went to World Market her last morning. Those wafers are now sitting in my fridge taunting me…I can do it though! I am stronger than the wafers 😉

Otherwise, I have noticed a shift in myself. I’m not as groggy and sluggish and not as low energy as I was before. I’m not saying this is only because of the Sugar Free, but I do think that what we eat plays a large role in how we feel, mentally and physically, and when we cut out those junk items it makes a big difference. If you think about it, when you cut junk foods out of your diet and you start to physically and mentally feel better, you start to exercise, get out of the house, be active more because you have the energy to do that.

Basically, challenge is going really well! I’m sticking to what I wanted to accomplish and I’m super proud of that!

acuppacosy2 Comments

How Do I Do It All?

I get asked quite frequently how I manage to do everything. I am definitely not the busiest person out there, but I do juggle several different things between family, work, business, and personal goals. With all of this, it means that my time can, at times, be very “tied up”. A lot of times, people take one look at what I do, or my to do list, and look at me like I’ve lost my mind. Cue: “How do you do it all?”

Here’s the grand secret for you: I don’t.

There comes a time where we all realize that we cannot “do it all”. Anyone who tells you that they are, is more than likely either lying, or very very stressed out and tired. **I want to say, there may be a point where you realize that things you thought you wanted are either not what you want or not possible at this time of your life. In this case, you may feel like you are “doing it all” and in that case it may be accurate for you.** If I ever say I “do it all”, if those words are ever uttered out of my mouth, I need to be put back in my place.

First off, I have help. I have an incredible husband who does more than he sometimes gets credit for and is such a help. He will help clean up the kitchen after dinner, does bath time and bed time with the kids and most evenings will take over the bulk of playing with them, so I can get a bit of peace. Weekends are time for all four of us to be together and get some family time in and our weeks are structured so that we can successfully do that. Responsibilities are no joke.

Second, is a thing called prioritizing. I will be going more into this later this week, but it is a big part of getting close to “doing it all”. Every day I have to look through what I want to accomplish and be realistic. Some days I don’t manage to cross everything off, other days I do. At the start of the day, I write down everything on my to do list. Once my list is down on paper, I am able to pinpoint what my most important items are. What are the “emergency” must do things, and what can wait another day. This is ESSENTIAL.

If we look at our days in a realistic sense, there is only so much that we can do. We HAVE to be able to “give up” things, say no when we can’t give our all to something. It is better to do only a couple of things a day, but to do them well, rather than try and cross everything off, but only doing those things half way. I’ll be talking more about prioritizing on Wednesday.

Basically at the end of the day- I don’t do it all. I prioritize, schedule, and say no when I simply cannot do something.

acuppacosyLeave a comment