Having a Ball – These Are The Moments

Every once in a while it is vital to take a step back, step away from the hum drum and routine of life and do something special. For marriage it is so important to take some time to just be a spouse for a little while, instead of a parent and a spouse. We can get so sucked into the routine of every day and almost just going through the paces of life that we forget or end up neglecting some aspects of that life. 

This past week was so insane between all of our schedules and what was going on, that by the end of it, I definitely needed a good amount one on one time with my husband. Some time to take my mom hat off and just be a wife. Luckily we got to have a little bit of a formal date night as we attended a ball! This gave us the perfect chance to get all gussied up (something we rarely actually do) and have a little alone time! We sent the boys to our friends (and neighbors!), so we even got that parenting break. 

I realized that it had actually been so long since we had any sort of real date night. Our normal little weekly date nights that I’ve talked about had fallen to the wayside with our schedules, and we really just needed some time to each other. To be able to connect, to talk without our 2 year old interrupting, to just be husband and wife for a little bit. 

There is something so special about that bond between a husband and wife. It is always there and always present, but still needs to be nurtured. A garden can’t bloom without being watered regularly (how many times have you heard something similar in regards to marriage lol) and it was time that our garden got a little more water. 

I have to say, being able to come home after the ball, lay on the couch and not have to worry about a baby crying, our toddler waking up early, or realistically anything other than just laying on that couch with my husband was pretty fantastic. I also have to say, after the week that we have both had, being able to connect like that, was so special and so important. 

When we woke up on Saturday morning (absolutely exhausted by the way), I knew that we had gotten exactly what we needed. Yes, I woke up with an immediate desire to see our children, but I also woke up in a comfort state. The one that is a lazy morning, snuggled up with the person that I love most in the world. It has made all the difference in the world, not just for me as a wife, but me as a person and me as a mom. 

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Surprise…Time to be Vulnerable

I contemplated whether this was even going to be a post that I would share. I was shaky just typing this. So much so, that it wasn’t even on my radar, scheduled in my line up or anything. It was half written on my desktop just staring at me (or as much as a lifeless document in a lifeless computer can do so). You see, this is something that I’ve spoken to some people about or some people may have inferred this just from knowing me, but I don’t really speak on it publicly, so I would say 90% of the people who know me don’t know this about me.

I am incredibly good at hiding this part of me (after many many many years of practice now), so if you have no clue what I am about to talk about, don’t feel bad. I don’t speak about it for several reasons and honestly I don’t really know why I am now nor do I really know where/how this post will go. If you’re reading this, then well here we go.

Most of the posts that we see relating to our bodies is all about body positivity and loving ourselves just as we are- in fact I’ll be touching on these subjects this coming month as the spring and summer seasons near. I am 100% ok with the whole body positivity and body empowerment and am all about loving your body exactly as it is, BUT I feel really drawn to sharing a story about myself. I would feel fraudulent speaking in May about body image and such without sharing the whole story and I figured now was as good a time as any.

I have struggled with an Eating Disorder.

I Still do.

For me it started as a desire to control the one thing I felt I could control at a very toxic, dysfunctional, chaotic time of my life. The obsession with my body later came shortly after. At the time, I simply felt so wildly out of control in my regular day to day, that I needed something to have total control over. That became my food. It didn’t even matter what I was eating, as long as I could control when, how much, and have total say over every aspect I felt better. Some days I wouldn’t eat anything at all. Somewhere deep down I knew that it wasn’t right, but it felt so much better and that was all that mattered.

About 4 months or so in I noticed a change in my body. I had been working out here and there and controlling everything that I ate, some days not eating anything at all. The little bit of weight I had put on after stopping a rigorous athletic activity had come off and then some. That was when everything turned for the worse. I have a very light, thin frame and most people are probably reading saying: “C’mon another thin girl, you don’t put on weight, are always so small, etc”, but for me I instantly noticed when my body was slimmer, the hips shrunk down a little, my tummy firmed back up. My mind had put two and two together and that is when the obsession started to go further than simply just needing to control something in my life.

I would go up and down, going back and forth between not eating a lot to pigging out and then promptly working out like crazy. I tended to stay more on the side of either not eating or not eating anywhere near enough. Anorexia. I became a professional hider and would hide everything from everyone and would go to great lengths to appear “normal”. Family trips or vacations I would act and eat like any other person would and then “pay” for it later on after getting home. As long as I looked “normal”. This is one aspect that I still struggle with now when I am having hard days.

I was at my worst for about 2 years. It’s now 11 1/2 years from starting down that unhealthy road. I won’t get into all of the details of what works for me or how I started healing in this post because I feel like this is already a really long post as it is. What works for me may not work for anyone else. That is the nature of eating disorders. Also, what worked for me at my worst is different from what works for me now. I’m at a different point in my life so my recovery has altered with where I am at now.

While I am definitely at my healthiest now (both mentally and physically) and have been overall for a little over 7 years, I still have struggles all the time. Some days are much much worse than others, but I have an amazing support system around me (even if they don’t realize it) and I have the tools to deal with those days-which are more frequent than I truly care to admit. I know that this is going to be an ongoing journey and struggle and I am trying to be more open about it.

So that’s it. Feels weird getting to the end of this post. I’m sure this has just been all over the place. If you’ve read all the way through, thank you for reading.

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My Morning Routine: Spring 2018

I thought I would finish out this whole Spring/Morning series with a little look at what my own morning looks like. My mornings are very strategically planned out so that I get a chance to get a little “me time” along with a healthy start and outlook to my day. I find that when I get to have that extra little bit of time, I have a much better day and a clearer mindset. 

So to start off my day, I tend to wake up around 5:45-6:00am. This gives me about 2 1/2 hours before the kids are up. The first thing I do is grab a bit of water and head down for a workout. Screen Shot 2018-03-26 at 10.10.13 AMI like to start my morning off with a workout because I feel like it releases those endorphins, gets my blood and body moving, and I get one of my priorities out of the way. Typically this is about a 30 minute workout and then I’m done.

Once I finish my workout, I get a shower and get ready for the day. Some people think that it is crazy to put on jeans/regular clothes and makeup when I typically don’t leave the house. For me, it is simply a mental change. If I am wearing a full outfit and such, then I will actually get things done for the day. If I stay in sweats, I have a much less productive day. It’s just a personal choice. 

At this point it is typically around 7:30am and it is time to get breakfast. For breakfast I will have anything from cereal, to a bagel, to what I had today, which was a scrambled eggs mixture. I think this is probably one of my favorite meals to make as it satisfies everything I want in the morning- eggs, carbs, and spiciness. I also make my first cup of tea of the day. 

While I eat my breakfast I typically read whatever book that I am reading currently and I look over my to-do list and schedule for the day. I like to take this time to just enjoy my food, tea, and the peace and quiet of the house. This is my morning ritual. The ritual of making my tea, breakfast and then getting to sit down and enjoy it with my book and planner. More than anything, this is what sets my day on the right track. Everything else just helps. Once the boys are up, there is no such thing as quiet, so I like to enjoy it when I get it. 

The boys are typically up around 8:30 at that ends the little bit of quiet and relaxation I get until bedtime! I do love waking them up though because they both always wake up with a smile on their faces. The happiness just radiates and is perfect! 

Do you have any morning ritual? What does your morning look like?

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5 Tips to Keep Your Headspace Clear and Positive

A lot of times we work through our day to day hoping that we can get everything done that we need to and we do this everyday until we get to the weekend. There are always ways to be more productive and be better in our own headspace. I don’t necessarily want to focus on how we can be more productive. More so, I want to focus on how we can keep our headspace clear when life gets extra busy and then in turn, be more productive.

Today I am going to give some tips on what helps me keep my head straight and clear when I am trying to conquer those especially busy, juggle all of the things, weeks. Earlier in the year, I went through a couple of just back to back busy weeks. It just constantly seemed like I was trying to keep my head above water and just get stuff done. There were some long days and almost sleepless nights. These times happen and while sometimes all you can do is just go through it, there are a few things to just keep your headspace clear and continue through it with minimal “damage”.

Here are my tips on keeping your head up during those busy weeks that seem never-ending and especially hectic:

  1. Wake up 30-60 minutes before you have to do anything. If for no other reason than to get a little you time in. This is going to be essential to keeping your head clear. You can spend this extra time doing things you need to get done, but I would actually recommend that you take this time to treat yourself. Not only will that give you a little decompress time, but it will start your day off with a positive note, rather than just having to get up and jump right into it. I did a post all about how to wake up earlier that you can read HERE.
  2. Start the morning off with some yoga, stretching, a quick jog, some sort of physical activity to get your body moving and warmed up. Again, we are working on keeping your headspace clear. A little yoga session, jogging around the park, or some sort of exercise will not only get your body moving, but the endorphins that you’ll get from that little bit of movement will lighten your mood. It’s also just a good habit to have.
  3. Open up the blinds, windows (if warm enough), and let the natural daylight rule your roost. I’m a huge believer in sunlight/Vitamin C being such a big mood lifter. The first thing I do in the morning after I work out is to open the blinds. Once I leave our bedroom, I open all of the blinds in our house. It instantly puts me in a good mood and instantly makes me feel like I can conquer the day. Simple daylight.
  4. Write it out. Have some way to get your thoughts, your to do list, everything out of your head and onto something. Whether you have a note or app in your phone, or like me, you use a planner, getting all of those thoughts out of your head will lighten your load, allow you to break down tasks and keep your head clear to complete those tasks. You wont forget things, you’ll be able to stay more focused, and overall keep your headspace clear to complete your tasks.
  5. Be Realistic. When you’re at the height of that busy time of your life you need to be realistic about what you can actually accomplish. Do not set yourself up for failure by setting too many expectations. Look at the tasks that you have to accomplish and prioritize those tasks. If it isn’t necessarily, does it really need to be done? What exactly is necessary? Be realistic about what you can actually do in one day or one week and don’t beat yourself up if you haven’t gotten everything done.
  6. Stop yourself from mindlessly scrolling on your phone. I’m throwing in a little extra tip here because I think this one is so so important. It is unnatural how much time we spend during our day looking at technology. A lot of this is related to the work we do and can’t be helped, but what can be helped is the time that we spend watching television or mindlessly scrolling on our phones. It is so easy to just reach for your phone and next thing you know an hour or two has past and you don’t know what exactly you even did. Put the phone down and do something different. This series two purposes, it gives your eyes and brain a rest, and gets you working your brain or your body in a different direction. This has been one of the biggest changes I’ve made lately and I’ve noticed a difference in myself.

These are my top 5 tips. It’s hard when life gets hectic and you feel like there is just so much going on and you can’t see that light at the end of the tunnel. Sometimes it’s much too far away, but it is my hope that by implementing a couple small changes, you can at least keep your head clear and in turn be as productive as possible.

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Spring Days…These Are The Moments

It seems that Mother Nature must have been hearing my plea with all of the spring talk and she sure did give us some warm, sunny days! Winter still has its stronghold (hello gray sky, cold temp, and rainy day today), but we got such a beautiful glimpse of whats to come. Also, I love the gray, rainy days so I’m ok with the days like today. They make good cosy up, read and drink tea all day days. I digress. 

With the warmer temps, we took some much needed time soaking up all the sunshine and spent a good amount of our time outside. It was so refreshing to be able to just sit outside and take in everything around us. We had a photo shoot on the first day (hello perfect weather for that!), then we spent a good amount of our weekend home, wandering around the deck with bubbles, in the front yard exploring, down to the park for a nice walk, and just around the house in general. 

It was just such a breath of fresh air and I felt so much “lighter” going into this week. Its absolutely amazing what just a few days of wonderful weather can do for yourself. It frees up your soul to be able to just sit in the sun for an hour, or to watch your children discover grass for the first time. For me, someone who loves reading on a rainy day in my most comfy chair, being able to take my book outside and sit in the warmth of the sun was fantastic. I felt like the weight of winter was lifted (as I’ve been talking about for a little while now) and it sure did just raise my spirits. 

It’s nice how the smallest of things make the biggest difference. I could have had just one sunny day and felt loads better, but getting three was fantastic.

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Real Talk: Spring Outlook (Spring Cleaning Part 3)

I’ve started off April in a rush to purge, to clean, to have a fresh outlook on how the year is progressing in our life. This included purging a lot of items, doing a deep clean of our house and now that both of those items are done, it is time to look out our spaces, our mindset, our intentions for 2018 to see what we can freshen up.

I’m a big believe in always coming back to your intentions. Always revisit any goals (or *cringe* resolutions) you’ve set for the year and see how your progress is going. It is a good thing to check and see what is working and what isn’t working. Where are you thriving? Where could you use a little work? What can you tweak or re set with to continue on the path that you want for yourself this year.

As I’ve mentioned before, Spring is a great time to do just this. Not only do we all naturally start to shed away the layers of winter, but Spring almost brings the same feelings as the New Year with that fresh start, fresh outlook type of feeling.This is the time to take a step back and re evaluate how your year has started. We are still early enough into the year that a lot can be accomplished. It’s OK if you’ve looked at your intentions for the year and decided that you need to jus scrap them and start fresh. It’s also OK to say I’ve been rocking these and I want to take it up to the next level. NOW is such a great time to make these adjustments and changes.

In coming back to our intentions, I’m a big believer in setting up our spaces, setting up our day to day, to reflect what we want to accomplish and what we need in our life. Spring naturally allows us to freshen up our wardrobe and spaces by having warmer temperatures, more sunshine, and a general feeling of “freshness” in the air. We are already having to shed those thick winter layers and large fleece blankets for shorter t shirts and lighter sheets. Windows start to open more frequently (which already leads to a more positive outlook) and allows you to look at yourself and your space for another change.

Often times with Spring, we bring down the lighter blankets, put out the pastel decorations, and shorter clothes. While you are already creating a sort of change, don’t just stop with your clothes and a couple of decorations. Look at your space, whether it be your entire home, where you work, where you sleep, wherever, and really take a moment to check it out. Is this a good space for you. Are you going to be able to continue to excel or do you maybe need to change something up. This is the time to make any changes that you need to in your physical space to continue on with your year.

Re evaluation your intentions for the year and evaluating your physical space go hand in hand right now. You’ll find that you have a fresh look both in your mind and in your space to accomplish everything that you want. And if you’re finding that you are starting to struggle or plateau in your intentions, this may be the little kick in the but you need to keep going.

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The Great Clean: Spring Cleaning Part 2

On Monday we talked about the first process of spring cleaning, purging. Out with the old, the unused, the pushed aside. Before new things can come into a space and a big part of spring cleaning is the actual cleaning. This isn’t necessarily just for spring cleaning, anytime I purge any amount of items, I always like to follow it up with a thorough deep cleaning. It just really helps me set that fresh light feeling.

For me, any cleaning ALWAYS starts in my kitchen. This whole space is the hub of our home and, when combined with our Living Room, is the spot where we spend the most amount of time. If I have a clean kitchen, I feel like the world is set right. I typically like to work in a top to bottom, forward to backyard type process and for normal cleaning I go room by room. I complete all of the cleaning tasks for each room before moving on.

The biggest tip I can give when it comes to doing a deep spring cleaning is to break your work down. Determine what are all the tasks that need to be done for cleaning. Then, decide how you want to handle the tasks. Do you want to go room by room or task by task. These are fairly straight forward, room by room would be doing everything in one room before moving on, where as task by task would be doing one task in every room before moving on. Each of these have pros and cons and ultimately you have to decide what works best for you and the time that you have. If you only have a short amount of time, it may be better to narrow down just a couple of tasks that you can do in your entire home, rather than just focus on one room.

Unlike purging, where I’ll spend a few days going through everything, I like to get the deep cleaning done over two days (at the most). The biggest reason for this is due to the fact that some of the tasks needs to have time to dry (like shampooing and steaming the carpets) and little feet need to be kept out of the house. For this reason, I will be waiting to clean the carpets until we have a nice, warm day, so I can just send the boys outside for a little right before nap time. The second reason I like to move quickly through the cleaning is because there is a lot to do and the tasks that need done are not always the most fun tasks. I find that if I can just get in, do the tasks, get everything done, it’s done and then all that is left is to incorporate any new fresh items.

Are you doing any Spring Cleaning? Share any tips that you have or what works for you!

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The Great Purge: Spring Cleaning Part 1

Ah, spring cleaning- oh how I love thee… This post is going to be part of a 3 post series that I am going to be doing all about prepping, cleaning, and revitalizing your space and yourself for spring! I have to say, maybe I am weird about this, but I actually do love spring cleaning. I love the idea of purging, stripping everything down, cleaning like crazy and bringing in some small fresh elements. It does wonders not only for your mental health, but also to just help bring in the idea of resetting, refreshing, and restarting.

Over the past couple of months I have really been feeling quite cluttered in our home. Part of it is just due to the sheer amount of boxes that have accumulated in our home, but I also knew that there was just a lot of stuff that we had in our home and just weren’t using. I decided that the time was now to go through our entire home and do a purge.

IMG_0733I went through room by room and cleared out: clothes that didn’t fit or weren’t worn in the past 6-12 months, accessories that weren’t being used, items that just no longer fit with our family, as well as anything that I just didn’t feel would get used again. All of these things will be getting donated. I feel like I got rid of quite a bit (I don’t think the picture really does it justice) and already, even before the cleaning portion, I just feel a lot lighter.

A couple of things to keep in mind if you are getting ready to do “The Great Purge”:

  1. Set a time limit on yourself. A lot of times we can get such a strong desire to just purge and get rid of stuff and jump right in to all of it. This can lead to a very early burnout which then leads to only about a third of it being done. By saying I am going to go through things for this long, or this time to this time, you are able to approach it with a clear start and finish. It isn’t so open ended and it makes the whole home and idea become smaller more manageable tasks. It also helps you from getting that early burnout. I devoted about 45 minutes a day for around a week and found that this was “just” enough time to get through almost an entire space and feel good about what I cleared out. I just wasn’t able to fit more time into our schedules.
  2. Purge space by space. Only tackle what you know you can finish in the time that you have to do it. You don’t want to start a space and not be able to finish it by the end of your time limit.  This will help you keep that clear start and finish. When you look at a space, have a clear objective of what is the worst in that space. For example, I knew that the biggest task in our youngest’s room would be his closest/clothes. For the most part I knew where the items were that were being purged and how easiest to handle that. I set aside a 45 minute window where I pulled all of them out, went through to verify that they were in fact the correct clothes to purge and then packed them away for the donation run.
  3. When it comes to what to purge, it’s completely up to you. Start by determining what level of “purging” you want to do, do you want a thorough get rid of almost all of it or do you just want a light get rid of what isn’t working and then do more later on. Do you fall somewhere in between? This time I around I went for a complete overhaul. I got rid of anything and everything that was not working for our family anymore. If it wasn’t worn or used frequently in the past 6-12 months, it was going. I didn’t realize how much we had really accumulated over time, until I had started doing our purge and after the first space, I decided I was full in with a complete overhaul.

Honestly, when it comes to purging the biggest things to remember is that it is not going to be done in one setting. This will take time and work, but it will end up being so good once it has ended. I feel such a lightness now when I walk throughout our home. I find that we just had a lot of “stuff” that really wasn’t being used and just collected dust wherever it was.

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Plan With Me : April

I’ve always said that I am a paper and pen person. I may overcomplicate the process, but to be honest, my brain works better when I am able to look at things on paper. To be able to not only look at an overview of what the next bit of time looks like for me, but then to break it down into manageable actions really helps me to not feel overwhelmed when I am trying to juggle everything.

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Since we are starting “fresh” with a new quarter, a new season and a new month, I figured I would break it down and share I organize my brain with you! If that interests you, continue on!

So, for my blog and business, I like to look at things on a quarterly basis. I like to list out my goals and priorities, as well as the action steps to complete those. I do this in Moleskine Notebooks (one for business, one for blog) and have a separate sheet of paper that lives in my planner with an overall look at the four quarters in the year. I have one page dedicated to each quarter and I’ll write out (typically in pencil until about a week before the month starts) what blog posts I am thinking of for the month and where they should fall. This helps give me an overview of the entire quarter and if I have an idea of a tips blog post or have found another topic I want to touch on, I can quickly look and see where it will fall into place. I typically have 4 scheduled blog posts a month and the rest are just as they happen.

Screen Shot 2018-03-27 at 5.09.16 PMOnce I have my overview handled, I look at the first month of the quarter. I have switched planners, sort of. I am still in a Day Designer, but I am using their full on planner, rather than the weekly only. As things started to get busier, I found that I needed a little bit more space in my day to day to keep track of everything.

In the month view, I will write out everything that is planned for that month, whether it is blog posts, videos, appointments, birthdays, days off, whatever it is. This gives me a little bit more of an in depth look at what that specific month holds in our schedules. A lot of times this will change as we go through the month, but it’s good at least have a good starting point.

The final thing I do is plan out the first week of the month. I will mark down the times that I am working as time blocks and then mark in the times that blog posts or videos are going live. I also mark down any appointments that I may have. Once the time is blocked out, I will fill in a couple of the to-do boxes. I have a couple of days that are set aside for specific things for my job, or for cleaning purposes, so I will “auto-fill” those tasks in on the relevant days. The final thing I’ll do is look at my previous week, the new month, and the upcoming week to see if there are any tasks that I have not done, or things that I need to get done. This could be anything from making sure the scheduled blog posts are all uploaded and scheduled, to checking on different supplies in our home.

So, that is my April Plan With Me! I hope that you enjoyed getting a little insight into how I organize my brain to start a new month off. Let me know what you do! Are you an electronic planner type of person? A paper and pen person? Or maybe just a fly by the seat of your pants? Let me know!

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Mid Week Meltdowns

Almost every week, like clockwork,  we have one day that is just all around rough.  A day where it just seems like both boys spend the day in tears, fighting, or just overall in a yuck mood. It has become such a part of our life, that I have coined the term “Mid Week Meltdown” to put a name on that day. Mid Week came from the fact that it is typically on a Wednesday. The exact middle of the week and both boys just go off to another world. Mid Week Meltdown days typically look something like this:

Now, we don’t experience this every single week, but it does occur quite frequently. While I don’t have a perfect way of dealing with these days, I have honed down just a couple of tips to keep myself sane, and then in turn help me help the boys out. This definitely isn’t perfect or even the best answer, but I have found that on days where nothing seems to be working, these are the things that I try to keep in mind on these days.

The first thing I try to remember is that it is just a phase/day/season. It will not stay forever. These rough days (or even full patches) are just that. They will come to an end, and both myself and our children will come through them with new tools. No matter how long the time may seem, it will resolve (or it’ll be bedtime haha).

The second thing I try to keep in mind is that my oldest is only two years old. He doesn’t possess the full vocabulary and knowledge to express everything that he is feeling/going through. Hell sometimes he can’t even truly express what he actually wants. Their brains are developing and while we can (and do) teach him, there are times when he just isn’t able to communicate what exactly it is that he needs in that moment.

What I have found in dealing with this is that alone time can be crucial. Hear me out with this one as it is an important lesson to learn, even with newborns. When the point comes (and it will come) that quite honestly NOTHING seems to be working. No tool in your toolbox is helping yourself or your kid and both of you are reaching the end of your rope, separation is key. Honestly I find that putting our oldest in his room- separating him from not only whatever it is that is causing the frustration and from me (who at this point is dwindling and holding on by a single piece of hair) solves a lot of the issue. We both have a chance to cool down, me in the quiet, him in the sanctuary of his own space, and just a few minutes later we re unite and are actually able to talk (and hug) and all is right again.

I don’t treat this as a time out. He has had time outs before and with those his toys are picked up off the floor in his room and he has a set period of time. This is more of a comfort time. Where he just needs the sanctuary of his own space where he can just take a moment to collect himself. We all need this time, even as adults.

Now, heading to rooms and walking away is not the first choice. It is not something I do right off the bat. I usually try and work with our oldest and see if we can work together to figure out whatever is causing the problem. However there are times where the only thing that will really work is him going into his room and take a little break. When these times come, I am more than happy to let him go into his room, his sanctuary, and take a moment to himself. 90% of the time he takes a couple of minutes, calms down, and it’s as if nothing ever happened. We have some squeezes, a kiss and off we go to play.

Have you experienced a meltdown? What are your tips?

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