Round The Kettle Ep 4: Tackling Emotions

So, how you been?

I’m sat here in our bed (of all places, the one place I don’t like electronics or technology) typing this out. It’s like 10:30PM on a Friday night, but when inspiration strikes, you just kinda roll with it…or at least I do. Good thing this isn’t a podcast just yet or I’d be waking the house up with my voice.

The past couple of weeks have been good. Life decisions made (will share soon!). Plans for the rest of this year sorted. Holiday plans…on going. I’m a planner and with everything that is going on (and the large amount of things that we can’t solidly plan), the little things that I can schedule out (in some cases to the hour…) have been scheduled and I feel just much more calm with all of our changes.

I’ve been dealing with some behind the scenes life stuff over the past couple days. Really it’s been an ongoing situation, which changed a few months ago, but I’ve only just recognized behaviors the past couple days. It’s a funny thing because I’m good. I’m happy. I’m in a good headspace BUT (there’s that but…whys it gotta be there? Oy.) I’ve had this feeling in the back of my mind. A little jiggling in my gut (that’s not from those extra m&m’s I promise). Something telling me -hey Mia you need to acknowledge this.

For me the way these things go is like this:

Step1: there’s a feeling. Something in the back of my brain sending a gentle nudge of hey-this isn’t ok.

Step2: trying to figure out what the eff step 1 is referring to.

Step3: sorting through what I’ve figured out in step 2 and working through that internally. Before I even voice something I can guarantee I’ve over thought it ten ways to Sunday.

Step4: deciding whether this whole situation even needs a voice. Not every feeling or nudge I get needs to be talked about. Sometimes just acknowledging that hey I don’t feel right can be enough to then fix whatever it is.

Step5: putting my feelings into words if needed and ,again if needed, sharing that with others.

***now that I write it all out I feel neurotic just rereading it. I can assure you it’s not nearly as drawn out or over complicated as it sounds. Also, I really need to stop over analyzing and being my own psychology patient. Oy. ***

And here we are-step 5. I’m working on putting words to how I’ve been feeling/coping and trying to decide whether I really want to share that with others.

With all of that going on it’s got me thinking about how we can be so good, so happy, so at peace and then still have this little background noise going on. Is that possible? Are you still happy and good if you’ve got that little voice in the back of your mind? If you’ve still got something that is causing you…well whatever this is causing? OR is the need to always feel good and happy making us think that we can’t acknowledge when we aren’t good?

It’s weird because I do have so much to be happy about and that I am happy about. I’ve got so many blessings and I lead such a privileged life. I’ve got things happening and changes coming that so many would dream to have. AND I AM HAPPY.

But there is more to us as beings. More to our emotions and feelings and it can get…complicated to say the least. So, all this to say I do think it is possible to be happy and still have a struggle. I always say life has ups and downs (or highs and lows) and I think that it may be possible that when you are up that there are still downs without everything going down. If that makes sense…

As always, I’m probably just overthinking everything. For someone who preaches to be in the moment and just be present and let the feelings wash over you, I over analyze WAY TOO MUCH.

What do you think? I’d love to hear your thoughts. And of course, I want to know how you  have been? Talk to me in the comments below J

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What If You’re Not A Morning Person

You hear it all the time, the most productive people are morning people. You will succeed in life if you are a morning person. Get up earlier, get more done. If you’re not a morning person, here is how to become a morning person (oh Hi- I’m guilty of doing that one too, here’s my post if you want to read it).

I’ve been guilty of being that person too. I PERSONALLY feel that I get more done, feel more together, and just feel better, when I get up early and have an earlier start to my day. Part of this comes from having two very young children, close together in age, that are always exploring and needing attention. Once they are up, and until they go down for naps, most of my attention is on them. I also work and run two blogs, so this means if I want to workout, do my hair and makeup, etc, I have to be up before them doing that. I have found that FOR ME this are essential to my overall well being.

Here’s the thing though, in all of our hurriedness to get everything done, get to the top of the chain the fastest, and to be viewed as a success, we have forgotten that we are not all the same. We are not the same person, we do not share the same interests, we do not work the same way, we do not all thrive under the same instances.

So, I am here to tell you to forget everything that I have ever said about being a morning person. Actually, if we want to be a Morning Person (because you want to try it, or feel like you would be better getting up earlier), then go back and read that blog post and give it a shot. Don’t feel like you have to though because, honestly being a morning person is not a necessity to being successful. Let me repeat: BEING A MORNING PERSON IS NOT A NECESSITY TO BEING SUCCESSFUL.

 Did you catch that? Maybe go re read it? Got it? Ok. Now, let’s talk about what is a necessity to being successful. TIME MANAGEMENT. If you know how to use your time properly and appropriately to be at your most productive, it doesn’t matter what time you get up or what time you go to bed. Time Management is your best friend. It is what allows you to be productive, to feel like you’ve got your “life together” and what allows you to be successful in what you are doing.

I’ve touched on Time Management before…kind of. I don’t have a full post devoted just to Time Management (but stay tuned, it’s coming!), but I’ve talked about Routines (HERE), Priorities and Prioritizing (HERE), as well as my own planning (HERE). However, that being said, I do have a post coming this next month talking all about Time Management and putting my thoughts from those three separate posts into one easy post for you!

 

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The Personal Development/ Motivational Book Challenge

Alright, I’m going to admit this one very unpopular opinion…I’m not the biggest fan of “self help”/personal development or motivational books. Maybe I’ve only gotten duds, but they always feel just a bit off to me. I get the whole “ra ra get your life together” feeling, but in the same book it also will make almost excuses for everything else going on. I’m more of a swift kick in the ass kinda person (haha kidding…maybe). Sometimes all we need is a blunt approach, rather than a soft it’s ok, you can accomplish it all now doing it this way. IT ALL DEPENDS ON THE PERSON, SITUATION AND MINDSET.

With all of that being said, I feel like maybe I’ve just gotten a couple of duds of self help and motivational books. With the year coming to an end, and everyone doing some reflection and planning for next year, I figured now may be as good a time as any to re evaluate my thoughts on Self Help and Motivational Books.

Here’s what I want to do…a challenge of sorts for the next month-ish. Tell me in the comments below, in comments on my Social Media Post, in an email or direct message, whatever, what is a self help or motivational style book that has changed your life. That you really found meaningful, was chock full of knowledge, that just changed your outlook. I will make a deal to read 5 of the most commented books over the next month (or two depending on how long they take).

If I haven’t read it, I will add it to a short reading list and I’ll start reading the books that you’ve recommended! With each book read, I’ll make a blog post detailing the recommendation, what the book focuses on, and my thoughts about it. Help me find some motivational reading that will change my life!

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Round the Kettle Ep 3: The Real Deal

I feel like whenever we have a coffee with friends, we always start with “So, how’ve you been?”  Seems like a good enough place to start these new posts, right?

So, how’ve we been?

***There is a reciprocal conversing bit to these posts, so tell me in the comments below how you’ve been and we can have a conversation!***

I’m sitting here, steeping a cup of a loose-leaf tea blend that I’ve really been enjoying lately called Fireside Plum, listening to a band that I’ve recently discovered called Imaginary Future. I really like their music and the duets they do with Kina Grannis. I would describe the music as alternative/acoustic/folk/soft love ballads (yep, it really took that many genres to narrow it down). The boys are tiring themselves out with loads of wrestling and playing, I can hear the giggles coming from our living room as I type. In fact, I should probably go check on them as giggles are more often than not a sign of something in the trouble realm…

Wednesday was Halloween. Quite the event for the kids and my least favorite holiday. I like the excitement that the kids experience and watching that, so that’s the good thing about it. This year the boys were Gecko from PJ Masks (if you’re a mom, you know) and The Cookie Monster from Sesame Street. We did end up going trick or treating this year, even though the kids are still a little too young to understand the idea (Colton is kind of on the cusp though). What were you or your children for Halloween this year? Do you do trick or treating or a party for Halloween?

Saturday, we decided to venture “into the city” and hit up the Zoo. The Zoo is always a big hit with our boys (and well really with anyone) and we definitely got quite the show from the animals. It’s really fun to watch the boys get excited over seeing the animals and we just enjoyed having a nice family outing. We get the luck of being able to attend The National Zoo off of a really pretty stretch of road (or at least the scenic route to the zoo is really pretty, going through the city is a different story…) and this was probably our last trip. One of our favorite bits about this particular zoo is the Orangutan Habitat. IMG_7742They have a “rope course” across the zoo where they can travel up in the air from one enclosure to another. Similar to how they would in the wild. It has got to be one of the coolest things to watch. When was the last time you went to your local zoo? Do they have a local attraction that you really love?

In terms of us and life, we are in an endless holding circle right now it seems. There are things that need to be done for our move, planned for, but we can’t as it’s either too early (seems crazy coming up on 3ish months) or we are waiting for other companies/people. It creates its own hectic/stress feeling and has to be the worst period of time when it comes to moving. We are both just ready to be getting to the moving and traveling bit (although I’m sure when we get to that part with two young active children, we are going to wish we were at the next part).

So, to combat that endless circle feeling, we’ve been trying to get out. Get out of our house, get into nature, different activities, go adventuring. Enjoy the parks and wildlife that we have around us. We’ve got a great park at the end of our street, a backyard area that is not only beautiful, but teaming with all sorts of creatures, and just generally in a nice area for the kids.

***Also, both boys are now at an age where adventuring out without a full diaper bag, or a huge bulky stroller is totally a possibility. It’s become a much less daunting chore to get both boys ready, fed, and out the door and we aren’t in such a rush to get back to the house, to meals, to naps. It’s made a huge difference to our days and our activities. So, if you are a mom who is maybe in the 2 under 2, or just have a really young child, it will get better. That stage isn’t very long and leaving the house will feel much easier soon!***

The great thing about having young kids is they are experiencing life for the first time, this means a simple walk in the park, which works wonders for me, captivates their attention and fascinates them! The colors have been beautiful, and it’s not been too chilly.

IMG_4692Fun fact: September through December is my all-time favorite time of year. We get the beauty of the leaves turning and falling, the crisp coolness of the early morning, gorgeous sunrises poking through the trees, hitting all of the vibrant colored leaves. Then everything slowly turns chillier, barer, until that first magical snow fall. It’s just such a wonderful and magical time of year. I’ve come to realize that Autumn just feels like my soul has been embodied by everything around me.

So, tell me, how’ve you been? I’m not really sure how these Round the Kettle posts are going to shake out (they definitely won’t always be this long or this “family update-y”), I’m sure they will take their own format as we go on.

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Real Talk: Crushing the End of 2018

We are officially in the last Quarter of the Year. 2018 is rapidly coming to an end and I know that for me, there are still quite a few things I want to accomplish and learn. I want to talk a little bit today about ending the year strong. To feel like we succeeded in making the best of another year of our lives. So, go grab your cup of something Magical and let’s talk about 2018 coming to an end.

The end of the year either brings two feelings, a “holy cow I feel like I haven’t done anything, where did the time go?” OR a “gosh I’ve done so much this year so far, how is it already coming to an end?”.

If you’re in the second category, way to go! You’ve been rocking the year and no matter what, you’ll end the year feeling accomplished. If you’re in the first category, never fear! You have almost certainly accomplished plenty this past year, and there is still time to do some more. Read on category 1, read on…

The first thing to look at is our New Year’s Resolutions (if you set them). I personally don’t set full on resolutions, rather some sort of big picture or overall intention for how I would like for this year to go. So, look at whatever goal, big picture mindset, word of the year, whatever, and see how you’ve been doing with that specific thing. Have you rocked it?

Second, in reviewing your goals for 2018, narrow down the ones that either haven’t been achieved, or that you feel like you could do better at. Did you want to eat healthier and then fell off the badwagon half way through the year? Did you want to read/write/exercise more and didn’t? There is NO SUCH THING as too late to start. You can still start one of those resolutions now and be successful. End 2018 on a strong note!

Third, and final, just start whatever it is that you want to accomplish! As I just said, it is NEVER too late to start. Start slow, maybe with an easier resolution and then build up. If you can cross one or two of those resolutions off, you can still feel like you’ve had a successful 2018. At the end of the day, you (and only you) can determine whether or not you’ve had a good year or not. What do you need to do to feel like you’ve had a good year?

For me personally, as this year is coming to an end I am trying to de clutter items that we don’t need, want, or use,, prepare myself and my family for our upcoming move (read about that excitement HERE), and knock out a couple more items on our Northern VA/Washington DC bucket list. I feel like I’ve done a lot this past year, but I know it wasn’t as much as I had hoped to do. I know that I definitely could have done more in some area’s and I am striving to work on those areas to still end this year strong.

How about you? Where do you fall on the two categories of 2018?

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A Cuppa Cosy Heads International!

Yep, you read that title right! We are heading out of the United States and are so incredibly excited to do it! For the next few years we are going to be residing in Germany, learning about the culture, the history, exploring all over Europe, and blogging all about it!

I don’t normally speak about what my husband does, or really talk about him much at all, and that is both for privacy and security reasons. He is a relatively private person and I definitely respect (and love) that part of him, BUT I do want to say that the reason we are moving is to do with his job. He is in the military and we jumped at this opportunity when it presented itself.

We are so incredibly lucky to be able to move out of the country and explore somewhere completely new. It is not something that we are taking for granted, nor something that we are approaching lightly. We plan on truly absorbing everything that Germany (and Europe as a whole) has to offer. I can’t wait to share our experiences over the next few years and see where this journey takes us!

I will touch a little bit on our process for anyone that is wondering or is looking at a similar situation. For us (aka for military families) it’s all about timeline. The preparation stuff so far hasn’t been so bad. The biggest thing is just handling it early enough, so you don’t feel a bottleneck of stuff to do close to your move. I know that sometimes this isn’t a possibility, thankfully it is in our case, but if you can handle as much as you can as early as you can then that will really help the ease of a move. I will share once we get closer to our actual move date more tips and tricks that I have found in a single post.

We are both very excited about what the future holds for us and what this new path is going to be like!

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How Do I Do It All?

I get asked quite frequently how I manage to do everything. I am definitely not the busiest person out there, but I do juggle several different things between family, work, business, and personal goals. With all of this, it means that my time can, at times, be very “tied up”. A lot of times, people take one look at what I do, or my to do list, and look at me like I’ve lost my mind. Cue: “How do you do it all?”

Here’s the grand secret for you: I don’t.

There comes a time where we all realize that we cannot “do it all”. Anyone who tells you that they are, is more than likely either lying, or very very stressed out and tired. **I want to say, there may be a point where you realize that things you thought you wanted are either not what you want or not possible at this time of your life. In this case, you may feel like you are “doing it all” and in that case it may be accurate for you.** If I ever say I “do it all”, if those words are ever uttered out of my mouth, I need to be put back in my place.

First off, I have help. I have an incredible husband who does more than he sometimes gets credit for and is such a help. He will help clean up the kitchen after dinner, does bath time and bed time with the kids and most evenings will take over the bulk of playing with them, so I can get a bit of peace. Weekends are time for all four of us to be together and get some family time in and our weeks are structured so that we can successfully do that. Responsibilities are no joke.

Second, is a thing called prioritizing. I will be going more into this later this week, but it is a big part of getting close to “doing it all”. Every day I have to look through what I want to accomplish and be realistic. Some days I don’t manage to cross everything off, other days I do. At the start of the day, I write down everything on my to do list. Once my list is down on paper, I am able to pinpoint what my most important items are. What are the “emergency” must do things, and what can wait another day. This is ESSENTIAL.

If we look at our days in a realistic sense, there is only so much that we can do. We HAVE to be able to “give up” things, say no when we can’t give our all to something. It is better to do only a couple of things a day, but to do them well, rather than try and cross everything off, but only doing those things half way. I’ll be talking more about prioritizing on Wednesday.

Basically at the end of the day- I don’t do it all. I prioritize, schedule, and say no when I simply cannot do something.

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A Ramble on: Confidence

Ever see those people who seemingly just don’t care what people think? Who go about life so self assured and comfortable with who they are? Wonder what they were doing to get to that point?

They weren’t always that way. 

Confidence is something that is gained as you grow into yourself. And as you face new experiences, new life moments, new risks you grow more confident in yourself. And better yet, those people that you think are just so self confident, still have moments of insecurity. You can also be confident in some areas of your life, and not so confident in other areas. You can be solid in yourself, but maybe a new change has happened to cause that confidence to waver.

Sometimes it just takes some time to get to (or get back to) that moment of “I know who I am, I know what I believe, and who cares what others think of me”. Because with confidence comes a freeing moment of not caring. Of letting go of what others think of you. Of saying, who gives a damn.

For me, I started to feel really good about myself just after High School (aka just as I fully hit my stride in recovery). I thought I knew what I wanted in life, how I was going to achieve what I wanted, and who I was. I met my husband, and things really started to click in place even more. Then we had our first boy. While something in me clicked when I became a mother, my confidence in myself was still a little shaken. My confidence in my ability to do everything that I wanted to do. To be a good wife, a good mom, a good person. To manage all the things. 

Then, I hit my stride again and became confident as a new mom. I got everything down and my confidence was on the upswing and we had our second boy. Instead of my confidence wavering, I knew. I believe in myself. I was confident in myself, my choices, in every aspect relating to being myself. 

Something to remember: Even when you have that self confidence, when you have that process of letting go what people think of you, there are still moments. Moments where you question yourself. Moments where you wonder, what do people think about you. 

But trust in the process. Trust in yourself. Trust in the fact that when you get through whatever has caused that wavering, that that will just be one more thing to have overcome. You’ll come out the other end more confident and having learned something new about yourself. 

I’m glad that I can say that I am finally, 100%, at that point. I have found my voice. I have found the confidence in myself, in what I believe, in what I am doing that I can say that there is not much that can tear me down. That took a lot of work to get to and you better believe I am not letting go of that any time soon. Do I still have moments of weakness, of caring what people think of me? Kind of. It’s hard for me to say that I will never question myself, but I have reached a point in my life where there are just so many other things to do and think about.

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It’s Just My $0.02

This topic has been something that has been weighing heavily on me and to be honest, is not one that I really thought I would add my voice to. However, I feel like I have a duty to throw my perspective to the wind and share my thoughts. It’s also ironic timing as quite a few of the posts I’ve got coming up are about not caring about what others think, but I’ve got to get this out of my system. 

As a woman I’m always happy to see other women succeeding at what they choose to do. Whether that be take on a major company, a high up the chain job, or simply run the household. Women are a force to be reckoned with and I certainly feel that we can, and do, whatever we put our minds to do. 

I’ve been supportive of the drive of any person to do what their heart desires. I love that we all have a choice to do what we want to do, and if no one has done that before, we become the first to do it. I LOVE seeing this in my friends and in people that I don’t even necessarily know.

Let me be clear about something, I have a part time job, my own business, and my family. I work very hard at my job and my business, but I make a choice to be home with my children and to work around their needs. I have tweaked my days to perfection to allow for this and I am very proud of the fact that I am a Wife and Mom above all else. I choose to take care of our home and my husband and children. 

There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with this CHOICE. I would not judge another who decided that they wanted to work full time and have a career. That is a CHOICE. And how incredible it is that we can make that choice.

With my mindset being supportive of others in their dreams and desires, no matter what my personal dreams and desires are (because we are all different and want different things), I cannot believe the comments I have gotten in my personal life in regards to my choice. 

I am not any less proud to be a woman, or of the other achievements of women, simply because I am not breaking glass ceilings in the workplace. Because I enjoy cleaning the house, or making dinner for my husband. I also enjoy the work that I do everyday in my job and my business. I find fulfillment in every aspect of my life. 

Here’s a little food for thought to put things in perspective, while you are kicking ass in your job, or your career, or whatever it is that you’re doing, I am kicking ass in my home. In my job. In my business. As long as we are doing what we love, why does it matter?

Why should we look at a woman any less for CHOOSING or WANTING to stay home? With that same thought process, why should we look at a woman any less for CHOOSING or WANTING to go work? To break those barriers? It doesn’t make her any less than anyone else, nor does it mean that she is not supportive of other women breaking barriers. 

Let’s be real, the world isn’t going to move forward if we don’t have both types of women, so why don’t we all get off our high horses and move forward with supporting each other? We are all going through life, one of us is not “better” than the other and honestly, we could probably accomplish a hell of a lot more if we remembered that.

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