To My Little Bear on Your First Birthday…

Man the big first birthday. How have you already been in this world for a full year? Where has the time gone? More importantly, how have you grown so much in this short little period of time? It’s hard to believe that it’s been a year, but here we are. Celebrating your first birthday the way we do, just a small family moment. 

Over the past year I have seen you grow, watched you learn, discover, play, fall down and then promptly smile and get back up. I have watched you struggle with colds, with those darn teeth, and with getting a break from big brother (he sure does love you though). I have watched you learn how to roll, crawl, stand, and walk with assistance. You’ve found a love for food (you’re gonna eat us out of the house), laughing, music, and a special love for your big brother. 

You’re a reserved little guy at first, but will open up and just give the biggest, brightest smile. That smile that lights up your whole face and will make the whole world smile along with you. You’re laugh is infectious and while you may not totally share your brothers endless supply of energy (thankfully), you still are quite a firecracker. You are really starting to grow your own little personality and I can’t wait to see it shine through even more.

As I sit here trying to figure out what to make for your first birthday cake (and your first dose of sugar), I’ve been trying to think of a good way to put the first year of your life, but there are no words (well that’s a little strange considering that I’ve typed 249, wait 250 words now). What I mean is that this past year has been priceless. Every little moment with you has been incredible and you’ve brought so much joy into our little family.

Happy Birthday Andrew Gage. We love you so much. 

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A Week Away…These are the Moments

This past week we went on the first of our two summer vacations. This first one was a special one as we decided to take a somewhat “spontaneous” trip to see some family. I say somewhat spontaneous as this was not in our original plans for this year, but rather we decided it about a month to a month and a half out. 

We’ve got family getting ready to move out of the country for a little bit and this was going to be the last chance to really get to see them and have the entire family together. It was also a good chance to get the boys together with their cousins and for us to just get a little bit of a break. We loaded up the car and headed on our way…

However crazy this past week has been between teething, sleeping, noise, and food, it was so so SO much fun! I always love being around family and it is such a blast to watch all of the grandkids playing together. The boys had so much fun playing with their cousins and ALL of the toys. They got to not only play with new toys, but the amount of learning that happens with that is so good.

We had fun getting away from work and catching up with family. It is good to just be able to disengage from your normal. To be able to break out of that routine and just breathe easy for a little while. Not have to almost rush through your days to get everything done, everyone fed and happy. It was nice to just focus on the boys and my husband for the week. 

It is so important to be able to get this time away; not only for my husband and I, but for our children as well. They can pick up on so many tiny little emotions and while they may not understand what it means, they can understand when Mommy and Daddy are tired/stressed/have a lot going on. They also then get stuck into these little ruts and getting out of that routine, even for only a couple of days (less than the week we did this time) is good for everyone.

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To My Boys Who Made Me A Mom

To my boys who made me a mom-

I’m going to go all mushy and disorganized here for a minute-although what else is new?

Sure this day may be all about appreciating Mothers and all that they do, but I want to take a minute for the boys (and my husband) who actually made me a mother.

When we first found out I was pregnant with our first, there was a nervous excitement. This was what we had wanted. What we prayed for. What would change our lives forever. We experienced that same feeling (then followed by a whole lot of sickness) with our second.

While I may remember what life was like before kids, I can’t imagine our lives without these two. These boys are the lights of our lives. They have brought such a happiness to our family and home. Watching them grow and learn has been the greatest joy of my day to day.

I love you both so incredibly much (so much so, sometimes it hurts) and thank you for letting me be your mom. For giving me the ultimate blessing of motherhood. I will always be there and will always work hard to be the best mom I can be for you.

To my husband- I couldn’t do this without you. Aside from the obvious biological reasons, I couldn’t imagine raising these boys or living our little life we’ve made without you.

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Raising Boys Episode 1: What I Didn’t Fully Appreciate

When we found out we were expecting our first, and that it was going to be a boy, we were inundated with helpful little tips, tricks, and ideas on what our like would start to be like. Of course, we had both been around children before and had a general idea of what raising our little blessing(s) would be. Then when we were expecting our second boy, again, a new level of tips and tricks of what having multiple children (especially boys) would be like. 

Fast forward about 2.5-3 years and we have actual knowledge of what raising our little blessing(s) is like. For the most part the actuality followed along with what our general idea was, but there are a few things that I feel like I hadn’t fully understood, until we had two boys. I figured this would be a fun little way to talk about the partially unexpected things that I have discovered along the way. 

Now, a couple of things before we begin. You may have seen some of these before, but I’m going to repeat them because they are true (and I didn’t fully appreciate that fact). While most of these are my experience with raising two boys, I am not going to be talking about the whole concept of anatomy when it comes to boys. I haven’t fully encountered those situations yet so maybe I’ll talk about that in a later posting? I do not plan on this being a one off thing. I think it would be fun to do these every once in a while just to see how things change, how the boys grow, and how my take on this changes. 

I will also say that at the time of this 1st edition, my boys are 2 years (and a couple months change) and 10 months old. 

  1. The noise level is beyond your imagination. I thought I knew noise. I thought I understand noise. I didn’t. To be honest, I’m fairly positive that this is just a general kid thing, but holy moly we have a very loud house at this point in time. Maybe at some point, our oldest will stop running laps around the house yelling at the top of his lungs, and the main communication between both boys will not be screeching. Maybe. 
  2. The energy level is beyond my wildest dreams. Again, this is probably just a general kid thing, but I swear our oldest just has some hidden unlimited store. He could rival the Energizer Bunny. Nothing seems to put a dent in that hidden energy store. He will spend an hour just running laps through our upper level and be completely fine. Our younger one isn’t quite up to his level, but he is getting there as well. I am awaiting the day that we can start to put them in sports, because I think they will both love them and hopefully it will use up some of that energy!
  3. The “fear factor” is non existent. There is not a lot that phases or scares either of our boys. They just go full speed ahead to whatever, whether that is climbing on the couch or running down a hill or wrestling with each other (yes we’ve already entered the wrestling phase- ugh). The wrestling one is the one that I watch a little closer as our youngest is still a little young for all the craziness, but they both really love it. And again, no fear when it comes to any of it. This was a hard one for my momma heart to adjust to, but it just kind of comes with our territory. 
  4. The amount of love they have to give is incredible. Boys are seriously just the sweetest. They catch in those unsuspecting moments and just melt your heart away. I am continuously in awe watching the two of them bond and just give love not only to each other, or to us, but to everyone around them. Our oldest just smiles and talks to almost anyone (we are starting to work on the whole concept of strangers), and our youngest is starting to warm up to people. It just warms my soul. 

So that is what I’ve got for the first edition! Have there been any bits of advice that you got that you didn’t full appreciate until you had kids? I’d love to hear them!

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Mid Week Meltdowns

Almost every week, like clockwork,  we have one day that is just all around rough.  A day where it just seems like both boys spend the day in tears, fighting, or just overall in a yuck mood. It has become such a part of our life, that I have coined the term “Mid Week Meltdown” to put a name on that day. Mid Week came from the fact that it is typically on a Wednesday. The exact middle of the week and both boys just go off to another world. Mid Week Meltdown days typically look something like this:

Now, we don’t experience this every single week, but it does occur quite frequently. While I don’t have a perfect way of dealing with these days, I have honed down just a couple of tips to keep myself sane, and then in turn help me help the boys out. This definitely isn’t perfect or even the best answer, but I have found that on days where nothing seems to be working, these are the things that I try to keep in mind on these days.

The first thing I try to remember is that it is just a phase/day/season. It will not stay forever. These rough days (or even full patches) are just that. They will come to an end, and both myself and our children will come through them with new tools. No matter how long the time may seem, it will resolve (or it’ll be bedtime haha).

The second thing I try to keep in mind is that my oldest is only two years old. He doesn’t possess the full vocabulary and knowledge to express everything that he is feeling/going through. Hell sometimes he can’t even truly express what he actually wants. Their brains are developing and while we can (and do) teach him, there are times when he just isn’t able to communicate what exactly it is that he needs in that moment.

What I have found in dealing with this is that alone time can be crucial. Hear me out with this one as it is an important lesson to learn, even with newborns. When the point comes (and it will come) that quite honestly NOTHING seems to be working. No tool in your toolbox is helping yourself or your kid and both of you are reaching the end of your rope, separation is key. Honestly I find that putting our oldest in his room- separating him from not only whatever it is that is causing the frustration and from me (who at this point is dwindling and holding on by a single piece of hair) solves a lot of the issue. We both have a chance to cool down, me in the quiet, him in the sanctuary of his own space, and just a few minutes later we re unite and are actually able to talk (and hug) and all is right again.

I don’t treat this as a time out. He has had time outs before and with those his toys are picked up off the floor in his room and he has a set period of time. This is more of a comfort time. Where he just needs the sanctuary of his own space where he can just take a moment to collect himself. We all need this time, even as adults.

Now, heading to rooms and walking away is not the first choice. It is not something I do right off the bat. I usually try and work with our oldest and see if we can work together to figure out whatever is causing the problem. However there are times where the only thing that will really work is him going into his room and take a little break. When these times come, I am more than happy to let him go into his room, his sanctuary, and take a moment to himself. 90% of the time he takes a couple of minutes, calms down, and it’s as if nothing ever happened. We have some squeezes, a kiss and off we go to play.

Have you experienced a meltdown? What are your tips?

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The 5 W’s of A Cuppa Cosy

I wanted to take a quick moment today and touch base with myself, with you, and just lay out who I am (which most of you probably already know), what A Cuppa Cosy is/what I want to do, where, when, and most importantly WHY.

So…

Speier Family in Alexandria, VA

Who: If you’ve been around for al little while you know who I am. If you’re new, hi! I’m Mia, a wife, mom, homemaker, business owner, and employee. I am a lover of all things cosy, an avid reader, a serious tea drinker and a semi adventurer. There are a few things I am passionate about (aside from my family) and those things are: mental and physical health, travel and being 100% in every aspect of your life. I don’t mince words, I wont BS you, and will always be 100% authentic.

What: This is a place for me to share my life, my stories, my everyday to help you not feel so alone. A feeling of meeting up with a good friend a chatting over a cup of tea/coffee. Someone that you feel like you are right in the trenches of life with in a place where not everything is perfectly curated with all the sunshine and daisies. A place that is true to every aspect of life, the good and the bad. I want to create a community of women and moms who are just experiencing life together.

Where: Well, I’ve got this blog which will feature 2 posts a week, along with a Facebook Page (HERE) and Instagram Page (HERE) for everyday day glimpses. I will also have a Facebook Group for the community and all of us to share day to day, but that is currently in development. Like & Follow the blog and social media and check back for updates on the Facebook Group!

When: Blog Posts will be posted on Mondays and Wednesdays- Mondays being more of a recap/spontaneous style, Wednesdays being more of a tip or learning post.

Why: I see a lot of either end of the spectrum- the perfectly coiffed, always perfect, ready to go mom and family OR the over the top hot mess, don’t care mom. I have not seen a place where there is a middle ground. Where there is a place that is both good and bad and in a way that is completely real and authentic. I didn’t see a view of just a real woman who is going through real life- with all of it’s ups and downs.

I want to help women and moms by sharing my story/life and giving them a real community to share, learn, and uplift so they can be their best selves in their own lives (all while being as cosy as possible 🙂 ).

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Coming Back from “Hot Mess-Ville”

It was a rough week. To be brutally honest, I had one of those weeks where by the end of it, you are just grateful to have gotten yourself, your husband, and your children through the week unscathed. I don’t even know if I could tell you what happened to set the week off, or how we got to such a rough spot, all I know was that somewhere along the way I had boarded the express train to Hot Mess-ville.

Normally I can still keep my head up if it is just one person in our family having a rough week. I can up the care that that person receives and adjust everything else as needed. But when everyone is just in that rough spot, it makes it ten times harder.

Let’s see…

Our oldest was just having an “off” week. There isn’t anything going on with him aside from an exacerbation of the normal 2 year old problems. It seemed like everything was magnified and even the littlest things became a major temper tantrum. We did a lot of bedroom cool downs, mom/dad snuggles, and just lay and cries with him. The combination of him being such a stubborn independent child, with a very full, strong willed personality makes for some good and some bad situations. We are still trying to learn what works best for him and how to teach him.

Our youngest was having a nice amount of his own issues as well. He’s getting those two top teeth and he is an angry teether (our oldest was quite mild with teething until his canines and molars). We had a lot of fussing, A LOT of snuggling, but not a lot of day time napping. I know I shouldn’t complain because he is an excellent night time sleeper, but daytime naps play such an integral role for both of the children and when they are cut back in time or don’t happen it makes for a tough rest of the day.

On top of that, both boys are going through growth spurts. It seemed like I was trying to feed double our household. I know this is going to be a situation we frequently encounter as they are boys and will continue to consume more food than I thought possible (our oldest had 2.5 pancakes for breakfast one morning?!) for the rest of their lives. At times it seemed that we would never get a reprieve from the crying.

With all of that going on, I was dealing with a come and go migraine all week long and was overall just feeling all out of sorts. I felt like I wasn’t accomplishing anything when it came to day to day tasks (although I was) and there were a couple moments over the week that I just ended up “throwing in the towel”. My husband was trying to sort out what his new assignment and responsibilities would be.

Somehow though, we’ve all made it through the week and it’s time to put this bad one behind us as we step into a new week. Things seem to already be looking up as I am writing this as we’ve got the grocery shopping done for the week (cheaper than last week!) and I have a bit of free time to just relax before getting dinner ready. I fully plan on enjoying my cup of tea and getting a little reading done while the kids (actually) nap! Ah such bliss after a rough week.

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These Are The Moments…A Weekend Recap

This weekend we decided to do something fun, possibly crazy and completely new for the kids. We decided to camp out in the living room- tent and all.

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This has been something that we have been thinking about doing for a little while now (especially since we plan on going camping for real once our youngest is a little bit older). Now that our older son is at a good age and has a good sleeping routine down, we figured we could just give sleeping in a tent in the living room a shot. My husband and I have “camped out” in the living room before, maybe a little more than normal, but we don’t mind spending a night in our living room. This whole “adventure” just became a really fun thing to try and do and it turned out to be a big hit! Seeing the huge smile light up his whole face made the entire night perfect.

Our younger son is not quite at the age to really just stay out in the living room and get a decent sleep (plus he really likes his bed) so after he went to bed, we unpacked the tent, got it set up and ready to stay in for the evening. Tent setting up was a huge hit for our older son as he recognized it as something new and fun going on.

A big hit with us (as parents) was the fact that he ended up sleeping his normal hours of sleep. We had to shut off all of the lights in this portion of the house (our house gets really bright), but he ended up falling asleep and waking up close to the same hours that he does in his own bed.

*For space reasons, I actually ended up staying on the couch, but still enjoyed it.*

The fun didn’t end there, we left the tent up through nap time the next day so our younger son could enjoy it as well! He had fun exploring the new space and feeling the different texture of the tent and the sleeping bag.

All in all it added a fun twist to what would inevitably become “just another rainy weekend at home” (which we do actually love). With all the rain, there wasn’t much playing outside, so it was nice to bring some of the fun inside! These are the moments that I just want to remember and share.

 

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Sharing is Caring…Right?

We have encountered a new “fun” problem in our home With a new mobile, very determined 7.5 month old and a stubborn, also very determined 2 year old this issue was bound to pop up sooner or later, it was just a matter of when…and over what toy.

Enter the toy (two toys actually)…the Little People farm animals from Fisher Price and a Thomas the Train train set (which yes, I know is a potential choke hazard – Littlest didn’t actually end up playing with them). One child peacefully, blissfully playing with a toy. Second child spots said toy. All chaos ensues because a temper tantrum is perfect at 9AM and we are only just entering the realm of sharing- our oldest is only just encountering the idea of sharing his toys.

I knew this day would come. I know playtime will sometimes be such sweet blissful moments of them playing together and there will sometimes be blow ups and tantrums over who had what toy and how to play. I couldn’t predict what would set it off, I didn’t know how we would handle it or what would work for the boys. What I do know is that sharing has now become a part of playtime for the past week or so.

Most of the time a simple “No, your brother is playing with that, why don’t you play with (insert toys across the room)” seems to do the trick. If they both are super determined to play with that same toy, we have a “divy it up” system, where one boy picks one part and the other picks a different part. Example: the Little People, we split up the animals. Sometimes they fight over the barn, but typically it is just the animals. By dividing the toys, they actually end up being able to play well together.

For those times neither of those works? Well, you’ve got me there. Most of the time there is an underlying cause that is causing the temper tantrum and once we can figure that out, things are good to go. If there isn’t, then it just has to be cried out. Sometimes our children just need to cry and as much as that may be irritating to us as parents, it’s what they need and I let it happen – even if it means they go to their room and do it while I enjoy a cup of tea in the living room.

How did you handle sharing? WE are still so new to this sharing/fighting bit that we are still learning and navigating the ropes.

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