*Mini Confession time…this was not the post that was supposed to go up today. I had planned to do a post about a daily change, but something happened this week and I really wanted to write and share about it. It was an incredible thing and the post that was supposed to go up today will go up on Monday 🙂
Ya’ll, I had my moment. That moment that everything just falls into place and something gently nudges you and reminds you- everything is going to be alright. Everything is exactly as it should be. You were given the life you were meant (and strong enough) to live.
Let me go backwards. This week has just been a tough week. We’ve all been there. This past week I was questioning a lot; everything from what to make for dinner during my meal planning to whether I would really be able to handle two children. I let the best get to me and started to wonder if I was truly capable to be all that I wanted to be and all that I was setting up for myself.
It’s not easy at times to manage it all. I try not to harp on about how busy I am because I know that there are those that are even busier, but I have quite a bit going on as it is. From running my own business, to working part time, to being a wife and mom- it adds up quickly. Then realizing that you’ve also got to squeeze some time in there for yourself while holding everything else together. It almost sent me on a tailspin this week and it sure put a little edge on how I handled myself.
This led me to wonder if I could not only handle two children, but if I could or would want to have more children after our little Bear is born. Albeit we have plenty of time to make that decision and things change all the time, but I’ll be honest- I did quite a bit of self reflection throughout the week. I always thought we would have 3 or 4 children, but part of my week was wondering if I couldn’t handle one or two and everything else, how would I do with more?
Then, I just had a moment. I had just finished my daily cleaning and decided instead of turning on the television, I would plug in some music, get my little Fox out of his crib and we would have some sort of creative time. Our son is a constantly moving child and it is very rare that he will just sit and chill for longer than a few seconds – maybe a minute if you’re really lucky. He just loves to be moving and be on his feet. This afternoon was out of the norm for him. He decided that he just wanted to climb up on my lap and sit with me for a little while.
So, we sat in this incredibly comfy chair staring out the window watching the wind rustle the tree branches and leaves outside. The music playing around in the background and everything just clicked. I experienced the most amazing sense of calm that I hadn’t felt in a little while and in my mind I got that gentle nudge. In that moment I instantly knew that everything was perfect and I was exactly where I was supposed to be. That I was and can handle anything that is thrown at me. I can and will do it all because I am not doing more or less than what I want for myself and my family.
This is the moment that I needed and the moment that I will hold onto whenever I am experiencing those moments of self doubt or wonder.