A Fresh Outlook pt 1: Healthy Eating

*Small disclaimer- I did use to have a very unhealthy relationship with food and eating. I am still recovering and dealing with that every day. You can read about that HERE. I feel comfortable talking about this as I am in a relatively good place (with only a few rough days) and this mind shift has really helped me. 

When my husband was a Drill Sergeant and had a crazy schedule, meals became whatever was quick, easy, and there wasn’t much thought put into them. We were often eating dinner late at night due to his hours (we always eat dinner together and I wasn’t changing that) and I was a big snacker throughout the day. It wasn’t until we moved that I was able to implement a real change in our eating. 

When we moved almost 2 1/2 years ago I decided that we were cutting out the processed crap. I was going to cut all of those box dinners and get back to cooking meals. My husbands schedule tamed down a lot, didn’t have so many crazy or odd hours, and we were able to start meal planning a little better. Changing dinner meals was the easiest with of our lives and we’ve never looked back to those pre boxed quick meals. I actually can’t believe we ate as many as they did as most aren’t super good in taste.

The process of cutting out the junk food was a much harder road to travel. I am a huge snacker and for me, the only way to cut junk food was to cut out most of the snacking. I started by eating a proper breakfast in the morning and then really trying to focus on eating when I was hungry, rather than when I was bored. I also started to try and look at what I was actually eating, rather than just reach for whatever. 

At this point, I’ve cut soda to one a week, plain water and hot tea during the day to drink, popcorn (my guilty pleasure) once a week, and no other chips or really candy. I eat 3 meals everyday, and then if I still feel like I need a little more I’ll reach either for a bar or some fruit. 

To say that I have felt a shift is putting it very mildly. I’m not being “cooky” when I say it was like coming out of a fog. It is absolutely insane to realize how much just eating chips, or having some candy, or even a single soda can really do to you. Not only does my body just feel so much better and healthier, but mentally it is a whole separate ballgame. I find that I am much more even keeled and I don’t constantly just feel yucky. 

I would say the moment that everything clicked was when I was a few weeks clear of chips and candy. I really just felt light and clear in my mindset. I felt like I was just in a better state across the board with my body, my mind, and my emotions. I was able to just do much more because I didn’t have the extra “junk” of junk food in my body. 

That was when it clicked in my head. What fuels our body? In a very literal sense what fuels our bodies is what we actually put in. A lot of how we feel physical and even emotionally can be related to what we are consuming. Our bodies need nourishment in a most basic sense and what you put in is what you will get out. 

This is not only something that I learned not only throughout recovery, but in just experiencing different things in life. What I eat is more than just what I eat. It relates not only to my body, but to my energy, my mood and just my overall health. 

When you look at the idea of food being your fuel and you look at the big picture of what you are putting into your system, you start to get a crystal clear perspective.

Just a few years ago I was eating junk food all the time. I had chips and cookies everyday and a soda almost as frequently. We were having pre made box dinners at dinnertime (mostly out of ease and quickness of preparation than anything else) and while it didn’t seem so bad at the time, looking back I see just how bad I felt.

Hindsight is 20/20-although at the time, I very much knew that I wasn’t the healthiest with my eating habits. At this point we are eating almost all home cooked meals (there are a couple of exceptions here and there) and it has made such a difference. In fact, I would say eating healthier has made more of a difference than the workouts I’ve done. The workouts are great and needed, but where it all begins is with what you are consuming. It’s not a hard change, it just requires a little more thought at the outset. Once you feel the difference, you won’t go back to any previous eating habits. 

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Hitting a Road Block

Like any other person, I have my moments. I have my days, sometimes even my weeks. No one’s life is always perfect and I DO NOT want to even begin to portray that. I have always said that the biggest thing that I strive for (in all aspects of my life) is honesty. Always authentic and always 100% honest in what I share. This is my real life and when I have a hard time I don’t want to sugarcoat that or fake those very real bits of life. Sharing those moments is hard, but I feel like it is so so important so that we don’t get caught up in the wave that can be portrayed everywhere you look of perfection.

Life is a roller coaster ride. Some points are really low. Sometimes you have quite a hill to climb to get out of those low moments. This past week was that low point. 

I am a person who thrives on organization almost across the board (fun fact, the only exception to this is when we go on vacation). I can “go with the flow” at times, but mostly I thrive on having a general/rough outline of what is going on. I thrive on writing down my to do list every morning and checking off each thing as I go along. I thrive when I have a plan of action and when I can move forward with that plan of action. It is something that can be such a positive and something that I have really worked to my benefit over my life. 

Now, you may be wondering how this can be a downfall. Being organized, able to create a plan of action and get s*** done is a positive, right?

Not always.

For me, I struggle when I get a wrench thrown into things. When my rough outline of a day gets messed up due to whatever happened. And sometimes, that wrench that can really just mess with my head. Depending on what happens and how much it effects (what I have in my head as) my rough outline will depend on what my reaction level is. 

This is so hard for me to admit because I work really hard to balance so many different things in my life. To balance them perfectly so that every part of my life, and myself, gets what it needs. I’ve touched before about how hard, almost impossible, it is and how at some points things are going to go to the wayside. I didn’t take my own advice this past week to just let one thing go so I could be successful all around. 

So, what happened to make this a low point? It almost seemed like just everything was set against the week. Computer issues, Internet issues, getting caught up after a vacation, getting sick, and then the kids getting sick. I think around Wednesday, my positive attitude started really slipping and then by Thursday it was completely gone. I had pretty much given up on the week come Thursday afternoon. 

Giving up that positive attitude and that attempt to get all the things handled may have been a really hard decision (for me personally), but it is what saved my weekend. I wallowed and just sat in that misery for all of Thursday. Sometimes that is exactly what is needed in order to get to the climb to get out of the low point. And honestly, I did feel a little bit better when Friday morning came around. 

I took the weekend to just relax and just be in the moment. Since I had “given up” on the week, I took all that extra time to snuggle with the kids, obsess over the Royal Wedding (although I was going to that regardless), and just enjoy the sensation of “letting go”. To remember the advice that I’ve said time and time again about taking time to not have to do everything. 

I’ve learned some hard lessons this past week. I’ve had some lessons re affirmed, some new lessons learned, and have just had a chance to remember what I really want from my everyday.

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Real Talk: Body Image

This is a rather sensitive topic for me, given my own issues, but I really want to talk about our body image. While we were on vacation, I was sitting outside in this little pair of short shorts and a tank top that I would have normally felt a little self conscious in. As I was sitting there, honestly marveling at the fact that I was once again in a clear headspace to wear what I was wearing (and not immediately freak out), I had a moment to just think. Think about body image, body positivity, confidence, etc. 

Let’s be completely honest, no matter how confident you are, how comfortable you are within your own skin, we all have those moments. Moments where we second guess how we look. Whether what we are wearing really compliments our body, or if it highlights that one area you feel can never get back to where it was. It happens to everyone, men & women, at any age. 

In fact, I challenge anyone to be able to say that they have been confident and comfortable in their own skin all their life. If you are, that is awesome! I am not. I have not been that many a time. 

The self criticism is hard to fight and I’m not going to sit hear and say, oh love your body the way it is. The fact of the matter is, we all have those moments and that’s OK! I feel like these days, there is such a push of body positivity, loving our bodies, celebrating them. That’s all well and good, but it’s not always realistic. I don’t always love my body and I am not going to sit here and tell you that you must love your body.

It’s OK to not be happy about how your body looks, just like it’s ok to be perfectly content with how your body looks. It’s also ok to feel a bit of both.

I typically lie right in the middle of those two trains of thought. I love 75% of the way my body looks, but there are a couple of things I wish I could change. That is just how I feel. Is some of that simply just that little negative voice in my head (I’m sure you know the one I am talking about)? Yes. Am I working on changing what I can? Yes (and more importantly, I am doing it in a healthy way). So, why do I care about how I actually look in that particular outfit? Am I going to look any different in a different outfit? Maybe, but who cares. I felt so good lying in the sun, relaxing, watching our older boy run around in the grass. Why should I let thoughts of what anyone else (aside from my husband), including that negative little voice in my head, destroy that feeling?

So, what I really want anyone reading this to get, is that it’s OK to not be happy with your body and it’s ok to be body confident. What is more important to keep in mind is that no matter how you feel about your body, you can’t let that stop you from enjoying life. Wear what you want- do what you want. Have a little dress, or in my case, that pair of short shorts and wear it!

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A Week Away…These are the Moments

This past week we went on the first of our two summer vacations. This first one was a special one as we decided to take a somewhat “spontaneous” trip to see some family. I say somewhat spontaneous as this was not in our original plans for this year, but rather we decided it about a month to a month and a half out. 

We’ve got family getting ready to move out of the country for a little bit and this was going to be the last chance to really get to see them and have the entire family together. It was also a good chance to get the boys together with their cousins and for us to just get a little bit of a break. We loaded up the car and headed on our way…

However crazy this past week has been between teething, sleeping, noise, and food, it was so so SO much fun! I always love being around family and it is such a blast to watch all of the grandkids playing together. The boys had so much fun playing with their cousins and ALL of the toys. They got to not only play with new toys, but the amount of learning that happens with that is so good.

We had fun getting away from work and catching up with family. It is good to just be able to disengage from your normal. To be able to break out of that routine and just breathe easy for a little while. Not have to almost rush through your days to get everything done, everyone fed and happy. It was nice to just focus on the boys and my husband for the week. 

It is so important to be able to get this time away; not only for my husband and I, but for our children as well. They can pick up on so many tiny little emotions and while they may not understand what it means, they can understand when Mommy and Daddy are tired/stressed/have a lot going on. They also then get stuck into these little ruts and getting out of that routine, even for only a couple of days (less than the week we did this time) is good for everyone.

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Having a Ball – These Are The Moments

Every once in a while it is vital to take a step back, step away from the hum drum and routine of life and do something special. For marriage it is so important to take some time to just be a spouse for a little while, instead of a parent and a spouse. We can get so sucked into the routine of every day and almost just going through the paces of life that we forget or end up neglecting some aspects of that life. 

This past week was so insane between all of our schedules and what was going on, that by the end of it, I definitely needed a good amount one on one time with my husband. Some time to take my mom hat off and just be a wife. Luckily we got to have a little bit of a formal date night as we attended a ball! This gave us the perfect chance to get all gussied up (something we rarely actually do) and have a little alone time! We sent the boys to our friends (and neighbors!), so we even got that parenting break. 

I realized that it had actually been so long since we had any sort of real date night. Our normal little weekly date nights that I’ve talked about had fallen to the wayside with our schedules, and we really just needed some time to each other. To be able to connect, to talk without our 2 year old interrupting, to just be husband and wife for a little bit. 

There is something so special about that bond between a husband and wife. It is always there and always present, but still needs to be nurtured. A garden can’t bloom without being watered regularly (how many times have you heard something similar in regards to marriage lol) and it was time that our garden got a little more water. 

I have to say, being able to come home after the ball, lay on the couch and not have to worry about a baby crying, our toddler waking up early, or realistically anything other than just laying on that couch with my husband was pretty fantastic. I also have to say, after the week that we have both had, being able to connect like that, was so special and so important. 

When we woke up on Saturday morning (absolutely exhausted by the way), I knew that we had gotten exactly what we needed. Yes, I woke up with an immediate desire to see our children, but I also woke up in a comfort state. The one that is a lazy morning, snuggled up with the person that I love most in the world. It has made all the difference in the world, not just for me as a wife, but me as a person and me as a mom. 

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Surprise…Time to be Vulnerable

I contemplated whether this was even going to be a post that I would share. I was shaky just typing this. So much so, that it wasn’t even on my radar, scheduled in my line up or anything. It was half written on my desktop just staring at me (or as much as a lifeless document in a lifeless computer can do so). You see, this is something that I’ve spoken to some people about or some people may have inferred this just from knowing me, but I don’t really speak on it publicly, so I would say 90% of the people who know me don’t know this about me.

I am incredibly good at hiding this part of me (after many many many years of practice now), so if you have no clue what I am about to talk about, don’t feel bad. I don’t speak about it for several reasons and honestly I don’t really know why I am now nor do I really know where/how this post will go. If you’re reading this, then well here we go.

Most of the posts that we see relating to our bodies is all about body positivity and loving ourselves just as we are- in fact I’ll be touching on these subjects this coming month as the spring and summer seasons near. I am 100% ok with the whole body positivity and body empowerment and am all about loving your body exactly as it is, BUT I feel really drawn to sharing a story about myself. I would feel fraudulent speaking in May about body image and such without sharing the whole story and I figured now was as good a time as any.

I have struggled with an Eating Disorder.

I Still do.

For me it started as a desire to control the one thing I felt I could control at a very toxic, dysfunctional, chaotic time of my life. The obsession with my body later came shortly after. At the time, I simply felt so wildly out of control in my regular day to day, that I needed something to have total control over. That became my food. It didn’t even matter what I was eating, as long as I could control when, how much, and have total say over every aspect I felt better. Some days I wouldn’t eat anything at all. Somewhere deep down I knew that it wasn’t right, but it felt so much better and that was all that mattered.

About 4 months or so in I noticed a change in my body. I had been working out here and there and controlling everything that I ate, some days not eating anything at all. The little bit of weight I had put on after stopping a rigorous athletic activity had come off and then some. That was when everything turned for the worse. I have a very light, thin frame and most people are probably reading saying: “C’mon another thin girl, you don’t put on weight, are always so small, etc”, but for me I instantly noticed when my body was slimmer, the hips shrunk down a little, my tummy firmed back up. My mind had put two and two together and that is when the obsession started to go further than simply just needing to control something in my life.

I would go up and down, going back and forth between not eating a lot to pigging out and then promptly working out like crazy. I tended to stay more on the side of either not eating or not eating anywhere near enough. Anorexia. I became a professional hider and would hide everything from everyone and would go to great lengths to appear “normal”. Family trips or vacations I would act and eat like any other person would and then “pay” for it later on after getting home. As long as I looked “normal”. This is one aspect that I still struggle with now when I am having hard days.

I was at my worst for about 2 years. It’s now 11 1/2 years from starting down that unhealthy road. I won’t get into all of the details of what works for me or how I started healing in this post because I feel like this is already a really long post as it is. What works for me may not work for anyone else. That is the nature of eating disorders. Also, what worked for me at my worst is different from what works for me now. I’m at a different point in my life so my recovery has altered with where I am at now.

While I am definitely at my healthiest now (both mentally and physically) and have been overall for a little over 7 years, I still have struggles all the time. Some days are much much worse than others, but I have an amazing support system around me (even if they don’t realize it) and I have the tools to deal with those days-which are more frequent than I truly care to admit. I know that this is going to be an ongoing journey and struggle and I am trying to be more open about it.

So that’s it. Feels weird getting to the end of this post. I’m sure this has just been all over the place. If you’ve read all the way through, thank you for reading.

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My Morning Routine: Spring 2018

I thought I would finish out this whole Spring/Morning series with a little look at what my own morning looks like. My mornings are very strategically planned out so that I get a chance to get a little “me time” along with a healthy start and outlook to my day. I find that when I get to have that extra little bit of time, I have a much better day and a clearer mindset. 

So to start off my day, I tend to wake up around 5:45-6:00am. This gives me about 2 1/2 hours before the kids are up. The first thing I do is grab a bit of water and head down for a workout. Screen Shot 2018-03-26 at 10.10.13 AMI like to start my morning off with a workout because I feel like it releases those endorphins, gets my blood and body moving, and I get one of my priorities out of the way. Typically this is about a 30 minute workout and then I’m done.

Once I finish my workout, I get a shower and get ready for the day. Some people think that it is crazy to put on jeans/regular clothes and makeup when I typically don’t leave the house. For me, it is simply a mental change. If I am wearing a full outfit and such, then I will actually get things done for the day. If I stay in sweats, I have a much less productive day. It’s just a personal choice. 

At this point it is typically around 7:30am and it is time to get breakfast. For breakfast I will have anything from cereal, to a bagel, to what I had today, which was a scrambled eggs mixture. I think this is probably one of my favorite meals to make as it satisfies everything I want in the morning- eggs, carbs, and spiciness. I also make my first cup of tea of the day. 

While I eat my breakfast I typically read whatever book that I am reading currently and I look over my to-do list and schedule for the day. I like to take this time to just enjoy my food, tea, and the peace and quiet of the house. This is my morning ritual. The ritual of making my tea, breakfast and then getting to sit down and enjoy it with my book and planner. More than anything, this is what sets my day on the right track. Everything else just helps. Once the boys are up, there is no such thing as quiet, so I like to enjoy it when I get it. 

The boys are typically up around 8:30 at that ends the little bit of quiet and relaxation I get until bedtime! I do love waking them up though because they both always wake up with a smile on their faces. The happiness just radiates and is perfect! 

Do you have any morning ritual? What does your morning look like?

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5 Tips to Keep Your Headspace Clear and Positive

A lot of times we work through our day to day hoping that we can get everything done that we need to and we do this everyday until we get to the weekend. There are always ways to be more productive and be better in our own headspace. I don’t necessarily want to focus on how we can be more productive. More so, I want to focus on how we can keep our headspace clear when life gets extra busy and then in turn, be more productive.

Today I am going to give some tips on what helps me keep my head straight and clear when I am trying to conquer those especially busy, juggle all of the things, weeks. Earlier in the year, I went through a couple of just back to back busy weeks. It just constantly seemed like I was trying to keep my head above water and just get stuff done. There were some long days and almost sleepless nights. These times happen and while sometimes all you can do is just go through it, there are a few things to just keep your headspace clear and continue through it with minimal “damage”.

Here are my tips on keeping your head up during those busy weeks that seem never-ending and especially hectic:

  1. Wake up 30-60 minutes before you have to do anything. If for no other reason than to get a little you time in. This is going to be essential to keeping your head clear. You can spend this extra time doing things you need to get done, but I would actually recommend that you take this time to treat yourself. Not only will that give you a little decompress time, but it will start your day off with a positive note, rather than just having to get up and jump right into it. I did a post all about how to wake up earlier that you can read HERE.
  2. Start the morning off with some yoga, stretching, a quick jog, some sort of physical activity to get your body moving and warmed up. Again, we are working on keeping your headspace clear. A little yoga session, jogging around the park, or some sort of exercise will not only get your body moving, but the endorphins that you’ll get from that little bit of movement will lighten your mood. It’s also just a good habit to have.
  3. Open up the blinds, windows (if warm enough), and let the natural daylight rule your roost. I’m a huge believer in sunlight/Vitamin C being such a big mood lifter. The first thing I do in the morning after I work out is to open the blinds. Once I leave our bedroom, I open all of the blinds in our house. It instantly puts me in a good mood and instantly makes me feel like I can conquer the day. Simple daylight.
  4. Write it out. Have some way to get your thoughts, your to do list, everything out of your head and onto something. Whether you have a note or app in your phone, or like me, you use a planner, getting all of those thoughts out of your head will lighten your load, allow you to break down tasks and keep your head clear to complete those tasks. You wont forget things, you’ll be able to stay more focused, and overall keep your headspace clear to complete your tasks.
  5. Be Realistic. When you’re at the height of that busy time of your life you need to be realistic about what you can actually accomplish. Do not set yourself up for failure by setting too many expectations. Look at the tasks that you have to accomplish and prioritize those tasks. If it isn’t necessarily, does it really need to be done? What exactly is necessary? Be realistic about what you can actually do in one day or one week and don’t beat yourself up if you haven’t gotten everything done.
  6. Stop yourself from mindlessly scrolling on your phone. I’m throwing in a little extra tip here because I think this one is so so important. It is unnatural how much time we spend during our day looking at technology. A lot of this is related to the work we do and can’t be helped, but what can be helped is the time that we spend watching television or mindlessly scrolling on our phones. It is so easy to just reach for your phone and next thing you know an hour or two has past and you don’t know what exactly you even did. Put the phone down and do something different. This series two purposes, it gives your eyes and brain a rest, and gets you working your brain or your body in a different direction. This has been one of the biggest changes I’ve made lately and I’ve noticed a difference in myself.

These are my top 5 tips. It’s hard when life gets hectic and you feel like there is just so much going on and you can’t see that light at the end of the tunnel. Sometimes it’s much too far away, but it is my hope that by implementing a couple small changes, you can at least keep your head clear and in turn be as productive as possible.

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Spring Days…These Are The Moments

It seems that Mother Nature must have been hearing my plea with all of the spring talk and she sure did give us some warm, sunny days! Winter still has its stronghold (hello gray sky, cold temp, and rainy day today), but we got such a beautiful glimpse of whats to come. Also, I love the gray, rainy days so I’m ok with the days like today. They make good cosy up, read and drink tea all day days. I digress. 

With the warmer temps, we took some much needed time soaking up all the sunshine and spent a good amount of our time outside. It was so refreshing to be able to just sit outside and take in everything around us. We had a photo shoot on the first day (hello perfect weather for that!), then we spent a good amount of our weekend home, wandering around the deck with bubbles, in the front yard exploring, down to the park for a nice walk, and just around the house in general. 

It was just such a breath of fresh air and I felt so much “lighter” going into this week. Its absolutely amazing what just a few days of wonderful weather can do for yourself. It frees up your soul to be able to just sit in the sun for an hour, or to watch your children discover grass for the first time. For me, someone who loves reading on a rainy day in my most comfy chair, being able to take my book outside and sit in the warmth of the sun was fantastic. I felt like the weight of winter was lifted (as I’ve been talking about for a little while now) and it sure did just raise my spirits. 

It’s nice how the smallest of things make the biggest difference. I could have had just one sunny day and felt loads better, but getting three was fantastic.

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Real Talk: Spring Outlook (Spring Cleaning Part 3)

I’ve started off April in a rush to purge, to clean, to have a fresh outlook on how the year is progressing in our life. This included purging a lot of items, doing a deep clean of our house and now that both of those items are done, it is time to look out our spaces, our mindset, our intentions for 2018 to see what we can freshen up.

I’m a big believe in always coming back to your intentions. Always revisit any goals (or *cringe* resolutions) you’ve set for the year and see how your progress is going. It is a good thing to check and see what is working and what isn’t working. Where are you thriving? Where could you use a little work? What can you tweak or re set with to continue on the path that you want for yourself this year.

As I’ve mentioned before, Spring is a great time to do just this. Not only do we all naturally start to shed away the layers of winter, but Spring almost brings the same feelings as the New Year with that fresh start, fresh outlook type of feeling.This is the time to take a step back and re evaluate how your year has started. We are still early enough into the year that a lot can be accomplished. It’s OK if you’ve looked at your intentions for the year and decided that you need to jus scrap them and start fresh. It’s also OK to say I’ve been rocking these and I want to take it up to the next level. NOW is such a great time to make these adjustments and changes.

In coming back to our intentions, I’m a big believer in setting up our spaces, setting up our day to day, to reflect what we want to accomplish and what we need in our life. Spring naturally allows us to freshen up our wardrobe and spaces by having warmer temperatures, more sunshine, and a general feeling of “freshness” in the air. We are already having to shed those thick winter layers and large fleece blankets for shorter t shirts and lighter sheets. Windows start to open more frequently (which already leads to a more positive outlook) and allows you to look at yourself and your space for another change.

Often times with Spring, we bring down the lighter blankets, put out the pastel decorations, and shorter clothes. While you are already creating a sort of change, don’t just stop with your clothes and a couple of decorations. Look at your space, whether it be your entire home, where you work, where you sleep, wherever, and really take a moment to check it out. Is this a good space for you. Are you going to be able to continue to excel or do you maybe need to change something up. This is the time to make any changes that you need to in your physical space to continue on with your year.

Re evaluation your intentions for the year and evaluating your physical space go hand in hand right now. You’ll find that you have a fresh look both in your mind and in your space to accomplish everything that you want. And if you’re finding that you are starting to struggle or plateau in your intentions, this may be the little kick in the but you need to keep going.

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