A Week Away…These are the Moments

This past week we went on the first of our two summer vacations. This first one was a special one as we decided to take a somewhat “spontaneous” trip to see some family. I say somewhat spontaneous as this was not in our original plans for this year, but rather we decided it about a month to a month and a half out. 

We’ve got family getting ready to move out of the country for a little bit and this was going to be the last chance to really get to see them and have the entire family together. It was also a good chance to get the boys together with their cousins and for us to just get a little bit of a break. We loaded up the car and headed on our way…

However crazy this past week has been between teething, sleeping, noise, and food, it was so so SO much fun! I always love being around family and it is such a blast to watch all of the grandkids playing together. The boys had so much fun playing with their cousins and ALL of the toys. They got to not only play with new toys, but the amount of learning that happens with that is so good.

We had fun getting away from work and catching up with family. It is good to just be able to disengage from your normal. To be able to break out of that routine and just breathe easy for a little while. Not have to almost rush through your days to get everything done, everyone fed and happy. It was nice to just focus on the boys and my husband for the week. 

It is so important to be able to get this time away; not only for my husband and I, but for our children as well. They can pick up on so many tiny little emotions and while they may not understand what it means, they can understand when Mommy and Daddy are tired/stressed/have a lot going on. They also then get stuck into these little ruts and getting out of that routine, even for only a couple of days (less than the week we did this time) is good for everyone.

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To My Boys Who Made Me A Mom

To my boys who made me a mom-

I’m going to go all mushy and disorganized here for a minute-although what else is new?

Sure this day may be all about appreciating Mothers and all that they do, but I want to take a minute for the boys (and my husband) who actually made me a mother.

When we first found out I was pregnant with our first, there was a nervous excitement. This was what we had wanted. What we prayed for. What would change our lives forever. We experienced that same feeling (then followed by a whole lot of sickness) with our second.

While I may remember what life was like before kids, I can’t imagine our lives without these two. These boys are the lights of our lives. They have brought such a happiness to our family and home. Watching them grow and learn has been the greatest joy of my day to day.

I love you both so incredibly much (so much so, sometimes it hurts) and thank you for letting me be your mom. For giving me the ultimate blessing of motherhood. I will always be there and will always work hard to be the best mom I can be for you.

To my husband- I couldn’t do this without you. Aside from the obvious biological reasons, I couldn’t imagine raising these boys or living our little life we’ve made without you.

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Motherhood.

Your whole world changes. You hear the heartbeat on the Ultrasound. You feel those light little kicks in your belly. Those first few contractions and signs of labour. Hearing the cry of your child for the first time. All those months of growing, planning, preparing and suddenly there he is. That little boy that you had once dreamed of having. Tears slowly start to fall from a cocktail of hormones, relief, joy, love, exhaustion, and a little bit of pure happiness mixed in. I remember both of those moments like it was just one minute ago. I remember the moment when the boys went from being a movement in my belly to a baby on my chest. Each time my life (and my husband’s) drastically changed.

I would not change it for the world. 

Motherhood is giving your whole life, your whole being over to someone else. Each of my boys has a piece of me that I will never get back. I love that and I wouldn’t change it for anything in the world. Not on the days that my patience is put to the test. Not on the days where I feel like I’ve failed them. Not on the days where I know I could give just a little bit more. Because that is Motherhood. 

I say all of the above, and now I’m going to say that Motherhood is not just taking care of your children. No, it is taking care of everything and everyone. Motherhood is becoming selfless in almost all senses. 

{I say almost because I still 100% believe that you have to take care of yourself before you can take care of others and to do that you must be selfish at some points.}

It is taking care of your children, your home, your significant other, yourself. It is learning how to balance all that life has to offer, to not only survive, but thrive in. It is learning how to fill your cup up while filling up others as well. It is finding your voice and using it. It is becoming the strongest person that you (and your spouse/children) know. It is about finding the good moments even when it seems like everything is rough. It is all these things and many more. 

For all of that, I salute any mother. Right now, I say thank you. Thank you for everything that you do. 

There is something that just clicked when I became a mother. Everything fell into place and even though I struggled (and boy did I struggle with our first), I knew, inherently, that I was doing exactly what I was meant to be doing. I was blessed with these little boys; to raise them, guide them, be there for them. It’s only the second time I have felt this overwhelming true feeling. 

It’s scary as hell, knowing that you are responsible for these little beings. That they are wholly dependent on you for a time, and at times I sure have wondered if I’m doing everything right. I’ve had plenty of moments of questioning myself, feeling like I’ve failed at one aspect or another, but in those moments I just try to remember that this is what I’ve been meant to do. 

I firmly believe that we are given no more than what we can handle. That even when life and things seem so overwhelming, that we can handle it. So, we carry on and move forward. We put our heads down and get through the rough phases because we know, that not only can we handle it, but that the other side of this phase is going to be wonderful. We try to survive and thrive in the rough phases and sit back and enjoy the smooth phases. 

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Raising Boys Episode 1: What I Didn’t Fully Appreciate

When we found out we were expecting our first, and that it was going to be a boy, we were inundated with helpful little tips, tricks, and ideas on what our like would start to be like. Of course, we had both been around children before and had a general idea of what raising our little blessing(s) would be. Then when we were expecting our second boy, again, a new level of tips and tricks of what having multiple children (especially boys) would be like. 

Fast forward about 2.5-3 years and we have actual knowledge of what raising our little blessing(s) is like. For the most part the actuality followed along with what our general idea was, but there are a few things that I feel like I hadn’t fully understood, until we had two boys. I figured this would be a fun little way to talk about the partially unexpected things that I have discovered along the way. 

Now, a couple of things before we begin. You may have seen some of these before, but I’m going to repeat them because they are true (and I didn’t fully appreciate that fact). While most of these are my experience with raising two boys, I am not going to be talking about the whole concept of anatomy when it comes to boys. I haven’t fully encountered those situations yet so maybe I’ll talk about that in a later posting? I do not plan on this being a one off thing. I think it would be fun to do these every once in a while just to see how things change, how the boys grow, and how my take on this changes. 

I will also say that at the time of this 1st edition, my boys are 2 years (and a couple months change) and 10 months old. 

  1. The noise level is beyond your imagination. I thought I knew noise. I thought I understand noise. I didn’t. To be honest, I’m fairly positive that this is just a general kid thing, but holy moly we have a very loud house at this point in time. Maybe at some point, our oldest will stop running laps around the house yelling at the top of his lungs, and the main communication between both boys will not be screeching. Maybe. 
  2. The energy level is beyond my wildest dreams. Again, this is probably just a general kid thing, but I swear our oldest just has some hidden unlimited store. He could rival the Energizer Bunny. Nothing seems to put a dent in that hidden energy store. He will spend an hour just running laps through our upper level and be completely fine. Our younger one isn’t quite up to his level, but he is getting there as well. I am awaiting the day that we can start to put them in sports, because I think they will both love them and hopefully it will use up some of that energy!
  3. The “fear factor” is non existent. There is not a lot that phases or scares either of our boys. They just go full speed ahead to whatever, whether that is climbing on the couch or running down a hill or wrestling with each other (yes we’ve already entered the wrestling phase- ugh). The wrestling one is the one that I watch a little closer as our youngest is still a little young for all the craziness, but they both really love it. And again, no fear when it comes to any of it. This was a hard one for my momma heart to adjust to, but it just kind of comes with our territory. 
  4. The amount of love they have to give is incredible. Boys are seriously just the sweetest. They catch in those unsuspecting moments and just melt your heart away. I am continuously in awe watching the two of them bond and just give love not only to each other, or to us, but to everyone around them. Our oldest just smiles and talks to almost anyone (we are starting to work on the whole concept of strangers), and our youngest is starting to warm up to people. It just warms my soul. 

So that is what I’ve got for the first edition! Have there been any bits of advice that you got that you didn’t full appreciate until you had kids? I’d love to hear them!

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Mid Week Meltdowns

Almost every week, like clockwork,  we have one day that is just all around rough.  A day where it just seems like both boys spend the day in tears, fighting, or just overall in a yuck mood. It has become such a part of our life, that I have coined the term “Mid Week Meltdown” to put a name on that day. Mid Week came from the fact that it is typically on a Wednesday. The exact middle of the week and both boys just go off to another world. Mid Week Meltdown days typically look something like this:

Now, we don’t experience this every single week, but it does occur quite frequently. While I don’t have a perfect way of dealing with these days, I have honed down just a couple of tips to keep myself sane, and then in turn help me help the boys out. This definitely isn’t perfect or even the best answer, but I have found that on days where nothing seems to be working, these are the things that I try to keep in mind on these days.

The first thing I try to remember is that it is just a phase/day/season. It will not stay forever. These rough days (or even full patches) are just that. They will come to an end, and both myself and our children will come through them with new tools. No matter how long the time may seem, it will resolve (or it’ll be bedtime haha).

The second thing I try to keep in mind is that my oldest is only two years old. He doesn’t possess the full vocabulary and knowledge to express everything that he is feeling/going through. Hell sometimes he can’t even truly express what he actually wants. Their brains are developing and while we can (and do) teach him, there are times when he just isn’t able to communicate what exactly it is that he needs in that moment.

What I have found in dealing with this is that alone time can be crucial. Hear me out with this one as it is an important lesson to learn, even with newborns. When the point comes (and it will come) that quite honestly NOTHING seems to be working. No tool in your toolbox is helping yourself or your kid and both of you are reaching the end of your rope, separation is key. Honestly I find that putting our oldest in his room- separating him from not only whatever it is that is causing the frustration and from me (who at this point is dwindling and holding on by a single piece of hair) solves a lot of the issue. We both have a chance to cool down, me in the quiet, him in the sanctuary of his own space, and just a few minutes later we re unite and are actually able to talk (and hug) and all is right again.

I don’t treat this as a time out. He has had time outs before and with those his toys are picked up off the floor in his room and he has a set period of time. This is more of a comfort time. Where he just needs the sanctuary of his own space where he can just take a moment to collect himself. We all need this time, even as adults.

Now, heading to rooms and walking away is not the first choice. It is not something I do right off the bat. I usually try and work with our oldest and see if we can work together to figure out whatever is causing the problem. However there are times where the only thing that will really work is him going into his room and take a little break. When these times come, I am more than happy to let him go into his room, his sanctuary, and take a moment to himself. 90% of the time he takes a couple of minutes, calms down, and it’s as if nothing ever happened. We have some squeezes, a kiss and off we go to play.

Have you experienced a meltdown? What are your tips?

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The 5 W’s of A Cuppa Cosy

I wanted to take a quick moment today and touch base with myself, with you, and just lay out who I am (which most of you probably already know), what A Cuppa Cosy is/what I want to do, where, when, and most importantly WHY.

So…

Speier Family in Alexandria, VA

Who: If you’ve been around for al little while you know who I am. If you’re new, hi! I’m Mia, a wife, mom, homemaker, business owner, and employee. I am a lover of all things cosy, an avid reader, a serious tea drinker and a semi adventurer. There are a few things I am passionate about (aside from my family) and those things are: mental and physical health, travel and being 100% in every aspect of your life. I don’t mince words, I wont BS you, and will always be 100% authentic.

What: This is a place for me to share my life, my stories, my everyday to help you not feel so alone. A feeling of meeting up with a good friend a chatting over a cup of tea/coffee. Someone that you feel like you are right in the trenches of life with in a place where not everything is perfectly curated with all the sunshine and daisies. A place that is true to every aspect of life, the good and the bad. I want to create a community of women and moms who are just experiencing life together.

Where: Well, I’ve got this blog which will feature 2 posts a week, along with a Facebook Page (HERE) and Instagram Page (HERE) for everyday day glimpses. I will also have a Facebook Group for the community and all of us to share day to day, but that is currently in development. Like & Follow the blog and social media and check back for updates on the Facebook Group!

When: Blog Posts will be posted on Mondays and Wednesdays- Mondays being more of a recap/spontaneous style, Wednesdays being more of a tip or learning post.

Why: I see a lot of either end of the spectrum- the perfectly coiffed, always perfect, ready to go mom and family OR the over the top hot mess, don’t care mom. I have not seen a place where there is a middle ground. Where there is a place that is both good and bad and in a way that is completely real and authentic. I didn’t see a view of just a real woman who is going through real life- with all of it’s ups and downs.

I want to help women and moms by sharing my story/life and giving them a real community to share, learn, and uplift so they can be their best selves in their own lives (all while being as cosy as possible 🙂 ).

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A Lesson Well Learned…A Little Recap

I feel like I’ve had those back to back weeks where you just don’t catch a break. The first week was just a rough week. Everything that could go wrong went wrong and we all just tried to hold on to the ride. This past week, I felt like I was a hamster on a wheel; never stopping and never getting anywhere. I had SO MUCH that I was trying to accomplish. So many thoughts and ideas constantly going through my head, that it felt like if I didn’t get them out right then and there, they would disappear into the great unknown of my brain.

Basically, rough week followed by insane week. I’ll let you be the judge as to which type of week is worse.

It was around Wednesday or so that I realized I didn’t even know how I was spending my time. I was so far on the wheel, that I couldn’t truly account for where my time I had gone. Sure, I know what hours and work I had accomplished for my part time work, but beyond that- no idea. I was head deep in everything else that I needed to do, needed to get done, and needed to get out of my head that I hadn’t even taken two seconds to look outside. IMG_0491

It was a beautiful day on Wednesday. A perfect day some would say (seeing how the weather turned bad quickly, others may say it was a “calm before the storm”). The sun was bright, not many clouds in sight and whats more, it was the perfect temperature. I sat at our dining room table just stunned for a moment as the realization of what was going on hit me.

I needed to get off that wheel and get off it fast. I decided that lunchtime on that beautiful day would be spent outside, getting some rays (and Vitamin D!) and just overall reveling in what was a perfect little break. Not only did I come back in feeling much more refreshed and ready to get back into the thick of things, but I got some much needed free time with my children. Such freedom is found when you can just galavant across the backyard.

To top off my insane week even further, at some point in the past week my youngest started developing more of that “big boy” look to him. He is still young and is still a baby, but he just started looking and doing things that just made my mommy heart cry out- my little baby is starting to grow up. I didn’t even know when that had started, just a week ago he was still wanting to snuggle and sleep on my chest (ok, ok, he still does some of that) and now here he is, standing against furniture, babbling, scooting all over the place, and just overall acting and starting to look like a little boy rather than a baby.

It took these two “shocks” to my system to remind myself of a couple things.

One, I am never going to get these times back. My children are not always going to want to just run around with mommy in the backyard. They aren’t always going to find that little joy in the birds flying overhead or the trees swaying in an absolutely ridiculous windstorm.

Two, anything that falls with number one goes ahead of ANYTHING else. My little family is above anything else. It is so easy to get caught up in everything else that is going on and trying to get things done and it can be so hard to see that you are losing sight of what is truly important until you have a moment like I did on Wednesday.

We’ve had a relatively easy weekend, getting back from the insanity of the week and re grounding ourselves into our little family and just focusing on each other.

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A Not So Noteworthy Revelation | A Weekly Recap

I was thinking and thinking about what to write about today in this little recap. A lot has happened this week, but it was more of random bits and not really a huge post worthy situation. Little things here and there- Colton finally loosened the “sticking” of his door enough to open it without us, Andrew continued on his quest to conquer the entire house, me hitting my eye on the corner of our nightstand- but nothing that I really felt truly noteworthy. Then, in the course of my weekend, I realized something really important this past weekend and while it didn’t come as a huge surprise, it definitely solidified my thoughts in this stage of our lives.

Over this past weekend I decided to do something special for my business that would require my full attention for a whole weekend. Even though I would still be at home, my husband would be taking over all of the child care and just overall weekend chores. I’ve done a whole weekend once before at the end of September for a craft show, but for that weekend I actually left the house and was physically away during the day.

I think that it is so so important that everyone have some self care and take a little time to treat themselves, away from family, spouses, whomever. This self care can take different shape for different people and will be different lengths of time for different people. For me, typically, I’ll take a couple hours every couple weeks to go get pampered or go to the bookstore. This past weekend though, I decided to take a whole weekend and stay home, be by myself, and just read. *There is more to this, but I am shortening it for the point of this post.*

Honestly- I don’t think I will be doing it again at all in the near future. I’m just not in a space or time in my life that I really want to spend time without my children. I always knew that I wouldn’t be someone to be actively taking time away from my kids or traveling without them, but this weekend just continued to solidify that for me. Taking a couple hours of time away from them or having a date night out with my husband is one thing, but I do not want to actively choose to do things separately from them or spend a whole weekend without them.

It is quite simply not for me. If it works for someone else or is important to someone else that is completely fine, it’s just not for me. The whole weekend I felt like something was missing. Not that I was missing any big moments or anything super special, but not being able to just be doing the everyday things with them – I felt like something was missing.

My children definitely had their moments as well where they just wanted mommy and while I would take some time to be with them, it definitely wasn’t what was normal. I know that this is good for them and they had a good time with their dad and that it is good on all counts to have a little time away, but a whole weekend is a long time.

I honestly would NEVER judge another mom or dad who decided to take a weekend away and I know that this opinion may change as the continue to grow older, BUT at this time in our lives I just don’t think I could do it again. I think I’ll just continue to stick with a couple of hours here and there.

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