A Chatty Re-evaluation and Sharing Joy

I didn’t really have a post planned for today. Or rather, I had a million different ideas on what to post, posts prepared, and none of it really felt…right. I’m not sure- I’m kind of entering a bit of a funk with the blog. Not in a bad way, just in a…where do we go from here kind of way. What do I share? How do I share it? Do I even need to share it?

You could say in some ways there is a bit of an imposter syndrome moment happening over here. I hate saying it like that because I don’t know that that is exactly what it is. I go through these moments throughout the year of wondering if I really add any value (which HA wake up Mia- that IS Imposter Syndrome). These moments tend to come at times where there just isn’t a lot going on with life. Or at times when I feel like I’m creating much better…content in other spaces on the internet (videos on IG are really sparking a special kind of joy lately). 

I’m basically in a space where I want to reevaluate ever so slightly what I’m doing. A lot of the things that I’ve written about in the past, and tend to focus on, are…well not happening this year. We don’t have many trips planned because of life and work and such; we don’t have much going on that I can talk and share about publicly (not that I would necessarily choose to do, but I’ve always somewhat shared things that are affecting us). And so, I’ve just been trying to figure out what I actually want to write and talk about. This has been a thing that seems to happen every couple years – I tend to look back and forward to see where things stand (believe it or not I’ve been blogging in some form for 8 years now!). 

 So, what is going on? Well, the boys are on winter recess this year- I’m always shocked at how independent and self…sufficient, self-entertained they are getting as the months go by. I’ve filled in some of our days with playdates and errands (ambitious of me given the weather that’s coming in), but I’ve also scheduled in some time at home to rest and play. They’ve become amazing at simply playing together in their given spot in the house- whether that’s their room or the Lego area downstairs and allowing me to get things done or have a bit of quiet time. It’s shocking in some ways, sad in others, but overall, just super helpful haha. It’s a new level of parenthood that I’ve been grateful and sad to step in to- like much of parenthood. 

I’ve been a bit of a reading fiend this past week or so- I’ve just been devouring books in a way I haven’t in a long time. It’s been so refreshing to spend so much free time in between the pages of a book, to challenge my reading abilities, and just escape. When I’m not reading, I’m creating or I’m parenting, and I’ve just found a real joy in those three things together. 

It’s funny- when I picked my word for the year back at Rosh Hashanah (the Jewish New Year- read about it HERE). I had no idea just how much it would guide and ring true to me. I’ve found life to be filled with so much joy these past few months, even when its hard or when I’m feeling a bit down. I’ve once again found a contentedness to our lives, a complete space of peace with where things are at just right now. I’m looking forward to experiencing more of this joy throughout the year- and sharing it with you! 

Something I’ve been thinking about implementing it’s a bit more of the slice of life stuff that I share over on Instagram. Not in the same way, maybe when I put together a reel or video of something we’ve done- I might do a little blog post here, go into a bit more detail, share links if needed and so forth. I feel like I want to immortalize some of these just true joys filled moments in so many ways and I think finding a spot on my blog for them might be good- especially as I’m reevaluating my content on here as it is. 

With that being said, if you’ve made this far through all my waffling – I want to share two little pieces of joy from the past week or so! 

The first was our little Valentine’s Day celebration. The boys had a half day at school (which was full of parties and card/gift exchanges), so I decided to put together a little something for the afternoon. I told them to work with each other to pick one movie, one of their favorites, while I put together a “little” charcuterie board. Well, the “little” charcuterie board ended up going a bit overboard and we spent all afternoon curled up in the living room eating a variety of cheese, salami, crackers, and fruit while watching Star Wars. I also made a special heart shaped Challah that was topped with pink and red X/O sprinkles and filled with chocolate. We made a total of three loaves, two of which were shared with friends, and enjoyed it all week long! It was a small but very special event for the boys and me. 

The second was a reading challenge I did over the weekend. I’ve done these challenges before- usually a read for 24/48hrs or something along those lines, but this time I had three books that I really wanted to read and wanted to read now. I knew they would all be compulsively readable- as in once I started, I wouldn’t be able to stop before I finished, so I decided to go for it!

And somehow, I managed to read all three in the three-day weekend. I managed to read The Very Secret Society of Irregular Witches by Sangu Mandanna, Radiant Sin by Katee Robert, and Finlay Donovan Knocks ‘Em Dead by Elle Cosimano in 3 days! I surprised myself as this was a challenge, I didn’t know I could succeed at, the kids are one winter recess (which started a day early), I was trying to do a couple of fun things for them a movie night, and two hockey nights, AND I was doing it all solo- just me and the boys. But remember how earlier I talked about how independent and grown and self-engaged they’ve become? It was a real game changer for the weekend.

So that’s it on this chatty little Winter Recess post! Coming up I’ve got my monthly reading wrap up, a Jewish Literature post (that’s been written and waiting for a minute now), and maybe a little royal commentary! 

Real Talk: Long Term Love

I know, I know…talking about love on Valentines Day- cheesy. Bare with me for a minute though 🙂 Love is a perfect real talk topic and when better to talk about it than the most highly “publicized” day devoted to love. *I will clarify that we do not actually do anything for Valentines Day in our relationship for various reasons*

Speier Family in Alexandria, VA

Maybe you picture love as it is portrayed in most movies- all sorts of beautiful romantic grand gestures; always being completely and utterly smitten. Maybe you picture moments of intense passion – an intense disagreement ending in a passionate “embrace”. In both scenarios ultimately everything is absolutely and completely perfect, with love being completely romantic and…well…love.

While both of those visions may occur during your relationship, there will also be times of normal. Where you and your spouse are just doing life together. Riding the ups and downs together, weathering a storm or basking in a sunny glow. While you may not feel that all encompassing smitten feeling go away, there will be a point where it does subside a bit and life takes over. When that moment comes it, I’ve learned that two things are essential to keep that feeling fresh in your mind and heart:

  1. Don’t compare your partner to anyone else. COMPARISON IS THE THIEF OF HAPPINESS. You did not marry that perfect man in the movies (or TV shows) and there is a reason for that. As we all know, what we see in the movies and on TV is NOT always real and not the way life always unfolds. The individual that you have chosen to spend your life with has their own qualities and perfectness to them. There is a reason that you are with them. It’s true when they say, you don’t find the perfect person, but the person who is perfect for you. I will be the first to say that my husband IS super romantic, although not in ways that people (or I) expect or realize. I love him exactly as he is (and has been) and he is perfect for me in every way. I would not want a man that “seems” perfect, because to me that is not realistic.
  2. Take care of your relationship. It has been said time and again, relationships are like gardens. They need to be watered and taken care of in order to truly blossom and flourish. Sure, you may be working around conflicting crazy schedules and children and many other factors, but you’ve GOT TO take care of your relationship. There is always more that you can do to help, more that you can do to take care of your relationship. Find your “thing”, to keep coming back and connecting to your spouse. In our home, we do one night on the weekend where there are no phones, no books, no distractions. It is just us (and the kids- for at least a bit of the night). Starting off before the kids go to bed, we have an easy to make (or take out/order in) dinner, and some sort of movie (or tv show catch up) afterwards. At some point in all of this the kids go to bed and we curl up on our big couch to just take a bit of time for each other. This allows us to reconnect and take a little time for each other. We do also take a proper date night out every so often when it works out between kids and schedules as well as just getting in little snippets of time of just the two of us throughout the month. We tend to be more of the homebody couple and love to just have a relaxed evening in rather than going out. This is what works for us in our current season of life and you will need to find what will work for you and your spouse. It may also change throughout the phases of life.

When you stick to both of those things, your relationship will not only thrive, but you will have that same completely and utterly smitten feeling that you see portrayed on your screen. Not only will this feeling stay, but you and your spouse will thrive through all of the phases of life, good and bad.