Friday Morning Cups

5198051616_IMG_3835.JPGSo, I’ve never posted a picture like this. It’s not in my comfort range of things to share. My body isn’t perfect (hello DR stomach that will never be normal again), but I’m OK with it. I’ve had two sweet babies and my body has proved itself again and again.

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I’m constantly told that I’m so lucky to be the size that I am. That folks would love to be my size. If I could profit off of everybody that told me how lucky I am, how they wished for my size, what am I doing, how do I eat, and the worst- I must not eat anything at all (which as a recovering anorexic is just lovely to hear 🙄), I would be a rich person. I hear constantly that I shouldn’t complain about this or that because overall I’m petite.

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Let me tell you something- just because I’m a smaller size doesn’t mean anything. I’m a fairly confident person and don’t often have moments of insecurity, but there are times that I feel iffy about my body. I work out regularly, I make sure that I fuel my body appropriately (and that doesn’t mean I don’t eat popcorn or candy every once in a while), and I have been blessed with some good genes. I am well aware of my size and how that is viewed, but newsflash, I still have my moments.

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Body confidence, body positivity, body issues are across the board. It doesn’t matter what your size or shape is, everyone is entitled to (and will probably at some point) feel insecure. And when someone is feeling insecure, we shouldn’t invalidate their feelings by telling them they shouldn’t feel that way because guess what…insecurity hits everyone. We are all beautiful, but we all have our moments. Let’s recognize that, cut the crap comments, and be supportive.

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A Peak Into My Past

I have never shared this story publicly. I have never talked about this part of my past with anyone, outside of a couple of close friends and family. All of my healing has been done privately, in and out of therapy. Figuring out what works for me and how I would even begin to piece my life back together after the rug was pulled out from under me almost 16 years ago. I’ve finally reached a peaceful place in my life, partly due to finding love in someone else, partly finding the ability to love myself. The biggest part of my peace being the forgiveness I have given. 

Finding the peace within myself has allowed me to reach a point where I want to talk with and help others. When I first entered therapy I had sworn that once I had made my own peace, I would help others in any way that I could. I thought it would be something that I could do within a little bit of time and then I could get to helping others and speaking about this trauma that simply isn’t spoken about. Here I am 12 years later, only just now feeling like I can share this story. Only just now feeling that peace, that urge to share, and finally being comfortable enough to share. Finally at the point where I really feel like I can help others. Help them find their healing, help them see the light at the end of the tunnel. To be that person that I needed.

I’ll get into more of that at another time, but I want to give you my story. I want to publicly share the part of my past that I’ve never shared before. You may have read this already, if you read the linked article in Friday’s post, but I wanted to address it here. Directly on my blog. So, here we go…IMG_4702

I was emotionally abused for 10+ Years and physically abused everyday for 7 of those years (everyday for 5, off and on for 2) by a parent. The person who was supposed to be my guide, my champion, supposed to be everything, was instead my tormentor. I went through my childhood with the expectation of perfection placed on me (and criticized, put down, insulted if not) and my adolescent years with an unthinkable amount of fear. Child abuse is not just being scared, it is a traumatic event that changes everything. Everything about you, everything about your life, and everything about everyone you come into contact with. 

Before I even had the opportunity to have a voice, it was taken away from me. Before I could even understand what was truly right and wrong, what I wanted to be or do, what true happiness could be, I knew what fear was. Not just being scared of something, but true fear. True terror. In some ways I can’t put to words what I was feeling, but in other ways it is crystal clear. 

As I said to start this post, I have reached a good space. A space where I can handle the tough moments, when all of those emotions, fears, and moments come back. I feel like I am at that light at the end of the tunnel, when you know that the tunnel is coming to an end, but there is still a bit of darkness. It has been a long and tough road to get here, and it is a road that will continue for the rest of my life. I have also recognized that having gone through this, having worked through it, and having come out on the other side, I am a better person for that. I am a better wife, mom, a better person all together. 

I want to end this by saying that I will be starting to talk more about trauma, child abuse, and dealing with both of these factors a little more frequently on my blog. There will still be plenty of my usual happy go lucky content (as I am that happy go lucky, keep all things cosy, find the silver lining kinda girl), but I want to start sharing more of my story. I find that Childhood Trauma and Abuse is a topic that doesn’t seem to get enough attention (unless it is a major event) and it is something that is more common than we think. 

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Friday Morning Cups

IMG_6413This morning is kind of a special morning. I am sharing something that I have NEVER spoken about “publicly”. I’ve told a small amount of family, a couple of close friends and that is about it. I’ve never spoken about this publicly as I’ve never felt like I was in a good place to really talk about it. I think once you read the linked blog post, you will understand. I will talk more about this in a future blog post, but since this has been published, I want to share with you.

The truth is…it has taken me 10 years to get to this point. To get to a point that I was truly ready to talk about this, to share my story, to help others. 10 years to feel like I have finally reached a point in my healing and recovery that I can actually help others go through it, get through it, and come out the other side. I will be slowly starting to introduce this topic into this blog and my own social media.

Click HERE to read the post.

Thank you for reading.

Mia

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Day Trip : Colonial Williamsburg

On Saturday we took a day trip down to Colonial Williamsburg. This step back into history has been a “must do” on my list since we moved here and we just finally got around to doing it. It’s about a 2 1/2 hour drive from us and is the perfect distance for spending a day. 

The whole draw in for Colonial Williamsburg is that it is supposed to feel like you are stepping back into time, back to when the colonies were breaking free from English rule, and it is supposed to reflect what every day life was like for the colonists. It features character actors, both as guides and just portraying different folks that would live in town. There were stations where visitors could get involved, such as making brick and clothes, but also areas where you could just observe. 

Our day started at the Governors Palace, which is the main home and office for the Royal Governor. This was in use prior to the collapse of Royal Authority in Virginia, as the colonies broke away from England. We toured the main hall and two sitting rooms downstairs, as well as a bed & dressing room upstairs (not pictured). A tour guide, dressed in time period clothing (as was everyone) talked us through the last family that lived in the home as well as what a visitor to the home could expect. 

Our next stop was walking through the different Palace Grounds, with a beautiful little hideaway and a maze, and along the Palace Green, which had homes, kitchens, and a church.

While we were walking through the palace green, we got to watch the carriage and ox wagon rides go through the palace green, and then the rest of the town. Such a neat and fun experience to add to the idea of stepping back into history!

Once you finish with the “main” Palace walk, you come upon the little town itself. The main portion of town is divided up on one “main” street, Duke of Gloucester Street, and a side street, Nicholson Street. One Duke of Gloucester there were shops, taverns, and the Market Square. The shops and taverns all had character actors both outside to guide you in, and inside to walk you through whatever you were seeing, or to help you purchase any gifts you were interested in. 

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We stopped at the Market Square to see the “market” they were holding that day, to take a look at the Public Armory and to see how they would signal to everyone for lunchtime. Spoiler: the lunch time signal was a canon, which concerned both boys immensely. We also ended the day in the same area to see a demonstration of combat tactics of the time (hubs is a military history buff). 

We stopped for a quick lunch, watched the Fife and Drum March, and headed over to the children’s play spot. They offer a spot just for children that has a variety of toys from colonial times as well as a maze for the children to work through. Colton had quite a lot of fun navigating the maze and riding a toy horse, while Andrew took a quick snooze. It was a nice spot to take a little break from everything, let the kids just run free, but still maintain all the history. 

The last major “must see” stop for Colonial Williamsburg is at The Capitol, at the end of Duke of Gloucester Street. It has quite the tale to tell, and our guide very enthusiastically shared its history. Williamsburg was a capital at one point in time, and the capital building itself was built, burned, built, burned, left to disrepair, only to be built again later on. There is only one item that is original to the Capital, and that is the single chair where the leader would sit. The capital was rebuilt as it would have originally been seen and it was interesting to hear the history of Virginia breaking away from England. This stop also included a look at the courthouse, where royal crimes would have been heard. 

Overall, we really enjoyed our time in Colonial Williamsburg! They do a wonderful job with re creating a time in history that is so interesting (and full of strife), while still giving us modern day amenities. It sits right near William and Mary University and there is a full town just right outside the gates, but once you step onto the brick sidewalk and the bit of cobblestone street you feel transported. It was a wonderful day!

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