Mid Week Meltdowns

Almost every week, like clockwork,  we have one day that is just all around rough.  A day where it just seems like both boys spend the day in tears, fighting, or just overall in a yuck mood. It has become such a part of our life, that I have coined the term “Mid Week Meltdown” to put a name on that day. Mid Week came from the fact that it is typically on a Wednesday. The exact middle of the week and both boys just go off to another world. Mid Week Meltdown days typically look something like this:

Now, we don’t experience this every single week, but it does occur quite frequently. While I don’t have a perfect way of dealing with these days, I have honed down just a couple of tips to keep myself sane, and then in turn help me help the boys out. This definitely isn’t perfect or even the best answer, but I have found that on days where nothing seems to be working, these are the things that I try to keep in mind on these days.

The first thing I try to remember is that it is just a phase/day/season. It will not stay forever. These rough days (or even full patches) are just that. They will come to an end, and both myself and our children will come through them with new tools. No matter how long the time may seem, it will resolve (or it’ll be bedtime haha).

The second thing I try to keep in mind is that my oldest is only two years old. He doesn’t possess the full vocabulary and knowledge to express everything that he is feeling/going through. Hell sometimes he can’t even truly express what he actually wants. Their brains are developing and while we can (and do) teach him, there are times when he just isn’t able to communicate what exactly it is that he needs in that moment.

What I have found in dealing with this is that alone time can be crucial. Hear me out with this one as it is an important lesson to learn, even with newborns. When the point comes (and it will come) that quite honestly NOTHING seems to be working. No tool in your toolbox is helping yourself or your kid and both of you are reaching the end of your rope, separation is key. Honestly I find that putting our oldest in his room- separating him from not only whatever it is that is causing the frustration and from me (who at this point is dwindling and holding on by a single piece of hair) solves a lot of the issue. We both have a chance to cool down, me in the quiet, him in the sanctuary of his own space, and just a few minutes later we re unite and are actually able to talk (and hug) and all is right again.

I don’t treat this as a time out. He has had time outs before and with those his toys are picked up off the floor in his room and he has a set period of time. This is more of a comfort time. Where he just needs the sanctuary of his own space where he can just take a moment to collect himself. We all need this time, even as adults.

Now, heading to rooms and walking away is not the first choice. It is not something I do right off the bat. I usually try and work with our oldest and see if we can work together to figure out whatever is causing the problem. However there are times where the only thing that will really work is him going into his room and take a little break. When these times come, I am more than happy to let him go into his room, his sanctuary, and take a moment to himself. 90% of the time he takes a couple of minutes, calms down, and it’s as if nothing ever happened. We have some squeezes, a kiss and off we go to play.

Have you experienced a meltdown? What are your tips?

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A Not So Noteworthy Revelation | A Weekly Recap

I was thinking and thinking about what to write about today in this little recap. A lot has happened this week, but it was more of random bits and not really a huge post worthy situation. Little things here and there- Colton finally loosened the “sticking” of his door enough to open it without us, Andrew continued on his quest to conquer the entire house, me hitting my eye on the corner of our nightstand- but nothing that I really felt truly noteworthy. Then, in the course of my weekend, I realized something really important this past weekend and while it didn’t come as a huge surprise, it definitely solidified my thoughts in this stage of our lives.

Over this past weekend I decided to do something special for my business that would require my full attention for a whole weekend. Even though I would still be at home, my husband would be taking over all of the child care and just overall weekend chores. I’ve done a whole weekend once before at the end of September for a craft show, but for that weekend I actually left the house and was physically away during the day.

I think that it is so so important that everyone have some self care and take a little time to treat themselves, away from family, spouses, whomever. This self care can take different shape for different people and will be different lengths of time for different people. For me, typically, I’ll take a couple hours every couple weeks to go get pampered or go to the bookstore. This past weekend though, I decided to take a whole weekend and stay home, be by myself, and just read. *There is more to this, but I am shortening it for the point of this post.*

Honestly- I don’t think I will be doing it again at all in the near future. I’m just not in a space or time in my life that I really want to spend time without my children. I always knew that I wouldn’t be someone to be actively taking time away from my kids or traveling without them, but this weekend just continued to solidify that for me. Taking a couple hours of time away from them or having a date night out with my husband is one thing, but I do not want to actively choose to do things separately from them or spend a whole weekend without them.

It is quite simply not for me. If it works for someone else or is important to someone else that is completely fine, it’s just not for me. The whole weekend I felt like something was missing. Not that I was missing any big moments or anything super special, but not being able to just be doing the everyday things with them – I felt like something was missing.

My children definitely had their moments as well where they just wanted mommy and while I would take some time to be with them, it definitely wasn’t what was normal. I know that this is good for them and they had a good time with their dad and that it is good on all counts to have a little time away, but a whole weekend is a long time.

I honestly would NEVER judge another mom or dad who decided to take a weekend away and I know that this opinion may change as the continue to grow older, BUT at this time in our lives I just don’t think I could do it again. I think I’ll just continue to stick with a couple of hours here and there.

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These Are The Moments…A Weekend Recap

This weekend we decided to do something fun, possibly crazy and completely new for the kids. We decided to camp out in the living room- tent and all.

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This has been something that we have been thinking about doing for a little while now (especially since we plan on going camping for real once our youngest is a little bit older). Now that our older son is at a good age and has a good sleeping routine down, we figured we could just give sleeping in a tent in the living room a shot. My husband and I have “camped out” in the living room before, maybe a little more than normal, but we don’t mind spending a night in our living room. This whole “adventure” just became a really fun thing to try and do and it turned out to be a big hit! Seeing the huge smile light up his whole face made the entire night perfect.

Our younger son is not quite at the age to really just stay out in the living room and get a decent sleep (plus he really likes his bed) so after he went to bed, we unpacked the tent, got it set up and ready to stay in for the evening. Tent setting up was a huge hit for our older son as he recognized it as something new and fun going on.

A big hit with us (as parents) was the fact that he ended up sleeping his normal hours of sleep. We had to shut off all of the lights in this portion of the house (our house gets really bright), but he ended up falling asleep and waking up close to the same hours that he does in his own bed.

*For space reasons, I actually ended up staying on the couch, but still enjoyed it.*

The fun didn’t end there, we left the tent up through nap time the next day so our younger son could enjoy it as well! He had fun exploring the new space and feeling the different texture of the tent and the sleeping bag.

All in all it added a fun twist to what would inevitably become “just another rainy weekend at home” (which we do actually love). With all the rain, there wasn’t much playing outside, so it was nice to bring some of the fun inside! These are the moments that I just want to remember and share.

 

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Sharing is Caring…Right?

We have encountered a new “fun” problem in our home With a new mobile, very determined 7.5 month old and a stubborn, also very determined 2 year old this issue was bound to pop up sooner or later, it was just a matter of when…and over what toy.

Enter the toy (two toys actually)…the Little People farm animals from Fisher Price and a Thomas the Train train set (which yes, I know is a potential choke hazard – Littlest didn’t actually end up playing with them). One child peacefully, blissfully playing with a toy. Second child spots said toy. All chaos ensues because a temper tantrum is perfect at 9AM and we are only just entering the realm of sharing- our oldest is only just encountering the idea of sharing his toys.

I knew this day would come. I know playtime will sometimes be such sweet blissful moments of them playing together and there will sometimes be blow ups and tantrums over who had what toy and how to play. I couldn’t predict what would set it off, I didn’t know how we would handle it or what would work for the boys. What I do know is that sharing has now become a part of playtime for the past week or so.

Most of the time a simple “No, your brother is playing with that, why don’t you play with (insert toys across the room)” seems to do the trick. If they both are super determined to play with that same toy, we have a “divy it up” system, where one boy picks one part and the other picks a different part. Example: the Little People, we split up the animals. Sometimes they fight over the barn, but typically it is just the animals. By dividing the toys, they actually end up being able to play well together.

For those times neither of those works? Well, you’ve got me there. Most of the time there is an underlying cause that is causing the temper tantrum and once we can figure that out, things are good to go. If there isn’t, then it just has to be cried out. Sometimes our children just need to cry and as much as that may be irritating to us as parents, it’s what they need and I let it happen – even if it means they go to their room and do it while I enjoy a cup of tea in the living room.

How did you handle sharing? WE are still so new to this sharing/fighting bit that we are still learning and navigating the ropes.

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Starting the Road to Change- One Daily Thing

I’m going to start doing some posts about making changes in your life and being more productive and positive in your day to day life and interactions. This is a change that I have been working on and just trying to be the “best me”. I promise you it won’t be too cheesy or self-help. I just found some of these things really worked for me and they may work for you if you are wanting to make a change or just read some positive!

“You’ll never change your life until you change something you do daily. The secret to you success is found in your daily routine.”

I’ve always realized that if you try and make a slew of changes all at once, you are bound to fail to an extent. A change or two is bound to fall through the cracks, or it gets overwhelming and they all fall to the wayside. I don’t know about you but when I am feeling like I need or want a change, I do a whole bunch at once rather than one thing at a time. Every time I do this, I fail at everything I’ve tried to change. This is a much better approach, that will lead to results.

When I had just gotten through the “newborn” stage with our Little Fox and had been able to settle up a routine with him that worked for both of us, I had a bit of a reality check. Let’s have a little story time…

I posted recently about Bad Habits as a Stay At Home Mom. I’ve done all of them at one point or another, but the one that this post is relating to is the not getting properly dressed every day. I was in sweats all day everyday and my hair was usually brushed and thrown up in a ponytail or bun. One afternoon one of our neighbors stopped by to bring us some honey as a little “Welcome” gift. I answered the door and to them I probably looked like a complete mess. I could see in their faces that they were a little surprised and as we continued to talk and they realized what all I did, I could just see them still being a little…taken aback. That’s when it hit me.

What would I think if I saw someone out and about in the same clothing that I was wearing? Albeit, I wasn’t leaving the house (I always made sure that I was dressed when I left the house), but the concept remained the same to me. I found myself realizing that my attitude and productivity were also being affected. I just felt like more of a “slob” than I should have.

So, I decided to change ONE thing at a time.

The first thing I changed was my wardrobe. I made myself put on jeans, a skirt, a dress, something other than sweatpants. I started by focusing solely on what I was wearing. I didn’t worry about hair or makeup at this time, just on clothes. I found that this way I was able to  I made sure to wait at least 2 weeks before I started to make another change. For me, 2 weeks is a good amount of time for a new habit is formed and I find that after a full month, if I go back to something different or pre habit it is “odd” to me.

My biggest take away would be to start with something small and easy every day. It is true that changing ONE thing in your daily routine will lead to more changes and eventually lead you to change your life. Choose something that you find is really taking away from your outlook, your productivity or that you want to change in your life. For me, it was my clothing, for you it may be getting up before your kids or husband, or doing the dishes before bed. Whatever it is, make sure that it is something manageable and something that you can commit to. Don’t try and change your everyday clothing, getting up earlier, and breakfast routine all at the same time. It will only lead to you either feeling overwhelmed or one of those tasks falling to the wayside.

Once you’ve got one task set up and you have done it every day for a few weeks, implement another small change. Once I was getting dressed properly everyday, I started making a full breakfast in the mornings. More followed and I found that not only did I feel better about myself, but my productivity really started to increase. Things around our house started getting done and not only am I happier, but I’ve noticed a huge change in our family dynamic.

Once you’ve got a solid foundation throughout your day, everything changes.

MiaLeave a comment

I Had A Moment: Storytime

*Mini Confession time…this was not the post that was supposed to go up today. I had planned to do a post about a daily change, but something happened this week and I really wanted to write and share about it. It was an incredible thing and the post that was supposed to go up today will go up on Monday 🙂

Ya’ll, I had my moment. That moment that everything just falls into place and something gently nudges you and reminds you- everything is going to be alright. Everything is exactly as it should be. You were given the life you were meant (and strong enough) to live.

Let me go backwards. This week has just been a tough week. We’ve all been there. This past week I was questioning a lot; everything from what to make for dinner during my meal planning to whether I would really be able to handle two children. I let the best get to me and started to wonder if I was truly capable to be all that I wanted to be and all that I was setting up for myself.

It’s not easy at times to manage it all. I try not to harp on about how busy I am because I know that there are those that are even busier, but I have quite a bit going on as it is. From running my own business, to working part time, to being a wife and mom- it adds up quickly. Then realizing that you’ve also got to squeeze some time in there for yourself while holding everything else together. It almost sent me on a tailspin this week and it sure put a little edge on how I handled myself.

This led me to wonder if I could not only handle two children, but if I could or would want to have more children after our little Bear is born. Albeit we have plenty of time to make that decision and things change all the time, but I’ll be honest- I did quite a bit of self reflection throughout the week. I always thought we would have 3 or 4 children, but part of my week was wondering if I couldn’t handle one or two and everything else, how would I do with more?

Then, I just had a moment. I had just finished my daily cleaning and decided instead of turning on the television, I would plug in some music, get my little Fox out of his crib and we would have some sort of creative time. Our son is a constantly moving child and it is very rare that he will just sit and chill for longer than a few seconds – maybe a minute if you’re really lucky. He just loves to be moving and be on his feet. This afternoon was out of the norm for him. He decided that he just wanted to climb up on my lap and sit with me for a little while.

IMG_5502So, we sat in this incredibly comfy chair staring out the window watching the wind rustle the tree branches and leaves outside. The music playing around in the background and everything just clicked. I experienced the most amazing sense of calm that I hadn’t felt in a little while and in my mind I got that gentle nudge. In that moment I instantly knew that everything was perfect and I was exactly where I was supposed to be. That I was and can handle anything that is thrown at me. I can and will do it all because I am not doing more or less than what I want for myself and my family.

This is the moment that I needed and the moment that I will hold onto whenever I am experiencing those moments of self doubt or wonder.

MiaLeave a comment

Bad Habits as a “Stay at Home-r”

Good afternoon everyone and Happy Friday!! The week has come to an end and what a week it has been!! This weekend is also Easter, so a very exciting weekend! Today I am going to talk about something that I have noticed since becoming a person who is home more than not. I’ve always been a homebody, but it is different when you are truly a Stay at Home Mom/Employee/Wife/Whatever. It is very easy to fall into some bad habits when you stay at home most of the time and are busy-ing yourself with things around the house.

I work part time, own my own business and am a mom, wife, and homemaker. I blog as a hobby and enjoy it! With all of that, I found myself going down the rabbit hole with some of these habits. I’m hoping that I can help you identify these habits too.

1.) Staying in your pajamas all day. Get out of your pajamas! I don’t care if you just get out of your sleep clothes and put on sweatpants, just doing this one thing will change a lot in your mindset. It is so easy to fall down a rabbit hole when you stay in the same pajamas or clothes all day and all night long (even if you are changing your pajamas frequently it’s the mindset of being in clothes that you sleep in that makes a difference). For me, I actually put on a full outfit every morning that involves jeans, a skirt or a dress. You will automatically be more productive and feel better when you change your clothes after getting up in the morning.

2.) Eat and Drink Appropriately. Another one that I just can’t stress enough. A lot of times when we stay at home we fall into two different categories; eating everything or eating nothing. Neither one of these options is a good option. Try to space out your meals and/or snacking and make sure that if nothing else- you get a good breakfast to start your day off. I find that when I eat a good healthy breakfast in the morning, I snack less throughout the day. Another big thing to make sure you are doing is hydrating. Drinking plenty of water is a big thing and will also help motivate you to be healthier and make healthier choices throughout the day.

3.) Staying in the House Too Much. It is really easy to just stay in the house and stay where you are comfortable. It is even easy to say, I’ve got too much going on to fit in time to run out without it being errands or necessary. It is essential to leave the house a couple of times a week just to change your environment and scenery. I will be the first to admit that I don’t do this very well. I find that even taking a walk through the park and out in the neighborhood halfway through the week works wonders for our attitudes and our outlook. In our home we try to take a walk halfway through the week or run out to a store or do something and then our weekends tend to be filled with seeing new sights and running errands. It breaks up the monotony of the week and helps it you to not feel like you are stuck in Groundhog Day.

These are the three biggest things that I have discovered, although keep an eye out because I’ll be talking more and more about some other habits to get into and how to break some of the bad habits that we may have! What bad habits have you noticed if stay at home?

MiaLeave a comment

My Evening Routine

Good afternoon everyone and Happy Monday! I hope that this week is getting off to a great start for you! It’s been fantastic here in our home as my nearest and dearest friend is in town visiting for a couple of days. It’s already been a whirlwind of a couple days and I can’t wait to see how the next couple days go!

Today I’m excited to share a little glimpse into my evening routine. You can find my morning routine HERE and while I get a lot done in the mornings and have some “me” time, I feel like my evenings are where the real relaxation is. It’s a great time for us to spend together as a family and when we get to just enjoy the coziness that is our home.

I work from home and then once I’m done with work, I typically do my daily chores around the house. I consider my day “over” around 4:00-4:30pm. At this time our little man is typically waking up from his nap, so I’ll get him out of the crib and we will enjoy a little bit of time together in the living room. I’ll grab his leftover milk out of the fridge and we just relax for about 30-45 minutes with a little TV or playing on the floor.

Around 5:15-5:30pm I start on dinner. I make home made dinners every night, except for a Friday or Saturday night, when we either do something easy or order in for our date night. Because I am making dinner almost completely (and completely in some cases) from scratch it can take upwards of an hour to cook. I enjoy cooking and typically during this time, my husband will arrive home from work. I try to clean as I go, rinsing out dishes and doing what needs to be done.

Dinner time is typically around 6:30pm in our home and we like to sit around the table and just chat about our days. This is our time to catch up with each other and just chat. After dinner, I’ll get the kitchen and dining room cleaned up and my husband will either play with our little man in the living room or head down and do homework. One way or the other we will all end up on the floor in the living room playing until it is little man’s bed time.

We start getting little man ready for bed at around 8:30pm and my husband actually handles bed time for the most part. While he is getting little man ready for bed, I am taking my make up off and washing my face. I occasionally change into my pajamas at this time, but more than likely not. Once little man is in bed, we either catch up on some television or read in our living room until we are ready to go to bed. This is the time that we get to just relax and spend a little one on one time with each other, without little man.

So that is what our evening looks like! What is your evening routine like?

MiaLeave a comment

Looking Back: 2nd Trimester!

Happy Happy Friday!! I thought I would do a short little update on how my second trimester went in this second pregnancy. I didn’t really do a first trimester post, but I did do a first pregnancy vs second pregnancy post that touched on some of what I went through. This isn’t going to be a very long post because for the most part, my pregnancy has been pretty standard, as it was with my first. Most things have just been fairly straight forward just pregnancy in general. There have been some good things and some not so good things, so we will start with the not so good and work our way through to the good!

The biggest thing that I noticed towards the end of this second trimester is just how sore my body would get faster. So, with sweet little man, my body didn’t really have that tiring feeling and the soreness until 32+ weeks. This time around my body definitely gets sore and just feels that baby a lot faster. I don’t think it helps that I am carting around my 14 month old either and going around keeping up with him.

I’ve also noticed that I have been getting heartburn more frequently. I actually don’t know if I should truly include this one as it isn’t bad and happens very rarely, but it has happened a few times now of recent. It’s not horrendous and is typically at bedtime. Even with getting the heartburn, I don’t limit certain foods and won’t unless it becomes a major problem.

Those are the two major negatives that I’ve really noticed change in my second trimester. As for the good things…

Hello, nesting!! I am super excited about this one, I’m not going to lie. We were moving while I was hitting the “nesting” point with little man, so I had a bunch of that pent up energy that I couldn’t expend doing that. By the time we got settled into our home, I was so beyond pregnant that I couldn’t give a crap less about nesting. This time I am in full mode! I’ve always been a neat and organized person, but I have gone beyond. I have pretty much taken over every household chore (maybe that could be leading to the tiredness lol) and I’ve been in full decoration mode. I have been loving it! I am also trying to get it into a routine so it sticks around even after baby!

Another thing has been cravings. I haven’t actually had too many cravings this pregnancy and when I thought I would really start to get them, they’ve been pretty kept at bay. My biggest thing has been fruit smoothies and those can be made in a way that is still healthy (although that may not be…is not happening).  Other than that, I’ve just been loving the carbs and occasionally sugar. I’ve been trying to stay away from soda’s and when I get the urge to have one, I try to pick up a fizzy water instead of a soda.

So that pretty much wraps up my second trimester! Here’s to hoping the third goes just as smoothly!

MiaLeave a comment

I Hit a Wall…

I feel like it is an age old situation: Dispense good advice, don’t take a word of it yourself. This past week has been so hectic and at times just felt discombobulated. Side note- I’m super proud of that word choice 🙂 I’m very much a organized and have become a routine based person and this past week has just been crazy where that is concerned.

I feel like I say a lot that I am a routine based person. I can do spontaneous and I can have my days/weeks where it is off, but on the whole I love the way that I have my days and weeks planned out and I have found that it works really well for our family. This past week has pushed the “spontaneous” side of me a little too far and by the end of the week, I had firmly hit that wall of DONE.

We had a couple of appointments this week, which normally wouldn’t be so bad, except this week I had anticipated one appointment that was 30 minutes away. I had planned for just that one appointment and had figured that I could get everything else done around that. Then, it turned into two appointments on two different days both 30 minutes away. I also had a couple other errands to get done while we were out that added to the time.

My part time job picked up quite a bit in terms of being busy and having A LOT to do, so that was a factor. It’s tough when you feel like you are accomplishing quite a bit while working, but when you look at the numbers, nothing has changed. You clear out x amount of tasks to have y amount just added back to the mix. So, I know that that played a lot into my feeling of busyness and discombobulation.

Our sweet little man has been teething this week as well. I’m not sure what teeth are coming in, but it’s been a rough one for him. Normally he has a very happy sweet temperament, but with teething he goes hot and cold between smiling and crying. He typically wants to sleep more and has no interest in eating/food. He also becomes very clingy when he is teething due to the pain. He only wants to either be held or be in my lap. This is not a bad thing until things are not getting done. I still soak up the time for the most part because these moments are starting to become few and far in between.

So add together: extra appointments, extra large work load, irritable, clingy toddler, and a snowstorm at the start of the week and you get a mom who feels like she isn’t getting anything done! Normally I have a good handle on things and can pretty much handle whatever is thrown at me, but this past week just felt like so much at once. I hit a wall and actually ended up doing as little as possible on Saturday. We did a simple breakfast, leftovers for lunch, and ordered in for dinner. I did a little work, but overall just tried to relax and enjoy my time with my toddler.

It was exactly what I needed after the week felt like it was falling apart!

MiaLeave a comment