Round The Kettle Ep 15 – The Serious Conversations

I had a conversation with a friend this week talking about a couple of things that I haven’t really been able to talk about with friends before. We covered a variety of topics and it was kind of refreshing to just talk with someone else about different topics that have been circling in my head. I’ll be honest- while I haven’t been burrowing into my books (my version of burying your head in the sand), I have definitely avoided certain conversations…

You know the ones…

Politics, Religion, Current Events.

It feels like nowadays if you want to make/keep/cherish a friendship you shy away from these subjects.

Maybe that’s an exaggeration. Maybe our friendships should mean more than the things we disagree on, but I’ve seen so many relationships dissolve over these types of conversations. All out break up? Maybe a smidge dramatic. A slow backing away though? Definitely.

But you know what? I want to have these conversations. I want to hear what others think. I want to learn about others viewpoint, how they learned, what they believe. I WANT TO UNDERSTAND. I want to have these conversations without risking losing a friendship over a differing opinion.

I like to think of myself as an open minded individual. I also like to think of myself who likes to talk deep, go deep in the conversations, to talk about the big issues. When I have a conversation with someone where we disagree, I almost enjoy that more than when we agree on everything. It gives me a chance to learn, to understand something in a different light, to see what has us thinking differently. And sometimes through these conversations, my mind will shift. I may even start to see things differently myself, or see them even more in what I originally thought. Either way, these conversations are GREAT to have.

That is if the other person is willing to be open minded and ready to listen.

You could argue, “Mia, you aren’t choosing your friends wisely if you can’t have these types of conversations without risking friendships”. I don’t know that I necessarily agree with that. I feel like there are different types of friendships and I can have these conversations with some and not with others. That’s ok and I feel like that is pretty normal.

With all of that being said…

Do you know this feeling? Have you ever felt this way? If you have, I’m curious how you handle it? Do you have certain people that you have these conversations with? Do you get really active in the internet world having these conversations?

I’m not going to be bringing this stuff to the blog or anything like that. You will start to see some posts geared towards things that I am passionate about, but haven’t talked a lot about (I’ve mentioned all these things at some point though). BUT I won’t be straying far from what I’ve already been doing. This is just something I’ve been thinking about this past week.

Round the Kettle Ep 14 : June Already?!

Happy June!!! How is it June already? Where has this year gone?! I feel like this year is flying by and I’m not ready to be halfway through the year. Are you? Is it flying by for you as well?

I feel like June can be a bit of a breathe of fresh air. The weather is turning warmer (except this year some folks are getting that warm weather in May- not us), the days get much longer, and we all break free of our Winter and Spring Showers hibernation. The days are longer, the clothes are shorter, and the smiles are bigger.

This year June is shaping up to be no different. We finally seem to be at the start of a warm stretch of weather (our first without AC, wish us all the luck and good vibes you can!), we are going to be having a month of only day trips after back to back months of traveling (not complaining about any of that!), and the month ends with us moving out of the hotel and into a…house!

We are in the final hotel stretch and we’ve seen the house that we will be moving into. It is a really nice option with a very large fenced in back yard and we will be arriving just in time for that hot weather, sending the boys out to play time of year. We are really looking forward to being in a home, getting all of our things, and setting up a new house. So, even though we won’t be doing any of the long weekend travelling, we will be doing a couple day trips, planning for our big July trip (more on that later), and moving! An exciting month ahead for us.

What does your June look like? Is it a homebody month or an exciting travel filled one? Let me know down below!

I’ve been spending a good chunk of the past week at my computer, planning and writing for different posts and ideas I’ve got for the upcoming months. I am trying to do some goal setting, big dream planning.

I find myself wanting to DO MORE. To expand a little bit on my little corner and to start reaching out for volunteering, for making an impact in others, for just being something for someone else. There have been certain area’s that my heart has always felt that it needed to be and I am finding that I now have the time to dedicate to that. I’m trying to figure out how to move forward and starting doing some of things that I’ve been wanting to do.

Do you volunteer? Where do you volunteer at? Do you know that feeling of wanting to do more?

And, honestly, I think that is really all I have to say for this weeks Round the Kettle. I am a little tired/burnt out from the back to back trips and then all of the writing following that up. I am looking forward to a little relaxation and rest this weekend, as well as some reading, tea drinking, and family time (as always). Hope you’re having a wonderful weekend!

Round the Kettle Ep 13: All Over the Board with Updates and Chats

Good afternoon and Happy Sunday! I’m curious…are you having a productive get all the things done Sunday or a laid back/full of adventure Sunday Fun day? I am currently writing this post on a Wednesday (no shame in my prep game) as we are out of town…or rather driving back from out of town on this Sunday. BUT, I balance back and forth between the two. I definitely appreciate a really productive, prep for the week Sunday, but there is also something to be said about spending it outside, with family, doing something absolutely crazy or fun.

Tell me below which camp you fall into, Productive Sunday or Funday Sunday…

For us, we’ve spent this past weekend exploring somewhere new, somewhere exciting, and just getting away for a little while. We will be doing the same next weekend, going somewhere new and exploring. We’ve done a lot of traveling just in the few months that we’ve been here, but things are going to start settling down a little bit more as we head into Autumn. My husbands schedule will once again start to pick up, we will be in our home/be a little more settled, and the long weekends away will go down to probably just once a month, which honestly is more than we could have even asked for!

So, the second half of May is going to be an exciting travel filled one, so to balance that out we are going to be spending June with a couple of day trips (maybe an overnight one, not sure), but mostly close to home as we will be getting our home towards the end of the month! You read that right, we are going to FINALLY be moving out of the hotel and into a house the end of June. We’ve been jumping for joy as we are beyond ready to have our own home and all of our household goods. It’s been an experience living in a one bedroom hotel room and has given me a whole new respect for families that have to live in cramped quarters on a regular basis (it’s also reminded me just how blessed we are).

I want to share one more little tidbit, food for thought type of deal, within this Round the Kettle post. This past week I worked with a photographer to get some new professional photos done for the blog/social media/etc. and we had quite the conversations while we were shooting. First off, such a fun fun session (I can’t wait to see the final photo’s – keep an eye out as they start to hit Social Media)! We just clicked on so many levels and it was nice to chat with someone that just…”got me”. If that makes sense? She was super cool and laidback and we definitely plan on getting together another time. Friends are everywhere, just waiting to be met. BUT all that aside (I’m getting off topic over here), we talked about a couple things that I want to mention, but will probably do full blog posts on another day for.

The first being the topic of being introverted vs. extroverted and how that comes across. A lot of times people are quite surprised to hear that I am very introverted because I will socialize, I will talk with others, I enjoy hanging out with friends, etc. What you don’t typically see from me is that after that, after I’ve hung out with friends or anything social/noisy/talking/etc. I have to come back home and have some quiet time to myself. I have to be able to recharge myself in my own home on my own terms. THAT is what introversion is. It is all about how you get drained and how you recharge.

This is also something that I was briefly speaking about with another mom at our little playgroup at it really applies in parenting and intimate relationships. It actually leads to quite an interesting conversation with others as well, so…

Tell me, are you introverted or extroverted?

And finally, the last thing was the idea of Self Confidence. We were talking about how we became much more confident in who we were and what the catalysts were for that. I definitely have a blog post on this coming (way beyond the little tidbit that I am going to leave here), but in the moment I just simply said, “I’ve got two kids, I don’t really have time to sit and worry about what others think of me”. While that is VERY TRUE, it is not the only reason I’ve become so much more confident over the past few years. I’ve kind of hit a point in my life where I recognize who I was, who I am, and who I want to be. I’ve realized that I’m not everyone’s “cup of tea” and I’m not going to make everyone happy. I’ve realized that that is OK. It doesn’t reflect poorly on me and you know what? Not everyone has to like me. Life isn’t a popularity contest. I’d much rather spend my time happy, in the moment with my husband and children, than worrying about what this person thinks or what that person said. Like I said, I’ll talk more on this on another post…

So, now that I’ve rambled on for approximately 874 words, I’d love to know what you’re up to on this Sunday afternoon! Leave me a comment down below 🙂

How Do We Handle The What If

You know that little voice in the back of your head? The little one that only comes out at times when you least need it. The one that offers negative opinions, snide comments and criticisms. That little voice is a right old arsehole (yep-went there) and we all have one.

So, let’s put a little scenario together. You have just made a rather big life decision. You’ve decided to…I don’t know…start a podcast or a blog (because this has to be believable/realistic, but not purchase related). You’ve written your first blog post or recorded your first podcast and have everything set to upload and publish. Everything is done it is just a matter for the day to come that everyone can read or listen to your words.

That little voice creeps in…”What if no one reads it”…”What if someone listens and doesn’t like what I have to say”…”What if they expect more from me than I can deliver”…”What if I am absolute rubbish at this”…And on and on it goes.

How do we handle that? What brings this little voice on?

Is it a lack of self confidence? A desire to please people? A fear of failure? Is it caring a little too much about what people think of us?

Is it all of the above?

I like to think that I am a fairly confident person, that while I want to help people and make them happy, I can’t and not everyone will like me. I’m ok with all of that. I like to think that I’ve overcome a lot of my fear of failure (which I can talk about separately if you’d like). Yet, I still deal with that little “What If Arsehole”. “She’s” a rude voice right in the back of my head that has me questioning myself from time to time.

How do I handle “her”? I don’t. “She” asks me questions like the above all the time. I overthink decisions, I second guess myself, and on occasion “she” has gotten the best of me. I would say 80% of the time I just try to ignore “her”. I try to push further because most of the time “she” comes out when I am on the right track. When I am getting ready to do something awesome (if I can say that), but every once in a while “she” does win. This is a time when I don’t have an answer.

I’m wondering if you have an answer or how you handle your “What If Arsehole”. Where do you think “she” comes from? How do you tackle the self doubt? Let me know in the comments below.

 

 

Tips for Working From Home

I worked from home with part time hours for a smidge over 3 years. During that time I learned quite a few things, both about myself and about creating a work/life balance. I don’t consider myself an expert in any of this, but I figured I would share some of the things that I learned over the past few years in case it could help someone else.

Working from home is a bit of a unique struggle because you want to set boundaries, a time/space for your job that is separate from your everyday life. A lot of times, when that physical space of the office is in our own home, you feel as though you are always at work. Boundaries are much more likely to get muddled or not exist at all. You may feel as though you are never not at work, or like you cannot disconnect from your job.

I learned the hard way on how to make working from home work for me and from time to time I struggled with those boundaries. But, I’ve made it through and I’m hopeful that if want to work from home, you can too!

Tip #1: Create a space that is able to be separate from your home for your office.This may seem like common sense, an office or a desk set up in a quiet corner of your home, but this is probably one of the hardest tips to stick with. When you have that space, you ONLY do work in THAT SPACE. You do not do work in other area’s of your house and you do not bring “non work” into that space. This space would also preferably have a door or some way of sectioning it off from the rest of your house. Think of it this way, when you work in an office, the best part of the day is being able to leave the office and leave your work behind for the evening, right? So, why would you not want to create that same illusion at home. In our previous home, our office was downstairs and was cordoned off by both stairs and a baby fence (as there were times when I would have to contain a child while working).

A note on creating your office space: You do want to make sure the space is welcoming and set up the way you want and need. Make it a nice space that you want to work, not somewhere where you feel like you dread going to. Natural light is a big help, as is small pieces of home décor.

Tip #2: Have specific times set aside as work time.Now, this tip only matters if you have flexible hours, but I wanted to touch on it as I found this was another thing that really helped me and is a hard one to stick with. It’s the same concept as the separate space in your home. You need to have certain hours that are set aside each day (they don’t necessarily have to be the same hours everyday, but should be the same week to week, e.g. M/W/F 8-12, T/TH 1-5) and those are the only hours that you do work during. Now obviously if there is an emergency or something that comes up that changes (as it would in a normal work environment), but the important fact is that you have the stability of hours. You work during those hours and when it is not those hours, you are not working. This is good not only for yourself, but for your coworkers as well (if applicable).

Tip #3: Get Dressed.If you’ve been around here long enough, you know all about this tip. This is a tip that I just apply to life in general, but is even more important when you are working from home. You are not going to feel the same motivation and high productivity level while working if you are in your pajamas or sweat pants that you will if you take a little bit of time in the morning to put on jeans or slacks and a nice top. There is just some sort of way that we all feel when we are in sweatpants that we don’t feel when we are in actual clothes. If you want, you can change into sweats after you’ve finished working to “signal” to yourself that the workday is over and you can relax.

Tip #4: Take breaks, eat your lunch somewhere else, get outside. This is an important one because a lot of times when we work from home, we don’t take the breaks that we need to. We need to get away from the desk, away from the computer (or phone) and out into the world. Realistically, this tip applies if you are working in an office as well. Do not take lunch at your desk, do not skip out on breaks, make sure you are stretching your body out throughout the day. If you don’t, you’ll either feel much more tired come the end of the day or you will be a little bit more short tempered in stressful situations. Take a step away, that is what lunch and breaks are meant for.

Tip #5: Take time off.Another one that feels like a no brainer, but it so hard to do. Here’s the thing, when we are working from home it is actually much harder to take time off than you would think. You’re office is right down the hall and since you are in the comfort of your own home, it is easier to work through a sickness or through a time where maybe you shouldn’t be working. It can turn into a problem and while I wouldn’t say take time off all the time, make sure that you are taking vacation time and if you are sick, take a sick day if you can. Don’t over work yourself simply because you work from home and it’s “easy” with no commute.

Those are my top tips for working from home. If you hadn’t noticed the theme, it is mostly to treat working from home much the same way that you would treat working in an office. You need to have a set space, set hours, and the ability to take breaks. The hardest thing about working from home is that instead of going to and from an office, having a separate space from your home, you are simply walking down the hall (or down some stairs) and there you are. It is so much harder to feel disconnected from work when it is just right there. It can be done though, it just takes patience and discipline as you figure out what works for you.  I hope that these tips will help you if you work from home!

Round the Kettle Ep. 11- Just a set of Homebodies and No “Home”

Happy Sunday! How are you? How have the past couple weeks been treating you?

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We’ve been a go, go, going it seems like and while I love to have a home/sweats/movie/books day once a week. I don’t think we actually have in a couple weeks. I think it is really important both for us as parents, as well as for our children that we have downtime. I’m not talking about just naptime/quiet time (because Colton has started napping less and less), but I’m talking a full day of not running anywhere, not having a schedule, just relaxing and going with the day. One where we can go for a walk if we really want to and the weather allows it, but it isn’t something that we shoot for (a walk being the only reason we would leave). I LOVE this idea and it really helps us decompress and relax and makes all the rest of the traveling and go go going not so…hectic feeling. We are homebodies at heart and having that day (and really the evenings) to balance out the rest is perfect.

That is, until I remember that we are still in a hotel, with a limited number of toys and activities and I wind up spending the whole morning telling the kids that they can’t wrestle, run around, climb on everything, or scream. Then our little decompress day looks a whole lot different. Haha. My peaceful morning goes out the window.

It’s not really so bad as all that, but it is definitely not as peaceful as I would hope. These types of days will look much different when we have a house, all the toys and space for the boys, and everything else that we would like.

Of course, everything will look different when we have a house.

Now, I want to make something very clear- I am not complaining per se. We are very blessed to be able to be in the situation that we are in (one I know many many would dream of) and we are loving our time here in Germany. It has been a true dream come true and some days still very much feels like a dream and not reality. BUT hotel living is hard. It’s hard with two very active toddlers who need the down/home time just as much as we do. It’s hard when you want to decorate and have your own sense of “home”, but can’t. It’s hard when you see pieces of home décor that you would love to have, but you don’t have a home for them yet. It’s hard to not have everything that you would like to for your kids and they are bored. It’s hard when you want to cook a full dinner, but aren’t able to.

All of that sounded a whole lot like complaining. And maybe in a way I am, but it’s been almost 2 months and it’s wearing a little thin. I feel like I’ve had such a good head and attitude about this. There isn’t a whole lot that I can do to change this situation and I’ve always said that if you cannot change the situation (which on occasion does happen), then you have to change your attitude about the situation. I’ve kept that positive attitude up, and to clarify- I still am incredible happy, blessed and positive, but some days I break. And in an effort to be transparent and honest, I am sharing that with you. I’ve always said that life is not sunshine and daisies (because it isn’t), but people are scared to show that not sunshine side. Here I am, showing you our not so sunshine side, all first world problems and all.

Do you know this feeling? Have you dealt with an extended hotel or small living space with children? Even without children? Share in the comments below! Or are you struggling with something now? Something that you want to vent about? Share! Nothing is too trivial.

That was a bit of a downer of a post, so let’s do a high note for the ending? We had a little local bazaar here over the past couple of days. There were a lot of vendors selling a variety of goods, cheese & meats, alcohol, rugs, wood work, and my new personal addiction…polish pottery. Now I haven’t been much in the world of polish pottery, this was actually my first “exposure” to it and let me just say, I’m in love. There was so much to choose from, so many beautiful designs to see and I wanted to buy ALL OF IT. I kid you not, there was one design, a new one they just released, that was only available in a couple of pieces. I picked up what I could of it and thankfully they didn’t have anymore options because I would have bought the lot in that design. Overall, the bazaar was a really awesome event.

Have you ever owned/seen/purchased and Polish Pottery? What do you think of it?

Bazaars, Open Air Markets, Farmers Markets, etc., are my favorite ways to shop. I find that you can find some of the most unique items by shopping a) locally, and b) through an event that has vendors from all over. Luckily it seems like the Germans (and really Europeans) really understand this concept because this stuff happens ALL THE TIME.

I’m in heaven here, between the landscape, the history, the people, the food, the shopping, it’s all been wonderful. I may struggle from time to time over our hotel/housing situation, but that is a short term struggle. We are hopeful that we will get a house soon and then the only negative (at this point) will be no more.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Friday Morning Cups – A Two for One

IMG_9865.jpgI’ve been talking and listening to a lot of people lately (both in person and online) and I’ve been hearing two different things: 1) Complaints about location, living in a hotel, how small the area is, how spread apart everything is, etc. and 2) How positive I am about the whole situation, that they don’t see that a lot and how great that is. 

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Here’s the deal. Life in general is what you make of it. Situations arise, things happen, life doesn’t go according to all of your dreams, there will always be something. It happens to all of us. The difference from one person to another is what you make of it. How you handle the highs and lows. What outlook you choose to adopt. 

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Does living in a hotel apartment suck at times? Sure! Of course it does. Does it suck for my kids to be confined to one room at times? Yes. (We also have a pretty good set up, I’ve seen a couple of the other apartments in our building- doesn’t change the overall sentiment). 

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I could name all the things, but honestly it doesn’t matter. What matters is how I CHOOSE to handle this new situation. I am CHOOSING to look at the bright side. I am CHOOSING to look at the wealth of options and good things that we do have. There is SO MUCH good right now, that while the bad can be bad at times it doesn’t affect our overall positive outlook. ▫️

I fully believe that THIS, this seemingly mundane thing, has made all the difference in our whole move and transition. 

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What is your outlook? I challenge you to find the good. Focus on the good. Smile. 

We’ve all got one of those pictures. The one that just “didn’t work out”. The first picture is one of those pictures. I had Andrew who just wanted to be held, Colton who wanted to run wild and free, and me who just wanted one picture with both boys. The funny thing is I almost prefer this picture to our “perfect” picture (swipe to see the perfect one). This first picture shows the particular moment in time. The imperfections that makes our family perfect. Life is not perfect, our family is not perfect, but we are us and both of these pictures represent us. I look at this picture and I laugh. I see my children loved and happy just having a fun time. I laugh at my own “over it” look (and I do very much remember that feeling). Those memories are more important than having that perfect picture. Reality is always better than perfection.