Real Talk: Self Worth

Hello, hello! I am kicking off a new series today that I am calling Real Talk. What is real talk? You know when you go to coffee or speak with your close friends about all sorts of topics? Where you have a good laugh or when you have a serious conversation all over a cuppa tea or really any cup of something yummy. That is what I intend for real talk. A casual chat on a different topic once a month. Some of them will be tip posts, some will be personal experiences with the topics, and some will be a combination of both. I want all of them to be a discussion opportunity.

Today I want to talk about Self Worth. To me, self worth is different from self esteem or self confidence, although it goes along the same train of thought. Self Confidence and Self Esteem start with Self Worth. Self Worth is the value that you know of yourself. That you give yourself. Knowing what you have to offer is extremely important and something that only you can determine. Here’s the problem- you are always worth more than you think or feel you are. I promise you that. So, determine your worth in your own mind and then double that (at least).

The most important thing to remember with Self Worth is that NO ONE else determines YOUR self worth. YOU know what YOU can do, what YOU bring to the table, and YOU know that YOU are doing YOU’RE best (unless you’re not and then that is a totally different conversation).

When you keep those things in mind, you should not have a problem. Anyone can try and question that worth or have a problem seeing that, but you know what you’re worth and what you bring. I came across a quote recently that I felt was perfect to repeat:

“Your value isn’t going to decrease simply because someone can’t see it”

When you feel like you’re worth is being questioned by someone else, do not let that make you question yourself. Remember, NO ONE can tell YOU what YOU are worth. That is something that you decide and it doesn’t just change on a whim. It is one of the hardest conflicts because feelings come into play and things can quickly spiral downward. To stop that from happening, Repeat the following: NO ONE determines my worth. NO ONE can dictate what I am worth in any situation.

What are your thoughts? Do you feel like you have had your self worth questioned? What do YOU do when you feel this way?

Till Next Time…#33537 Mia Speier SL final

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Planning in 2018

I’m a paper and pen kinda gal. I firmly believe in writing down goals, plans, to do’s and believe that it helps organize not only your life, but your mind. Once it’s written down, you are more than likely not only going to get whatever it is done, but you’ll feel better just by writing whatever it is down. I am not someone who really uses my phone as a main calendar, but rather as a back up system. I like to be able to disconnect and disengage from technology and by using a physical planner and journal, just makes it that much easier.

So, what am I using for this year? Excellent question. I tend to switch things up throughout the year, but one of my intentions last year was to stick through one single planner. This year I want to carry through with that same intention. I spent the better portion of the year in a bullet journal and considered that intention a success. While I love the bullet journal and think that it is great, this year I have decided to go back to a pre filled planner. At this point I really would like the bare bones of my planner already filled in and I can just write in my specifics.

IMG_7327This year I have picked out a Blue Sky and Day Designer collaboration planner from (big surprise) Target. I have used Day Designer planners before and I love them! I may actually end up going back to a full size Day Designer planner, but for now I have gotten this simple month and week layout going. I typically spend about 15 minutes or so Sunday Evening or Monday Morning mapping out my week and then about 5-10 minutes each morning with any specifics I want to mark down.

The other item that I have is my own personal journal. Once again, I am a firm believer in the paper and pen method and I write down 95% of everything. Some things I do not, but if something is bothering me or I’m having a rough time, I find that sitting down and writing it out helps so incredibly much. I try to write regularly and typically do about once a week (if not even more than that). It is just so helpful in getting things out of your head, off your plate, and a lot of times it helps me sort through my own thoughts.

This year I have a feeling I’ll be filling more than one journal, but I am starting with, yet another Target find, a Pink Light Design Notebook. It’s not what I typically go for, but I really liked it and I feel like it fit what I was hoping for for the beginning of my year.

So that is that! Those are the paper items I am using this year to help me stay on track for my year. Are you a pen and paper person? What are you using to keep organized this year?

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Let’s Look Back at 2017

So much happened. I’m not getting into the life or world news worthy times because…well I try not to live in those moments. Rather, I am going to talk about personal and family things that happened this year. I try to go through this every year (normally in my journal) as a way to look back one last time and look forward. The end of a year is a unique time where you can look back and forward simultaneously. First to look back…

  1. My baby Fox turned a year old at the start of 2017. This is kind of a cheat because his birthday is right after New Years and he will be turning two shortly, but it was still so crazy. Since his first birthday he has learned so much and has become very rambunctious. I can see a future little troublemaker coming through. His wealth of knowledge at his young age continues to amaze me every day (especially when he figures something out that I haven’t even really taught him) as well as his ever pickier eating and life habits. He has grown more stubborn and somehow more independent in this year.
  2. My baby Bear made his grand entrance halfway through the year (talk about timing, huh?). He has such a focus and determination on every little thing that he has come across in his first 6 months. I’m excited to see him continue to grow and learn. In his first 6 months he has not only learned how to do his developmental things (rolling, sitting, etc) he has learned how to captivate his brothers attention, make the dog run (towards him), and make us all fall in love all over again. He is so different, but still similar to his brother and I can’t wait to see how grows and learns in 2018! He has only been her for 6 months and already has made such a statement.
  3. My ever loving husband has weathered this past year so incredibly well, through the rough start at the beginning, the long hours of work, a newborn coming halfway through and spending the last month of the year at what seems like endless work hours. He made the promotion list at his job and was promoted towards the beginning of the year. He had one of his best hunting this year when we headed home, bringing back 3 deer to fill our freezer. He continues to be supportive and loving as well as a smart ass. We’ve grown a lot this past year in our relationship as we have continued to learn all about the journey of life.
  4. Something in me really clicked this past year. I’ve felt a weight just lifted from my body and myself. I’ve felt lighter, more comfortable, confident and self assured as to where I am in my life and what I am doing. I feel so very fulfilled in most of the areas in my life and I find that simply having that has been such a big change this past year. The end of this year has brought a new level of confidence in myself that is immeasurable. I’m not sure what really triggered this change, possibly a combination of several factors, but it’s been such a change. Beyond what I’ve already listed, it brings such a relaxing confidence. I’ve really enjoyed this new round of self discovery and I look forward to what 2018 will bring.
  5. Finally, one of the last things I want to touch on was vacations. We took quite a few trips in 2017, the biggest new one being a week in Maine. One of the best vacations we have been on and a new tradition that we are starting. We also visited Philadelphia and several spots closer to our current home in Virginia and D.C.

So far 2018 looks like it is going to be the year of new adventures. With a bucket list of things that we want to do in the Northern Virginia/Maryland/D.C. area, a business, and two wonderful growing kids, I fully plan on having quite the year! I can’t wait to see what we get up to in the new year.

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A Little Honesty for your Everyday

Let’s have a little honesty here for a minute…not that I’m ever dishonest, but let’s get really real. My life feels like a mess. This past week has been a disaster from start to finish in terms of just getting things done and it has made me crazy! I’m about to show how insane I can be with this post, so hopefully it doesn’t freak you out…

I am someone who likes things to be clean, put away, organized and handled. Mess causes stress. Clutter is no good in our home. I talked about my cleaning routine at the start of last week, which is ironic because all of last week I ended up getting very little cleaning done, which has caused me quite the panic.

*facepalm* right about now.

As I get later and later into this pregnancy (4 weeks to go if Little Bear comes when he is supposed to) I am finding it harder and harder to get things done. Not because I have a huge honking belly, or because I’m exhausted at the end of a long day chasing a toddler around, nor is it because I have been having contractions on and off. It is simply because there has been so much on my list of to do’s that I then end up feeling like I’m never going to get anything done.

This list is ever growing as we are counting down our days and some days it just seems like I add more to it than I cross off. The list was overwhelming me, the mess was overwhelming me, the general busyness of my days was overwhelming me. Normally I can barrel through just about anything, but nope I just hit the brakes. Which in any reasonable person would single a “hey- take a step back, breathe, realize that you can’t do it all.” thought or even a “it can be handled another day” though. Not for me. My brain immediately went into panic mode causing even more disarray. Not only was my house a mess and cluttered, but now so was my mind.

Thankfully when I have my moments, I have an incredible husband who steps up and helps clean up around the house, is an amazing father, and really steps in when I am drowning in my own mind. This has been a huge help lately as things start to change in our family with a new addition coming. Also, with him stepping in I have actually been able to cross some things off of my list and I’m heading into this week feeling more like myself than last week.

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Household Chores: Weekly Cleaning

It’s the household chores that not many like or want to do, but yet they have to get done. The chores like vacuuming, laundry, cleaning the bathrooms, every day things that need to be done no matter how much we don’t want to do them. On the whole, I am not a huge fan of cleaning, rather I like the results after I clean. I like having a clean, put together, presentable home and I find that our household generally runs better when it is clean. For us, mess leads to stress. Clutter is something we don’t like and when things are up and put away we are a happier family.

When you are tidying and doing regular every day cleaning, I find that the “bigger” things such as vacuuming or dusting or chores that are more “intensive” than just picking up toys and putting dishes away, tend to be put off. It turns into a “It can wait till tomorrow” or “It’s not that bad right now, we can wait another week”. Then those chores that may not have been at the top of the list, tend to become urgent later on. I have found a way to clean that not only works for myself, but allows me to have a clean house 99% of the time and doesn’t make me feel like I am just doing everything.

I figured this routine out by trial and error and a little bit of self reflection. I realized that if I was assigning myself one “chore” a day, such as dusting it was much easier for me to put it off to another day. For some reason in my mind, having one chore (even if it is for the entire house) is easier to put off, rather than having to do all of the chores for one room. In the end I was either missing chores throughout the week, or having to do do everything for the whole house on one day. Neither option was working. So, I came up with a new approach.

Every day (except Saturday and Sunday) I clean a room from top to bottom. For example, on Monday’s I clean the kitchen. I windex the windows, dust everything, clean and sanitize all of the counter spaces (which is something I do every day irregardless), clean the microwave and oven, sweep the floors(which I also do several times throughout the week in the evening) , and clear out our fridge and pantry. These are all tasks that are easily completed within about an hour and when done every week, keep our kitchen and dining area free of clutter and mess.

This routine ensures that I am not only keeping the house clear of dust and dirt, but also that those chores that I was putting off get done. Approaching it in a room by room situation seems to work better for me and helps me keep a more manageable approach to cleaning. Some days I do combine rooms as it is either simpler or not as much to do in each room. For example, I combine both Boy’s rooms and their bathroom, because they are smaller and require a little less attention than say, our Kitchen or Master Bedroom that has more items. I also do a mop of all of the wood and tile floors every other week, and wash blankets, sheets, etc every other week as well.

This is on top of just my standard everyday things that need to be done, such as picking up toys that have become scattered throughout the day, dishes, and just general tidying of our home. I like to wake up with a clean home, so every evening I try to make sure that everything has been picked up, dishwasher has been started, counter tops and kitchen table is clean and the house just has a generally clean state. I find that this allows my mornings to be so much less stressful (I mean who wants to deal with dishes first thing in the morning?!) and I get a much better start to my day. It may seem like a lot to do, but like I said when you look at the chores for each room, it only takes about an hour each day, with some days being less than that, and it seems much easier to say, today I am going to clean our Living Room and then just do it, rather than today I am going to dust and vacuum the entire house. The same chores get completed in the same timeline (each room is dusted, vacuumed, etc once a week), but taking it room by room seems to me to be less daunting.

I do take Saturday’s “off” of my chore cleaning as we are typically out of the house on those days and just enjoying our family time together and Sunday’s are devoted to the never ending chore called Laundry. Overall though, I really like this routine and while I am cleaning I blast some music – in my headphones because…nap time. Dare I say it- cleaning actually becomes enjoyable!

MiaLeave a comment

Let’s Talk About Planning!

I am such a pen and paper kinda girl – I always have been. There is something so calming to me about writing down what I need to do, ticking it off when I’ve done it, and just having notes to reference throughout the day. I find it really helps me stay sane when life can be crazy and it lets me keep my tasks and things that I want to accomplish straight.

I’ve had a planner for a long time, but never really found a planner that truly worked for me. I’ve had to just kind of work around what I’ve been using or have a notebook of some sort in addition to my planner. Those are all options, but I’ve been constantly trying to find or try something new.

This past year I have been really interested in consolidating. I really only want to be using one or two notebooks and my journal rather than spreading everything out through a planner, business notebook, journal, and brainstorming papers. I reached a point early this year that I just felt like nothing was really working for me and it started to bother me. I started doing some research.

I’ve known about bullet journaling for quite a long time, but I’ve never really considered it due to time constraints. I wanted to try it out, but felt a little daunted at the fact that I would be creating a planner, calendar and everything by myself from scratch. I didn’t realize that in reality that was the best thing for me.

Over the next few posts about Bullet Journaling I am going to share several things from what I use to create my Bullet Journal, some of my favorite pages, as well as little tips that I have realized as I have gone a long.

If you are curious to get a good overview of Bullet Journaling you can check out Ryder Carroll’s website HERE and see what it is all about. I will say- don’t get overwhelmed by everything that is listed and explained on the site. You don’t have to have a fancy key system or anything like that, but it will give you a good overview of what Bullet Journaling is.

MiaLeave a comment

Starting the Road to Change- One Daily Thing

I’m going to start doing some posts about making changes in your life and being more productive and positive in your day to day life and interactions. This is a change that I have been working on and just trying to be the “best me”. I promise you it won’t be too cheesy or self-help. I just found some of these things really worked for me and they may work for you if you are wanting to make a change or just read some positive!

“You’ll never change your life until you change something you do daily. The secret to you success is found in your daily routine.”

I’ve always realized that if you try and make a slew of changes all at once, you are bound to fail to an extent. A change or two is bound to fall through the cracks, or it gets overwhelming and they all fall to the wayside. I don’t know about you but when I am feeling like I need or want a change, I do a whole bunch at once rather than one thing at a time. Every time I do this, I fail at everything I’ve tried to change. This is a much better approach, that will lead to results.

When I had just gotten through the “newborn” stage with our Little Fox and had been able to settle up a routine with him that worked for both of us, I had a bit of a reality check. Let’s have a little story time…

I posted recently about Bad Habits as a Stay At Home Mom. I’ve done all of them at one point or another, but the one that this post is relating to is the not getting properly dressed every day. I was in sweats all day everyday and my hair was usually brushed and thrown up in a ponytail or bun. One afternoon one of our neighbors stopped by to bring us some honey as a little “Welcome” gift. I answered the door and to them I probably looked like a complete mess. I could see in their faces that they were a little surprised and as we continued to talk and they realized what all I did, I could just see them still being a little…taken aback. That’s when it hit me.

What would I think if I saw someone out and about in the same clothing that I was wearing? Albeit, I wasn’t leaving the house (I always made sure that I was dressed when I left the house), but the concept remained the same to me. I found myself realizing that my attitude and productivity were also being affected. I just felt like more of a “slob” than I should have.

So, I decided to change ONE thing at a time.

The first thing I changed was my wardrobe. I made myself put on jeans, a skirt, a dress, something other than sweatpants. I started by focusing solely on what I was wearing. I didn’t worry about hair or makeup at this time, just on clothes. I found that this way I was able to  I made sure to wait at least 2 weeks before I started to make another change. For me, 2 weeks is a good amount of time for a new habit is formed and I find that after a full month, if I go back to something different or pre habit it is “odd” to me.

My biggest take away would be to start with something small and easy every day. It is true that changing ONE thing in your daily routine will lead to more changes and eventually lead you to change your life. Choose something that you find is really taking away from your outlook, your productivity or that you want to change in your life. For me, it was my clothing, for you it may be getting up before your kids or husband, or doing the dishes before bed. Whatever it is, make sure that it is something manageable and something that you can commit to. Don’t try and change your everyday clothing, getting up earlier, and breakfast routine all at the same time. It will only lead to you either feeling overwhelmed or one of those tasks falling to the wayside.

Once you’ve got one task set up and you have done it every day for a few weeks, implement another small change. Once I was getting dressed properly everyday, I started making a full breakfast in the mornings. More followed and I found that not only did I feel better about myself, but my productivity really started to increase. Things around our house started getting done and not only am I happier, but I’ve noticed a huge change in our family dynamic.

Once you’ve got a solid foundation throughout your day, everything changes.

MiaLeave a comment

I Had A Moment: Storytime

*Mini Confession time…this was not the post that was supposed to go up today. I had planned to do a post about a daily change, but something happened this week and I really wanted to write and share about it. It was an incredible thing and the post that was supposed to go up today will go up on Monday 🙂

Ya’ll, I had my moment. That moment that everything just falls into place and something gently nudges you and reminds you- everything is going to be alright. Everything is exactly as it should be. You were given the life you were meant (and strong enough) to live.

Let me go backwards. This week has just been a tough week. We’ve all been there. This past week I was questioning a lot; everything from what to make for dinner during my meal planning to whether I would really be able to handle two children. I let the best get to me and started to wonder if I was truly capable to be all that I wanted to be and all that I was setting up for myself.

It’s not easy at times to manage it all. I try not to harp on about how busy I am because I know that there are those that are even busier, but I have quite a bit going on as it is. From running my own business, to working part time, to being a wife and mom- it adds up quickly. Then realizing that you’ve also got to squeeze some time in there for yourself while holding everything else together. It almost sent me on a tailspin this week and it sure put a little edge on how I handled myself.

This led me to wonder if I could not only handle two children, but if I could or would want to have more children after our little Bear is born. Albeit we have plenty of time to make that decision and things change all the time, but I’ll be honest- I did quite a bit of self reflection throughout the week. I always thought we would have 3 or 4 children, but part of my week was wondering if I couldn’t handle one or two and everything else, how would I do with more?

Then, I just had a moment. I had just finished my daily cleaning and decided instead of turning on the television, I would plug in some music, get my little Fox out of his crib and we would have some sort of creative time. Our son is a constantly moving child and it is very rare that he will just sit and chill for longer than a few seconds – maybe a minute if you’re really lucky. He just loves to be moving and be on his feet. This afternoon was out of the norm for him. He decided that he just wanted to climb up on my lap and sit with me for a little while.

IMG_5502So, we sat in this incredibly comfy chair staring out the window watching the wind rustle the tree branches and leaves outside. The music playing around in the background and everything just clicked. I experienced the most amazing sense of calm that I hadn’t felt in a little while and in my mind I got that gentle nudge. In that moment I instantly knew that everything was perfect and I was exactly where I was supposed to be. That I was and can handle anything that is thrown at me. I can and will do it all because I am not doing more or less than what I want for myself and my family.

This is the moment that I needed and the moment that I will hold onto whenever I am experiencing those moments of self doubt or wonder.

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Take A Moment…

Do you ever just sit in awe of the world around you? I am sitting out on our back porch and just watching and listening as the world turns around me. I’ve got a mommy bird in the hanging candle behind me laying on her eggs. I’ve got a woodpecker somewhere in the trees off our back deck, pecking away at a tree trunk. The fox just ran through our backyard (and no I am not making any of this up, this is what really happens in my backyard) heading to his home. Here I am, sitting and enjoying a hot cuppa whilst birds are singing, flowers are blooming and a perfectly blue sky is up above. It is such a magnificent sight to take in.

When the weather turns nicer, I love to sit out on our back deck whenever I can and take these moments and views in. It’s a little reminder to stop my busy life and just take a moment to really enjoy the world we live in. There is beauty everywhere you look- if only you take a moment to look.

I want to encourage you to do the same thing at some point every day or as often as you can. It really changes your whole outlook on not only your everyday, but your life. I know it may sound cheesy, but when you take a minute to come out of your own life and view something in nature it changes everything. If you can make it a part of your every day or weekly routine you will start to notice a change. A more positive outlook, a little more relaxation and on the whole just a happier approach to your days.

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What a Week!

Gosh, it’s been a week! It started busy and ended with a little domesticity and a little relaxation.

The week started off with my Mother In Law leaving (after being in town for 2 weeks helping me out after a little fall) and a visit from my best friend, Aleta. We’ve been close friends for a couple of years now and she not only wanted to come and visit us, but also bring her daughter to the city (D.C.). It was such a lovely time! I can’t speak enough about how amazing she is and how much I truly cherish our friendship. We not only did some sight seeing, but we also did some tea drinking and A LOT of talking.

Her daughter also took some photo’s of us for The Cosy Book Shoppe (business), but also managed to capture some of me in all my pregnant with #2 glory. I wasn’t planning on doing any maternity photo’s this time around, just kind of capture some moments here and there, but nothing too formal. While we were taking the business photo’s she took a little time out to capture some of me that turned out really well (if I do say so myself).

With all of the excitement of having people in town for 2 1/2 weeks, I really needed some time to decompress and relax. I took a day to just take it easy and then took a little time towards the end of the week to do some cooking, baking, and reading! The weather has been warming up, which means I start making Potato Salad a lot- maybe a little too much sometimes LOL. The warmer weather also means a lot more time on our back deck and a lot of cold beverages and colder treats like smoothies, and cheesecakes/silk/satin pies.

I can’t believe that we only have a little less than 9 weeks to go before #2’s due date, although if he is anything like his brother it’ll be closer to 10-11 weeks! This pregnancy has really just flown by and as we are nearing the end, we are starting to get things for a new nursery. We don’t have to get too much, it’s more rearranging furniture and then a new theme/wall decor/bedding items. The biggest shift is moving our Little Fox (Little Man #1) to his new room. The room that he is moving into was our home library, so we had a lot of books to move! The books have all been moved, it is just the last bit of furniture that needs to be moved and then we can start figuring out what we want to do. I am trying to keep Little Fox in his crib for as long as possible (as close to two as we can possible get it to work) without having to buy another crib. Little Bear (Little Man #2) will not being going into a crib in his own room for a little while after birth, so we’ve got some wiggle room.

I’m starting to order some items and things are starting to once again, become real in the fact of us becoming a family of 4! It will be quite a change and I am trying to prepare us as best as I can for it. The biggest thing that I learned with Little Fox that I will be taking into this new chapter is to just “go with the flow”. We fell into a routine the first time around fairly quickly and while I know it will be different with two instead of one, I know that as soon as we get things established everything else will fall into place. The biggest thing is just going to be going with it until we get there.

That’s all I’ve got for today- it became a little more chatty than I intended, but sometimes that is just what happens.

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