Real Talk: So, Why Do We Care?

I’ve spoken about confidence and how we grow into ourselves and in turn our self confidence grows. During that (I called it) ramble (which you can read HERE and HERE), I mentioned that with confidence, you hit a point that you just stop caring about what others think of you. Because honestly, while the two may not always be linked, that is a big part of confidence. Being so confident in yourself that you do not care what others think of you. 

So, why do we care? Why is what other people think of us so important to us? You can’t please everyone and not everyone is going to like you. Even those who do like you, may not like some of the things that you do/say. Why do we put so much stock in that?

When you think about what others think of you, you give them power over you. You allow them to control how you live your life. You allow them to change what you say or believe. You allow someone (often times a complete stranger) to personally affect you to your core. 

Why would you want to let someone else have control over your life? You are giving someone else power over you. Power to influence you, to change you in a way that you may not want. We all grow and change, but the important thing is that we are doing that because WE want to, not because someone made a mean comment. 

This may sound dramatic, but even something as simple as changing your outfit because you think someone may say something about it. Allowing what others MIGHT think about you, change anything about you is failing yourself. It is selling yourself short.

Similar to this is not speaking up when you want to say something, or saying things that you may not believe to please others. 

If you are having second thoughts about something, it is important to determine why you are having second thoughts. Are you having those thoughts because you are worried about what others will say? Are you having them because you yourself are not sure? This difference is key because it lets you know whether you are making the change because you want it, not because of what some other random person may say.

We can be so impressionable at times, especially in areas where we may feel even more vulnerable, and it is important to remember who you are. 

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Day Trip : Colonial Williamsburg

On Saturday we took a day trip down to Colonial Williamsburg. This step back into history has been a “must do” on my list since we moved here and we just finally got around to doing it. It’s about a 2 1/2 hour drive from us and is the perfect distance for spending a day. 

The whole draw in for Colonial Williamsburg is that it is supposed to feel like you are stepping back into time, back to when the colonies were breaking free from English rule, and it is supposed to reflect what every day life was like for the colonists. It features character actors, both as guides and just portraying different folks that would live in town. There were stations where visitors could get involved, such as making brick and clothes, but also areas where you could just observe. 

Our day started at the Governors Palace, which is the main home and office for the Royal Governor. This was in use prior to the collapse of Royal Authority in Virginia, as the colonies broke away from England. We toured the main hall and two sitting rooms downstairs, as well as a bed & dressing room upstairs (not pictured). A tour guide, dressed in time period clothing (as was everyone) talked us through the last family that lived in the home as well as what a visitor to the home could expect. 

Our next stop was walking through the different Palace Grounds, with a beautiful little hideaway and a maze, and along the Palace Green, which had homes, kitchens, and a church.

While we were walking through the palace green, we got to watch the carriage and ox wagon rides go through the palace green, and then the rest of the town. Such a neat and fun experience to add to the idea of stepping back into history!

Once you finish with the “main” Palace walk, you come upon the little town itself. The main portion of town is divided up on one “main” street, Duke of Gloucester Street, and a side street, Nicholson Street. One Duke of Gloucester there were shops, taverns, and the Market Square. The shops and taverns all had character actors both outside to guide you in, and inside to walk you through whatever you were seeing, or to help you purchase any gifts you were interested in. 

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We stopped at the Market Square to see the “market” they were holding that day, to take a look at the Public Armory and to see how they would signal to everyone for lunchtime. Spoiler: the lunch time signal was a canon, which concerned both boys immensely. We also ended the day in the same area to see a demonstration of combat tactics of the time (hubs is a military history buff). 

We stopped for a quick lunch, watched the Fife and Drum March, and headed over to the children’s play spot. They offer a spot just for children that has a variety of toys from colonial times as well as a maze for the children to work through. Colton had quite a lot of fun navigating the maze and riding a toy horse, while Andrew took a quick snooze. It was a nice spot to take a little break from everything, let the kids just run free, but still maintain all the history. 

The last major “must see” stop for Colonial Williamsburg is at The Capitol, at the end of Duke of Gloucester Street. It has quite the tale to tell, and our guide very enthusiastically shared its history. Williamsburg was a capital at one point in time, and the capital building itself was built, burned, built, burned, left to disrepair, only to be built again later on. There is only one item that is original to the Capital, and that is the single chair where the leader would sit. The capital was rebuilt as it would have originally been seen and it was interesting to hear the history of Virginia breaking away from England. This stop also included a look at the courthouse, where royal crimes would have been heard. 

Overall, we really enjoyed our time in Colonial Williamsburg! They do a wonderful job with re creating a time in history that is so interesting (and full of strife), while still giving us modern day amenities. It sits right near William and Mary University and there is a full town just right outside the gates, but once you step onto the brick sidewalk and the bit of cobblestone street you feel transported. It was a wonderful day!

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Halfway Through 2018!

Good afternoon! It’s been a while since I just sat down and chatted/talked life updates with you! I figured now would be a good time since we are halfway through the year, coming off an extra serious month of blog posts last month, and a good time to take a minute, pour a cup of tea and just let everything out. 

It’s been a crazy time in our home. From dealing with both boys going through hard phases, husbands schedule picking up a little bit, work heading back into busy, I’m over here just trying to be the glue holding all of the pieces together. Being the glue has kind of always been up my alley, but this has become a whole new level. This weekend being the perfect example of what I mean. 

Husband had the first major paper of his class due, I had the start of the month planning, and the boys were both going through some crazy phase that involved a lot of whining and very little sleep. With all of that, my plans went out the window and I played the do whatever it takes to get through the weekend without losing my mind game. Mostly my weekend consisted of running from one situation to the other, keeping us all “in the game” of getting stuff done, and trying not to let the house get too destroyed. Some weekends are harder than others.

When being the glue takes up all of my time, it can be difficult to feel that “weekend relaxation vibe”, so I took the little bits of time I could to take a little breather. I did get to get a couple hours to myself to go window shopping and walking while the boys napped (and hubs stayed home with them) as well as a bit of yoga in one morning. I tried to make that morning Yoga flow a little bit longer and more focused than normal to try and kick any residual “keep it together blues”.  

In the midst of everything going on, we did manage to catch a couple of family moments, as well as look at what the next couple months will be like. I am a future planner and with it being a new quarter, I want to see how we stand for the next couple of months. 

It’s hard to believe that we are already halfway through 2018! I feel like I’ve had such a good start to this year and for once, all of my intentions are still going strong 6 months in. I haven’t faltered on any goal I’ve set yet, and have even set a couple new goals to help keep the year going. We’ve got an action packed rest of the year, and I can’t wait to talk about it and share it! 

I’ve got some fun posts coming up for this month to try and lighten things up from all of the serious life talk that’s been going on and I’ve got a really good feeling about July. Minus the heat (which right now at least is a killer), it is full of possibilities!

***There will not be a blog post up on Wednesday due to the Independence Day Holiday. I’m taking the full day to just be with family and friends and celebrate. Enjoy!

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It’s Just My $0.02

This topic has been something that has been weighing heavily on me and to be honest, is not one that I really thought I would add my voice to. However, I feel like I have a duty to throw my perspective to the wind and share my thoughts. It’s also ironic timing as quite a few of the posts I’ve got coming up are about not caring about what others think, but I’ve got to get this out of my system. 

As a woman I’m always happy to see other women succeeding at what they choose to do. Whether that be take on a major company, a high up the chain job, or simply run the household. Women are a force to be reckoned with and I certainly feel that we can, and do, whatever we put our minds to do. 

I’ve been supportive of the drive of any person to do what their heart desires. I love that we all have a choice to do what we want to do, and if no one has done that before, we become the first to do it. I LOVE seeing this in my friends and in people that I don’t even necessarily know.

Let me be clear about something, I have a part time job, my own business, and my family. I work very hard at my job and my business, but I make a choice to be home with my children and to work around their needs. I have tweaked my days to perfection to allow for this and I am very proud of the fact that I am a Wife and Mom above all else. I choose to take care of our home and my husband and children. 

There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with this CHOICE. I would not judge another who decided that they wanted to work full time and have a career. That is a CHOICE. And how incredible it is that we can make that choice.

With my mindset being supportive of others in their dreams and desires, no matter what my personal dreams and desires are (because we are all different and want different things), I cannot believe the comments I have gotten in my personal life in regards to my choice. 

I am not any less proud to be a woman, or of the other achievements of women, simply because I am not breaking glass ceilings in the workplace. Because I enjoy cleaning the house, or making dinner for my husband. I also enjoy the work that I do everyday in my job and my business. I find fulfillment in every aspect of my life. 

Here’s a little food for thought to put things in perspective, while you are kicking ass in your job, or your career, or whatever it is that you’re doing, I am kicking ass in my home. In my job. In my business. As long as we are doing what we love, why does it matter?

Why should we look at a woman any less for CHOOSING or WANTING to stay home? With that same thought process, why should we look at a woman any less for CHOOSING or WANTING to go work? To break those barriers? It doesn’t make her any less than anyone else, nor does it mean that she is not supportive of other women breaking barriers. 

Let’s be real, the world isn’t going to move forward if we don’t have both types of women, so why don’t we all get off our high horses and move forward with supporting each other? We are all going through life, one of us is not “better” than the other and honestly, we could probably accomplish a hell of a lot more if we remembered that.

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To My Little Bear on Your First Birthday…

Man the big first birthday. How have you already been in this world for a full year? Where has the time gone? More importantly, how have you grown so much in this short little period of time? It’s hard to believe that it’s been a year, but here we are. Celebrating your first birthday the way we do, just a small family moment. 

Over the past year I have seen you grow, watched you learn, discover, play, fall down and then promptly smile and get back up. I have watched you struggle with colds, with those darn teeth, and with getting a break from big brother (he sure does love you though). I have watched you learn how to roll, crawl, stand, and walk with assistance. You’ve found a love for food (you’re gonna eat us out of the house), laughing, music, and a special love for your big brother. 

You’re a reserved little guy at first, but will open up and just give the biggest, brightest smile. That smile that lights up your whole face and will make the whole world smile along with you. You’re laugh is infectious and while you may not totally share your brothers endless supply of energy (thankfully), you still are quite a firecracker. You are really starting to grow your own little personality and I can’t wait to see it shine through even more.

As I sit here trying to figure out what to make for your first birthday cake (and your first dose of sugar), I’ve been trying to think of a good way to put the first year of your life, but there are no words (well that’s a little strange considering that I’ve typed 249, wait 250 words now). What I mean is that this past year has been priceless. Every little moment with you has been incredible and you’ve brought so much joy into our little family.

Happy Birthday Andrew Gage. We love you so much. 

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Friday Morning Cups

To anyone that’s reading this-this is important. Read on because I have a little story to share.

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This past week had a couple of rough spots. A couple of days where things just overloaded. Where my patience really stretched thin and things started falling through the cracks. My fuse seemingly disappeared and while there wasn’t any sort of breakdown or really bad moments, it was just a week that wore on me.

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Sunday morning I decided to take a little breather. To get out of the house by myself, go to a coffee shop and sit, read and re charge my batteries. I came back to the house feeling so much better. My attitude had shifted. No longer did I have a zero fuse, no longer did I find myself yelling or snapping. I got the to do list done in record time and all with a little smile on my face. I was a better wife and a better mom.

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Now my husband isn’t one to really comment on this type of thing BUT even HE noticed the shift. He told me “If 45 minutes to yourself is all it takes, so that everyday”. He got it. He saw the shift and it clicked.

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Everyone- that time for yourself is SO important. I talk about this so much because it makes a huge difference. That saying is true- you can’t pour from an empty cup.

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The Case for Realness

Sometimes I feel like as Mom’s we feel like we have to spin either this everything is perfect facade or gosh this whole parenting gig is hard. And honestly, you’ll get judged either way you fall. On the “everything is perfect” side of things, you are told that it isn’t realistic or you’re not sharing everything. On the “everything is shit” side of things, you are told that you shouldn’t share those moments publicly, OR maybe you should realize just how lucky you are to have children. No matter what you share, you’ll be judged. 

So why do we try so hard to fall into one or the other? Why can’t we just all be real, 100% of the time? And why, if we all decide to be 100% real, can’t we all support each others choices?Why not put that judgement hat aside and just be a shoulder to lean on? And more importantly, why do we all put so much stock into what others think of us? We are all going through life and motherhood. What works for one, won’t work for all. 

I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t normally post or share about the harder times, not because they don’t happen, but because it is hard to get away from wanting to feel like we’ve got it all together. Because it can come across as not loving motherhood in some ways to some people. I love being a mom, am so blessed to have our two boys, and that doesn’t change because I share the hard moments (and we all have those hard moments). The temper tantrums. The days where it feels like all hell will truly break loose.

In our house, some days are like the first picture. Happy, perfect days where we all get along and things are just good. Some days are like the second picture, where it feels like a never ending thunder storm. Most days are a combination of both pictures with good moments and a couple of harder ones. And sure, I don’t LOVE the hard moments, sure on the days where it just feels like a never ending temper tantrum I may post about it, but I still LOVE being a mom. You can’t take the good with the bad and I know down the line, I’ll miss when the thing they cried about was not being able to pull apart two legos or wanting that extra piece of candy they couldn’t have. 

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Friday Morning Cups

IMG_5577Thursday Morning: “Today is going to be a day that tries me and a day where I just have to keep reminding myself that I am enough. That I can handle what life will throw my way. That I’ve got this. Every once in a while we need to remind ourselves of that (whether it’s a bad day or not) and since I am needing that reminder today, I’m sharing it with you. You are enough. You can handle what is being thrown your way. You got this <3.”

A little backstory- for the past few days our older son has been waking up earlier and earlier. He is so “easy” in the morning (just give him a little drink and he will quietly play until breakfast), so I wouldn’t normally have any issues. These past couple days though, you can tell the whole getting less and less sleep has started to take its tole on him. You can tell that he just hasn’t been getting enough sleep, but he won’t go back to bed.

Thursday was kind of my breaking point because as soon as breakfast came along the whining started. The whining subsequently turned into a full blown temper tantrum. It’s hard because he doesn’t have the words or knowledge to truly VOICE the problem and the only way to really help him is to just be that calming presence. THAT is HARD though and when it is the end of a long day, where that has been the role to play over and over and over again, it gets hard.

So, I needed to take a moment. To re center. To remember that I can do this. That I am enough and further, I am exactly the parent that my child needs.

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Memorial Day

məˈmôrēəl ˌdā/

noun

noun: Memorial Day

  1. a day on which those who died in active military service are remembered, traditionally observed on May 30 but now officially observed on the last Monday in May.

Today is a special day. As you go about your holiday, having out by the swimming pool, having hamburgers/hotdogs, or just enjoying a relaxing day off at home, take a moment to remember what this day is actually about. Remember to pay respect to those who died defending our country. They put themselves in harms way to protect what we hold dear and made the ultimate sacrifice. Remember them. 

It can be as simple as a moment of silence to reflect, or you can go and visit a cemetery. Just do something to keep that memory of those that gave so much alive. They deserve it.

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A Fresh Outlook pt 1: Healthy Eating

*Small disclaimer- I did use to have a very unhealthy relationship with food and eating. I am still recovering and dealing with that every day. You can read about that HERE. I feel comfortable talking about this as I am in a relatively good place (with only a few rough days) and this mind shift has really helped me. 

When my husband was a Drill Sergeant and had a crazy schedule, meals became whatever was quick, easy, and there wasn’t much thought put into them. We were often eating dinner late at night due to his hours (we always eat dinner together and I wasn’t changing that) and I was a big snacker throughout the day. It wasn’t until we moved that I was able to implement a real change in our eating. 

When we moved almost 2 1/2 years ago I decided that we were cutting out the processed crap. I was going to cut all of those box dinners and get back to cooking meals. My husbands schedule tamed down a lot, didn’t have so many crazy or odd hours, and we were able to start meal planning a little better. Changing dinner meals was the easiest with of our lives and we’ve never looked back to those pre boxed quick meals. I actually can’t believe we ate as many as they did as most aren’t super good in taste.

The process of cutting out the junk food was a much harder road to travel. I am a huge snacker and for me, the only way to cut junk food was to cut out most of the snacking. I started by eating a proper breakfast in the morning and then really trying to focus on eating when I was hungry, rather than when I was bored. I also started to try and look at what I was actually eating, rather than just reach for whatever. 

At this point, I’ve cut soda to one a week, plain water and hot tea during the day to drink, popcorn (my guilty pleasure) once a week, and no other chips or really candy. I eat 3 meals everyday, and then if I still feel like I need a little more I’ll reach either for a bar or some fruit. 

To say that I have felt a shift is putting it very mildly. I’m not being “cooky” when I say it was like coming out of a fog. It is absolutely insane to realize how much just eating chips, or having some candy, or even a single soda can really do to you. Not only does my body just feel so much better and healthier, but mentally it is a whole separate ballgame. I find that I am much more even keeled and I don’t constantly just feel yucky. 

I would say the moment that everything clicked was when I was a few weeks clear of chips and candy. I really just felt light and clear in my mindset. I felt like I was just in a better state across the board with my body, my mind, and my emotions. I was able to just do much more because I didn’t have the extra “junk” of junk food in my body. 

That was when it clicked in my head. What fuels our body? In a very literal sense what fuels our bodies is what we actually put in. A lot of how we feel physical and even emotionally can be related to what we are consuming. Our bodies need nourishment in a most basic sense and what you put in is what you will get out. 

This is not only something that I learned not only throughout recovery, but in just experiencing different things in life. What I eat is more than just what I eat. It relates not only to my body, but to my energy, my mood and just my overall health. 

When you look at the idea of food being your fuel and you look at the big picture of what you are putting into your system, you start to get a crystal clear perspective.

Just a few years ago I was eating junk food all the time. I had chips and cookies everyday and a soda almost as frequently. We were having pre made box dinners at dinnertime (mostly out of ease and quickness of preparation than anything else) and while it didn’t seem so bad at the time, looking back I see just how bad I felt.

Hindsight is 20/20-although at the time, I very much knew that I wasn’t the healthiest with my eating habits. At this point we are eating almost all home cooked meals (there are a couple of exceptions here and there) and it has made such a difference. In fact, I would say eating healthier has made more of a difference than the workouts I’ve done. The workouts are great and needed, but where it all begins is with what you are consuming. It’s not a hard change, it just requires a little more thought at the outset. Once you feel the difference, you won’t go back to any previous eating habits. 

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