A Ramble On: Growth and Change

I’ve grown a lot in the past 5-10 years. Grown into myself, grown into my voice, grown into my niche spot of where I want to be. My confidence has soared and I’ve learned countless lessons. I am not the same person I was and I wouldn’t change that person OR this person. I had to be that person, go through life & changes to become the person that I am today. Some of those changes were hard. I stumbled a time or two, but here I am, all the better for it. 

Who I am today will not be the same person who I am in another 5-10 years. We are always changing as we go through life. As we keep learning and keep facing new challenges. That change is a good thing. I welcome the new opinions, the new goals and desires, the new conversations that I am experiencing. While the core of who I am has stayed mostly the same, my opinions, my outlook, my desires in life, and the way I see people and the world has changed. In fact, I am only just now finding my real voice and figuring out how I want to use it. 

As I continue to grow as a person, I don’t want to stay “stuck” in my same ways or mindset. I want to learn from every new experience and situation. I want to seek out new opinions, one’s that may be different from my own and have new experiences across the board. I may know who I am, but that doesn’t mean that there won’t be changes throughout my life. 

I don’t want to remain stagnant. 

I encourage you to do the same. You are always growing and changing; Experiencing life, turning into someone new. You are turning into the person that you are meant to be. Welcome that change and those new experiences. Seek them out. Get out. Out of yourself, out of your comfort zone. Have a new experience, talk to someone who had a different life than your own, who has different opinions than your own. Try to understand and see things through their lenses. 

Keep an open heart and an open mind. Don’t be stagnant. Grow. Learn. Change. Love every minute of it, even when it’s hard. 

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It’s Just My $0.02

This topic has been something that has been weighing heavily on me and to be honest, is not one that I really thought I would add my voice to. However, I feel like I have a duty to throw my perspective to the wind and share my thoughts. It’s also ironic timing as quite a few of the posts I’ve got coming up are about not caring about what others think, but I’ve got to get this out of my system. 

As a woman I’m always happy to see other women succeeding at what they choose to do. Whether that be take on a major company, a high up the chain job, or simply run the household. Women are a force to be reckoned with and I certainly feel that we can, and do, whatever we put our minds to do. 

I’ve been supportive of the drive of any person to do what their heart desires. I love that we all have a choice to do what we want to do, and if no one has done that before, we become the first to do it. I LOVE seeing this in my friends and in people that I don’t even necessarily know.

Let me be clear about something, I have a part time job, my own business, and my family. I work very hard at my job and my business, but I make a choice to be home with my children and to work around their needs. I have tweaked my days to perfection to allow for this and I am very proud of the fact that I am a Wife and Mom above all else. I choose to take care of our home and my husband and children. 

There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with this CHOICE. I would not judge another who decided that they wanted to work full time and have a career. That is a CHOICE. And how incredible it is that we can make that choice.

With my mindset being supportive of others in their dreams and desires, no matter what my personal dreams and desires are (because we are all different and want different things), I cannot believe the comments I have gotten in my personal life in regards to my choice. 

I am not any less proud to be a woman, or of the other achievements of women, simply because I am not breaking glass ceilings in the workplace. Because I enjoy cleaning the house, or making dinner for my husband. I also enjoy the work that I do everyday in my job and my business. I find fulfillment in every aspect of my life. 

Here’s a little food for thought to put things in perspective, while you are kicking ass in your job, or your career, or whatever it is that you’re doing, I am kicking ass in my home. In my job. In my business. As long as we are doing what we love, why does it matter?

Why should we look at a woman any less for CHOOSING or WANTING to stay home? With that same thought process, why should we look at a woman any less for CHOOSING or WANTING to go work? To break those barriers? It doesn’t make her any less than anyone else, nor does it mean that she is not supportive of other women breaking barriers. 

Let’s be real, the world isn’t going to move forward if we don’t have both types of women, so why don’t we all get off our high horses and move forward with supporting each other? We are all going through life, one of us is not “better” than the other and honestly, we could probably accomplish a hell of a lot more if we remembered that.

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Real Talk: Identity

identity

noun iden·ti·ty \ ī-ˈden-tə-tē , ə- , -ˈde-nə- \

1

a : sameness of essential or generic character in different instances

b : sameness in all that constitutes the objective reality of a thing : oneness

2

a : the distinguishing character or personality of an individual : individuality

b : the relation established by psychological identification

Who are you? What do you believe? What drives you forward?

Those may seem like daunting questions, especially if you don’t know the answer, but they are important to find out for yourself. There is a place for everyone in this world, you just have to find your space. Where you want to grow within yourself and as a part of your community. Where you feel that calling to be. All three of the above questions tie together to make up your core. From your core, you can make changes, you can make a difference in your life and others.

So, how do you figure out what your identity is? You live your life. From a very young age we start to figure out our likes and dislikes. We fall in love with places, things, ideas. We develop opinions and (hopefully) get into conversations with others about our opinions. We are exposed to new situations, constantly learning through each new problem, conversation, or experience. And slowly, through all of these, we start to get the groundwork for who we want to be. What we believe. What we want to do with our lives. In some cases we develop a strong case of identity very early on, but in most cases it takes until our mid 20’s before we really have a strong self of sense. 

While you may have a strong sense of self and have figured out who you are, it’s important to remember that we are constantly evolving and changing. Our identity shifts with new life changes and experiences. And who you were, may not be who you will be. I’ll expand on this in another post, but I wanted to touch on it. 

I think it is really important to know who you are as an individual, but I also recognize that it takes time to know that and that person can change throughout time. 

So, who am I? I’m Mia, a kick ass woman, wife, mom and friend. I believe that everyone is born to do great things, on always trying to find that silver lining, and making sure to take care of yourself. I find joy in the little everyday moments and in cosy nights at home with my husband in children. 

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What I Wore pt. 2: Finishing Touches

In pt. 1 I talked about fashion and clothing and an area that I was not the most comfortable with. I don’t really know too much on the fashion side of things (although I am slowly getting there), but something I am very familiar and confident in are the accessories. The finishing touches to an outfit. Handbags, jewelry, sunglasses- I love them all and I’ve always been a fan. 

So, how have my accessories changed over time? 

Outside of the fact that I’ve paired down my collections quite a bit, these days I tend to go for quality over quantity (or really over anything else). I love to have simple pieces that have a meaning beyond just having the piece. I definitely have a few staples that I wear everyday without fail, as well as some newer pieces that I’ve added. 

Since I’ve got this accessory thing down, and since I’ve shared my clothing choices, I figured I would share some of my favorite accessory pieces. Each piece has a bit of a meaning behind it, or a story as to when I bought it except one set of bangles which were bought just out of love for them (which is fine). 

I think my all time favorite accessory right now (aside from my wedding set, because duh) is the bracelet I am wearing on my left wrist. It was a recent purchase, but has a sweet story behind it. I’ve also gone back to wearing an actual watch (not a smart watch) and my favorite watch brand is Skagen. I currently own two, although the square one needs a new battery (I need help removing the backing on it otherwise it would have already been replaced). 

Other pieces aside from my watch, wedding ring, and bracelet tend to vary from day to day on how I am feeling and what I’m wearing. I tend to alternate between three necklaces (typical wearing the blue one everyday and switching up the others), and a few different bracelets. I’ve got a selection to choose from, but pictured below are my three favorites that I reach for at the moment. 

For the most part, I prefer simple and dainty for jewelry, with my sunglasses and handbags being where I “go big or go home”.  My current favorite pair of sunglasses are these Ray Ban Erika style sunglasses. I am just in love with them. My favorite bag to carry right now is my Whipping Post tote as it is just big enough for everything I’ve got to carry without needing a diaper bag (finally!). A close second favorite bag is probably one of my Kate Spade bags OR my Cambridge Satchel Co small bag. 

I’m pretty pleased with where things stand with my wardrobe at this point. I definitely want to add a couple more pieces of jewelry to it, but there isn’t too much more that I could even bring in!

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What I Wore pt. 1: Ditching the “Mia-Form”

I’ve never really been super into fashion. In fact, most of the time by the time I got “ballsy” enough to try a new trend or style it was usually out of style. Most of the times my style extends to jeans & a t shirt with a pair of boots or sneakers. 

When I joined the working world I switched to office clothes, but when we moved, had our first child, and I started working from home I headed right back to the jeans & a t shirt “uniform”. It is so easy for something that seems so simple, so insignificant to symbolize much more. Being a mom, often times we forget about doing the little things, such as trying to put ourselves together in the morning in more than the first thing that comes out of a drawer or closet.

One of my biggest tips, not only in life, but especially in being a mom and working from home is to not just live in your pajamas all day long. Getting into some sort of clothes (whether that is leggings and a tee, or a full on business outfit is up to you) is such a big boost to your day and productivity. It can make the difference between crushing your to do list, or falling flat. Not too mention that you appearance can be similar to a first impression of who you are. What do you want to say with your clothes?

I say this because I was starting to hit a bit of a plateau in my wardrobe and my day to day. I wanted to kind of get away from that jeans and tee look some days, but still remain somewhat casual as I am home most days. I found that jeans and tee were starting to be similar for me to just wearing sweats and I found that some days I felt like I just looked a mess. 

Slowly but surely I’ve been breaking that mold and while I still love a good ole jeans/t shirt option and wear it semi frequently, I’ve been trying to put more intention into my outfits. Putting on a skirt or dressing up a pair of jeans.

I decided for the past week or so to capture the outfits that I’m wearing each day as this past week has really been my turning point if you’d like to say. I’ve been doing a wardrobe clear out over the past couple months and I’m starting to really hone in on clothes that I’m comfortable with that aren’t just t shirts.

I would say at this moment, my style is comfortable with a bit of a twist. While I want to add a couple more dresses, a couple pairs of slacks, and another skirt to my closet, I feel like I am heading in the right direction for what I am wanting to accomplish. 

This was actually quite a bit of fun for me to do and then look back on. I might start doing this seasonally/quarterly and while I am definitely not a fashion guru in any way, I do not want to put up a clothing or accessory type post eery once in a while. 

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A Fresh Outlook pt. 2: Fitness and Exercise

I’ve always been an active person. From being a competitive figure skater, to playing soccer, to hiking and walking trails, I’ve always loved to have some amount of physical activity in my life. Sometimes that was just a simple walk at lunchtime, other times spending a day on the weekend hiking trails and discovering new lookouts. 

From about the age of 5 till 15, I was a competitive figure skater. This called for a very intense workout regiment and constant physical strain and pushing my limits. While I did enjoy it and learned a lot of lessons, it definitely took its toll on my body in many ways. When I stopped Figure Skating, I jumped right into playing Soccer for a little while. Another very vigorous and physical sport, but I loved it. I didn’t play for too long due to switching schools and I wish I could have played more and really honed my abilities. I definitely really enjoyed it. 

After participating in both of those activities, combined with heading into college, I decided that I wanted to start hiking and exploring rather than just playing sports all the time. With that decision though, I stopped being AS active in my everyday life. Shortly after that, I started working in office jobs and wasn’t able to just head out and go for a run in the middle of the day, or take my lunch break to work out. 

While I still maintained an active lifestyle over the past 3-4 years, there was a big change in how active I was. I was sitting more and more during the day and when I would get home I would be sluggish and not as active there either. I found that I missed those every day moments of activity and that adrenaline and endorphin rush that comes from working out and pushing your limits. 

A couple months before the New Year (2018), I quietly started working out again. Just 30 minutes early in the morning, before the boys woke up, down in our basement. I used a business that I had found through Youtube and just did a video or two (depending on length) in the morning. I eased into it, as they can be intense) starting at 3 days a week and leading into every weekday. 

I’ve now been working out everyday since January and, like eating healthier, I’ve seen such a shift. After a workout and a shower, I feel so good. I feel like I can take whatever the day throws at me, which is a big thing for me. I’ve also noticed, that while I was able to hike and walk trails for a while earlier, that has changed. I am able to go for longer before getting tired, go up higher, and even now carry my children longer if needed. 

I’ve always known that exercise plays a huge role in how you mentally and emotionally feel, but I didn’t know how big of a role it plays until I wasn’t able to work out for about a week. I definitely noticed a bit of a change just in the way I handle things. With that only lasting a little under a week, it wasn’t a huge deal, but I can definitely see how that change could grow if it was longer. 

At this point, I usually do the more intense workouts 3-4 days a week and then incorporate a little (about 15-20 minutes) of yoga 2-3 days a week and on the weekends. I really like yoga for just calming down and re centering (it also is a good workout just in itself). 

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Memorial Day

məˈmôrēəl ˌdā/

noun

noun: Memorial Day

  1. a day on which those who died in active military service are remembered, traditionally observed on May 30 but now officially observed on the last Monday in May.

Today is a special day. As you go about your holiday, having out by the swimming pool, having hamburgers/hotdogs, or just enjoying a relaxing day off at home, take a moment to remember what this day is actually about. Remember to pay respect to those who died defending our country. They put themselves in harms way to protect what we hold dear and made the ultimate sacrifice. Remember them. 

It can be as simple as a moment of silence to reflect, or you can go and visit a cemetery. Just do something to keep that memory of those that gave so much alive. They deserve it.

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A Fresh Outlook pt 1: Healthy Eating

*Small disclaimer- I did use to have a very unhealthy relationship with food and eating. I am still recovering and dealing with that every day. You can read about that HERE. I feel comfortable talking about this as I am in a relatively good place (with only a few rough days) and this mind shift has really helped me. 

When my husband was a Drill Sergeant and had a crazy schedule, meals became whatever was quick, easy, and there wasn’t much thought put into them. We were often eating dinner late at night due to his hours (we always eat dinner together and I wasn’t changing that) and I was a big snacker throughout the day. It wasn’t until we moved that I was able to implement a real change in our eating. 

When we moved almost 2 1/2 years ago I decided that we were cutting out the processed crap. I was going to cut all of those box dinners and get back to cooking meals. My husbands schedule tamed down a lot, didn’t have so many crazy or odd hours, and we were able to start meal planning a little better. Changing dinner meals was the easiest with of our lives and we’ve never looked back to those pre boxed quick meals. I actually can’t believe we ate as many as they did as most aren’t super good in taste.

The process of cutting out the junk food was a much harder road to travel. I am a huge snacker and for me, the only way to cut junk food was to cut out most of the snacking. I started by eating a proper breakfast in the morning and then really trying to focus on eating when I was hungry, rather than when I was bored. I also started to try and look at what I was actually eating, rather than just reach for whatever. 

At this point, I’ve cut soda to one a week, plain water and hot tea during the day to drink, popcorn (my guilty pleasure) once a week, and no other chips or really candy. I eat 3 meals everyday, and then if I still feel like I need a little more I’ll reach either for a bar or some fruit. 

To say that I have felt a shift is putting it very mildly. I’m not being “cooky” when I say it was like coming out of a fog. It is absolutely insane to realize how much just eating chips, or having some candy, or even a single soda can really do to you. Not only does my body just feel so much better and healthier, but mentally it is a whole separate ballgame. I find that I am much more even keeled and I don’t constantly just feel yucky. 

I would say the moment that everything clicked was when I was a few weeks clear of chips and candy. I really just felt light and clear in my mindset. I felt like I was just in a better state across the board with my body, my mind, and my emotions. I was able to just do much more because I didn’t have the extra “junk” of junk food in my body. 

That was when it clicked in my head. What fuels our body? In a very literal sense what fuels our bodies is what we actually put in. A lot of how we feel physical and even emotionally can be related to what we are consuming. Our bodies need nourishment in a most basic sense and what you put in is what you will get out. 

This is not only something that I learned not only throughout recovery, but in just experiencing different things in life. What I eat is more than just what I eat. It relates not only to my body, but to my energy, my mood and just my overall health. 

When you look at the idea of food being your fuel and you look at the big picture of what you are putting into your system, you start to get a crystal clear perspective.

Just a few years ago I was eating junk food all the time. I had chips and cookies everyday and a soda almost as frequently. We were having pre made box dinners at dinnertime (mostly out of ease and quickness of preparation than anything else) and while it didn’t seem so bad at the time, looking back I see just how bad I felt.

Hindsight is 20/20-although at the time, I very much knew that I wasn’t the healthiest with my eating habits. At this point we are eating almost all home cooked meals (there are a couple of exceptions here and there) and it has made such a difference. In fact, I would say eating healthier has made more of a difference than the workouts I’ve done. The workouts are great and needed, but where it all begins is with what you are consuming. It’s not a hard change, it just requires a little more thought at the outset. Once you feel the difference, you won’t go back to any previous eating habits. 

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Hitting a Road Block

Like any other person, I have my moments. I have my days, sometimes even my weeks. No one’s life is always perfect and I DO NOT want to even begin to portray that. I have always said that the biggest thing that I strive for (in all aspects of my life) is honesty. Always authentic and always 100% honest in what I share. This is my real life and when I have a hard time I don’t want to sugarcoat that or fake those very real bits of life. Sharing those moments is hard, but I feel like it is so so important so that we don’t get caught up in the wave that can be portrayed everywhere you look of perfection.

Life is a roller coaster ride. Some points are really low. Sometimes you have quite a hill to climb to get out of those low moments. This past week was that low point. 

I am a person who thrives on organization almost across the board (fun fact, the only exception to this is when we go on vacation). I can “go with the flow” at times, but mostly I thrive on having a general/rough outline of what is going on. I thrive on writing down my to do list every morning and checking off each thing as I go along. I thrive when I have a plan of action and when I can move forward with that plan of action. It is something that can be such a positive and something that I have really worked to my benefit over my life. 

Now, you may be wondering how this can be a downfall. Being organized, able to create a plan of action and get s*** done is a positive, right?

Not always.

For me, I struggle when I get a wrench thrown into things. When my rough outline of a day gets messed up due to whatever happened. And sometimes, that wrench that can really just mess with my head. Depending on what happens and how much it effects (what I have in my head as) my rough outline will depend on what my reaction level is. 

This is so hard for me to admit because I work really hard to balance so many different things in my life. To balance them perfectly so that every part of my life, and myself, gets what it needs. I’ve touched before about how hard, almost impossible, it is and how at some points things are going to go to the wayside. I didn’t take my own advice this past week to just let one thing go so I could be successful all around. 

So, what happened to make this a low point? It almost seemed like just everything was set against the week. Computer issues, Internet issues, getting caught up after a vacation, getting sick, and then the kids getting sick. I think around Wednesday, my positive attitude started really slipping and then by Thursday it was completely gone. I had pretty much given up on the week come Thursday afternoon. 

Giving up that positive attitude and that attempt to get all the things handled may have been a really hard decision (for me personally), but it is what saved my weekend. I wallowed and just sat in that misery for all of Thursday. Sometimes that is exactly what is needed in order to get to the climb to get out of the low point. And honestly, I did feel a little bit better when Friday morning came around. 

I took the weekend to just relax and just be in the moment. Since I had “given up” on the week, I took all that extra time to snuggle with the kids, obsess over the Royal Wedding (although I was going to that regardless), and just enjoy the sensation of “letting go”. To remember the advice that I’ve said time and time again about taking time to not have to do everything. 

I’ve learned some hard lessons this past week. I’ve had some lessons re affirmed, some new lessons learned, and have just had a chance to remember what I really want from my everyday.

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Real Talk: Body Image

This is a rather sensitive topic for me, given my own issues, but I really want to talk about our body image. While we were on vacation, I was sitting outside in this little pair of short shorts and a tank top that I would have normally felt a little self conscious in. As I was sitting there, honestly marveling at the fact that I was once again in a clear headspace to wear what I was wearing (and not immediately freak out), I had a moment to just think. Think about body image, body positivity, confidence, etc. 

Let’s be completely honest, no matter how confident you are, how comfortable you are within your own skin, we all have those moments. Moments where we second guess how we look. Whether what we are wearing really compliments our body, or if it highlights that one area you feel can never get back to where it was. It happens to everyone, men & women, at any age. 

In fact, I challenge anyone to be able to say that they have been confident and comfortable in their own skin all their life. If you are, that is awesome! I am not. I have not been that many a time. 

The self criticism is hard to fight and I’m not going to sit hear and say, oh love your body the way it is. The fact of the matter is, we all have those moments and that’s OK! I feel like these days, there is such a push of body positivity, loving our bodies, celebrating them. That’s all well and good, but it’s not always realistic. I don’t always love my body and I am not going to sit here and tell you that you must love your body.

It’s OK to not be happy about how your body looks, just like it’s ok to be perfectly content with how your body looks. It’s also ok to feel a bit of both.

I typically lie right in the middle of those two trains of thought. I love 75% of the way my body looks, but there are a couple of things I wish I could change. That is just how I feel. Is some of that simply just that little negative voice in my head (I’m sure you know the one I am talking about)? Yes. Am I working on changing what I can? Yes (and more importantly, I am doing it in a healthy way). So, why do I care about how I actually look in that particular outfit? Am I going to look any different in a different outfit? Maybe, but who cares. I felt so good lying in the sun, relaxing, watching our older boy run around in the grass. Why should I let thoughts of what anyone else (aside from my husband), including that negative little voice in my head, destroy that feeling?

So, what I really want anyone reading this to get, is that it’s OK to not be happy with your body and it’s ok to be body confident. What is more important to keep in mind is that no matter how you feel about your body, you can’t let that stop you from enjoying life. Wear what you want- do what you want. Have a little dress, or in my case, that pair of short shorts and wear it!

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