A Little Back End/Brand A Cuppa Cosy Reflection

***This post applies to what I’ve learned over the past year or so with my personal blog. It is not advice for anyone who is trying to run a business or have a full on brand. Just something I’ve come to learn/realize about myself, my blog, my “brand”.

I’ve been working on some behind the scene things in the blogging and social media world. Hemming and hawing over look, messaging, brand, a lot of back end stuff…

There is so much thought that goes into a lot of blog or Social Media postings for anyone. Even for the most random of personal blogs, there is still some planning and thought for posts. If you follow any influencer, or social media “assistant”, or really anyone who helps with these things, the big push is to know what your brand IS. Even as a personal blog it is important to know and differentiate what YOU bring to the table. Knowing that will turn a casual person who just stumbles onto a post into a lifelong follower or even a friend. So, it can be important.

A lot of times we are told to have one “thing”, something that stands out or makes us different from the other million blogs out there. A lot of times you’ll see it on Social Media, accounts use the same style filters for their pictures, or the same style of editing, similar captions…one cohesive look that is “them”.

This is not a BAD thing. It really works well, allows the casual viewer to know who the post is from, what it is saying, it gives an idea of who you are and what your brand is. What you are doing. It’s good to have a logo, a tagline, and a rough color/mood scheme. Beyond that though, I’m not entirely sure.

Here’s the thing…I don’t have a brand or an aesthetic. It’s just…me. What you see is what you get. Sometimes serious, sometimes goofy, always with a mug and a smile. And maybe that’s my aesthetic, I don’t know. All I know is the pressure that is put on bloggers and the like to cultivate your brand, have a certain aesthetic or look to your posts and feed is ridiculous. Sometimes that just isn’t who we are and that’s ok!

I’m not saying that you shouldn’t at least have an idea of what you are wanting to do. What do you want to share, how you want to share, etc, but I don’t think it is essential/a requirement to have a full on aesthetic. It may work for some, it may be beneficial for some, hell for a full business I would agree that it is essential.

But for me?

It’s constricting. It ties me down too much. Because like I said, I’m just me. I don’t follow just one path, and don’t stick to just one thing. I like to explore. I like to change things up fairly regularly. Talk about different things at different times. I like to live in the moment. The ONLY thing that I’ve come to realize stays the same as time passes is that everything I approach, I approach with a smile or a positive outlook, I bounce between being totally goofy/silly and serious, I love my tea and books, and I live honestly.

So, what am I trying to say here? I’m not totally sure, but I’ve just been doing some thinking about how I want to build this blog/brand. How I want to continue to move forward and grow the little community that we are cultivating. My little corner here is starting to grow, to shift and change and I want it to continue to do that in a way that works.

So, while you may not see a certain aesthetic, or a certain look to everything, just know you’ll always be getting me.

A Ramble on: Confidence

Ever see those people who seemingly just don’t care what people think? Who go about life so self assured and comfortable with who they are? Wonder what they were doing to get to that point?

They weren’t always that way. 

Confidence is something that is gained as you grow into yourself. And as you face new experiences, new life moments, new risks you grow more confident in yourself. And better yet, those people that you think are just so self confident, still have moments of insecurity. You can also be confident in some areas of your life, and not so confident in other areas. You can be solid in yourself, but maybe a new change has happened to cause that confidence to waver.

Sometimes it just takes some time to get to (or get back to) that moment of “I know who I am, I know what I believe, and who cares what others think of me”. Because with confidence comes a freeing moment of not caring. Of letting go of what others think of you. Of saying, who gives a damn.

For me, I started to feel really good about myself just after High School (aka just as I fully hit my stride in recovery). I thought I knew what I wanted in life, how I was going to achieve what I wanted, and who I was. I met my husband, and things really started to click in place even more. Then we had our first boy. While something in me clicked when I became a mother, my confidence in myself was still a little shaken. My confidence in my ability to do everything that I wanted to do. To be a good wife, a good mom, a good person. To manage all the things. 

Then, I hit my stride again and became confident as a new mom. I got everything down and my confidence was on the upswing and we had our second boy. Instead of my confidence wavering, I knew. I believe in myself. I was confident in myself, my choices, in every aspect relating to being myself. 

Something to remember: Even when you have that self confidence, when you have that process of letting go what people think of you, there are still moments. Moments where you question yourself. Moments where you wonder, what do people think about you. 

But trust in the process. Trust in yourself. Trust in the fact that when you get through whatever has caused that wavering, that that will just be one more thing to have overcome. You’ll come out the other end more confident and having learned something new about yourself. 

I’m glad that I can say that I am finally, 100%, at that point. I have found my voice. I have found the confidence in myself, in what I believe, in what I am doing that I can say that there is not much that can tear me down. That took a lot of work to get to and you better believe I am not letting go of that any time soon. Do I still have moments of weakness, of caring what people think of me? Kind of. It’s hard for me to say that I will never question myself, but I have reached a point in my life where there are just so many other things to do and think about.

A Ramble On: Growth and Change

I’ve grown a lot in the past 5-10 years. Grown into myself, grown into my voice, grown into my niche spot of where I want to be. My confidence has soared and I’ve learned countless lessons. I am not the same person I was and I wouldn’t change that person OR this person. I had to be that person, go through life & changes to become the person that I am today. Some of those changes were hard. I stumbled a time or two, but here I am, all the better for it. 

Who I am today will not be the same person who I am in another 5-10 years. We are always changing as we go through life. As we keep learning and keep facing new challenges. That change is a good thing. I welcome the new opinions, the new goals and desires, the new conversations that I am experiencing. While the core of who I am has stayed mostly the same, my opinions, my outlook, my desires in life, and the way I see people and the world has changed. In fact, I am only just now finding my real voice and figuring out how I want to use it. 

As I continue to grow as a person, I don’t want to stay “stuck” in my same ways or mindset. I want to learn from every new experience and situation. I want to seek out new opinions, one’s that may be different from my own and have new experiences across the board. I may know who I am, but that doesn’t mean that there won’t be changes throughout my life. 

I don’t want to remain stagnant. 

I encourage you to do the same. You are always growing and changing; Experiencing life, turning into someone new. You are turning into the person that you are meant to be. Welcome that change and those new experiences. Seek them out. Get out. Out of yourself, out of your comfort zone. Have a new experience, talk to someone who had a different life than your own, who has different opinions than your own. Try to understand and see things through their lenses. 

Keep an open heart and an open mind. Don’t be stagnant. Grow. Learn. Change. Love every minute of it, even when it’s hard.