The 5 W’s of A Cuppa Cosy

I wanted to take a quick moment today and touch base with myself, with you, and just lay out who I am (which most of you probably already know), what A Cuppa Cosy is/what I want to do, where, when, and most importantly WHY.

So…

Speier Family in Alexandria, VA

Who: If you’ve been around for al little while you know who I am. If you’re new, hi! I’m Mia, a wife, mom, homemaker, business owner, and employee. I am a lover of all things cosy, an avid reader, a serious tea drinker and a semi adventurer. There are a few things I am passionate about (aside from my family) and those things are: mental and physical health, travel and being 100% in every aspect of your life. I don’t mince words, I wont BS you, and will always be 100% authentic.

What: This is a place for me to share my life, my stories, my everyday to help you not feel so alone. A feeling of meeting up with a good friend a chatting over a cup of tea/coffee. Someone that you feel like you are right in the trenches of life with in a place where not everything is perfectly curated with all the sunshine and daisies. A place that is true to every aspect of life, the good and the bad. I want to create a community of women and moms who are just experiencing life together.

Where: Well, I’ve got this blog which will feature 2 posts a week, along with a Facebook Page (HERE) and Instagram Page (HERE) for everyday day glimpses. I will also have a Facebook Group for the community and all of us to share day to day, but that is currently in development. Like & Follow the blog and social media and check back for updates on the Facebook Group!

When: Blog Posts will be posted on Mondays and Wednesdays- Mondays being more of a recap/spontaneous style, Wednesdays being more of a tip or learning post.

Why: I see a lot of either end of the spectrum- the perfectly coiffed, always perfect, ready to go mom and family OR the over the top hot mess, don’t care mom. I have not seen a place where there is a middle ground. Where there is a place that is both good and bad and in a way that is completely real and authentic. I didn’t see a view of just a real woman who is going through real life- with all of it’s ups and downs.

I want to help women and moms by sharing my story/life and giving them a real community to share, learn, and uplift so they can be their best selves in their own lives (all while being as cosy as possible 🙂 ).

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A Lesson Well Learned…A Little Recap

I feel like I’ve had those back to back weeks where you just don’t catch a break. The first week was just a rough week. Everything that could go wrong went wrong and we all just tried to hold on to the ride. This past week, I felt like I was a hamster on a wheel; never stopping and never getting anywhere. I had SO MUCH that I was trying to accomplish. So many thoughts and ideas constantly going through my head, that it felt like if I didn’t get them out right then and there, they would disappear into the great unknown of my brain.

Basically, rough week followed by insane week. I’ll let you be the judge as to which type of week is worse.

It was around Wednesday or so that I realized I didn’t even know how I was spending my time. I was so far on the wheel, that I couldn’t truly account for where my time I had gone. Sure, I know what hours and work I had accomplished for my part time work, but beyond that- no idea. I was head deep in everything else that I needed to do, needed to get done, and needed to get out of my head that I hadn’t even taken two seconds to look outside. IMG_0491

It was a beautiful day on Wednesday. A perfect day some would say (seeing how the weather turned bad quickly, others may say it was a “calm before the storm”). The sun was bright, not many clouds in sight and whats more, it was the perfect temperature. I sat at our dining room table just stunned for a moment as the realization of what was going on hit me.

I needed to get off that wheel and get off it fast. I decided that lunchtime on that beautiful day would be spent outside, getting some rays (and Vitamin D!) and just overall reveling in what was a perfect little break. Not only did I come back in feeling much more refreshed and ready to get back into the thick of things, but I got some much needed free time with my children. Such freedom is found when you can just galavant across the backyard.

To top off my insane week even further, at some point in the past week my youngest started developing more of that “big boy” look to him. He is still young and is still a baby, but he just started looking and doing things that just made my mommy heart cry out- my little baby is starting to grow up. I didn’t even know when that had started, just a week ago he was still wanting to snuggle and sleep on my chest (ok, ok, he still does some of that) and now here he is, standing against furniture, babbling, scooting all over the place, and just overall acting and starting to look like a little boy rather than a baby.

It took these two “shocks” to my system to remind myself of a couple things.

One, I am never going to get these times back. My children are not always going to want to just run around with mommy in the backyard. They aren’t always going to find that little joy in the birds flying overhead or the trees swaying in an absolutely ridiculous windstorm.

Two, anything that falls with number one goes ahead of ANYTHING else. My little family is above anything else. It is so easy to get caught up in everything else that is going on and trying to get things done and it can be so hard to see that you are losing sight of what is truly important until you have a moment like I did on Wednesday.

We’ve had a relatively easy weekend, getting back from the insanity of the week and re grounding ourselves into our little family and just focusing on each other.

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Five Tips to Get Out of a Bad Mood/Day

Let’s face it, we all have those bad or “in a funk” days. The days that kind of end up like this:

IMG_0423
fun fact- this is a real shot from a real life in a funk day

This is life and even if you are living a fulfilled life, you still have these kinds of days. The days where it just starts off on the wrong foot and seems to go downhill fast OR maybe it starts off well, but just descends into chaos. Recently for me it just seemed to be a mess in all facets (see weekly recap post HERE). I am not a person who likes to live or dwell in those bad day or funks – really who does?- so I’ve created a list of tips for erasing those bad feelings and getting back into a good head space.

  1. Stop what you are doing. Whether or not what you are doing is the cause of your frustration or bad mood, continuing to do whatever you are doing will be a wasted effort. Once you are in a bad mood your productivity decreases, your enjoyment/fulfillment decreases, and you may end up creating more anger/frustration and ultimately more work for yourself by continuing. Take a break from what you are doing and physically leave the space that you are in. This is a very important step to getting out of this bad head space that you are in. Possibly the most important step.
  2. Get outside. This step kind of co insides with the next one, but I find that a lot of times that just getting out of the house (or office), breathing in some fresh air and soaking up a little sun will start to turn things around. We are not meant to be indoor creatures and just getting a little daylight, getting some fresh air, and being away from whatever physical space you were in may be the remedy for you.
  3. Do some sort of physical activity. The top of this list would be to go and take a walk outside. Not only does just simply getting outside into daylight and fresh air immensely help a bad mood or funk, but the physical exercise of a walk will stimulate your body and senses. When you come back you will feel refreshed and start to feel a bit better and more collected. If you cannot get outside, simply walking around your home or doing a couple of quick full body stretches/quick yoga routine in a sun/day lit part of your home will do the same trick.
  4. Make yourself a cup of tea or coffee. The simple act of making yourself a cuppa combined with taking a few minutes to yourself to enjoy it will do wonders for yourself. Not only will this simple act turn things around, but the cup of tea or coffee will do a lot more for your mood than you would think. Drinking a cup of tea or coffee almost forces you to stop for a minute. It makes you take that step back, breathe and really just savor the flavor of your drink. Some people would equate this to drinking a glass of wine, I would shy away from that. Depending on what you are doing prior to this bad mood or your responsibilities, this a) may not be a possibility, but b) it doesn’t always provide the same mood booster as a cup of tea. Ultimately though you know what will work best for you.
  5. Do one thing for yourself. This is beyond what you’ve done in the previous steps. Sometimes we just need that one extra thing to set us up for a true good mood. This could be watching a couple videos, taking a little bit of time to goof around, having an impromptu dance party, reading a bit of a book, whatever it is that you can do to have a little treat for yourself. Make this be a separate action from the previous steps so you can fully just enjoy a little bit of time.

By doing those 5 little tricks when I am having a rough day, I find that my mood lifts and while I still may need to go back and deal with whatever frustrated me or whatever was wrong in the first place, I can do so in a better, clearer head space than before.

I hope these tips help you out and I would love to hear what your tips are as well! Leave me a comment down below!

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Coming Back from “Hot Mess-Ville”

It was a rough week. To be brutally honest, I had one of those weeks where by the end of it, you are just grateful to have gotten yourself, your husband, and your children through the week unscathed. I don’t even know if I could tell you what happened to set the week off, or how we got to such a rough spot, all I know was that somewhere along the way I had boarded the express train to Hot Mess-ville.

Normally I can still keep my head up if it is just one person in our family having a rough week. I can up the care that that person receives and adjust everything else as needed. But when everyone is just in that rough spot, it makes it ten times harder.

Let’s see…

Our oldest was just having an “off” week. There isn’t anything going on with him aside from an exacerbation of the normal 2 year old problems. It seemed like everything was magnified and even the littlest things became a major temper tantrum. We did a lot of bedroom cool downs, mom/dad snuggles, and just lay and cries with him. The combination of him being such a stubborn independent child, with a very full, strong willed personality makes for some good and some bad situations. We are still trying to learn what works best for him and how to teach him.

Our youngest was having a nice amount of his own issues as well. He’s getting those two top teeth and he is an angry teether (our oldest was quite mild with teething until his canines and molars). We had a lot of fussing, A LOT of snuggling, but not a lot of day time napping. I know I shouldn’t complain because he is an excellent night time sleeper, but daytime naps play such an integral role for both of the children and when they are cut back in time or don’t happen it makes for a tough rest of the day.

On top of that, both boys are going through growth spurts. It seemed like I was trying to feed double our household. I know this is going to be a situation we frequently encounter as they are boys and will continue to consume more food than I thought possible (our oldest had 2.5 pancakes for breakfast one morning?!) for the rest of their lives. At times it seemed that we would never get a reprieve from the crying.

With all of that going on, I was dealing with a come and go migraine all week long and was overall just feeling all out of sorts. I felt like I wasn’t accomplishing anything when it came to day to day tasks (although I was) and there were a couple moments over the week that I just ended up “throwing in the towel”. My husband was trying to sort out what his new assignment and responsibilities would be.

Somehow though, we’ve all made it through the week and it’s time to put this bad one behind us as we step into a new week. Things seem to already be looking up as I am writing this as we’ve got the grocery shopping done for the week (cheaper than last week!) and I have a bit of free time to just relax before getting dinner ready. I fully plan on enjoying my cup of tea and getting a little reading done while the kids (actually) nap! Ah such bliss after a rough week.

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What Motivates Me

*Please note- I don’t “do it all”. Most days I do what I can and simply let the rest go. Some days I don’t even end up getting that far. I’ve been on both sides and while I don’t have all of my $h** together, I try to at least do what I can do. This post is talking about what motivates me to do what I CAN do rather than how I “do it all”. *

A lot of times I get asked- “How do I do it?”. Balancing life, work, children, a home, etc is a lot. How do you manage? To start with, I don’t always, BUT if we want to go down that road…

While that is an excellent question and a good topic to talk on in the future; the more important question that should be asked is WHY do I do it? Why get up so early? Why keep everything tidy? Why get yourself ready every morning, even if you are not leaving the house? WHY????

To answer this question, you must look at one thing:

WHAT MOTIVATES YOU? What drives YOU to do what you do? EVERYONE has a lot going on in their lives and a balancing act is essential to anyone’s life. What is different for each person is not how that person does it, but why. Pinpointing this fact will help keep everything in perspective when you are trying to balance things (it may even end up helping you cut down some things that you do that aren’t “necessary” to your own balancing act).

For me,

  • I do it for my kids who deserve a mother who is at her best both mentally and physically.
  • I do it for my husband who works so hard, with long hours everyday, and doesn’t need to come home to a dirty home and whole bunch of other tasks. * Not to say that he doesn’t do anything at home- he helps out A LOT, but if I can take some of that strain off of him, I will.
  • Most importantly, I do it for myself. In order for me to be at my best and to take care of everyone I need to take care of myself. There are things that I like to do and get done throughout the day to keep both myself and my family running smoothly.

When you think about what motivates you, the why you do it suddenly becomes clear.

Why, you may still ask? I do what I do because I want to be at my personal best to be the best for myself and my family (and by extension my friends, my work, my business).

Being able to see my husband able to come home and simply relax after a long day, or my children having free reign of a clean house, or for me being able to sink into my chair with a book and a cup of tea- everything else becomes totally worth it.

It also helps me keep things into perspective with my own balancing act and really helps on those days when I feel like I don’t have anything “together”.

So, before you ask Why, think What Motivates You?

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Real Talk: Long Term Love

I know, I know…talking about love on Valentines Day- cheesy. Bare with me for a minute though 🙂 Love is a perfect real talk topic and when better to talk about it than the most highly “publicized” day devoted to love. *I will clarify that we do not actually do anything for Valentines Day in our relationship for various reasons*

Speier Family in Alexandria, VA

Maybe you picture love as it is portrayed in most movies- all sorts of beautiful romantic grand gestures; always being completely and utterly smitten. Maybe you picture moments of intense passion – an intense disagreement ending in a passionate “embrace”. In both scenarios ultimately everything is absolutely and completely perfect, with love being completely romantic and…well…love.

While both of those visions may occur during your relationship, there will also be times of normal. Where you and your spouse are just doing life together. Riding the ups and downs together, weathering a storm or basking in a sunny glow. While you may not feel that all encompassing smitten feeling go away, there will be a point where it does subside a bit and life takes over. When that moment comes it, I’ve learned that two things are essential to keep that feeling fresh in your mind and heart:

  1. Don’t compare your partner to anyone else. COMPARISON IS THE THIEF OF HAPPINESS. You did not marry that perfect man in the movies (or TV shows) and there is a reason for that. As we all know, what we see in the movies and on TV is NOT always real and not the way life always unfolds. The individual that you have chosen to spend your life with has their own qualities and perfectness to them. There is a reason that you are with them. It’s true when they say, you don’t find the perfect person, but the person who is perfect for you. I will be the first to say that my husband IS super romantic, although not in ways that people (or I) expect or realize. I love him exactly as he is (and has been) and he is perfect for me in every way. I would not want a man that “seems” perfect, because to me that is not realistic.
  2. Take care of your relationship. It has been said time and again, relationships are like gardens. They need to be watered and taken care of in order to truly blossom and flourish. Sure, you may be working around conflicting crazy schedules and children and many other factors, but you’ve GOT TO take care of your relationship. There is always more that you can do to help, more that you can do to take care of your relationship. Find your “thing”, to keep coming back and connecting to your spouse. In our home, we do one night on the weekend where there are no phones, no books, no distractions. It is just us (and the kids- for at least a bit of the night). Starting off before the kids go to bed, we have an easy to make (or take out/order in) dinner, and some sort of movie (or tv show catch up) afterwards. At some point in all of this the kids go to bed and we curl up on our big couch to just take a bit of time for each other. This allows us to reconnect and take a little time for each other. We do also take a proper date night out every so often when it works out between kids and schedules as well as just getting in little snippets of time of just the two of us throughout the month. We tend to be more of the homebody couple and love to just have a relaxed evening in rather than going out. This is what works for us in our current season of life and you will need to find what will work for you and your spouse. It may also change throughout the phases of life.

When you stick to both of those things, your relationship will not only thrive, but you will have that same completely and utterly smitten feeling that you see portrayed on your screen. Not only will this feeling stay, but you and your spouse will thrive through all of the phases of life, good and bad.

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The First Month Has Ended…

IMG_8930So, January 2018 has come to an end. How was the first month for you? How is the year starting? If you made any resolutions have you stuck with them or have they already gone out the window?

If January was good to you- great! Now you’ve got to keep that momentum going. February is a hard month, but if you can channel all that momentum you had going at the beginning of January, you can power straight through February and right into March. Remember how you felt each time or day that you accomplished your goal and hold on to that feeling when you want to skip a day or slack off on whatever it is that you want to accomplish this year.

If January was not so good – that’s ok! February is a new month and a fresh start. Put everything that was bad (or not so good) about January behind you. Don’t hold onto that negative as you head into a new month. Set a new or revised intention to start February and work towards that. Just because January was not the best DOES NOT mean that 2018 is doomed or that you need to hold on to it. Start fresh.

For me, January was a good month. Definitely not the best month I’ve ever had, but it was a really good and positive moth. I said at the start of the year that I don’t set resolutions, however my intention has been going alright. I have been avoiding speaking negatively about people (although I have slipped up a time or two being honest) and I’ve already accomplished so so much. I’m really positive that 2018 is going to a really good year all around.

For February I am looking forward to not only continuing with what I’ve been accomplishing, but expanding my intentions to include some more bits with A Cuppa Cosy. I am going to be taking some time to create a path and full vision for what I want A Cuppa Cosy to really be. I’m excited to share with you along the way!

Until Next Time

#33537 Mia Speier SL final

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10 Facts About Me

Hey everyone! I’m not normally good at these types of things (the whole state one interesting fact about yourself type of thing), but I figured that this was a good way for you to not only get me, but find out some new things and me to learn about you! I am going to list 10 Facts about me starting with some basic obvious ones and then throwing in some not so obvious ones, and then I want to hear something about you! Leave me a comment with some fact about yourself at the end.

Speier Family in Alexandria, VA10 Facts:

  1. I am a wife to a wonderful, hard working, supportive man and a mom to two little boys. They are my world.
  2. I work part time in an administrative position and I own my own business (The Cosy Book Shoppe).
  3. I am an avid reader and tea drinker. I would rather spend time with a good cup of tea and a book than anything else (aside from my family of course).
  4. I LOVE Penguins. They are my favorite animal followed closely by dolphins.
  5. I collect Mugs. A lot of mugs. So many that every few months I go through and clean them out. They all get used on a regular basis.
  6. I am somewhat old fashioned. I miss the days of no (or limited) technology.
  7. Going off of #6, I have a somewhat old fashioned marriage. Not only is it perfect for us, but I am proud of that. I’ll talk about it later on in another post (maybe).
  8. I try to live and document every moment, yet still be present in those moments. I am constantly taking pictures and videos. That may seem paradoxical, but it works out really well. I love not only being able to be in that moment, but also able to look back at it later on.
  9. I’m a big believer in what I call daylight fuel. I believe that having natural light and fresh air around you, your home, your office, wherever is such a boost. It is a mood booster, a productivity booster, and is just overall so beneficial beyond just the physical benefits.
  10. I’m a big believer in finding (and then following) your passion. Once you have found your passion I firmly believe that finding out how to take your passion and turn it into your life and career.

So, those are 10 Facts About Me! Now, let me know a fact about yourself! Drop a comment below 🙂

Until Next Time

#33537 Mia Speier SL final

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Real Talk: Self Worth

Hello, hello! I am kicking off a new series today that I am calling Real Talk. What is real talk? You know when you go to coffee or speak with your close friends about all sorts of topics? Where you have a good laugh or when you have a serious conversation all over a cuppa tea or really any cup of something yummy. That is what I intend for real talk. A casual chat on a different topic once a month. Some of them will be tip posts, some will be personal experiences with the topics, and some will be a combination of both. I want all of them to be a discussion opportunity.

Today I want to talk about Self Worth. To me, self worth is different from self esteem or self confidence, although it goes along the same train of thought. Self Confidence and Self Esteem start with Self Worth. Self Worth is the value that you know of yourself. That you give yourself. Knowing what you have to offer is extremely important and something that only you can determine. Here’s the problem- you are always worth more than you think or feel you are. I promise you that. So, determine your worth in your own mind and then double that (at least).

The most important thing to remember with Self Worth is that NO ONE else determines YOUR self worth. YOU know what YOU can do, what YOU bring to the table, and YOU know that YOU are doing YOU’RE best (unless you’re not and then that is a totally different conversation).

When you keep those things in mind, you should not have a problem. Anyone can try and question that worth or have a problem seeing that, but you know what you’re worth and what you bring. I came across a quote recently that I felt was perfect to repeat:

“Your value isn’t going to decrease simply because someone can’t see it”

When you feel like you’re worth is being questioned by someone else, do not let that make you question yourself. Remember, NO ONE can tell YOU what YOU are worth. That is something that you decide and it doesn’t just change on a whim. It is one of the hardest conflicts because feelings come into play and things can quickly spiral downward. To stop that from happening, Repeat the following: NO ONE determines my worth. NO ONE can dictate what I am worth in any situation.

What are your thoughts? Do you feel like you have had your self worth questioned? What do YOU do when you feel this way?

Till Next Time…#33537 Mia Speier SL final

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Planning in 2018

I’m a paper and pen kinda gal. I firmly believe in writing down goals, plans, to do’s and believe that it helps organize not only your life, but your mind. Once it’s written down, you are more than likely not only going to get whatever it is done, but you’ll feel better just by writing whatever it is down. I am not someone who really uses my phone as a main calendar, but rather as a back up system. I like to be able to disconnect and disengage from technology and by using a physical planner and journal, just makes it that much easier.

So, what am I using for this year? Excellent question. I tend to switch things up throughout the year, but one of my intentions last year was to stick through one single planner. This year I want to carry through with that same intention. I spent the better portion of the year in a bullet journal and considered that intention a success. While I love the bullet journal and think that it is great, this year I have decided to go back to a pre filled planner. At this point I really would like the bare bones of my planner already filled in and I can just write in my specifics.

IMG_7327This year I have picked out a Blue Sky and Day Designer collaboration planner from (big surprise) Target. I have used Day Designer planners before and I love them! I may actually end up going back to a full size Day Designer planner, but for now I have gotten this simple month and week layout going. I typically spend about 15 minutes or so Sunday Evening or Monday Morning mapping out my week and then about 5-10 minutes each morning with any specifics I want to mark down.

The other item that I have is my own personal journal. Once again, I am a firm believer in the paper and pen method and I write down 95% of everything. Some things I do not, but if something is bothering me or I’m having a rough time, I find that sitting down and writing it out helps so incredibly much. I try to write regularly and typically do about once a week (if not even more than that). It is just so helpful in getting things out of your head, off your plate, and a lot of times it helps me sort through my own thoughts.

This year I have a feeling I’ll be filling more than one journal, but I am starting with, yet another Target find, a Pink Light Design Notebook. It’s not what I typically go for, but I really liked it and I feel like it fit what I was hoping for for the beginning of my year.

So that is that! Those are the paper items I am using this year to help me stay on track for my year. Are you a pen and paper person? What are you using to keep organized this year?

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