Every once in a while I will post something on Social Media that I want to have a longer “effect” of have be part of my archive with A Cuppa Cosy. It may even be something that I want to expand on and couldn’t within the constraints.
Whenever I run into this situation, I will post them on here, on Friday mornings, titled Friday Morning Cups. Intended to be read (as all of my posts are) over a cup of coffee or tea and maybe, if you are so driven to, start a conversation if needed. Maybe not, Sometimes they will be fun and light hearted, other times a more serious tone. Either way, for whatever reason, I want to make a spot for this type of post.
Here’s the “inaugural” post, from earlier this week.
In an effort to be completely open about my Eating Disorder…I’ve had this Garmin watch for 6 months and I had a Fitbit watch for about 2 years before that. I’ve always been a huge fan of fitness trackers and have really enjoyed being able to just kind of see where I am at with my exercise and my movement throughout the day. With where I was at in my recovery, I was still able to manage wearing a fitness tracker, see what all was going on, and be OK.
Of late though I’ve noticed a shift in my thought process towards my Garmin. To be more clear, I’ve noticed a shift in my thought process as to what I was tracking with it. I noticed some old habits starting to creep back into my mind. Some old thoughts that I hadn’t heard in a few years.
I noticed of recent how bad these thoughts had actually gotten. Funny how that realization often times doesn’t hit until it is full on in your brain. I am still over all in a good place in my recovery. I’ve not relapsed, but I have noted those thoughts. I will not let those thoughts win. I know where I am at in my life and, more importantly, I am HAPPY with where I am at.
To expand…I am at my healthiest, my happiest, my most confident and self assured. I”ve never felt so good about myself and what I’m doing with my life. Even with all of that and feeling so incredible, the littlest of things can attach in my mind and start that spiral.
This post is to show that there is no end. Recovery is on going and what may have been ok at one point, may not be ok anymore. Remember what those thoughts sound like and do not be afraid to break away from whatever is bringing those thoughts back into your mind. Even if that something is something that hasn’t been an issue before.
For me- I’ll be saving this watch for when I workout.