2019 Halfway Check In

Somehow we are now halfway through 2019! Where has the year gone? Have you had any exciting things happen so far? Any goals completed? Any new goals created?

This morning I am going to be doing a little “check in” post. I am going to look at what I planned and wanted for my 2019 and see where I am personally at. I think June is a really fun month, but also a good time to just take a minute and reflect on where we are at in our year. How any of the goals we’ve set are going. I would encourage you to do the same and share in the comments! We can always use a little pick me up and accountability.

So, I shared a post at the start of January all about the things that I was “Looking Forward to in 2019”, you can read that post HERE. In this post I talked about my “phrase” and my “word” of the year. I didn’t share my smaller goals for the year, but I’ll share a couple of those in this post as well.

I think overall I’ve done pretty well at sticking with the intentions that I set for myself, achieving a good number of things throughout the first half of this year, but I’ve definitely put one goal off and have kind of fallen off track in a couple other spots. I’ll get more into that a little later on, we will focus on the good first. 🙂

So, something I wanted to focus a little bit more on this year on a larger scale was to just “Be Open”. Be open to new opportunities, be open to new friendships, new experiences, to whatever the year brings our way. I feel like I’ve really done this at this point in the year. I’ve tried to throw caution to the wind in some respects and I feel like it has really worked out in our favor (specifically when it comes to our traveling, and our day to day getting out). I said that I specifically wanted to “Keep an open mind to everything and kind of just run with it”. I’m a type A, planner kind of person and so just go with it is something that I am always working on. When we are doing these quick trips, just go with it is the perfect motto to have.

The smaller intention that went along with that was “You can’t plan everything”. I’ve really been working hard at this one. I get really…”uncomfortable” if I feel like things are chaotic (that’s just a nice way of saying I go a little bonkers if I feel like I don’t have things planned properly). If I feel like I haven’t gotten things planned and in just the right order. I wanted to just let go as that was really starting to affect different areas of my mental health. I wanted to get a little looser with schedules, a little looser with timelines, just loosen up with planning. Again, I feel like I’ve really excelled at this one. First off, being in a hotel means that routines and schedules (other than bedtime) just go out the window. We just get out of the hotel and whenever things happen they happen. Not to mention we’ve been doing so much go, go , go travel that I’ve really just had to loosen all the reigns on planning. It’s been so FREEING.

I will say- at the beginning of the year I struggled a little bit. At the end of 2018 I resigned my job and for the first time in my adult life I was aimless in my time. I didn’t have a job that I had to do for so many hours a day. I was able to do what I wanted with my time and my kids. We weren’t tied down to a schedule. And that was HARD to adjust to in a way. On top of that we went from my In-Laws and vacation to a hotel. The things that I would normally do throughout the day, handling the home, tidying, writing, were now in limbo. I could write, but cleaning and everything else that I would normally do was nonexistent. I’m going to be the weird one and say that I actually quite like housework, so this was an adjustment in itself. I ended up figuring out something that worked for me, but it’ll be changing again here shortly (yay!!).

Moving forward with those two intentions I am going to try and come up with a perfect “marriage” that works for me. The ratio of rigid to flow, planning to loose, and see if I can’t find a way to bring a little bit of planning and routines (beyond bedtime) back into our lives. To become a little bit more intentional with my days that we aren’t traveling.

Now, for my word of 2019 I chose “Explore” and I feel like I’m really living that word. We’ve gone around so much just in the short months we’ve been in Germany, not just in our own little community but around Germany and Europe as well. We have plans for just about every long weekend for the rest of this year, as well as our two extended leave periods this year.

When I originally picked this word, I knew that we would be doing a lot of traveling, but I really wanted to focus on exploring with just me and the boys. We didn’t “get out” as much as I had hoped in the previous couple years and with our move I didn’t want to just get back into that “sit at home” type of living. Our boys love exploring and being outside and I want to nurture that love. This meant that I had to be comfortable leaving and going to bigger area’s with just myself and the kids. I have successfully done one market with just me and the boys and have plans for a couple other spots in the coming months to do for us. We also get out and do long walks at least once or twice a week, and one trip to the local town as well. It’s been actually really easy to do, and we’ve really enjoyed “mommy and son trips”.

Some of the other personal goals that I set for myself are one’s that I set quietly every year, eating clean and healthy options, staying in a positive mindset and spreading that positivity, not being judgmental of others and not getting caught up in the petty little problems/drama. I think I’ve done pretty well with all of those but one…

Junk food. Junk food has really crept back in to our lives and it’s not something that I am happy about. I’ve prided myself the past year or two on eating healthy options, cutting out a lot of processed food and junk food, but lately it’s found a place back in our hotel. I could give excuse after excuse of why, but honestly that’s not important. We don’t eat a lot of it, but I feel like we are at the cusp of eating more of it than we should. Chips, candy, sweets, it all needs to be taken back a couple of notches. I am already in a mindset of tailing it back and we’ve already put this in practice as of June 1, but to be completely transparent I wanted to share that.

The other goal that I had that I didn’t share is the goal of starting a podcast this year. Unfortunately, I have made the decision to postpone this goal for a little while longer. I don’t think that it will be a feasible option this year and I also don’t know that I can take on another project at this time. It’s ok to postpone or stop a goal that is doing something negative for you or is just not a possibility for you at that time. Sometimes things don’t work out and that’s ok.

So that is my look at 2019 so far. How is your year going? How are those goals going?

 

 

Round The Kettle Ep 15 – The Serious Conversations

I had a conversation with a friend this week talking about a couple of things that I haven’t really been able to talk about with friends before. We covered a variety of topics and it was kind of refreshing to just talk with someone else about different topics that have been circling in my head. I’ll be honest- while I haven’t been burrowing into my books (my version of burying your head in the sand), I have definitely avoided certain conversations…

You know the ones…

Politics, Religion, Current Events.

It feels like nowadays if you want to make/keep/cherish a friendship you shy away from these subjects.

Maybe that’s an exaggeration. Maybe our friendships should mean more than the things we disagree on, but I’ve seen so many relationships dissolve over these types of conversations. All out break up? Maybe a smidge dramatic. A slow backing away though? Definitely.

But you know what? I want to have these conversations. I want to hear what others think. I want to learn about others viewpoint, how they learned, what they believe. I WANT TO UNDERSTAND. I want to have these conversations without risking losing a friendship over a differing opinion.

I like to think of myself as an open minded individual. I also like to think of myself who likes to talk deep, go deep in the conversations, to talk about the big issues. When I have a conversation with someone where we disagree, I almost enjoy that more than when we agree on everything. It gives me a chance to learn, to understand something in a different light, to see what has us thinking differently. And sometimes through these conversations, my mind will shift. I may even start to see things differently myself, or see them even more in what I originally thought. Either way, these conversations are GREAT to have.

That is if the other person is willing to be open minded and ready to listen.

You could argue, “Mia, you aren’t choosing your friends wisely if you can’t have these types of conversations without risking friendships”. I don’t know that I necessarily agree with that. I feel like there are different types of friendships and I can have these conversations with some and not with others. That’s ok and I feel like that is pretty normal.

With all of that being said…

Do you know this feeling? Have you ever felt this way? If you have, I’m curious how you handle it? Do you have certain people that you have these conversations with? Do you get really active in the internet world having these conversations?

I’m not going to be bringing this stuff to the blog or anything like that. You will start to see some posts geared towards things that I am passionate about, but haven’t talked a lot about (I’ve mentioned all these things at some point though). BUT I won’t be straying far from what I’ve already been doing. This is just something I’ve been thinking about this past week.

Let’s Talk About Insecurities : A Two Part Challenge Pt 2

Last week I posted about my insecurities. I shared what I thought insecurities were, as well as what my own insecurities are. I encouraged you to share your own insecurities. Today, I want to talk about overcoming, or dealing with, those insecurities.

If you would like to recap the Challenge post, you can do so HERE.

I’ve always been pretty open about when I’m feeling low, or when I’m struggling with my insecurities. I feel like that is the best way to deal with those feelings, not in a way for people to comment building you up or shower you will compliments, but in that you can hear from others who may have the same insecurities. Or those who have had those insecurities and have found a way to work through them.

I don’t have the answer of how to overcome them, because I don’t know that is necessarily a “right” way to do it. I feel like we are always going to have moments of insecurity. We are all going to stumble at a time, have that little voice whispering in the back of our head. Rather than “overcoming” the insecurity, we need to find a way forward. A way of saying yea that isn’t my favorite feature or my favorite feeling, but I am still over here doing my thing, feeling great, living my life to it’s fullest.

Two of my biggest insecurities, my white legs and my hips/belly. For a long time I wouldn’t wear certain clothes because I was worried about it and actually for a long time I’ve gotten comments about my legs being so white. This may sound silly and you may be wondering why I don’t go do a fake tan or something along those lines- believe me I’ve tried. And to be honest, I’ve reached a point that I really just don’t care. It wasn’t overnight and it wasn’t something quick. It was just a process of wondering why I cared so much over my legs.

Am I still insecure about them at times? Sure, but the more that I put “my legs” on display, the more I wore dresses, shorts, and such, the better I started to feel.

And I honestly think that is how we have to handle our insecurities. We have to confront them head on, show the bits that we are worried about, confront the things that we are unsure of, and the more we do that, the better we start to feel. We have to talk about what we are insecure about, sharing it already lessens some of that fear, and then figure out what we can do to become more comfortable with our insecurities.

For me, that means wearing dresses/skirts/shorts, putting my hair up in a bun more, and being a little bit freer about my hips. I do love my body and I can say right now I’ve never felt better in my own skin. I wear what I love and feel good in, whether I may feel a little more uncomfortable or not. After an hour or so I’m so wrapped up in whatever we are doing that how I look starts to fade away.

It also means jumping headfirst into things that I worry about. If there is a post that I worry about that typically mean that I am on the right track and need to simply hit post. In fact, if there is a post that I am insecure or worried about, I will typically write it and then schedule for a date in the future. By scheduling it I am less likely to go back in and remove it and it is also just not sitting on my desktop with me worrying about it. I just do it and get it done and then try my hardest not to think about it.

So, what can you do to put your insecurity out there? To get more comfortable about area’s that you are uncomfortable with? Leave a comment below to tell me what you will do to answer the Insecurity Challenge.

Let’s Talk Insecurities – A Two Part Challenge : Part 1

Insecurity. We all deal with it. Insecurities. We all have them. Some of us deal with more insecurities than others. They manifest in different area’s of our lives, in different ways, and we all react to them and deal with them differently. I’m a fairly confident and self assured person and I have plenty of them. I know many others deal with them as well. I want to talk about insecurities, delve into them a little- share what my insecurities are and how I deal with them.

I’m thinking this is going to be a two part post and I hope that you will come along on this and participate as well. I think we can all learn from each other, in coping, in feeling better about ourselves and I think even just hearing that someone deals with the same insecurity helps.

This is the first part.

Insecurities is one of those things that we either talk about or don’t talk about. Sometimes giving a voice, words, saying our fears out loud can help. Sometimes it doesn’t. In this first part we are going to talk about our insecurities. I am going to share the parts of myself, both physical and non, that I am insecure about.

Let me be clear- I do not want compliments, I do not want to hear about how it’s silly or anything like that. I am not putting this out there to ask for compliments. I am putting this out there to work on dealing with the insecurity itself. To help others who may be experiencing the same thing or have some of the same insecurities. To be in a space where others can open up and share their insecurities as well in a safe and productive way.

So, let’s get down to the hard part, shall we?

Physical Insecurity

I think the hardest insecurities to deal with can be the one’s concerning our bodies. Sure, we can fix some of them, but some are just DNA or beyond our control and there isn’t much we can do with them. They also seem to be the one’s that we, as a society, fixate on (which is a topic for a whole separate post). In a physical sense I am insecure about my eyebrows (random, I know), my teeth, my really white legs that do not hold a tan (at all, seriously), and my hips/belly area. When I gain weight, I gain it in my hips and belly. One other thing that I do get a little self conscious about (more so than an actual insecurity) is the fact that I am petite. Since I am petite, people often feel like it is more “acceptable” to comment on my body and while none of it is bad, it’s still isn’t right and it can make me a bit insecure at times.

Other Insecurities

Insecurity is not just physical, you can feel a lack of confidence in other area’s as well. For example, I am uncertain at times if I am doing the right thing for my children. Questioning whether are not I am being a good mom. Whether are not I am being to like my parents, and not better.  I am uncertain at times if I am doing the best thing for myself and my family. I face self doubt from time to time , probably more than I have ever admitted to before, where my blogging/social media and sharing is concerned.

I would like to hear about your insecurities (if you are up to sharing, you do not have to if you do not want to). I feel like just talking about the things that we are insecure about that already can take some of the weight off of our shoulders. The next part of this challenge will be to figure how to work through the insecurities, how to push them aside, or recognize when we are letting them control our everyday.

Round the Kettle Ep 14 : June Already?!

Happy June!!! How is it June already? Where has this year gone?! I feel like this year is flying by and I’m not ready to be halfway through the year. Are you? Is it flying by for you as well?

I feel like June can be a bit of a breathe of fresh air. The weather is turning warmer (except this year some folks are getting that warm weather in May- not us), the days get much longer, and we all break free of our Winter and Spring Showers hibernation. The days are longer, the clothes are shorter, and the smiles are bigger.

This year June is shaping up to be no different. We finally seem to be at the start of a warm stretch of weather (our first without AC, wish us all the luck and good vibes you can!), we are going to be having a month of only day trips after back to back months of traveling (not complaining about any of that!), and the month ends with us moving out of the hotel and into a…house!

We are in the final hotel stretch and we’ve seen the house that we will be moving into. It is a really nice option with a very large fenced in back yard and we will be arriving just in time for that hot weather, sending the boys out to play time of year. We are really looking forward to being in a home, getting all of our things, and setting up a new house. So, even though we won’t be doing any of the long weekend travelling, we will be doing a couple day trips, planning for our big July trip (more on that later), and moving! An exciting month ahead for us.

What does your June look like? Is it a homebody month or an exciting travel filled one? Let me know down below!

I’ve been spending a good chunk of the past week at my computer, planning and writing for different posts and ideas I’ve got for the upcoming months. I am trying to do some goal setting, big dream planning.

I find myself wanting to DO MORE. To expand a little bit on my little corner and to start reaching out for volunteering, for making an impact in others, for just being something for someone else. There have been certain area’s that my heart has always felt that it needed to be and I am finding that I now have the time to dedicate to that. I’m trying to figure out how to move forward and starting doing some of things that I’ve been wanting to do.

Do you volunteer? Where do you volunteer at? Do you know that feeling of wanting to do more?

And, honestly, I think that is really all I have to say for this weeks Round the Kettle. I am a little tired/burnt out from the back to back trips and then all of the writing following that up. I am looking forward to a little relaxation and rest this weekend, as well as some reading, tea drinking, and family time (as always). Hope you’re having a wonderful weekend!

Motherhood and You

Motherhood is all consuming, a never-ending cycle of care, but don’t let it consume you. Don’t simply become “mom”, don’t lose yourself, who you are, in caring for your children. Don’t cling to them as they start to grow up and grow away. Being a mom may be the most important hat you wear, or title you receive, (however you want to think of that), but it is not solely who/what you are.

All too often, starting almost immediately after birth, we become consumed by being a mom. By taking care of a little human being that depends solely on us for EVERYTHING (daunting, so daunting), by trying to be everything for this little being, and all too often we lose who we are in the process. We become so wrapped up in that “mom” role that we don’t take care of ourselves (a post for another day), we don’t take care of our significant other, we don’t take care of our friendships.

These things start to fall to the wayside, and it isn’t until we are a couple years in (or longer for some) that we realize that we don’t know who we are anymore. We have become a mom, the greatest blessing of all, but we’ve lost who we are in the process.

This is a normal thing that just about everyone experiences to varying levels. That isn’t to say that we can’t get back to who we are, or avoid this entirely, I’m just saying that this is a normal thing to go through. In fact, even the most prepared parents (the ones who swear that parenthood won’t change them) go through a level of this. It’s a natural instinct when we have a child that our world changes to revolve around this baby and it’s a very sweet time in our lives (postpartum depression/anxiety/and other issues aside). That doesn’t mean that it lasts forever. Our children will grow, they will mature, they will become independent and need us as parents less and less. That change is why it is important not to lose who you are when you become a parent.

How do we handle this? How do we allow motherhood/parenthood to take over our lives, and still maintain who we are?

Little things. What do you like to do in your free time? What did you like to do before you became a parent to relax?

Did you like to exercise? Find a gym that has childcare. Have your significant other take over the parenting duties for a few hours while you hit up a workout.

Did you like to read, write, watch TV, YouTube, etc.? Great! Naptime and after Bedtime are great opportunities to do these! (In fact, I squeeze a lot of my reading time during naptime and after the kids go to bed).

Did you like to shop or explore new areas? Perfect, you can do that with baby OR if you want baby free time, have your significant other or family watch the baby while you get a little break.

The main takeaway from this is not to have time away from your child, although that is needed too, but to find time within your day to do what works for YOU. What makes YOU happy. So much of motherhood is spent tending to others (and not just your own children, being a mom turns you into everyone’s mom) and it is easy to lose ourselves in that. So so easy to be swept away taking care of everyone and everything else.

If that is what fills you up and makes you happy, perfect! Do more of that. BUT don’t forget to take a little breath for yourself.

Big things. Find time for you and your significant other to have a little time together at the very least once a month. Take care of that relationship or it will fall to the wayside. Check in with each other throughout the day, send that sweet little text. Have a moment while the baby is napping. Hire a babysitter when baby is a little older to get much needed date nights in (no matter what those actually look like).

Everyone says that one day your children will go up and leave and then what will be left is you and your significant other. This is true, but what is more important is the example that you are setting for your children. From the get-go, our children learn from us. They see what a stable relationship and family looks like from us, so water your own marriage and your children will see how to water their own (when that time comes).

Make sure that you and your spouse are on the same page as situations arise so that you can be a cohesive unit. Parenthood can help your marriage thrive and grow into new heights, or it can fall to the wayside. More than likely it will ebb and flow between both (again, completely natural), but the continual watering will help everything stay on a balance to continue to go towards success and happiness.

Ultimately, motherhood is a phase of life. For those of us who are mom’s (in any form) it is an all-encompassing blessing. It never ends and takes a lot of who we are. BUT it doesn’t have to be solely who we are. We were somebody before we were “mom” and while being mom takes precedence, don’t say goodbye to who you are. She is still there, and she should be able to shine as well.

Round the Kettle Ep 13: All Over the Board with Updates and Chats

Good afternoon and Happy Sunday! I’m curious…are you having a productive get all the things done Sunday or a laid back/full of adventure Sunday Fun day? I am currently writing this post on a Wednesday (no shame in my prep game) as we are out of town…or rather driving back from out of town on this Sunday. BUT, I balance back and forth between the two. I definitely appreciate a really productive, prep for the week Sunday, but there is also something to be said about spending it outside, with family, doing something absolutely crazy or fun.

Tell me below which camp you fall into, Productive Sunday or Funday Sunday…

For us, we’ve spent this past weekend exploring somewhere new, somewhere exciting, and just getting away for a little while. We will be doing the same next weekend, going somewhere new and exploring. We’ve done a lot of traveling just in the few months that we’ve been here, but things are going to start settling down a little bit more as we head into Autumn. My husbands schedule will once again start to pick up, we will be in our home/be a little more settled, and the long weekends away will go down to probably just once a month, which honestly is more than we could have even asked for!

So, the second half of May is going to be an exciting travel filled one, so to balance that out we are going to be spending June with a couple of day trips (maybe an overnight one, not sure), but mostly close to home as we will be getting our home towards the end of the month! You read that right, we are going to FINALLY be moving out of the hotel and into a house the end of June. We’ve been jumping for joy as we are beyond ready to have our own home and all of our household goods. It’s been an experience living in a one bedroom hotel room and has given me a whole new respect for families that have to live in cramped quarters on a regular basis (it’s also reminded me just how blessed we are).

I want to share one more little tidbit, food for thought type of deal, within this Round the Kettle post. This past week I worked with a photographer to get some new professional photos done for the blog/social media/etc. and we had quite the conversations while we were shooting. First off, such a fun fun session (I can’t wait to see the final photo’s – keep an eye out as they start to hit Social Media)! We just clicked on so many levels and it was nice to chat with someone that just…”got me”. If that makes sense? She was super cool and laidback and we definitely plan on getting together another time. Friends are everywhere, just waiting to be met. BUT all that aside (I’m getting off topic over here), we talked about a couple things that I want to mention, but will probably do full blog posts on another day for.

The first being the topic of being introverted vs. extroverted and how that comes across. A lot of times people are quite surprised to hear that I am very introverted because I will socialize, I will talk with others, I enjoy hanging out with friends, etc. What you don’t typically see from me is that after that, after I’ve hung out with friends or anything social/noisy/talking/etc. I have to come back home and have some quiet time to myself. I have to be able to recharge myself in my own home on my own terms. THAT is what introversion is. It is all about how you get drained and how you recharge.

This is also something that I was briefly speaking about with another mom at our little playgroup at it really applies in parenting and intimate relationships. It actually leads to quite an interesting conversation with others as well, so…

Tell me, are you introverted or extroverted?

And finally, the last thing was the idea of Self Confidence. We were talking about how we became much more confident in who we were and what the catalysts were for that. I definitely have a blog post on this coming (way beyond the little tidbit that I am going to leave here), but in the moment I just simply said, “I’ve got two kids, I don’t really have time to sit and worry about what others think of me”. While that is VERY TRUE, it is not the only reason I’ve become so much more confident over the past few years. I’ve kind of hit a point in my life where I recognize who I was, who I am, and who I want to be. I’ve realized that I’m not everyone’s “cup of tea” and I’m not going to make everyone happy. I’ve realized that that is OK. It doesn’t reflect poorly on me and you know what? Not everyone has to like me. Life isn’t a popularity contest. I’d much rather spend my time happy, in the moment with my husband and children, than worrying about what this person thinks or what that person said. Like I said, I’ll talk more on this on another post…

So, now that I’ve rambled on for approximately 874 words, I’d love to know what you’re up to on this Sunday afternoon! Leave me a comment down below 🙂