A Little Back End/Brand A Cuppa Cosy Reflection

***This post applies to what I’ve learned over the past year or so with my personal blog. It is not advice for anyone who is trying to run a business or have a full on brand. Just something I’ve come to learn/realize about myself, my blog, my “brand”.

I’ve been working on some behind the scene things in the blogging and social media world. Hemming and hawing over look, messaging, brand, a lot of back end stuff…

There is so much thought that goes into a lot of blog or Social Media postings for anyone. Even for the most random of personal blogs, there is still some planning and thought for posts. If you follow any influencer, or social media “assistant”, or really anyone who helps with these things, the big push is to know what your brand IS. Even as a personal blog it is important to know and differentiate what YOU bring to the table. Knowing that will turn a casual person who just stumbles onto a post into a lifelong follower or even a friend. So, it can be important.

A lot of times we are told to have one “thing”, something that stands out or makes us different from the other million blogs out there. A lot of times you’ll see it on Social Media, accounts use the same style filters for their pictures, or the same style of editing, similar captions…one cohesive look that is “them”.

This is not a BAD thing. It really works well, allows the casual viewer to know who the post is from, what it is saying, it gives an idea of who you are and what your brand is. What you are doing. It’s good to have a logo, a tagline, and a rough color/mood scheme. Beyond that though, I’m not entirely sure.

Here’s the thing…I don’t have a brand or an aesthetic. It’s just…me. What you see is what you get. Sometimes serious, sometimes goofy, always with a mug and a smile. And maybe that’s my aesthetic, I don’t know. All I know is the pressure that is put on bloggers and the like to cultivate your brand, have a certain aesthetic or look to your posts and feed is ridiculous. Sometimes that just isn’t who we are and that’s ok!

I’m not saying that you shouldn’t at least have an idea of what you are wanting to do. What do you want to share, how you want to share, etc, but I don’t think it is essential/a requirement to have a full on aesthetic. It may work for some, it may be beneficial for some, hell for a full business I would agree that it is essential.

But for me?

It’s constricting. It ties me down too much. Because like I said, I’m just me. I don’t follow just one path, and don’t stick to just one thing. I like to explore. I like to change things up fairly regularly. Talk about different things at different times. I like to live in the moment. The ONLY thing that I’ve come to realize stays the same as time passes is that everything I approach, I approach with a smile or a positive outlook, I bounce between being totally goofy/silly and serious, I love my tea and books, and I live honestly.

So, what am I trying to say here? I’m not totally sure, but I’ve just been doing some thinking about how I want to build this blog/brand. How I want to continue to move forward and grow the little community that we are cultivating. My little corner here is starting to grow, to shift and change and I want it to continue to do that in a way that works.

So, while you may not see a certain aesthetic, or a certain look to everything, just know you’ll always be getting me.

A Different Kind of Tired

If you follow me on any of my Social Media you may have already picked up on this, but the past few weeks have been no joke. They’ve been rough. It hasn’t been anything inherently bad, just routine life, but it’s just been a constant of life that’s stretched me thin.

Before we get too far into this, I did take a little “break” and did some self care that I haven’t really been able to get in, so I will not be so stretched thin and can “recuperate” a little. I am doing so much better now, which is referenced at the end of the post.

 I was talking with my husband one night and I found myself saying “I’m just so tired”. This was a pretty good sign to me as to where I was at. How I was feeling and what was going on. His response though? “Why don’t you go to bed then” A logical response to what I had actually said, but I knew that going to bed wasn’t really the answer, just like being physically tired wasn’t what was wrong. Yes, I was physically tired, and yes, going to bed would have probably helped, but it wasn’t the larger issue.

There is a different kind of “tired” when you are a mom. The feeling of just being so worn out emotionally and mentally. We say tired because with this feeling we can feel physically tired, but the root of that is really just our mental and emotional state. It usually comes at a point when we just simply need a break from “being a mom”. We need to have an adult conversation, an adult beverage, or -honestly- an adult only restroom break.

Being a mom (and a parent) means being constantly there when your kids are there. Yes, there are times when we step away and do dishes, or write, or read, or make food, but honestly there is always a part of us that is paying attention to our children. Keeping an ear out for what they are doing, keeping a side eye on what toys they are playing with, making sure that they aren’t destroying the house or hurting each other or getting into things they shouldn’t be into.

That alone, that divided attention, trying to do two things at once (keep the kids happy, and maybe cook some food, do some dishes) is exhausting by itself. And sometimes, being a mom is not the only thing we do. It may be the most important, but often times we are also wives, employees, business owners, or have some other commitment going on that we need to do.

Not only do we balance motherhood, partnership, work, we are also actively maintaining a living space and trying to take care of ourselves. Even with the help of our respective partners, it all adds up. And, at some point, we get tired. Not just physically tired, but emotionally and mentally worn out. We collapse in a pile in bed or on the couch and just lay there. We revel in the peace that is the house after the kids go to bed, the nightly chores are done, and there is a quiet that we haven’t heard all day long.

So yes, I was tired when I said that and yes, I did go to bed, but it wasn’t (and isn’t ever) a simple fix. It took a couple days for me to get out that “tired” feeling. A couple days of easy weekend-ing, having my whole little family together, and getting a blissful few hours kid free. That was what I really needed and when we started a new week, it felt as if I was back in action.

Friday Morning Cups

5198051616_IMG_3835.JPGSo, I’ve never posted a picture like this. It’s not in my comfort range of things to share. My body isn’t perfect (hello DR stomach that will never be normal again), but I’m OK with it. I’ve had two sweet babies and my body has proved itself again and again.

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I’m constantly told that I’m so lucky to be the size that I am. That folks would love to be my size. If I could profit off of everybody that told me how lucky I am, how they wished for my size, what am I doing, how do I eat, and the worst- I must not eat anything at all (which as a recovering anorexic is just lovely to hear 🙄), I would be a rich person. I hear constantly that I shouldn’t complain about this or that because overall I’m petite.

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Let me tell you something- just because I’m a smaller size doesn’t mean anything. I’m a fairly confident person and don’t often have moments of insecurity, but there are times that I feel iffy about my body. I work out regularly, I make sure that I fuel my body appropriately (and that doesn’t mean I don’t eat popcorn or candy every once in a while), and I have been blessed with some good genes. I am well aware of my size and how that is viewed, but newsflash, I still have my moments.

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Body confidence, body positivity, body issues are across the board. It doesn’t matter what your size or shape is, everyone is entitled to (and will probably at some point) feel insecure. And when someone is feeling insecure, we shouldn’t invalidate their feelings by telling them they shouldn’t feel that way because guess what…insecurity hits everyone. We are all beautiful, but we all have our moments. Let’s recognize that, cut the crap comments, and be supportive.