A Lesson Well Learned…A Little Recap

I feel like I’ve had those back to back weeks where you just don’t catch a break. The first week was just a rough week. Everything that could go wrong went wrong and we all just tried to hold on to the ride. This past week, I felt like I was a hamster on a wheel; never stopping and never getting anywhere. I had SO MUCH that I was trying to accomplish. So many thoughts and ideas constantly going through my head, that it felt like if I didn’t get them out right then and there, they would disappear into the great unknown of my brain.

Basically, rough week followed by insane week. I’ll let you be the judge as to which type of week is worse.

It was around Wednesday or so that I realized I didn’t even know how I was spending my time. I was so far on the wheel, that I couldn’t truly account for where my time I had gone. Sure, I know what hours and work I had accomplished for my part time work, but beyond that- no idea. I was head deep in everything else that I needed to do, needed to get done, and needed to get out of my head that I hadn’t even taken two seconds to look outside. IMG_0491

It was a beautiful day on Wednesday. A perfect day some would say (seeing how the weather turned bad quickly, others may say it was a “calm before the storm”). The sun was bright, not many clouds in sight and whats more, it was the perfect temperature. I sat at our dining room table just stunned for a moment as the realization of what was going on hit me.

I needed to get off that wheel and get off it fast. I decided that lunchtime on that beautiful day would be spent outside, getting some rays (and Vitamin D!) and just overall reveling in what was a perfect little break. Not only did I come back in feeling much more refreshed and ready to get back into the thick of things, but I got some much needed free time with my children. Such freedom is found when you can just galavant across the backyard.

To top off my insane week even further, at some point in the past week my youngest started developing more of that “big boy” look to him. He is still young and is still a baby, but he just started looking and doing things that just made my mommy heart cry out- my little baby is starting to grow up. I didn’t even know when that had started, just a week ago he was still wanting to snuggle and sleep on my chest (ok, ok, he still does some of that) and now here he is, standing against furniture, babbling, scooting all over the place, and just overall acting and starting to look like a little boy rather than a baby.

It took these two “shocks” to my system to remind myself of a couple things.

One, I am never going to get these times back. My children are not always going to want to just run around with mommy in the backyard. They aren’t always going to find that little joy in the birds flying overhead or the trees swaying in an absolutely ridiculous windstorm.

Two, anything that falls with number one goes ahead of ANYTHING else. My little family is above anything else. It is so easy to get caught up in everything else that is going on and trying to get things done and it can be so hard to see that you are losing sight of what is truly important until you have a moment like I did on Wednesday.

We’ve had a relatively easy weekend, getting back from the insanity of the week and re grounding ourselves into our little family and just focusing on each other.

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Coming Back from “Hot Mess-Ville”

It was a rough week. To be brutally honest, I had one of those weeks where by the end of it, you are just grateful to have gotten yourself, your husband, and your children through the week unscathed. I don’t even know if I could tell you what happened to set the week off, or how we got to such a rough spot, all I know was that somewhere along the way I had boarded the express train to Hot Mess-ville.

Normally I can still keep my head up if it is just one person in our family having a rough week. I can up the care that that person receives and adjust everything else as needed. But when everyone is just in that rough spot, it makes it ten times harder.

Let’s see…

Our oldest was just having an “off” week. There isn’t anything going on with him aside from an exacerbation of the normal 2 year old problems. It seemed like everything was magnified and even the littlest things became a major temper tantrum. We did a lot of bedroom cool downs, mom/dad snuggles, and just lay and cries with him. The combination of him being such a stubborn independent child, with a very full, strong willed personality makes for some good and some bad situations. We are still trying to learn what works best for him and how to teach him.

Our youngest was having a nice amount of his own issues as well. He’s getting those two top teeth and he is an angry teether (our oldest was quite mild with teething until his canines and molars). We had a lot of fussing, A LOT of snuggling, but not a lot of day time napping. I know I shouldn’t complain because he is an excellent night time sleeper, but daytime naps play such an integral role for both of the children and when they are cut back in time or don’t happen it makes for a tough rest of the day.

On top of that, both boys are going through growth spurts. It seemed like I was trying to feed double our household. I know this is going to be a situation we frequently encounter as they are boys and will continue to consume more food than I thought possible (our oldest had 2.5 pancakes for breakfast one morning?!) for the rest of their lives. At times it seemed that we would never get a reprieve from the crying.

With all of that going on, I was dealing with a come and go migraine all week long and was overall just feeling all out of sorts. I felt like I wasn’t accomplishing anything when it came to day to day tasks (although I was) and there were a couple moments over the week that I just ended up “throwing in the towel”. My husband was trying to sort out what his new assignment and responsibilities would be.

Somehow though, we’ve all made it through the week and it’s time to put this bad one behind us as we step into a new week. Things seem to already be looking up as I am writing this as we’ve got the grocery shopping done for the week (cheaper than last week!) and I have a bit of free time to just relax before getting dinner ready. I fully plan on enjoying my cup of tea and getting a little reading done while the kids (actually) nap! Ah such bliss after a rough week.

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What Motivates Me

*Please note- I don’t “do it all”. Most days I do what I can and simply let the rest go. Some days I don’t even end up getting that far. I’ve been on both sides and while I don’t have all of my $h** together, I try to at least do what I can do. This post is talking about what motivates me to do what I CAN do rather than how I “do it all”. *

A lot of times I get asked- “How do I do it?”. Balancing life, work, children, a home, etc is a lot. How do you manage? To start with, I don’t always, BUT if we want to go down that road…

While that is an excellent question and a good topic to talk on in the future; the more important question that should be asked is WHY do I do it? Why get up so early? Why keep everything tidy? Why get yourself ready every morning, even if you are not leaving the house? WHY????

To answer this question, you must look at one thing:

WHAT MOTIVATES YOU? What drives YOU to do what you do? EVERYONE has a lot going on in their lives and a balancing act is essential to anyone’s life. What is different for each person is not how that person does it, but why. Pinpointing this fact will help keep everything in perspective when you are trying to balance things (it may even end up helping you cut down some things that you do that aren’t “necessary” to your own balancing act).

For me,

  • I do it for my kids who deserve a mother who is at her best both mentally and physically.
  • I do it for my husband who works so hard, with long hours everyday, and doesn’t need to come home to a dirty home and whole bunch of other tasks. * Not to say that he doesn’t do anything at home- he helps out A LOT, but if I can take some of that strain off of him, I will.
  • Most importantly, I do it for myself. In order for me to be at my best and to take care of everyone I need to take care of myself. There are things that I like to do and get done throughout the day to keep both myself and my family running smoothly.

When you think about what motivates you, the why you do it suddenly becomes clear.

Why, you may still ask? I do what I do because I want to be at my personal best to be the best for myself and my family (and by extension my friends, my work, my business).

Being able to see my husband able to come home and simply relax after a long day, or my children having free reign of a clean house, or for me being able to sink into my chair with a book and a cup of tea- everything else becomes totally worth it.

It also helps me keep things into perspective with my own balancing act and really helps on those days when I feel like I don’t have anything “together”.

So, before you ask Why, think What Motivates You?

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These Are The Moments…A Weekend Recap

This weekend we decided to do something fun, possibly crazy and completely new for the kids. We decided to camp out in the living room- tent and all.

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This has been something that we have been thinking about doing for a little while now (especially since we plan on going camping for real once our youngest is a little bit older). Now that our older son is at a good age and has a good sleeping routine down, we figured we could just give sleeping in a tent in the living room a shot. My husband and I have “camped out” in the living room before, maybe a little more than normal, but we don’t mind spending a night in our living room. This whole “adventure” just became a really fun thing to try and do and it turned out to be a big hit! Seeing the huge smile light up his whole face made the entire night perfect.

Our younger son is not quite at the age to really just stay out in the living room and get a decent sleep (plus he really likes his bed) so after he went to bed, we unpacked the tent, got it set up and ready to stay in for the evening. Tent setting up was a huge hit for our older son as he recognized it as something new and fun going on.

A big hit with us (as parents) was the fact that he ended up sleeping his normal hours of sleep. We had to shut off all of the lights in this portion of the house (our house gets really bright), but he ended up falling asleep and waking up close to the same hours that he does in his own bed.

*For space reasons, I actually ended up staying on the couch, but still enjoyed it.*

The fun didn’t end there, we left the tent up through nap time the next day so our younger son could enjoy it as well! He had fun exploring the new space and feeling the different texture of the tent and the sleeping bag.

All in all it added a fun twist to what would inevitably become “just another rainy weekend at home” (which we do actually love). With all the rain, there wasn’t much playing outside, so it was nice to bring some of the fun inside! These are the moments that I just want to remember and share.

 

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The First Month Has Ended…

IMG_8930So, January 2018 has come to an end. How was the first month for you? How is the year starting? If you made any resolutions have you stuck with them or have they already gone out the window?

If January was good to you- great! Now you’ve got to keep that momentum going. February is a hard month, but if you can channel all that momentum you had going at the beginning of January, you can power straight through February and right into March. Remember how you felt each time or day that you accomplished your goal and hold on to that feeling when you want to skip a day or slack off on whatever it is that you want to accomplish this year.

If January was not so good – that’s ok! February is a new month and a fresh start. Put everything that was bad (or not so good) about January behind you. Don’t hold onto that negative as you head into a new month. Set a new or revised intention to start February and work towards that. Just because January was not the best DOES NOT mean that 2018 is doomed or that you need to hold on to it. Start fresh.

For me, January was a good month. Definitely not the best month I’ve ever had, but it was a really good and positive moth. I said at the start of the year that I don’t set resolutions, however my intention has been going alright. I have been avoiding speaking negatively about people (although I have slipped up a time or two being honest) and I’ve already accomplished so so much. I’m really positive that 2018 is going to a really good year all around.

For February I am looking forward to not only continuing with what I’ve been accomplishing, but expanding my intentions to include some more bits with A Cuppa Cosy. I am going to be taking some time to create a path and full vision for what I want A Cuppa Cosy to really be. I’m excited to share with you along the way!

Until Next Time

#33537 Mia Speier SL final

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10 Facts About Me

Hey everyone! I’m not normally good at these types of things (the whole state one interesting fact about yourself type of thing), but I figured that this was a good way for you to not only get me, but find out some new things and me to learn about you! I am going to list 10 Facts about me starting with some basic obvious ones and then throwing in some not so obvious ones, and then I want to hear something about you! Leave me a comment with some fact about yourself at the end.

Speier Family in Alexandria, VA10 Facts:

  1. I am a wife to a wonderful, hard working, supportive man and a mom to two little boys. They are my world.
  2. I work part time in an administrative position and I own my own business (The Cosy Book Shoppe).
  3. I am an avid reader and tea drinker. I would rather spend time with a good cup of tea and a book than anything else (aside from my family of course).
  4. I LOVE Penguins. They are my favorite animal followed closely by dolphins.
  5. I collect Mugs. A lot of mugs. So many that every few months I go through and clean them out. They all get used on a regular basis.
  6. I am somewhat old fashioned. I miss the days of no (or limited) technology.
  7. Going off of #6, I have a somewhat old fashioned marriage. Not only is it perfect for us, but I am proud of that. I’ll talk about it later on in another post (maybe).
  8. I try to live and document every moment, yet still be present in those moments. I am constantly taking pictures and videos. That may seem paradoxical, but it works out really well. I love not only being able to be in that moment, but also able to look back at it later on.
  9. I’m a big believer in what I call daylight fuel. I believe that having natural light and fresh air around you, your home, your office, wherever is such a boost. It is a mood booster, a productivity booster, and is just overall so beneficial beyond just the physical benefits.
  10. I’m a big believer in finding (and then following) your passion. Once you have found your passion I firmly believe that finding out how to take your passion and turn it into your life and career.

So, those are 10 Facts About Me! Now, let me know a fact about yourself! Drop a comment below 🙂

Until Next Time

#33537 Mia Speier SL final

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Planning in 2018

I’m a paper and pen kinda gal. I firmly believe in writing down goals, plans, to do’s and believe that it helps organize not only your life, but your mind. Once it’s written down, you are more than likely not only going to get whatever it is done, but you’ll feel better just by writing whatever it is down. I am not someone who really uses my phone as a main calendar, but rather as a back up system. I like to be able to disconnect and disengage from technology and by using a physical planner and journal, just makes it that much easier.

So, what am I using for this year? Excellent question. I tend to switch things up throughout the year, but one of my intentions last year was to stick through one single planner. This year I want to carry through with that same intention. I spent the better portion of the year in a bullet journal and considered that intention a success. While I love the bullet journal and think that it is great, this year I have decided to go back to a pre filled planner. At this point I really would like the bare bones of my planner already filled in and I can just write in my specifics.

IMG_7327This year I have picked out a Blue Sky and Day Designer collaboration planner from (big surprise) Target. I have used Day Designer planners before and I love them! I may actually end up going back to a full size Day Designer planner, but for now I have gotten this simple month and week layout going. I typically spend about 15 minutes or so Sunday Evening or Monday Morning mapping out my week and then about 5-10 minutes each morning with any specifics I want to mark down.

The other item that I have is my own personal journal. Once again, I am a firm believer in the paper and pen method and I write down 95% of everything. Some things I do not, but if something is bothering me or I’m having a rough time, I find that sitting down and writing it out helps so incredibly much. I try to write regularly and typically do about once a week (if not even more than that). It is just so helpful in getting things out of your head, off your plate, and a lot of times it helps me sort through my own thoughts.

This year I have a feeling I’ll be filling more than one journal, but I am starting with, yet another Target find, a Pink Light Design Notebook. It’s not what I typically go for, but I really liked it and I feel like it fit what I was hoping for for the beginning of my year.

So that is that! Those are the paper items I am using this year to help me stay on track for my year. Are you a pen and paper person? What are you using to keep organized this year?

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Let’s Look Back at 2017

So much happened. I’m not getting into the life or world news worthy times because…well I try not to live in those moments. Rather, I am going to talk about personal and family things that happened this year. I try to go through this every year (normally in my journal) as a way to look back one last time and look forward. The end of a year is a unique time where you can look back and forward simultaneously. First to look back…

  1. My baby Fox turned a year old at the start of 2017. This is kind of a cheat because his birthday is right after New Years and he will be turning two shortly, but it was still so crazy. Since his first birthday he has learned so much and has become very rambunctious. I can see a future little troublemaker coming through. His wealth of knowledge at his young age continues to amaze me every day (especially when he figures something out that I haven’t even really taught him) as well as his ever pickier eating and life habits. He has grown more stubborn and somehow more independent in this year.
  2. My baby Bear made his grand entrance halfway through the year (talk about timing, huh?). He has such a focus and determination on every little thing that he has come across in his first 6 months. I’m excited to see him continue to grow and learn. In his first 6 months he has not only learned how to do his developmental things (rolling, sitting, etc) he has learned how to captivate his brothers attention, make the dog run (towards him), and make us all fall in love all over again. He is so different, but still similar to his brother and I can’t wait to see how grows and learns in 2018! He has only been her for 6 months and already has made such a statement.
  3. My ever loving husband has weathered this past year so incredibly well, through the rough start at the beginning, the long hours of work, a newborn coming halfway through and spending the last month of the year at what seems like endless work hours. He made the promotion list at his job and was promoted towards the beginning of the year. He had one of his best hunting this year when we headed home, bringing back 3 deer to fill our freezer. He continues to be supportive and loving as well as a smart ass. We’ve grown a lot this past year in our relationship as we have continued to learn all about the journey of life.
  4. Something in me really clicked this past year. I’ve felt a weight just lifted from my body and myself. I’ve felt lighter, more comfortable, confident and self assured as to where I am in my life and what I am doing. I feel so very fulfilled in most of the areas in my life and I find that simply having that has been such a big change this past year. The end of this year has brought a new level of confidence in myself that is immeasurable. I’m not sure what really triggered this change, possibly a combination of several factors, but it’s been such a change. Beyond what I’ve already listed, it brings such a relaxing confidence. I’ve really enjoyed this new round of self discovery and I look forward to what 2018 will bring.
  5. Finally, one of the last things I want to touch on was vacations. We took quite a few trips in 2017, the biggest new one being a week in Maine. One of the best vacations we have been on and a new tradition that we are starting. We also visited Philadelphia and several spots closer to our current home in Virginia and D.C.

So far 2018 looks like it is going to be the year of new adventures. With a bucket list of things that we want to do in the Northern Virginia/Maryland/D.C. area, a business, and two wonderful growing kids, I fully plan on having quite the year! I can’t wait to see what we get up to in the new year.

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A Little Honesty for your Everyday

Let’s have a little honesty here for a minute…not that I’m ever dishonest, but let’s get really real. My life feels like a mess. This past week has been a disaster from start to finish in terms of just getting things done and it has made me crazy! I’m about to show how insane I can be with this post, so hopefully it doesn’t freak you out…

I am someone who likes things to be clean, put away, organized and handled. Mess causes stress. Clutter is no good in our home. I talked about my cleaning routine at the start of last week, which is ironic because all of last week I ended up getting very little cleaning done, which has caused me quite the panic.

*facepalm* right about now.

As I get later and later into this pregnancy (4 weeks to go if Little Bear comes when he is supposed to) I am finding it harder and harder to get things done. Not because I have a huge honking belly, or because I’m exhausted at the end of a long day chasing a toddler around, nor is it because I have been having contractions on and off. It is simply because there has been so much on my list of to do’s that I then end up feeling like I’m never going to get anything done.

This list is ever growing as we are counting down our days and some days it just seems like I add more to it than I cross off. The list was overwhelming me, the mess was overwhelming me, the general busyness of my days was overwhelming me. Normally I can barrel through just about anything, but nope I just hit the brakes. Which in any reasonable person would single a “hey- take a step back, breathe, realize that you can’t do it all.” thought or even a “it can be handled another day” though. Not for me. My brain immediately went into panic mode causing even more disarray. Not only was my house a mess and cluttered, but now so was my mind.

Thankfully when I have my moments, I have an incredible husband who steps up and helps clean up around the house, is an amazing father, and really steps in when I am drowning in my own mind. This has been a huge help lately as things start to change in our family with a new addition coming. Also, with him stepping in I have actually been able to cross some things off of my list and I’m heading into this week feeling more like myself than last week.

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Household Chores: Weekly Cleaning

It’s the household chores that not many like or want to do, but yet they have to get done. The chores like vacuuming, laundry, cleaning the bathrooms, every day things that need to be done no matter how much we don’t want to do them. On the whole, I am not a huge fan of cleaning, rather I like the results after I clean. I like having a clean, put together, presentable home and I find that our household generally runs better when it is clean. For us, mess leads to stress. Clutter is something we don’t like and when things are up and put away we are a happier family.

When you are tidying and doing regular every day cleaning, I find that the “bigger” things such as vacuuming or dusting or chores that are more “intensive” than just picking up toys and putting dishes away, tend to be put off. It turns into a “It can wait till tomorrow” or “It’s not that bad right now, we can wait another week”. Then those chores that may not have been at the top of the list, tend to become urgent later on. I have found a way to clean that not only works for myself, but allows me to have a clean house 99% of the time and doesn’t make me feel like I am just doing everything.

I figured this routine out by trial and error and a little bit of self reflection. I realized that if I was assigning myself one “chore” a day, such as dusting it was much easier for me to put it off to another day. For some reason in my mind, having one chore (even if it is for the entire house) is easier to put off, rather than having to do all of the chores for one room. In the end I was either missing chores throughout the week, or having to do do everything for the whole house on one day. Neither option was working. So, I came up with a new approach.

Every day (except Saturday and Sunday) I clean a room from top to bottom. For example, on Monday’s I clean the kitchen. I windex the windows, dust everything, clean and sanitize all of the counter spaces (which is something I do every day irregardless), clean the microwave and oven, sweep the floors(which I also do several times throughout the week in the evening) , and clear out our fridge and pantry. These are all tasks that are easily completed within about an hour and when done every week, keep our kitchen and dining area free of clutter and mess.

This routine ensures that I am not only keeping the house clear of dust and dirt, but also that those chores that I was putting off get done. Approaching it in a room by room situation seems to work better for me and helps me keep a more manageable approach to cleaning. Some days I do combine rooms as it is either simpler or not as much to do in each room. For example, I combine both Boy’s rooms and their bathroom, because they are smaller and require a little less attention than say, our Kitchen or Master Bedroom that has more items. I also do a mop of all of the wood and tile floors every other week, and wash blankets, sheets, etc every other week as well.

This is on top of just my standard everyday things that need to be done, such as picking up toys that have become scattered throughout the day, dishes, and just general tidying of our home. I like to wake up with a clean home, so every evening I try to make sure that everything has been picked up, dishwasher has been started, counter tops and kitchen table is clean and the house just has a generally clean state. I find that this allows my mornings to be so much less stressful (I mean who wants to deal with dishes first thing in the morning?!) and I get a much better start to my day. It may seem like a lot to do, but like I said when you look at the chores for each room, it only takes about an hour each day, with some days being less than that, and it seems much easier to say, today I am going to clean our Living Room and then just do it, rather than today I am going to dust and vacuum the entire house. The same chores get completed in the same timeline (each room is dusted, vacuumed, etc once a week), but taking it room by room seems to me to be less daunting.

I do take Saturday’s “off” of my chore cleaning as we are typically out of the house on those days and just enjoying our family time together and Sunday’s are devoted to the never ending chore called Laundry. Overall though, I really like this routine and while I am cleaning I blast some music – in my headphones because…nap time. Dare I say it- cleaning actually becomes enjoyable!

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