Friday Morning Cups

To anyone that’s reading this-this is important. Read on because I have a little story to share.

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This past week had a couple of rough spots. A couple of days where things just overloaded. Where my patience really stretched thin and things started falling through the cracks. My fuse seemingly disappeared and while there wasn’t any sort of breakdown or really bad moments, it was just a week that wore on me.

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Sunday morning I decided to take a little breather. To get out of the house by myself, go to a coffee shop and sit, read and re charge my batteries. I came back to the house feeling so much better. My attitude had shifted. No longer did I have a zero fuse, no longer did I find myself yelling or snapping. I got the to do list done in record time and all with a little smile on my face. I was a better wife and a better mom.

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Now my husband isn’t one to really comment on this type of thing BUT even HE noticed the shift. He told me “If 45 minutes to yourself is all it takes, so that everyday”. He got it. He saw the shift and it clicked.

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Everyone- that time for yourself is SO important. I talk about this so much because it makes a huge difference. That saying is true- you can’t pour from an empty cup.

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Real Talk: Body Image

This is a rather sensitive topic for me, given my own issues, but I really want to talk about our body image. While we were on vacation, I was sitting outside in this little pair of short shorts and a tank top that I would have normally felt a little self conscious in. As I was sitting there, honestly marveling at the fact that I was once again in a clear headspace to wear what I was wearing (and not immediately freak out), I had a moment to just think. Think about body image, body positivity, confidence, etc. 

Let’s be completely honest, no matter how confident you are, how comfortable you are within your own skin, we all have those moments. Moments where we second guess how we look. Whether what we are wearing really compliments our body, or if it highlights that one area you feel can never get back to where it was. It happens to everyone, men & women, at any age. 

In fact, I challenge anyone to be able to say that they have been confident and comfortable in their own skin all their life. If you are, that is awesome! I am not. I have not been that many a time. 

The self criticism is hard to fight and I’m not going to sit hear and say, oh love your body the way it is. The fact of the matter is, we all have those moments and that’s OK! I feel like these days, there is such a push of body positivity, loving our bodies, celebrating them. That’s all well and good, but it’s not always realistic. I don’t always love my body and I am not going to sit here and tell you that you must love your body.

It’s OK to not be happy about how your body looks, just like it’s ok to be perfectly content with how your body looks. It’s also ok to feel a bit of both.

I typically lie right in the middle of those two trains of thought. I love 75% of the way my body looks, but there are a couple of things I wish I could change. That is just how I feel. Is some of that simply just that little negative voice in my head (I’m sure you know the one I am talking about)? Yes. Am I working on changing what I can? Yes (and more importantly, I am doing it in a healthy way). So, why do I care about how I actually look in that particular outfit? Am I going to look any different in a different outfit? Maybe, but who cares. I felt so good lying in the sun, relaxing, watching our older boy run around in the grass. Why should I let thoughts of what anyone else (aside from my husband), including that negative little voice in my head, destroy that feeling?

So, what I really want anyone reading this to get, is that it’s OK to not be happy with your body and it’s ok to be body confident. What is more important to keep in mind is that no matter how you feel about your body, you can’t let that stop you from enjoying life. Wear what you want- do what you want. Have a little dress, or in my case, that pair of short shorts and wear it!

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Real Talk: Spring Outlook (Spring Cleaning Part 3)

I’ve started off April in a rush to purge, to clean, to have a fresh outlook on how the year is progressing in our life. This included purging a lot of items, doing a deep clean of our house and now that both of those items are done, it is time to look out our spaces, our mindset, our intentions for 2018 to see what we can freshen up.

I’m a big believe in always coming back to your intentions. Always revisit any goals (or *cringe* resolutions) you’ve set for the year and see how your progress is going. It is a good thing to check and see what is working and what isn’t working. Where are you thriving? Where could you use a little work? What can you tweak or re set with to continue on the path that you want for yourself this year.

As I’ve mentioned before, Spring is a great time to do just this. Not only do we all naturally start to shed away the layers of winter, but Spring almost brings the same feelings as the New Year with that fresh start, fresh outlook type of feeling.This is the time to take a step back and re evaluate how your year has started. We are still early enough into the year that a lot can be accomplished. It’s OK if you’ve looked at your intentions for the year and decided that you need to jus scrap them and start fresh. It’s also OK to say I’ve been rocking these and I want to take it up to the next level. NOW is such a great time to make these adjustments and changes.

In coming back to our intentions, I’m a big believer in setting up our spaces, setting up our day to day, to reflect what we want to accomplish and what we need in our life. Spring naturally allows us to freshen up our wardrobe and spaces by having warmer temperatures, more sunshine, and a general feeling of “freshness” in the air. We are already having to shed those thick winter layers and large fleece blankets for shorter t shirts and lighter sheets. Windows start to open more frequently (which already leads to a more positive outlook) and allows you to look at yourself and your space for another change.

Often times with Spring, we bring down the lighter blankets, put out the pastel decorations, and shorter clothes. While you are already creating a sort of change, don’t just stop with your clothes and a couple of decorations. Look at your space, whether it be your entire home, where you work, where you sleep, wherever, and really take a moment to check it out. Is this a good space for you. Are you going to be able to continue to excel or do you maybe need to change something up. This is the time to make any changes that you need to in your physical space to continue on with your year.

Re evaluation your intentions for the year and evaluating your physical space go hand in hand right now. You’ll find that you have a fresh look both in your mind and in your space to accomplish everything that you want. And if you’re finding that you are starting to struggle or plateau in your intentions, this may be the little kick in the but you need to keep going.

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Real Talk: Winter Blues

Let’s face it- February and March are two of the hardest months of the year. All of the momentum and excitement from the New Year is starting to wear off and winter is usually the worst in these two months. The slump because real when the skies seem to be a never-ending shade of grey, the temperatures are frigid (although we have had a couple good days) and those super cute summery clothes are mocking you from the deep recesses of your closet.

While I personally am a fan of grey, rainy, dreary weather, I too can become a victim of the Winter Blues. When everything becomes stagnant, and there seems to be a general slump of feelings and just sadness. As cheesy as it sounds, the sun plays a vital role in your feelings and well being. It’s always cheery when it’s sunny. Right now though it’s a rough time of year and it is super easy to just let those feelings take over your life and seep into everything you do.

I recently posted about my top 5 tricks to getting out of a bad mood/day, which you can find HERE. This Real Talk is kind of an extension of that, because this is such a time of year for these types of feelings. The Winter Blues are kind of a tough cookie to deal with because it’s not always so simple to break out of those slumps. Sometimes it’s all you can do to just hold on and ride the slump out till better days hit. If you can though, it’s always better to try and pick yourself up and keep moving forward.

So, how do you do that?

Find one positive thing in everyday. This may sound like an over simplification, and in some ways it is, but realistically if you try and focus on the good the bad doesn’t have a chance to take over. The positive thing may only be that you got out of bed and put on real clothes instead of just sweats or it may be that you crossed every item on your to do list off. It doesn’t matter how big or little you think the positive thing is, find it.

By making a choice at the end of everyday to find one positive thing you will not only find that there are more than a few positive things, but you will find yourself a little more energized to do more the next day. By continuing to focus on the little “wins” of everyday, you will slowly turn your mindset around and before you know it, you’ll be out of that Winter Blues slump.

So what do you do when the Winter Blues hit? Do you find that you are able to quickly bounce through those blues and back to a happy mood or does it take you a little while to get back into your happy place?

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Real Talk: Self Worth

Hello, hello! I am kicking off a new series today that I am calling Real Talk. What is real talk? You know when you go to coffee or speak with your close friends about all sorts of topics? Where you have a good laugh or when you have a serious conversation all over a cuppa tea or really any cup of something yummy. That is what I intend for real talk. A casual chat on a different topic once a month. Some of them will be tip posts, some will be personal experiences with the topics, and some will be a combination of both. I want all of them to be a discussion opportunity.

Today I want to talk about Self Worth. To me, self worth is different from self esteem or self confidence, although it goes along the same train of thought. Self Confidence and Self Esteem start with Self Worth. Self Worth is the value that you know of yourself. That you give yourself. Knowing what you have to offer is extremely important and something that only you can determine. Here’s the problem- you are always worth more than you think or feel you are. I promise you that. So, determine your worth in your own mind and then double that (at least).

The most important thing to remember with Self Worth is that NO ONE else determines YOUR self worth. YOU know what YOU can do, what YOU bring to the table, and YOU know that YOU are doing YOU’RE best (unless you’re not and then that is a totally different conversation).

When you keep those things in mind, you should not have a problem. Anyone can try and question that worth or have a problem seeing that, but you know what you’re worth and what you bring. I came across a quote recently that I felt was perfect to repeat:

“Your value isn’t going to decrease simply because someone can’t see it”

When you feel like you’re worth is being questioned by someone else, do not let that make you question yourself. Remember, NO ONE can tell YOU what YOU are worth. That is something that you decide and it doesn’t just change on a whim. It is one of the hardest conflicts because feelings come into play and things can quickly spiral downward. To stop that from happening, Repeat the following: NO ONE determines my worth. NO ONE can dictate what I am worth in any situation.

What are your thoughts? Do you feel like you have had your self worth questioned? What do YOU do when you feel this way?

Till Next Time…#33537 Mia Speier SL final

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