Disconnecting Myself

I’ve never been one that is constantly on Social Media and as I’ve grown in myself and older, I’ve realized that I’m not really one that likes to constantly be on the phone at all. It’s been something I’ve been noticing as I go through the different phases of enjoying the phone and Social Media and then the times when I seemingly just shut everything off/down. And actually, I really just long for the time before everyone had smart phones and Social Media was THE thing to be doing ALL THE TIME.

Lately I’ve been noticing that I have starting to be on my phone a little TOO much. Spending a little too much time paying attention to everything, being connected to everything and in this day and age, it can get to be…well a bit much. It all really came to a head a couple weeks ago when, at the end of a day, I sat back and realized I didn’t really do much. Most of my day had been spent scrolling through my phone. That may not be what my everyday is like, I had noticed that it was starting to become more and more prominent in my day.

So, I’m going to start disconnecting. Making a purposeful decision to not mindlessly scroll through Social Media or just mess around on the internet. Making a decision to put my phone down and not to just pick it back up a little bit later. To take a step back from the constant-ness of being connected all the time. To not ALWAYS be available right at the moment. 

There are things happening right now, happening in the present moment that I will never get back. I love being present with my family in every moment that I can and I’ve been realizing lately that even those times when I am multi tasking on my phone, I am missing out on these little moments. 

So, what does this mean, really? Nothing much of a change outwardly. I’ll be posting my regular amount on Social Media, but what I won’t be doing is just sitting around, mindlessly scrolling. It means that my phone will not be going everywhere with me and that I’m looking forward to that! 

I want to challenge myself to get back to where I was just a few short months ago, where I didn’t really feel the need to pull out my phone. I was not only more present, but I also had a clarity about my day. 

Between work and the bits that I do on the computer for my business and blog, I am on technology as much as it is. It’s time to disconnect. To get away from Social Media and Technology and get back into the real moments that make up life. 

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One Small Act

There used to be a commercial on TV (it may still be on- I’m not really sure) that had a whole sequence of people doing kind acts for each other. It went through and said so and so did this for so and so who then did this for so and so and on and on. It cycled through about 7 instances and after each, the person would smile and do an act of kindness for the next person who needed it. Seems like a common occurrence (or common decency) in our everyday, right?

Wrong.

I have to say, somewhere along the way of the past few years we’ve really lost our sense of kindness towards others. Our sense of compassion. 

Maybe it’s the state of the world we live in. Maybe it’s sensationalized news stories. Maybe we are all just too wrapped in ourselves, our lives, our things and our technology. I don’t know. All I know is I don’t see many of those little acts of kindness anymore. 

I’m tired of making excuses for this lack of kindness. It’s not something we do intentionally, but the rationalization that we give for poor behavior is insane. The whole “maybe they are just having a bad day” or “Well there is obviously more than meets the eye” is unacceptable. Maybe you are having a rotten day or something else is going on, but it doesn’t give an automatic get out of being kind card. 

I want to bring kindness and compassion back. I want to start seeing people pull away from their own lives and be drawn into the world. Stop and say hello to someone. Offer a seat. Come out of your own little bubble, your own life and look around you. Is someone in need of help? It could be as simple as holding a door, or offering directions. It may be more complex. Whatever it may be, that person will remember and thank you for the kindness you showed. That may have been all they needed to put a smile on their face. Or, they may not appreciate it at all. They may grumble and just move on. Honestly it shouldn’t matter what their reaction will be. In the end, you will feel better and more connected to what is going on around you.

I want to challenge you to find a couple ways to show kindness (and compassion) in your everyday. I know I will be. 

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Summer Favorites!

Ah Summer…a time of heat, humidity, and endless sunshine. I love the sunshine bit, am ok with the heat portion, but hate the humidity! We are halfway through “Summer” and with August always having been what seemed to be the most unbearable month (I mean, seriously so close to Fall and yet so so far away), I thought I would share some of my favorites for this season. 

Swell bottle, apricots, Strawberry Lemonade Smoothie, shorts, tank, sandals, simple skin care, ray bans, books (Something in the Water, 

So, shall we start with the food bits and work our way around?

  1. S’well Bottle: This has been seriously a fantastic water bottle. I know it seems strange to talk about a water bottle, but honestly during the summer you need to hydrate and at least this way we are not using a plastic bottle, and it looks cute!
  2. Apricots: Seriously, everyone talks about watermelon all summer long and while I love a good watermelon, I seriously obsess over apricots. So so so delicious and my go to pick me up in summer months!
  3. Strawberry lemonade smoothie: I’ll link the recipe to this HERE, but it is so good! It has a really good combination of the sweet berry, but tart lemonade and the yogurt gives it just the right consistency. I’ll be drinking this for a long long time. 

Let’s talk clothes now:

  1. A high waisted pair of short shorts: Now I was never a big “high waisted” anything fan, I always thought it looked odd on me, but these shorts are so comfortable and with a cute half tucked (or cropped) top it comes out as a cute summer outfit. 
  2. A dress up or down tank: I’ve had this particular tank top for years and years, but I absolutely love it. You can dress it up with a blazer and some heals, or down with a pair of flats and ripped jeans. You can’t go wrong with a top like this during summer. It is loose, short, and cute. 
  3. A good pair of Sandals: Now I’m giving two different options, flip flops or actual sandals, either works. For flip flops I either like my Rainbow’s or my Nike’s and for sandals, this American Eagle pair is the only pair that I really reach for. All of the options are super comfortable, casual, and just give into that relaxed Summer vibe.
  4. Sunglasses: Can’t go wrong with sunglasses and I’ve got two pairs that I reach for. Both are by Ray Ban, one pair being their standard Aviators and the other being the Erika set. Love em both!

A big part of summer is taking care of your skin. With the summer sun, the shorter bottoms, tank tops, and lounging poolside or partying the night away (whichever you prefer), there is a lot of damage that could be done. I’ve always believed in taking care of your skin, but have never actually done it up until the past few years. I’ve been loving the Simple Skin Care Range, Cleanser, Miceller Water, Eye Make Up Remover, and the CeraVe Lotion. About once or twice a week I will exfoliate and then use my Clarisonic Mia to pamper myself a smidge. 

The last bit on my Summer Faves is books. I’m not going to give a comprehensive list as I have a totally separate business all about books, but I figured I would give some of my recommendations for Summer Reading. Now I should say, I’m not a contemporary/romance reader, so a good amount of these are Summer Thrillers. 

  1. Something in the Water by Catherine Steadman
  2. When Breathe Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi
  3. Finding Fraser by KC Dyer
  4. Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng
  5. My Lady Jane & My Plain Jane by The Lady Janies

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Real Talk: So, Why Do We Care?

I’ve spoken about confidence and how we grow into ourselves and in turn our self confidence grows. During that (I called it) ramble (which you can read HERE and HERE), I mentioned that with confidence, you hit a point that you just stop caring about what others think of you. Because honestly, while the two may not always be linked, that is a big part of confidence. Being so confident in yourself that you do not care what others think of you. 

So, why do we care? Why is what other people think of us so important to us? You can’t please everyone and not everyone is going to like you. Even those who do like you, may not like some of the things that you do/say. Why do we put so much stock in that?

When you think about what others think of you, you give them power over you. You allow them to control how you live your life. You allow them to change what you say or believe. You allow someone (often times a complete stranger) to personally affect you to your core. 

Why would you want to let someone else have control over your life? You are giving someone else power over you. Power to influence you, to change you in a way that you may not want. We all grow and change, but the important thing is that we are doing that because WE want to, not because someone made a mean comment. 

This may sound dramatic, but even something as simple as changing your outfit because you think someone may say something about it. Allowing what others MIGHT think about you, change anything about you is failing yourself. It is selling yourself short.

Similar to this is not speaking up when you want to say something, or saying things that you may not believe to please others. 

If you are having second thoughts about something, it is important to determine why you are having second thoughts. Are you having those thoughts because you are worried about what others will say? Are you having them because you yourself are not sure? This difference is key because it lets you know whether you are making the change because you want it, not because of what some other random person may say.

We can be so impressionable at times, especially in areas where we may feel even more vulnerable, and it is important to remember who you are. 

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Sharing is Caring…Right?

We have encountered a new “fun” problem in our home With a new mobile, very determined 7.5 month old and a stubborn, also very determined 2 year old this issue was bound to pop up sooner or later, it was just a matter of when…and over what toy.

Enter the toy (two toys actually)…the Little People farm animals from Fisher Price and a Thomas the Train train set (which yes, I know is a potential choke hazard – Littlest didn’t actually end up playing with them). One child peacefully, blissfully playing with a toy. Second child spots said toy. All chaos ensues because a temper tantrum is perfect at 9AM and we are only just entering the realm of sharing- our oldest is only just encountering the idea of sharing his toys.

I knew this day would come. I know playtime will sometimes be such sweet blissful moments of them playing together and there will sometimes be blow ups and tantrums over who had what toy and how to play. I couldn’t predict what would set it off, I didn’t know how we would handle it or what would work for the boys. What I do know is that sharing has now become a part of playtime for the past week or so.

Most of the time a simple “No, your brother is playing with that, why don’t you play with (insert toys across the room)” seems to do the trick. If they both are super determined to play with that same toy, we have a “divy it up” system, where one boy picks one part and the other picks a different part. Example: the Little People, we split up the animals. Sometimes they fight over the barn, but typically it is just the animals. By dividing the toys, they actually end up being able to play well together.

For those times neither of those works? Well, you’ve got me there. Most of the time there is an underlying cause that is causing the temper tantrum and once we can figure that out, things are good to go. If there isn’t, then it just has to be cried out. Sometimes our children just need to cry and as much as that may be irritating to us as parents, it’s what they need and I let it happen – even if it means they go to their room and do it while I enjoy a cup of tea in the living room.

How did you handle sharing? WE are still so new to this sharing/fighting bit that we are still learning and navigating the ropes.

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