Friday Morning Cups

To anyone that’s reading this-this is important. Read on because I have a little story to share.

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This past week had a couple of rough spots. A couple of days where things just overloaded. Where my patience really stretched thin and things started falling through the cracks. My fuse seemingly disappeared and while there wasn’t any sort of breakdown or really bad moments, it was just a week that wore on me.

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Sunday morning I decided to take a little breather. To get out of the house by myself, go to a coffee shop and sit, read and re charge my batteries. I came back to the house feeling so much better. My attitude had shifted. No longer did I have a zero fuse, no longer did I find myself yelling or snapping. I got the to do list done in record time and all with a little smile on my face. I was a better wife and a better mom.

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Now my husband isn’t one to really comment on this type of thing BUT even HE noticed the shift. He told me “If 45 minutes to yourself is all it takes, so that everyday”. He got it. He saw the shift and it clicked.

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Everyone- that time for yourself is SO important. I talk about this so much because it makes a huge difference. That saying is true- you can’t pour from an empty cup.

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What I Wore pt. 2: Finishing Touches

In pt. 1 I talked about fashion and clothing and an area that I was not the most comfortable with. I don’t really know too much on the fashion side of things (although I am slowly getting there), but something I am very familiar and confident in are the accessories. The finishing touches to an outfit. Handbags, jewelry, sunglasses- I love them all and I’ve always been a fan. 

So, how have my accessories changed over time? 

Outside of the fact that I’ve paired down my collections quite a bit, these days I tend to go for quality over quantity (or really over anything else). I love to have simple pieces that have a meaning beyond just having the piece. I definitely have a few staples that I wear everyday without fail, as well as some newer pieces that I’ve added. 

Since I’ve got this accessory thing down, and since I’ve shared my clothing choices, I figured I would share some of my favorite accessory pieces. Each piece has a bit of a meaning behind it, or a story as to when I bought it except one set of bangles which were bought just out of love for them (which is fine). 

I think my all time favorite accessory right now (aside from my wedding set, because duh) is the bracelet I am wearing on my left wrist. It was a recent purchase, but has a sweet story behind it. I’ve also gone back to wearing an actual watch (not a smart watch) and my favorite watch brand is Skagen. I currently own two, although the square one needs a new battery (I need help removing the backing on it otherwise it would have already been replaced). 

Other pieces aside from my watch, wedding ring, and bracelet tend to vary from day to day on how I am feeling and what I’m wearing. I tend to alternate between three necklaces (typical wearing the blue one everyday and switching up the others), and a few different bracelets. I’ve got a selection to choose from, but pictured below are my three favorites that I reach for at the moment. 

For the most part, I prefer simple and dainty for jewelry, with my sunglasses and handbags being where I “go big or go home”.  My current favorite pair of sunglasses are these Ray Ban Erika style sunglasses. I am just in love with them. My favorite bag to carry right now is my Whipping Post tote as it is just big enough for everything I’ve got to carry without needing a diaper bag (finally!). A close second favorite bag is probably one of my Kate Spade bags OR my Cambridge Satchel Co small bag. 

I’m pretty pleased with where things stand with my wardrobe at this point. I definitely want to add a couple more pieces of jewelry to it, but there isn’t too much more that I could even bring in!

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Friday Morning Cups

Every once in a while I will post something on Social Media that I want to have a longer “effect” of have be part of my archive with A Cuppa Cosy. It may even be something that I want to expand on and couldn’t within the constraints. 

Whenever I run into this situation, I will post them on here, on Friday mornings, titled Friday Morning Cups. Intended to be read (as all of my posts are) over a cup of coffee or tea and maybe, if you are so driven to, start a conversation if needed. Maybe not, Sometimes they will be fun and light hearted, other times a more serious tone. Either way, for whatever reason, I want to make a spot for this type of post. 

Here’s the “inaugural” post, from earlier this week. 

5160350240_IMG_2611In an effort to be completely open about my Eating Disorder…I’ve had this Garmin watch for 6 months and I had a Fitbit watch for about 2 years before that. I’ve always been a huge fan of fitness trackers and have really enjoyed being able to just kind of see where I am at with my exercise and my movement throughout the day. With where I was at in my recovery, I was still able to manage wearing a fitness tracker, see what all was going on, and be OK. 

Of late though I’ve noticed a shift in my thought process towards my Garmin. To be more clear, I’ve noticed a shift in my thought process as to what I was tracking with it. I noticed some old habits starting to creep back into my mind. Some old thoughts that I hadn’t heard in a few years. 

I noticed of recent how bad these thoughts had actually gotten. Funny how that realization often times doesn’t hit until it is full on in your brain. I am still over all in a good place in my recovery. I’ve not relapsed, but I have noted those thoughts. I will not let those thoughts win. I know where I am at in my life and, more importantly, I am HAPPY with where I am at. 

To expand…I am at my healthiest, my happiest, my most confident and self assured. I”ve never felt so good about myself and what I’m doing with my life. Even with all of that and feeling so incredible, the littlest of things can attach in my mind and start that spiral. 

This post is to show that there is no end. Recovery is on going and what may have been ok at one point, may not be ok anymore. Remember what those thoughts sound like and do not be afraid to break away from whatever is bringing those thoughts back into your mind. Even if that something is something that hasn’t been an issue before. 

For me- I’ll be saving this watch for when I workout. 

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Hitting a Road Block

Like any other person, I have my moments. I have my days, sometimes even my weeks. No one’s life is always perfect and I DO NOT want to even begin to portray that. I have always said that the biggest thing that I strive for (in all aspects of my life) is honesty. Always authentic and always 100% honest in what I share. This is my real life and when I have a hard time I don’t want to sugarcoat that or fake those very real bits of life. Sharing those moments is hard, but I feel like it is so so important so that we don’t get caught up in the wave that can be portrayed everywhere you look of perfection.

Life is a roller coaster ride. Some points are really low. Sometimes you have quite a hill to climb to get out of those low moments. This past week was that low point. 

I am a person who thrives on organization almost across the board (fun fact, the only exception to this is when we go on vacation). I can “go with the flow” at times, but mostly I thrive on having a general/rough outline of what is going on. I thrive on writing down my to do list every morning and checking off each thing as I go along. I thrive when I have a plan of action and when I can move forward with that plan of action. It is something that can be such a positive and something that I have really worked to my benefit over my life. 

Now, you may be wondering how this can be a downfall. Being organized, able to create a plan of action and get s*** done is a positive, right?

Not always.

For me, I struggle when I get a wrench thrown into things. When my rough outline of a day gets messed up due to whatever happened. And sometimes, that wrench that can really just mess with my head. Depending on what happens and how much it effects (what I have in my head as) my rough outline will depend on what my reaction level is. 

This is so hard for me to admit because I work really hard to balance so many different things in my life. To balance them perfectly so that every part of my life, and myself, gets what it needs. I’ve touched before about how hard, almost impossible, it is and how at some points things are going to go to the wayside. I didn’t take my own advice this past week to just let one thing go so I could be successful all around. 

So, what happened to make this a low point? It almost seemed like just everything was set against the week. Computer issues, Internet issues, getting caught up after a vacation, getting sick, and then the kids getting sick. I think around Wednesday, my positive attitude started really slipping and then by Thursday it was completely gone. I had pretty much given up on the week come Thursday afternoon. 

Giving up that positive attitude and that attempt to get all the things handled may have been a really hard decision (for me personally), but it is what saved my weekend. I wallowed and just sat in that misery for all of Thursday. Sometimes that is exactly what is needed in order to get to the climb to get out of the low point. And honestly, I did feel a little bit better when Friday morning came around. 

I took the weekend to just relax and just be in the moment. Since I had “given up” on the week, I took all that extra time to snuggle with the kids, obsess over the Royal Wedding (although I was going to that regardless), and just enjoy the sensation of “letting go”. To remember the advice that I’ve said time and time again about taking time to not have to do everything. 

I’ve learned some hard lessons this past week. I’ve had some lessons re affirmed, some new lessons learned, and have just had a chance to remember what I really want from my everyday.

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Real Talk: Body Image

This is a rather sensitive topic for me, given my own issues, but I really want to talk about our body image. While we were on vacation, I was sitting outside in this little pair of short shorts and a tank top that I would have normally felt a little self conscious in. As I was sitting there, honestly marveling at the fact that I was once again in a clear headspace to wear what I was wearing (and not immediately freak out), I had a moment to just think. Think about body image, body positivity, confidence, etc. 

Let’s be completely honest, no matter how confident you are, how comfortable you are within your own skin, we all have those moments. Moments where we second guess how we look. Whether what we are wearing really compliments our body, or if it highlights that one area you feel can never get back to where it was. It happens to everyone, men & women, at any age. 

In fact, I challenge anyone to be able to say that they have been confident and comfortable in their own skin all their life. If you are, that is awesome! I am not. I have not been that many a time. 

The self criticism is hard to fight and I’m not going to sit hear and say, oh love your body the way it is. The fact of the matter is, we all have those moments and that’s OK! I feel like these days, there is such a push of body positivity, loving our bodies, celebrating them. That’s all well and good, but it’s not always realistic. I don’t always love my body and I am not going to sit here and tell you that you must love your body.

It’s OK to not be happy about how your body looks, just like it’s ok to be perfectly content with how your body looks. It’s also ok to feel a bit of both.

I typically lie right in the middle of those two trains of thought. I love 75% of the way my body looks, but there are a couple of things I wish I could change. That is just how I feel. Is some of that simply just that little negative voice in my head (I’m sure you know the one I am talking about)? Yes. Am I working on changing what I can? Yes (and more importantly, I am doing it in a healthy way). So, why do I care about how I actually look in that particular outfit? Am I going to look any different in a different outfit? Maybe, but who cares. I felt so good lying in the sun, relaxing, watching our older boy run around in the grass. Why should I let thoughts of what anyone else (aside from my husband), including that negative little voice in my head, destroy that feeling?

So, what I really want anyone reading this to get, is that it’s OK to not be happy with your body and it’s ok to be body confident. What is more important to keep in mind is that no matter how you feel about your body, you can’t let that stop you from enjoying life. Wear what you want- do what you want. Have a little dress, or in my case, that pair of short shorts and wear it!

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A Week Away…These are the Moments

This past week we went on the first of our two summer vacations. This first one was a special one as we decided to take a somewhat “spontaneous” trip to see some family. I say somewhat spontaneous as this was not in our original plans for this year, but rather we decided it about a month to a month and a half out. 

We’ve got family getting ready to move out of the country for a little bit and this was going to be the last chance to really get to see them and have the entire family together. It was also a good chance to get the boys together with their cousins and for us to just get a little bit of a break. We loaded up the car and headed on our way…

However crazy this past week has been between teething, sleeping, noise, and food, it was so so SO much fun! I always love being around family and it is such a blast to watch all of the grandkids playing together. The boys had so much fun playing with their cousins and ALL of the toys. They got to not only play with new toys, but the amount of learning that happens with that is so good.

We had fun getting away from work and catching up with family. It is good to just be able to disengage from your normal. To be able to break out of that routine and just breathe easy for a little while. Not have to almost rush through your days to get everything done, everyone fed and happy. It was nice to just focus on the boys and my husband for the week. 

It is so important to be able to get this time away; not only for my husband and I, but for our children as well. They can pick up on so many tiny little emotions and while they may not understand what it means, they can understand when Mommy and Daddy are tired/stressed/have a lot going on. They also then get stuck into these little ruts and getting out of that routine, even for only a couple of days (less than the week we did this time) is good for everyone.

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Real Talk: Spring Outlook (Spring Cleaning Part 3)

I’ve started off April in a rush to purge, to clean, to have a fresh outlook on how the year is progressing in our life. This included purging a lot of items, doing a deep clean of our house and now that both of those items are done, it is time to look out our spaces, our mindset, our intentions for 2018 to see what we can freshen up.

I’m a big believe in always coming back to your intentions. Always revisit any goals (or *cringe* resolutions) you’ve set for the year and see how your progress is going. It is a good thing to check and see what is working and what isn’t working. Where are you thriving? Where could you use a little work? What can you tweak or re set with to continue on the path that you want for yourself this year.

As I’ve mentioned before, Spring is a great time to do just this. Not only do we all naturally start to shed away the layers of winter, but Spring almost brings the same feelings as the New Year with that fresh start, fresh outlook type of feeling.This is the time to take a step back and re evaluate how your year has started. We are still early enough into the year that a lot can be accomplished. It’s OK if you’ve looked at your intentions for the year and decided that you need to jus scrap them and start fresh. It’s also OK to say I’ve been rocking these and I want to take it up to the next level. NOW is such a great time to make these adjustments and changes.

In coming back to our intentions, I’m a big believer in setting up our spaces, setting up our day to day, to reflect what we want to accomplish and what we need in our life. Spring naturally allows us to freshen up our wardrobe and spaces by having warmer temperatures, more sunshine, and a general feeling of “freshness” in the air. We are already having to shed those thick winter layers and large fleece blankets for shorter t shirts and lighter sheets. Windows start to open more frequently (which already leads to a more positive outlook) and allows you to look at yourself and your space for another change.

Often times with Spring, we bring down the lighter blankets, put out the pastel decorations, and shorter clothes. While you are already creating a sort of change, don’t just stop with your clothes and a couple of decorations. Look at your space, whether it be your entire home, where you work, where you sleep, wherever, and really take a moment to check it out. Is this a good space for you. Are you going to be able to continue to excel or do you maybe need to change something up. This is the time to make any changes that you need to in your physical space to continue on with your year.

Re evaluation your intentions for the year and evaluating your physical space go hand in hand right now. You’ll find that you have a fresh look both in your mind and in your space to accomplish everything that you want. And if you’re finding that you are starting to struggle or plateau in your intentions, this may be the little kick in the but you need to keep going.

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The 5 W’s of A Cuppa Cosy

I wanted to take a quick moment today and touch base with myself, with you, and just lay out who I am (which most of you probably already know), what A Cuppa Cosy is/what I want to do, where, when, and most importantly WHY.

So…

Speier Family in Alexandria, VA

Who: If you’ve been around for al little while you know who I am. If you’re new, hi! I’m Mia, a wife, mom, homemaker, business owner, and employee. I am a lover of all things cosy, an avid reader, a serious tea drinker and a semi adventurer. There are a few things I am passionate about (aside from my family) and those things are: mental and physical health, travel and being 100% in every aspect of your life. I don’t mince words, I wont BS you, and will always be 100% authentic.

What: This is a place for me to share my life, my stories, my everyday to help you not feel so alone. A feeling of meeting up with a good friend a chatting over a cup of tea/coffee. Someone that you feel like you are right in the trenches of life with in a place where not everything is perfectly curated with all the sunshine and daisies. A place that is true to every aspect of life, the good and the bad. I want to create a community of women and moms who are just experiencing life together.

Where: Well, I’ve got this blog which will feature 2 posts a week, along with a Facebook Page (HERE) and Instagram Page (HERE) for everyday day glimpses. I will also have a Facebook Group for the community and all of us to share day to day, but that is currently in development. Like & Follow the blog and social media and check back for updates on the Facebook Group!

When: Blog Posts will be posted on Mondays and Wednesdays- Mondays being more of a recap/spontaneous style, Wednesdays being more of a tip or learning post.

Why: I see a lot of either end of the spectrum- the perfectly coiffed, always perfect, ready to go mom and family OR the over the top hot mess, don’t care mom. I have not seen a place where there is a middle ground. Where there is a place that is both good and bad and in a way that is completely real and authentic. I didn’t see a view of just a real woman who is going through real life- with all of it’s ups and downs.

I want to help women and moms by sharing my story/life and giving them a real community to share, learn, and uplift so they can be their best selves in their own lives (all while being as cosy as possible 🙂 ).

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Coming Back from “Hot Mess-Ville”

It was a rough week. To be brutally honest, I had one of those weeks where by the end of it, you are just grateful to have gotten yourself, your husband, and your children through the week unscathed. I don’t even know if I could tell you what happened to set the week off, or how we got to such a rough spot, all I know was that somewhere along the way I had boarded the express train to Hot Mess-ville.

Normally I can still keep my head up if it is just one person in our family having a rough week. I can up the care that that person receives and adjust everything else as needed. But when everyone is just in that rough spot, it makes it ten times harder.

Let’s see…

Our oldest was just having an “off” week. There isn’t anything going on with him aside from an exacerbation of the normal 2 year old problems. It seemed like everything was magnified and even the littlest things became a major temper tantrum. We did a lot of bedroom cool downs, mom/dad snuggles, and just lay and cries with him. The combination of him being such a stubborn independent child, with a very full, strong willed personality makes for some good and some bad situations. We are still trying to learn what works best for him and how to teach him.

Our youngest was having a nice amount of his own issues as well. He’s getting those two top teeth and he is an angry teether (our oldest was quite mild with teething until his canines and molars). We had a lot of fussing, A LOT of snuggling, but not a lot of day time napping. I know I shouldn’t complain because he is an excellent night time sleeper, but daytime naps play such an integral role for both of the children and when they are cut back in time or don’t happen it makes for a tough rest of the day.

On top of that, both boys are going through growth spurts. It seemed like I was trying to feed double our household. I know this is going to be a situation we frequently encounter as they are boys and will continue to consume more food than I thought possible (our oldest had 2.5 pancakes for breakfast one morning?!) for the rest of their lives. At times it seemed that we would never get a reprieve from the crying.

With all of that going on, I was dealing with a come and go migraine all week long and was overall just feeling all out of sorts. I felt like I wasn’t accomplishing anything when it came to day to day tasks (although I was) and there were a couple moments over the week that I just ended up “throwing in the towel”. My husband was trying to sort out what his new assignment and responsibilities would be.

Somehow though, we’ve all made it through the week and it’s time to put this bad one behind us as we step into a new week. Things seem to already be looking up as I am writing this as we’ve got the grocery shopping done for the week (cheaper than last week!) and I have a bit of free time to just relax before getting dinner ready. I fully plan on enjoying my cup of tea and getting a little reading done while the kids (actually) nap! Ah such bliss after a rough week.

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What Motivates Me

*Please note- I don’t “do it all”. Most days I do what I can and simply let the rest go. Some days I don’t even end up getting that far. I’ve been on both sides and while I don’t have all of my $h** together, I try to at least do what I can do. This post is talking about what motivates me to do what I CAN do rather than how I “do it all”. *

A lot of times I get asked- “How do I do it?”. Balancing life, work, children, a home, etc is a lot. How do you manage? To start with, I don’t always, BUT if we want to go down that road…

While that is an excellent question and a good topic to talk on in the future; the more important question that should be asked is WHY do I do it? Why get up so early? Why keep everything tidy? Why get yourself ready every morning, even if you are not leaving the house? WHY????

To answer this question, you must look at one thing:

WHAT MOTIVATES YOU? What drives YOU to do what you do? EVERYONE has a lot going on in their lives and a balancing act is essential to anyone’s life. What is different for each person is not how that person does it, but why. Pinpointing this fact will help keep everything in perspective when you are trying to balance things (it may even end up helping you cut down some things that you do that aren’t “necessary” to your own balancing act).

For me,

  • I do it for my kids who deserve a mother who is at her best both mentally and physically.
  • I do it for my husband who works so hard, with long hours everyday, and doesn’t need to come home to a dirty home and whole bunch of other tasks. * Not to say that he doesn’t do anything at home- he helps out A LOT, but if I can take some of that strain off of him, I will.
  • Most importantly, I do it for myself. In order for me to be at my best and to take care of everyone I need to take care of myself. There are things that I like to do and get done throughout the day to keep both myself and my family running smoothly.

When you think about what motivates you, the why you do it suddenly becomes clear.

Why, you may still ask? I do what I do because I want to be at my personal best to be the best for myself and my family (and by extension my friends, my work, my business).

Being able to see my husband able to come home and simply relax after a long day, or my children having free reign of a clean house, or for me being able to sink into my chair with a book and a cup of tea- everything else becomes totally worth it.

It also helps me keep things into perspective with my own balancing act and really helps on those days when I feel like I don’t have anything “together”.

So, before you ask Why, think What Motivates You?

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